Episode 471:


Hello, and welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design. I’m your host, Nicole Laino, and it’s just you and me today, and we are going to talk today about a question that I get all the time. I get a version of this question on almost every clarity call during every reading, and comes to me at times when I notice that people have been digging into their human design for a while and they’re intrigued. But inevitably, it comes to, what do I do with this? What do I do with it now? 

And even though I’ve talked about this for years, I’ve been doing this show, and so many people come to me from the show. That’s what they say to me when they’ll book a reading and they’ll come in. They’ll be like, okay, well, you know, I really want to know what to do with it. I want to know how to use it. And this is such a fundamental thing that I want to talk about, because we’re going to get into the nuances of this in this episode, because I wish there were one process that I could say, here’s how you do it, but it’s very individual to each person’s chart, and there’s going to be a way that you use it, and there’s going to be a different way that I use it. 

Even if you’re a manifesting generator, even if you’re another emotional manifesting generator, you’re going to have some similarities, but there’s going to be some differences. You also have a different lived experience. So in this episode, I’m going to kind of break down what I see, and how do we overcome this? And if you are a Human Design reader or you aspire to be one, you know, how do you actually walk people through this? Because I will say I’m very proud of the fact that when I follow up with people after their reading, they want to go deeper, but they do know what to do. They do have marching orders. But I’ll tell you what the catch is about that during the episode, because there’s a little bit of a catch there. 

It’s like, even though we give them the process, it’s like, why aren’t they doing it? Why doesn’t it stick Always. And again, depends on the person, depends on how long have they had this information and this system in their lives, this knowledge. All of that comes into play, right, because it’s. You know, a lot of people fall into memorizing the gates or thinking they need to memorize the gates and quoting the framework and, you know, strategy and authority and all these things are important. And a lot of people, you know, will think that, like, well, I need to memorize all the gates, and then I can do readings, and then I can really guide people. It’s actually, those things are important. You want to know what the chart is saying. But it’s not so much a memorization of a gate. 

I occasionally have to look up. I don’t look up the meanings. I know what they all mean at this point. But there are times where I’m like, I don’t remember what the exact Gene Keys shadow is of Gate four. You know, I’ve got to look that up. Like, what’s the shadow of that? I’ll have an idea. I know what it means. But if I want to give somebody the exact word of the shadow, the gift, and the city of the Gene Keys expression, I might have to look that up. Years ago, I would have been embarrassed to do that. I wouldn’t have let anybody know, but I would be like, oh, I’m just gonna look that up. I don’t remember exactly what that is, because it’s not about that. It’s about what you do with it. There’s so much more happening underneath those definitions. 

It’s not the definitions. It’s what you can see underneath all of it, how it’s all working together. And, you know, so people get really preoccupied with memorizing all of this stuff, knowing it all, and then waiting for, like, the universe to rearrange itself around the information and deliver the potential that somebody told her or she read was in her chart. It’s all just potential, and it’s all on a spectrum of things. So it’s about finding yourself and seeing where you are in your journey. Where are you in relationship to these themes in your chart, what feels true to you, what feels off, what feels like you are on the money and you’re on the path with that. So so many people will tell you that they found a different path to that exact gift, and that’s how it works. 

Human design isn’t the only path that you can take to enlightenment and to alignment. I think it’s the most direct one, if you haven’t found it already. But some people Are have been, you know, studying shamanism and working with their shadows for a long time. And they’ve. They’ve done energy work and all of this stuff where they’ve gotten certified in all these other things, and they’ve found their way to a lot of their gifts. You know, my joke is always like the Finding Nemo quote. It’s like, all drains flow to the ocean. It’s like, if you’re doing this work, you will probably stumble upon these things. But the chart gives you a way of not having to stumble around and, you know, fumble in the dark looking for them or trying to figure them out. 

I think it takes a lot longer to do it that way. I started that way. I started without human design, and I got somewhere, but I really got to the core of who I am. And to that, you know, what I call the unshakable place, which is, you know, really being able to withstand anything and trust deeply in my own process. I got that from human design. I got that from exploring myself through the lens of my design. And I think that’s where the deeper work comes from. And if you haven’t done the deeper work, then it’s the best place to start because it will show you exactly where you need to start. Right? Because there’s a very big difference between knowing the chart and living by it. And that difference, if you get a reading, it starts with a reader. 

