Episode 477:



Hello and welcome to Unshakable with Human Design. I’m your host, Nicole Laino and it’s just you and me today and we are going to talk about how to navigate big life transitions with human design. How this tool can really ground you in a process, especially when things feel shaky and not just for you. This is something that I use with my clients all the time. I mean, I’m always guiding them through their human design. I’m using human design to ground them in their own process. Here’s the beauty of this. So being able to listen to somebody and hear their story, hear what they are going through. Sometimes we don’t have the answer for how this is all going to get better. 

When there’s a death, when you are moving and you’re in between the old place and the new place and things feel chaotic and sometimes there’s not a whole lot that a coach can do. We can hold space, of course. But what is so amazing about human design and what I want to explore and kind of go through with you here is it allows you to have a process that belongs to the person you’re talking to and ground them in that. And what’s so life changing about that is they learn something about themselves through this trauma, challenging transition, this moment. They actually are learning to embody their process because they’re in it. You’re not talking about it. You’re not just telling them like, so you’re a generator. You’re tying it to the things that they are going through. 

You are anchoring it to their experience and you’re guiding them through how they can. While maybe not fix everything, sometimes it doesn’t. We can’t fix grief. We have to go through grief. But sometimes by giving people their process through human design or calling out specific aspects from their chart of where this might be showing up for them and why and how it’s showing up for them, being able to guide them through in a way that feels both comforting and useful for them, but also it’s very supportive for you as the coach. 

Before I found Human design and I coached people for quite a long time and I had nlp, I was an NLP practitioner and I was an EFT practitioner and I had taken life coaching courses, I had done quite a bit of study, and I’ve since gone through somatic trainings and astrology trainings. Like, I have a lot of expertise and I have a lot of training in how to guide people and how to read people and all of that. But it wasn’t until I found human design that I really felt like I knew how to listen to somebody. I knew what I was listening for. 

And I could start to find the areas of their own process where maybe I could offer them something useful that they could use to shift them back into something that felt more supportive, that felt more them, that felt comforting or helpful in that moment. So that’s what we’re going to explore in the episode today. Now, if you are interested in coaching, if you are interested in guiding people with human design, or if you’re just interested in going super deep with this for your own process and your own family and your own group of people that you have around you in your circle, I have been asked about this for many years now. I have been asked if I had a certification for human design. And my answer was always no, because I, quite frankly, didn’t want to do it. My sacral said no. 

For a very long time I would get a hard no. And I think it was because I was occupied with other things. I was excited about other things, my energy was going other places and it was choosing other things besides a certification. And then people started asking me about a year ago, they started asking me, are you going to do a certification? And I started to get a different answer. So we are finally launching it. And I took a lot of time in figuring out how do I want to teach this? Because I don’t want it to be like every other human design certification because I had to take one multiple certifications of all different types. And I’ve taken more human design courses than I can count. Literally. I have no idea how many hours I have spent, but it’s thousands at this point. 

And I’ve done so much study and I didn’t want people to go through that. I didn’t want my certification to be one that left a bunch of holes in people’s process that they didn’t know what to do with it. I had no interest in putting out another certification. That’s just, here’s what a manifesting generator is. Here’s what a defined G center means. Here’s what it means for this. I wasn’t interested in passing along more definitions. There are enough books on human design podcasts on Human design, other people’s certifications where they give you that did not feel good to me. I needed to give you something that was a truly practical solution. So that’s what we’ve done. 

My particular method, we’re calling it integrated human design because it’s truly how you integrate this into your current coaching practice, your therapy practice, your current work, or if you are somebody who is in aspiring coach, an aspiring guide, because that is what you will be when you get out of the certification. If you are somebody who’s an aspiring guide to guide people toward their purpose and to make money at this and to use this in your own business and maybe build a business around human design, it is built for you so you can actually get people results, so that you can actually know what to do with the human design knowledge we are giving you. While there are definitions, of course you need to know what things mean. 

But all of our practical sessions, which we have 12 weeks together, so you will have live sessions with me personally where we are getting you active with the knowledge that you are actively using it. I’m not teaching in those sessions. We are only working together and workshopping this. So when you finish the 12 weeks, you’re like, I know what to do with this. I know what my genius is with this. I know that I can start taking clients tomorrow and feel confident that I can guide them. I can give a badass reading, or I could guide people to their purpose. That is what we are going to do together over the 12 weeks. If you’re interested in that DM ME certification on Instagram, I’m @nicolelainoofficial or go to nicolelaino.com/certification and you can check out all of the details there. Okay, thank you, guys. 

