Episode 347

Hello, and welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, everybody. I’m your host, Nicole Laino, and we are going to talk about patterns today. Now, why are patterns important? Well I obviously, I have a program where I work with entrepreneurs who are building businesses according to their human design. And let’s even just talk about the people that end up in that program.

Usually, the people that are attracted to me, and this is my cosmic niche as well. Why? Because it’s the story that I’m connected to these people. I speak to them in a way that feels really authentic to them. Where they say, I believe her, I believe that she understands this journey. And those people that end up in there, usually, what they fall into is, they’re people who have, mostly women, not, it doesn’t, it’s not exclusive to women, but we have mostly women in there, in fact, we have all women in there at the moment.

But they are people who are taking action, but they’re not progressing as quickly as they, I’m gonna use the word should. Although there’s no shoulds in our world, but you know what I mean. it feels like I’m doing a lot. I feel like I’m showing up a lot, but the results aren’t there. I don’t necessarily know what it is.

I feel like I’m doing all the things. I feel like I’m doing the right things. But for some reason it seems harder for me than it does for other people. And somewhere on some level they know. That they’re holding themselves back. But they also know that that’s not all of it. It’s not just, Oh, I’m stuck.

They’re plateaued. And they know that they’ve reached that inner glass ceiling. And they also probably know that there’s some things in the things that they’re choosing to do. The tasks that they’re doing, the way that they’re doing things, that there is some structure and there is some strategy that’s needed beyond what they have at the moment.

That there’s something that they can’t see There’s something where they’re like, okay, I’ve got all of this here, but I you know, I don’t know if I can see what’s wrong with it. I don’t know if I’m able to see So they end up coming into my world. And sometimes I just have conversations with them. I have clarity calls with people who have this same problem.

I’m doing all these things. I have a lot of balls in the air. I am taking action. I’m really trying to make something happen. I’m ambitious and I am putting in the work. But I don’t feel like there’s an equal exchange of the work that I’m putting in and the results that I’m getting back from the work that I put in.

Sometimes the answer to that can be systems and getting better at some of the strategies that we use. Usually what it is, I see that as a separate thing, like that’s how we amplify what we’re doing. That’s how we make it easier to do more, our systems. But no matter what you are doing, I don’t care if you’re a coach or if you’re a real estate agent or if you’re, but if you’re an entrepreneur, if you’re in this, business of making something happen from nothing, you create your results.

If that’s you, then you are the most crucial, You are the thing that will make or break your business. You are the thing that will make it grow super fast and have amazing results and you will most likely be the thing that holds it back at different stages. So we have to look at ourselves as entrepreneurs and usually the people who work with me know that.

So they’re game for this. They say, yeah, yeah, yeah, let’s dig into my stuff. And what I wanted to talk about today is because I used to I’ve been doing this I’ve been coaching in some way since 2016. So for a long time. And since 2016, I haven’t been doing human design since 2016.

I’ve been doing human design since 2020. But what I was doing before I was a peak performance coach was what I called myself. I’m an NLP practitioner. I work with EFT. Everything was about overcoming the self. What are the limitations, the self imposed limitations that we put on ourselves that are holding us back from our ultimate potential?

 I’ve always been obsessed with it and the reason I’ve been obsessed with it is I have had big dreams. I’ve been ambitious. I have been, I’ve had my sights set on things. I’ve had my heart set on things that I couldn’t make happen and it wasn’t for lack of trying. And I became obsessed with, I know I’m in my own way, but how do I learn to navigate me?

There’s two different levels for this. and I’m going to get into both of them a little bit, but what helped me more than anything. So for years I use those other modalities and sometimes it would take me, if I worked with a client, it might take us a couple of months to even figure out what was in there.

There’d be a lot of talking. There’d be a lot of sharing. There might be a lot of crying. And we would work through stuff. But in order for me to get to the heart of it, sometimes that would take several months. And that’s just a slower process than I’m comfortable with. I like to move quickly. I want to see results fast.

And that’s what human design helps us do. Because human design, when you’re using it as a map, as a way to decode your patterns, you can start to change your day to day behavior. You can start to bring awareness to behaviors that maybe you didn’t even know that you had, but that are getting in your way because they’re unconscious.

I always assume sometimes that people know these things, but there’s a very good chance that you’re listening to this and maybe you don’t, but if you’ve been in the mindset world for a while, it’s not a new concept to say that our brain’s job is not to make us rich, powerful, have all of our hopes and dreams come true.

That’s not its job. Its job is to keep us safe. And what it does is it has some sort of limit set and it’s subconscious. We don’t know what that limit is, but that limit says it is safe for us to have this much money, this much success, this much love. These are safe levels. Stay here. Don’t go too far below them.

Don’t go too far above them because that would mean it’s unknown to us. And if it’s unknown equals danger. And danger equals death, so we don’t want to go into the unknown, even if it sounds like it could be better. So I’m making 100, 000 a year. And you continually work harder, but for some reason you can’t bump up past 100, 000.