It starts with the person who’s delivering that reading and explaining it to you. So if you are that reader, I know there are a lot of human design professionals who listen to this show. And if you’re one of them, just something for you to know, because I have a lot of people join business by design that are Human design certified. I have people all around my world that come to me. I have people who are human design certified who buy readings from me on a regular basis. I have people coming to me like, yeah, I studied human design, and they still don’t really get it. And the difference between the reading that I give and the reading that somebody else gave them or the certification that somebody else gave them is a lot of those things deliver information. 

And if you deliver information to the client, it will go straight to their head. That’s where it lives, right? Information will be in their head. And if it’s in their head, then they’re thinking about it, which is the actual opposite, the exact opposite thing that human design is supposed to have people do. The whole goal of human design is to take you out of your mind, take the Power away from your mind and put it in your body. Why? Because the way that you’ve lived your entire life that has had you in alignment with your conditioning, that pulls you away from who you truly are is because you have this way of thinking. Your belief system all exists in your mind. 

Every decision that you’ve made has come from your mind up until now, unless you’ve consciously made a choice to change it and move from your body. And then there’s varying degrees of how good we are at that. I did a reading for somebody the other day. She has totally trained herself to follow her body and she teaches intuition and she’s a channeler. So we had a very different conversation than I have with somebody who doesn’t do any of this work. She’s already found her way to making those decisions from her body. But it gave her some clarification and it gave her some confirmation of some of the things that she was still kind of wrestling with and some permission to let some things go. So we don’t want to put people back in their heads. 

Because if you’re not like that client and you are thinking your way through life and that’s what’s gotten you here, well, that’s what’s gotten you here. It won’t get you there. It won’t get you to the enlightened state that you’re after. It won’t get to the alignment that you’re looking for because it’s something else that will have to guide you there. You will have to make decisions differently. It’s so funny. I’ve always said people in the personal development world a lot of times will know that their beliefs need to change in order for them to get something new. They’ll rewrite their money beliefs. They will rewrite their success beliefs. They will rewrite their beliefs about love. We all know that if we have a belief about something, it influences the decisions that we make, right? Because it’s that belief that’s the filter, right? 

Our mind is the filter that we pass all of these decisions through when we think about them, right? So if I get a decision that comes to me, comes into my experience and then I’m like, I’m going to think about this. That is going to then go into my mind and it’s going to be put through the committee of all of the beliefs that I have about that. Now I might be really good at beliefs and I might be good at catching some of those beliefs. But until I can really become, you have to be very self aware to Catch all of them. I even get stuck in things like I have beliefs now are deeper levels that we have to all of this stuff. But. 

And I can share a little bit of a story behind that of even somebody who does this for a living and who has done so much personal development work and so much clearing work. And it’s part of my daily practice. There’s still new level, new devil. And the way that I approach that and the way that I overcome it is if I know that I’m still bumping up against an edge that I’m not able to cross, I feel that in my body, I might be able to rationalize it. In my mind, I might be able to say. Because my mind does say, you’re over that. And it’s so interesting because I know on a deep level, it’s like, no, you’re not. You’re clearly not. Look at the behavior, look at what’s happening. You’re not doing the things, Nicole, that feel right. 

So how do I know that I’m not doing the things that feel right? Well, I’m getting sacral yeses and I’m getting sacral nose and are not following them. I’m not able to do it. I’m not able to bring myself to do it. That’s how I know that I am out of alignment, that those beliefs are not quite as clear as I thought they were. So what do I have to do? I have to do the thing that is the sacral yes. Even if it doesn’t make sense, even if it is scary as hell to overcome it. I’m doing that as we speak. I’ve just made some moves that were very scary, that were very much on my edge and very much in alignment with facing this belief head on. 

I did that by following my process, waiting for my emotional authority, following my sacral, you know, waiting out that emotional wave and to know what that feels like in my body, to know what a real yes feels like in my body. It was a yes from the sacral. And then I wait because it was a big decision and I waited and I sat with it until I got to a point where it just like, this is what I have to do. There’s such a. For all the emotional authorities, I hope you stick with this long enough to know what that really feels like in your body. And this is a big thing about, you know, now what do I actually do with this? You know, that’s the whole point of this episode. Now. What do I actually do with this? 

