Hello and welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, everyone. I’m your host, Nicole Laino. And today, we’re together to talk about emotional authorities. I have several emotional authorities inside my business by design mentorship. I also have been working with a lot of emotional authorities in private, in readings, and these themes have been coming up. I feel like there’s a message to be delivered. So that’s usually a cue for me to bring it to y’all.

So first of all, 50 percent of the world is emotional. So that tells you something about how many people are dealing with these issues. But there is so much conditioning that happens with being emotional. And you are an emotional authority, first of all, if you have a defined solar plexus. If your solar plexus is defined, you’re automatically going to be an emotional authority. What that means is that your emotions are happening all the time.

There’s a wave pattern. There is an emotional wave that you are always surfing. All the time. It never stops. Now, some of us have a more erratic wave. Some of us have multiple waves. I know people that have all the waves activated in their human design chart.

So life can feel pretty chaotic. And what I’ve noticed is that there’s this general sense of, I feel like I’m crazy. And the other piece is that you feel inconsistent. Because truthfully, you are. You’re not consistent. The only consistency is that you experience emotions all the time.

Whereas our counterparts, people who have an open solar plexus don’t have that constant up down, as Ra put it, a wave that goes from hope to pain and back again, they’re not on that same ride, so we appear kind of crazy to them.

Also we can feel very exciting. We can feel really passionate because there’s emotion in everything that we do. There is power in being an emotional authority. And there are so many people that don’t see it that way. There’s power in emotionality. So if you have Gate 36 as your conscious sun, you might have a bit of this emotional charge to the things that you do, but you’re not going to work on the wave like those of us who have the solar plexus defined.

But this inconsistency, this feeling crazy, can lead to us feeling like people move faster than us. That we have to work harder, that we take a few steps forward only to take a couple steps back. That is how life can feel for us.

And there’s different paths that you can go down. But what results from that feeling, from that experience is you either feel like you’re a failure because things take so long, and you start to develop a story of, I have anxiety, I can’t make these things happen, everything takes so long, I’m never gonna make it. That can be a real, constant, debilitating story that people adopt.

And we all have different levels of taking in a story like that. I had sort of a low grade version of that. And I’m gonna talk about how I dealt with that. Cause this is how the achievers deal with this. We push hard. It takes me longer. I’ve got all of this stuff going on. I feel a little bit like a failure.

Okay, I’m just going to push and keep going. And we don’t honor the emotional system that we have going on. We don’t honor the emotional process. And what that leads to is a jacked up nervous system. That leads to a nervous system that is constantly a little bit on edge where you might be fighting your fight, flight, freeze response all the time. And you do it by pushing yourself harder, by staying in action. I’m looking at you, emotional manifesting generators and generators. We are the biggest culprits of this because we have so much energy. And then when you add that emotional power, the solar plexus is a motor.

Emotions have energy. They have power. So we add that with the sacral power, and soon enough you find us just running a million miles per hour in the wrong direction, just trying to get past. And then we have breakdowns. We have moments where we just feel like, I don’t know if I can keep this up. It’s not sustainable, it’s not healthy, and that is not how we deal with it.

So here’s what I need emotional authorities to know. That feeling of feeling crazy is what’s making you crazy. If you’re constantly putting attention on the fact that you are emotional all the time and you feel at its mercy and you are thinking about it and pouring energy into trying to understand it.

Trying to control it, trying to make it go away. It will have the opposite effect. This is what will make you more crazy. That’s where you get into your energy that I’m never okay. I got to get a handle on this. Creates a lot of nervousness in your system.

You become a high anxiety person because life feels out of control. So this is where my advice, and what I recommend, and what I coach people through outside of dealing with your emotions and dumping your emotional baggage and working through it by processing it. I use EFT. That’s the drug of choice that I use to process emotions, but in the absence of that, can you surrender to the fact that you will never have control over your emotions? Now surrender is a harder thing to do than it sounds like, but can you just make a practice of catching yourself when you go to try to fix them? I don’t feel good right now, what can I do to feel better?