Somehow you magically end up at that number every single year. It’s interesting, right? That’s where your thermostat is set. There’s a wonderful book called The Big Leap. Where Gay Hendricks takes you through that entire framework for what he calls your, it’s a subconscious program.

It’s like a thermostat. It is your inner limit. It is your limit. And what he calls when you bump up against that limit, alarms start to go off and you’re hitting your upper limit. It’s like the warning bells go off and then what happens is subconsciously your mind says send out the troops.

Distract them. Keep them from going in that direction that might get them to where they want to go, but is not safe to us. We have to keep the body safe. So what are we gonna do? Let’s throw a crisis into play. Let’s distract them over here. Let’s make them feel like they have no time. Let’s get them all worked up and freaked out about something that doesn’t really matter.

Just long enough, could be a couple of days, to take them out of the game to keep them at this comfortable pace. This will keep them at status quo. So when we start to understand that, when we start to understand that’s how the brain operates, then , it doesn’t matter what level you’re at, you’re dealing with this.

The difference is between you and people at different levels is their limits are set at different levels than yours are. So how does human design help us? So what human design can do is it can start to tell you, what are your stuck strategies? What are the most common shadows that you might fall into that your subconscious is going to use as its go to behavior to keep you stuck?

When I started to see this, now, obviously, there is, I want to acknowledge that there is trauma and deeper subconscious experiences that can exacerbate everything that I’m talking about, can exacerbate our shadows, that can make it harder to break the pattern. So this is where I’m going to talk about the magic of human design, but also the limitations of it, because it is a cognitive awareness program in a lot of ways.

 It’s obviously beyond that, but the way that we work or we’re taught to work with human design in its traditional frameworks is, Oh, just be aware that thing is there and then stop doing it. wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all could just stop doing the things that didn’t serve us?

Of course we work to do that, but some of us find, and I count myself in this group as well, that just wasn’t possible for me. And that was deeply troubling, frustrating, like beyond, beyond frustrating, like where I was tearing my hair out, just being like, I can’t, why can’t I overcome this?

And there was subconscious trauma that I had to deal with, small T, big T trauma, I had small T, what I consider small T trauma, some people would consider it big T, but you know, I had issues with I had issues with feeling loved, feeling accepted. I did not feel those things growing up. That wasn’t my truth.

So walking around in a world just telling myself, that wasn’t true, that wasn’t true. You are loved, you are, that wasn’t enough. I had to go deeper than that. But the day to day, and where we can figure out where that trauma might be, and how we find it, human design can really help you do that. I wanna to step away from the trauma piece because that’s going to be, so much deeper and there’s another path of work.

But what it tells us is that if you’re in the entrepreneurial game, this has to be part of your process. It has to be, or you will constantly just bump up against that glass ceiling that you have imposed on yourself. If you don’t notice those limits, if you’re not paying attention to that and starting to work with it to get past it.

And there’s two ways that we do that. We do that with the trauma work and then we do it with the awareness work. And we’re going to talk more about the awareness part today. And how you can start to use that to get to the deeper trauma, subconscious work, subconscious reprogramming, the other ways. I will say this, finding out what was in my human design chart made me look at the challenges very differently.

It wasn’t something that was wrong with me. It was something that I had that could be very right with me, was actually a gift, but I was just in a lower expression of it. That suddenly made it seem more like a game that I could play, rather than something that was fundamentally wrong with me, that I couldn’t fix.

 And when you get out of that business of trying to fix yourself, And you get into the business of playing with your energy to get it tuned just right to what you want to create and who you want to be. A much more empowering space to be in. And that’s one of the things that human design did for me.

It opened that up. And so today, , what I want to talk to you about is the two aspects, of human design. Because we can get into the whole chart. We can certainly go through all of our open centers and the shadows of our type, there’s all of that, that is valid and the deeper work.

And that’s what I do with my clients. It’s why my program is a year and, not two weeks. Because as we work, we find the different things. We start walking the path and you start finding the different shadows there. And you work on them and you’re tuning each one. It can take some time. But it has such lasting, amazing results when you do it this way, when you pair it with the subconscious work and also the awareness work.

But I want to share with you one of the areas that you can see a lot of bang for your buck in this shadow tuning business. In decoding your patterns, seeing them for what they are, and then starting to work with them and this is where Gene Keys really opened things up for me, because just the fact that Richard read the way that he, and for those of you who aren’t familiar with the gene keys, they are 64 keys of the gene keys.

They’re 64 gene keys, and they are synonymous with gates and human design. Gene keys and gates are the same. The difference is, Gene Keys is a system that Richard Rudd created. And these are his, interpretation. So if you look at the Gene Keys book, if you buy the Gene Keys book, it might be very confusing because you’re like, what do I do with this?