To learn more about training with Nicole to become a certified Integrated Human Design Guide, go to nicolelaino.com/certification or DM Nicole “Certification” on Instagram (instagram.com/nicolelainoofficial), and we’ll send you the details

All right, let’s dive into this. So navigating big transitions. I do this pretty much every week Inside Business by Design. Some client comes in with a major life transition that they’re going through something that feels difficult to them or something where they feel like they are between places, whether it’s between offers in their business or, like I said, moving house. This is what life is, right? Life is full of transitions. But when we try to give people advice on a transitional moment, again, we’re giving them when we’re giving them our advice. So I had a client recently, she’s moving, so. 

And she’s sort of between decisions of where she’s going to move to and she’s waiting on a job offer and trying to figure out, waiting to see if they are going to continue her in the process of interviewing for this job she really wants, and so she doesn’t know where she’s moving, but she’s got to be out of her apartment. She has all of these things going on and yet she can do nothing about them. She’s sort of in a holding pattern. So she’s transitioning in her life in this way. Moving house, changing positions at work, or potentially taking a new position and just shifting all of these things, which can be very destabilizing. What helps me is to know one. I know this person, of course, we’ve been working together for several months. 

But to look at her chart and to know what parts of her maybe feel destabilized by this, she’s a one lion. It’s like, oh, well, one lines really do wanna know. They wanna have some sort of foundation. They want to have concrete, solidified things that feel certain. They want to feel certain. And that’s what the one line is all about. She’s also a four line, also really likes a foundation. It can help me to know these things and I can help to guide her as a 14 through this. But the thing that was standing out to me here was it’s what happens in this process because I can watch people no matter what type they are. But we’ll use generators as an example. Generators and manifesting generators. 

What will happen during a process like this when the sacral has nothing to move on, when there is nothing to do? That’s exciting. I was saying to her, I’m like, you know, nobody likes to pack. There’s nobody who likes to pack for a move. There’s nobody who wants to go through their dead loved ones things. These are not fun things for us to do. So it might feel like your sacral is kind of dormant here, which is why it’s important to go out and do things that do feel good, that have nothing to do with this, so that you can come back and take care of what needs to be taken care of. But it’s also when your sacral doesn’t have anything to engage with, you’re going to go right back to your mind. That’s when the thoughts are going to start swirling. 

That’s when you are going to start trying to figure things out. And that takes you further out of the process, which makes you feel worse, which makes you feel like you have to figure it out or you have to have a resolution to something, or you sit there without moving and it just ends up feeling like you’re neither here nor there. It feels, I don’t like the word hopeless, but that’s the one that’s coming to me. Because you just feel like you’re helpless. There’s nothing that you can do to fix it. And you so desperately want to. So the answer for a sacral is go engage with life. Go shift to something that does feel good to you. Your energy wants to go somewhere, unless it’s tired. 

If it’s not tired, then it wants to go somewhere, just not where you are trying to force it to go. And sitting there and trying to mentally figure things out and try to, you know, you can look at homes in different cities, you can do that, but you can’t move on any of them. So you don’t want to do too much of that. You do what feels good in the moment. And if nothing feels good, it’s because maybe what you are engaged with isn’t right for you in that moment. It’s important for me always to bring sacrals back to the moment. And that because something doesn’t feel good now doesn’t mean that it won’t feel good forever. We have to remember that because that’s how it feels. We lose all sense of that when we go into the mind. 

Because the mind thinks, what if it’s like this forever? What if we never feel excited again? That’s what the mind does. Those are beliefs. That’s the part of you that is scared that everything won’t work out. None of that is your truth. None of that is your design. So do you see how being able to guide somebody back to their process immediately creates some calm? They start to feel it. I watch it in people. And there was a difference between when I coached without human design. And I mean, it’s a world of difference between when I coached before human design and coaching now with human design and having done that for several years now. The difference is I used to give advice. And when you give advice and you’re just breaking down and having people reframe thoughts, that’s helpful. 