I feel unmotivated. Oh my God. I got to get into action. You start to develop a story. I don’t feel motivated. I’ve got so much to do. I’ve got to do it now. How am I going to do this? Oh, this is so hard. That inner battle that you’re having. Can you start to notice it? Can you start to see it at work and say, I’m not going to take the bait and do what I always do.

What could I do right now? What if I relax? What if I asked myself, do I really need to do this right now? What would happen if you leaned back in that moment, and allowed yourself to be emotional? Because more often than not, emotional authorities are telling themselves it’s not good to be emotional, so you’re suppressing it. And that only makes it stronger.

That only makes it worse. And then you try to get a handle on it more. And then do you see how this becomes a circular pattern of trying to get a handle on something you cannot get a handle on. And really in the moments that you feel better, it’s not because you did something great, usually, it’s just a new point in your wave. So you feel better than you did before, which is why we wait.

So that brings me to my second thing. The strategy for an emotional authority, for decision making is to wait. But there is a fair amount of waiting that goes on in an emotional authority’s life. And we’re often not comfortable with the waiting. I remember when someone told me that I had to wait when I first started doing this work. I thought I was going to die. I was like, I’m an entrepreneur. I need to make money. I need to grow. I need to do this. I can’t wait. But waiting creates calm in your frequency.

So, wait. And you’ll find that waiting does not have a negative effect on your business. Waiting does not have a negative effect on your life. You’ll find that waiting is your best friend. I love telling people to wait now. I love waiting. And as a result of the cumulative effect of waiting and practicing this over many years now.

The cumulative effect of waiting as an emotional authority becomes that you don’t have to wait as long before you feel good moving again. This is where those severe ups and downs, where you’re fighting your anxiety, you’re pushing through and then you collapse. Because you feel so emotional that it had nowhere to go, that it takes you over. And this is where you have to tap out. You become less productive overall, because no matter how hard you ran for the two weeks that you pushed through you have a hard crash at the end. Because you ran yourself down. Emotional authorities you will run yourself down, when you are not honoring the wave, and you’re not honoring your emotions. You gotta get comfy with them.

You gotta get cozy with those emotions. You have to allow them to be there. They are your best friend. You have depth. You have passion. We are the passion in the world. I got news for you. I used to look at the open solar plexus people and be like, that looks like that would be easier. And while it may be easier, We bring the passion into this world.

Without emotional beings like ourselves, there is no art. There is no love. There is no passion. There is no excitement. We are the juice in that fruit. We get to be that. But what we want to be, is we want to be a clean emotional frequency. And we send that out when we are allowing ourselves to be who we are, which is the essence of human design, is being who you are.

Especially the things that we think are inconvenient. That’s usually where our work starts. If you’re an emotional authority and you’re wishing you weren’t, then you should probably do the work there to start out with.

I had done a lot of emotional work. I had done the dumping my emotional baggage. I had been doing my EFT work. I had been certified in EFT for quite a while by the time I really started diving into human design. I was doing it alongside of it. But I was processing my emotions. I was working through my emotional stuff. So I had done that work and then it just became, can I recognize that, can I get comfortable waiting?

Really the key is get comfortable waiting. Those moments in between have something to offer you. That you will have much more power and much more consistency in your life. When you are honoring the wave and allowing yourself those moments in between, so those moments don’t have to be weeks and months in between.

This is how you can create consistency in your energy. When you feel emotional, go let yourself be emotional. But so many people have shame around being emotional. They were told that being emotional was not good. They were told that being emotional maybe was manipulative, or being emotional was inconvenient, or that they were crazy.

And one of the beautiful things about human design is that it shows us that there was nothing wrong with us all along. That somebody else maybe didn’t get it. Maybe we didn’t get it. This is what conditioning is, we were looking at the outside world, saying, that looks better, that looks more desirable, or we heard feedback saying, you should be this other way, that you’re not.

You’re being who you are. I don’t like it. It’s inconvenient for me. It makes me feel bad, so you should change. And we hear that, we feel that, and we try to change. And then we took a part of ourselves that was truth, a part of ourselves that was our power and our potential, and we turned it into a shadow.