It’s like a big encyclopedia. It is his contemplations and his transmissions on what each of the Gates slash Gene Keys means. And what he did, which I think is what makes it so helpful. It gets you seeing how you can actually use this work as opposed to it feeling like, Oh, it’s my lot in life. I should just accept this.

Which is a little bit more in alignment with kind of the way that Ra talked about this stuff. That Richard Rudd, he gives you a frequency band for each gene key. There’s a shadow frequency. There is a gift frequency. And then there is a city frequency, which is like the high gift, the enlightened state.

And those are wonderful to cast your vision on a possibility. But we want to live in the gift. Like that’s the goal is not to live in the city. Cause I’m not Buddha. I think those are states that we, and the way he explains it is the city state is something that we touch, maybe, but we don’t live in it 24 7 because, quite frankly, none of us are going to be that enlightened all the time, probably, because we’re normal people, maybe you are, I have not gotten to the point where I’m living in the civic state of any of my gates, but how we use this and how you use this to decode your patterns and how this can be so amazingly helpful is if you look at the gates of your incarnation cross, and this is why incarnation cross is so powerful to work with, that your incarnation cross is, it’s your greater life theme.

It’s the 70 percent of your energy is going to be in these gates. So it’s a very powerful piece of you that you’re working with. Now, if we’re looking at understanding ourselves helps us to be better. If we are being better than we get to create different results, and if we create different results, then our businesses are getting more successful and our lives are getting better and we’re living in abundance.

You see how this works, right? So this is such a key. to unlocking whatever it is that you want to create in your business. It all comes back to you on some level. And then of course you have to do stuff. I never want to leave that out. You have to take some action. You do have to have systems. You have to have strategies.

It’s why I don’t teach just one piece. But this is the part that makes it sustainable or not. You don’t have all the strategy in the world, but if you, the operator, are operating, constantly battling your shadow, and constantly battling this difficulty, this challenge you’re always facing, and you’re always losing, at least for a few days, that is where you are going to constantly suffer, and you’ll find that you’re doing all the things, you’re trying really hard, but the results aren’t there.

I had a client in a call this week. One of the best compliments I could get was she had a really, she has a corporate job and she had a really hard time. She had a really difficult, challenge that she’s facing in her job. And she said on our call, she said, I have to say, I want to call this out that, a year ago, this would have taken me out.

I wouldn’t have been able to do anything, it would have been like weeks of like just battling this thing. But the work we do in here, I’m like, you know, , I dealt with it, I went into it, I processed it, and I’m like, okay, fine. And that’s the difference between somebody who’s able to create a new experience and a new result in their life versus somebody who is trapped in an old way of being who’s going to attract and create the old results that they constantly keep getting.

We break the pattern, you break the pattern of being yourself. That is how you get something new. And your incarnation cross. You get four gates in your incarnation cross. Each one of them has a shadow, a gift, and a city state. If you start to look at the shadows of those gates, those four gates, and you start to become aware of those shadows showing up in your life.

And you start to get curious about them. Remember, my line is curiosity over criticism every day, all the time. Curious, not critical. We don’t want to be critical of ourselves, but when you see a shadow come up, go, huh, wonder why I did that. That’s interesting. Oh, there it is again. Hmm. What are we doing there?

I wonder if there’s something I could do to change that. I wonder if there’s something I could shift in me. Maybe I’m doing it right now just by looking at it differently. You can start to change that pattern by having that line of questioning. And when you start to not live in the shadow and start to live in the gift, you will start to see your life change.

Now, fun exercise that you can do. Look at the shadows of the gates of your incarnation cross. Get the Jean Keys book, look up the shadows, read the shadow, and then think about how has that shadow been present my whole life? How have I been battling that shadow in some way, shape, or form my whole life?

Look at it. It’s right there in front of you. And you can start to decode all the challenges that you’ve had through that exercise. You’re welcome. I can’t tell you the level of growth I had just going through this and I work with my clients on this all the time. This is the shadow pattern and if you can break it, if you can see it, if you can be aware of it, then you can change it and if you can change it, then you’re living in your gifts and then you’re attracting people with your gifts.

That’s how we work with this. So I hope you found this helpful. We do have, oh I didn’t even mention it. I I got so wrapped up in this. We do have a new business by design ebook. So we have a new, build your business by human design guide. And all you have to do is DM me the word ebook on Instagram.

I’m at NicoleLainoOfficial and you can get it there. Or go to the show notes and grab the link and you can go straight to the website and download it there if that’s what you prefer. But this is a free guide that we’ve made for you. Basically the whole process of all the pieces that it takes to build your business according to your human design.

What does it take? The strategy and the energy. If you want that, please go and get that. It’s a totally free guide It’s our gift to you. Thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you as always. And remember, in order to have an unshakable business, you must first become an unshakable human. So thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with human design, everybody.

We will see you next time.