But what you find is they kind of always come back to those same thoughts. They’re coming back with the same problem over and over again because you’re not helping them fix really why they are stuck because you can’t see it. You’re looking at it from a mind level. And we need to just take the mind out of it completely. And human design is the only tool that I have found that actually does that. Which is why it is so amazing to offer this during big life transitions because it gives people permission to Follow their process because there’s part of them that’s saying they shouldn’t do it like that. It shouldn’t be that easy. I shouldn’t be having fun when there’s so much to do, right? A projector might say, I shouldn’t rest when there’s so much to do. 

I shouldn’t go have coffee with a friend when there’s so much to do. A manifester might be like, I shouldn’t show up the way that I want to. I shouldn’t rest because there’s so much to do. Or I shouldn’t be so pissed that I’m doing something, you know, I should want to be a part of this. And they just don’t. They don’t want to be. They might feel guilty. My advice to them might be, well, maybe you should hire someone to help you pack up. Or if they are grieving, they may really need to either tap out. They have to do whatever they want to do. That’s the funny thing about manifestors. I’m never telling them what to do. I have to be very careful about that. You never tell a manifesto what to do. The choice has to be theirs. 

But you can ask great questions to help them arrive at the thing that makes them feel like they can follow what they truly know and to wait until they have that clarity. I think in my coaching career previously, it was all about, well, how do I get them moving, how do I get them producing, how do I get them to be successful? So it was very much that, go, go, how do we reframe this so you could still be productive? I labeled myself a productivity coach in the beginning because that really was in my design. I’m very much geared toward productivity. My astrology and my human design point a lot in that direction. But that’s me. That’s not the people that I work with. Not everybody is here to push for productivity at all costs. 

And what I learned through human design is that pushing for productivity does not make some people productive. It has a counter productive effect on them. End on a relationship because they feel like you just pushed them and pushed them. And either they feel like they let you down or they feel like they let themselves down and like something is wrong with them. And the truth is that they are just different. Nothing is wrong with them. They are just different. And we don’t honor the difference in traditional forms of coaching. We honor the output. And with human design, it’s process first. 

Because if you can get somebody to trust their process, if you could get Somebody, you know, when I work with people for a year inside Business by design, they’re transformed because they had a year if they were showing up and actually doing the work with me. They have been coached consistently for a year, me guiding them back to their process whenever they lost their way. I just saw somebody post about this, talking about the lack of integrity in the coaching industry. And one of the things they were calling out was how they watched coaches and mentors intentionally confuse people so that they would stay with them and manipulating them, which I can’t think of a worse thing to do. 

I don’t think that most people do that on purpose, but I do think that some coaches are not all that upset when people renew and renew because those people feel like they need them. I am very excited when clients tell me that they are going to go off and do their own thing because they feel like they are prepared. Now. I’m also very excited when they say they’re going to renew because they enjoy working with me and they know there’s more work to do. So they want to continue to grow. That I love. But that’s a choice. That’s not them being like, oh, my God, what am I going to do without this? I’m scared. No. I want them to fly and leave the nest. And human design actually allows you to pass on a process to people that creates that ability. 

If they’re understanding of their process and they’ve got it in their body at that point and they know what to do. You’ve given them the tools. You’ve shown them how to use them. You’ve shown them when to pull out which tool. You’ve shown them how to see into their own process so they can start to coach themselves and guide themselves. Because you brought them back into their body. That’s a gift of lifelong transformation, not only for them, but for the people around them. It’s an amazing gift. So if you’re interested in that, if you’re interested in maybe taking the next step in your human design journey, and you really want to immerse yourself in it, the Integrated Human Design Guide certification is open right now. We start on June 1st. This is a cohort. 

You won’t be able to join late because we’re going to be on a week by week schedule and it will close doors. So we will close doors on May 29th. So if you would like to get more information on that DM me certification on Instagram, I’m @nicolelainoofficial or go to nicolelaino.com/certification and of course, it’s all linked up in the show notes for you. But thank you so much for being here with me. I appreciate you. And remember, in order to have an unshakeable business, you must first become an unshakeable human. So thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with human Design. We’ll see you next time. 

To learn more about training with Nicole to become a certified Integrated Human Design Guide, go to nicolelaino.com/certification or DM Nicole “Certification” on Instagram (instagram.com/nicolelainoofficial), and we’ll send you the details