I got a reading now what do I do? I’ve been studying my human design. Now what do I do? You have to stick with it long enough, and you have to commit to it long enough. And I will say that my. For my own process, my commitment to it, where I was a student not of human design. I was a student of myself. I was a student of human behavior, which, truthfully, I think I have always been. I think that’s why I was an actor. I think that’s why, you know, like, that was what I did. Acting is just the study of human behavior and then becoming the human that behaves that way as your character. My favorite part of being an actor. So it’s so interesting how seemingly different jobs have ultimately the same job description and pathway to excel at it, right? 

So I became a student of myself. I became a student of human behavior. I became through the lens of human design. And it was that commitment to it. It was that real conscious effort, but it was consistency with it. I didn’t sometimes experiment with it. It was something I committed to on a daily basis. Like, I was just always bringing myself back to it, either through study or experimentation or through reading charts for people or reading charts just by myself. I immersed in it through certifications, through courses. This is why people in business by design change so much, because they’re immersed in it for a year with me, and they’re being coached by it, and I’m reminding them the whole time. Come back to this. I told a story on my substack about a client who is a four line. 

And, you know, we forget these things. We forget some of these things about our design if they’re not, you know, front and center. That’s what somebody like a guide like me comes in to do is to remind you when we’re working in a coaching relationship, you know, I looked at. She does everything right. She’s amazing. She’s super professional. She’s very knowledgeable. She’s just awesome at what she does. Her content wasn’t landing her. There were certain things that were just like, they checked all the boxes for being very well done, very professional, highly valuable. All of those things. What they weren’t was they weren’t personal. And I went back and I looked at it, and I was like, I’d love to see more of you in here. Because I think that is what’s missing. 

You’re a four, and four lines need to have a personal connection to people. Even when it’s an impersonal platform like someone substack or a podcast or social media. You know, the goal is to get people to know you, to see you. And then if you can’t do those things and this is where the rubber meets the road. This is. When you say, like, now, what do I do with this? Your job is to say so. There’s a set of. I don’t like the term rules, but there’s guidelines, right? I’m a manifesting generator. There’s certain guidelines to that. I’m going to pay attention to how I feel about things. I’m going to. I am going to notice what lights me up. I’m going to notice when I feel frustrated. These are the signposts, right? And then when those signposts come up. 

So like I said, I was not doing the things that lit me up. I wasn’t doing the things that really made me excited, that were really pulling me. Why? Because I was scared. Why? Because old wounds started to come up, yet they feel like they’re healing right now, which is very interesting with some of my astrology that’s going on. But I made a move and I said, I’m going to do it anyway. Even though I’m afraid, it’s a yes. And I have to listen to the yes. I have to do the thing even though it scares me. Now, if I weren’t able to do the thing, so if I were so scared that I couldn’t take action, then that is a sign I need to decondition. That is a sign that I have wounding. 

That is deeper than my intellectual knowledge will allow me to move past. So even though I want to do something, there’s something internally in me that is holding me back. And that’s where deconditioning work comes in. So it is a framework that you have to observe yourself through. And if you are a professional in this space and you are guiding people, then you have to be looking at their framework the whole time and noticing where they are or not in alignment with this stuff and use it as clues. Now, it’s not to say that, you know, you don’t get dogmatic about it, you’re a force. So you have to do it like this. No, but notice if things aren’t working, I was, if. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. If it’s working, it feels good, you’re lit up. 

If you’ve got a generator client who’s doing it their way and it’s just firing off on all cylinders and they are wildly happy and lit up, it’s like, don’t touch a Thing. You’re good. Okay. I’m just gonna be watching for other things that come up. Are there ways that we can enhance this? But if they’re not, then, you know, those rules come in, those guidelines come in, and we start to look at it, and we start to ask some better questions. Because if I didn’t know human design, I would have looked at that client’s content, and I would have been like, looks great. Yeah. No, everything looks great. I have no answers for you. I have no thoughts for you. And then that opens up another line of questioning. We can go deeper into that. Okay. Why are you resistant to that? 