Because now, we’re trying to put the genie back in the bottle. We’re trying to push a part of us into the shadows. And then it becomes a shadow. So you’ve got to bring it all into the light. You’ve got to say, I’m an emotional being, and this wasn’t by accident. This is something I’m here to master. This is something that I am here to be.

How can I be that? And what do I have to offer from this space? And the other thing that you need to know as an emotional authority is that you won’t be consistent. So please stop trying to be. Let it go. Accept your emotions, and don’t just accept them, embrace them. When you cry, it’s powerful.

It’s therapeutic. There’s a message in those tears. Are you listening? You can’t listen when you’re wishing that you could stop. You can’t have the realization if you’re wishing the moment would end. You gotta sit in it. You’ve got to see it. You’ve got to look at it. You have to be brave enough to be different and to be proud of being different.

Creativity comes from emotions. Comes from passion. Learn to channel it. So many people have told me recently that coming to terms with their emotionality, whether they’re an emotional authority, or they just have really emotional gates prominent in their design, that they have been shaming themselves for wishing were different for a long time.

And now that they’re seeing it as a potential, as strength, seeing it differently, which is my hope with this episode, that you’re seeing it differently. If you’ve got emotionality playing a big role in your business, in your life, in your chart, then it’s meant to be there. Don’t try to cast it out, because all you’re doing is you’re cutting off a limb.

You’re handicapping yourself. Won’t help. There are two people in my Business by Design mentorship that have really prominent incarnation crosses where emotions are such a huge, huge piece of it. And them coming to terms with that, getting really, just really grounded in the fact that emotions for them, they are a reality, and there’s something that they have to offer through their emotions.

But they cannot do that if they’re wishing they weren’t there. One of those people is an emotional authority and one is not. But it’s still about acceptance. My goal is that every single person listening to this show, or in my world, in any way, that I’m showing you how to use human design to love the shit out of yourself, just as you are, just as you were designed.

Because when you do that, you live your potential and not your shadows. You start to become aligned with your purpose by accepting yourself. Because when we accept ourselves, we stop trying to be something we’re not. When we stop trying to be something we’re not, we are free to be everything that we are.

And when we are, our gifts shine. And that’s where the power is. So many people are trying to figure out the puzzle, crack the code on human design. It’s about radical acceptance of all the pieces of who you are, all those pieces. It’s about accepting them, seeing them, and having an honest assessment of where you are with them.

Are you in the shadow with it? Are you dipping into that side of the spectrum? Or are you in the gift? And can you look at all of these aspects with curiosity, not criticism, and accept them as integral parts of leading you to your purpose? They are assistants on that journey. Don’t leave them behind.

And if you’re an emotional authority, this is a huge part of your design. And if you’re not riding the wave, it’ll knock you down time and time again. Don’t let it do that. You do that by slipping a board under your feet and saying, we’re going to do this together, me, the board, and the wave.

Through the contemplation, through the work that you do, you can start to surf this wave. I hope this helped. I hope you enjoyed this. I hope that this helped you feel more aligned and more connected to your emotions in a positive way, no matter what your design is. So if you have prominent emotional gates or if you are an emotional authority, I hope that this made you feel like being you was the key and not to suppress any part of who you are. And that your emotions can be your power.

So, we have a deconditioning guide.

If you guys haven’t downloaded it yet, this is a great guide. If you go to nicolelaino.com/decondition, you can grab it there. Or just DM me the word decondition on Instagram. I’m @NicoleLainoOfficial. We’ll send you the guide. This is a really comprehensive guide on how to decondition all of your nine centers.

That includes the solar plexus. So I have all of that there. And if you want a deeper dive into deconditioning. I did mention EFT here, so I will mention it again.

If you go to nicolelaino.com/tapping or DM me the word tapping on Instagram, we will send you the link for the mini deconditioning library.

This is if you want to go deeper into deconditioning your type and your profile, and the fear gates of the spleen. This is a paid offer though. So I want to make that very clear. This is not a free thing. This is just something that I mentioned here. So I thought it was worth mentioning here on the show.

All right. Well, that’s it. Thank you so much for being here. As always, I appreciate you. And remember, in order to have an unshakeable business, you must first become an unshakeable human. So thanks for letting us help you become unshakeable with human design, everybody. We’ll see you next time.