Why doesn’t that feel easy for you? Because, quite frankly, for fours, it should feel easy to do the things that fours do. Connecting with people should feel easy. If it doesn’t, then that says there’s something maybe deeper. Fives like me. It should be easy for you to hop on a big platform and talk at people that probably will feel very naturally natural for you. And if it doesn’t, then maybe there’s a little something there for you to look into. Maybe there are some of the five line conditioning of the projection field. It gives you clues as to where to look for the gold and the blocks and the little hurdles that people face. They’re different for every person. And when you know this stuff, you can start to see why people are stuck and you can move them faster. 

It’s not magic, but it feels that way because it allows you to see that person in that individual and not just like, well, this is what I would do. Because, truthfully, if I were looking at that client, she was doing it like me. I was like, this is really good. This would be great content for my page. This would be a great style for my stuff. And it doesn’t mean she can’t do that. I just want her to try and experiment with some other things. We have that with my clients all the time. They’re so focused. The fours get so focused on these, like, big platforms, and then I’m like, why don’t you go just, like, reach out to some people and say, hello. We had that with another four line client, and these are just the ones I see results with so fast. 

I tend to talk about fours a lot. Threes. It’ll be experimenting. Go tell people, like, how you broke everything. Tell everybody how you got here. You know, like, that’s part of it. There are just these little clues about what will help you. And that other four line client, I told her, I’m like, you know, go reach out to a few people. She did. And she got all of these opportunities just from doing that one action that I gave her. I’m not a magician. I just know what her way is. And it doesn’t mean that these other things can’t work for people. It’s not closing doors for you. It’s just saying there is a clear path this way that you’re choosing not to take, and that’s your path. So why don’t you try going that way? Why don’t you try the path of least resistance? 

Why don’t you give it a shot? Right? So all of this to say is that knowing how to guide people and guide yourself based on who you are, not who a coach is, or some other framework you learned for, like, taking everybody through the same thing as I think the time for cookie cutter strategies is officially over. I don’t see them working. I see a lot of people who maybe they worked for before, and suddenly now they’re at a place where it doesn’t feel like it fits anymore. Those same frameworks that were just like, oh, yeah, here’s the three steps that everybody goes through. You think like this. Those are interesting. 

But to go where we’re going with the shifts that are happening as far as, like, the energetic shifts and the changes that are happening across humanity, it’s systems like this that tune you into you that are not just beneficial to you, they’re beneficial to everyone. Because it’s literally raising the vibration of this world. We’re changing the aura of people one person at a time, one correct action at a time. That’s a great public service. And if you are a coach or you want to guide people or you’re looking to guide people or. Or you do already. We actually have something called the Coach’s Guide to Human Design that is available, which is if you are a coach or if you’re just guiding people on their life. So maybe you’re a parent and you want to guide your kids. 

This is a free guide that we put together. It’s how I think about type and how I think about guiding people. So it’s a little bit different than some of the directions that you’ll get from, like, a textbook. We’re really looking at it from an experiential lens. How do we really see these things in people and how do we guide them to what is correct for them? So if you want that guide, just go to nicolelaino.com/coach and you can download it there, or you can DM me the word “COACH” on Instagram. I’m @nicolelainoofficial and you can download it right there from the DMs. We will take care of you there. Thank you so much for being here. I think we’ll wrap this one up. I hope that you enjoyed this. 

To download a copy of Nicole’s Free Guide – The Coaches Guide to Human Design DM her “COACH” on Instagram or go to nicolelaino.com/COACH 

I hope you have an understanding of how you begin to use this, that it is a framework that you are working your life through or you’re working your clients lives through, that you are. It’s not one size fits all. There might be a different path for each person, but how you use it is to start to notice where am I not following the framework, where am I not allowing myself to. Or I know what to do, but I’m not doing it. So there’s deeper work for me to do. It’s a map that you follow, and if you can’t follow the map, then you have to question the vehicle that you’re in and see if maybe something needs to be tuned up in order for you to continue on your journey. 

That’s how we use this and that’s why it’s such a powerful tool, because it is completely customized to every single person. No two are alike. Okay, thank you so much for being here. Remember, in order to have an unshakable business, you must first become an unshakable human. So thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with Human Design. We’ll see you next time.