Nicole Laino (00:30)
Hello and welcome to Unshakable with Human Design. I’m your host, Nicole Laino and it’s just the two of us today. And today I want to talk about being a powerful woman. An intelligent woman. And I have been sitting with so many powerful, intelligent women. I mean, I always am. There are so many people in BBD that I love and admire so much. I’m in awe of these women every single day. But lately I have been doing

Clarity calls for business by design. I have been sitting down with people who are considering joining the program. We have been in the master class, so we’ve had some QA and comments coming in there. People have responded to our emails. We just have a lot of outreach going out right now. So I’m having more conversations than I do on a normal Tuesday. But what I’m noticing, and what I want to talk about in this episode, is why.

So many powerful, intelligent women right now are feeling pulled between two worlds. And as a result, if they don’t get out of that space, they will stay right where they are. They will stall here, a lot of them. And there’s kind of this common theme that I see coming up with people right now. And this is even in the conversations that I’ve had at events that I have been at.

And with friends of mine, that so many people desperately want to leap. They want to take a leap. They feel like they are in this space of kind of launching themselves into this next level, this next era. And these women have taken leaps before, but this time it feels scarier. Now we’ve talked a lot on this show about the 2027 change, that we’re entering into a new era.

And if you need those episodes, we will link them up in the show notes for you. I have talked at length about the 2027 change and what all of that is. And I’m sort of dubbing this the new era, the new paradigm that we are jumping into and how things are going to change. And I think that this all feels so scary a little bit because obviously the cross of planning was about structures, it was about hierarchy, it was

really about systems making us feel safe. And many of us are used to these systems and structures making us feel safe. So even when we break out of them, like I was in corporate for years and I’ve been out of it for years. But I can still go back to like you know, a system makes me feel safe. A structure makes me feel safe. I don’t do it so much anymore. it’s funny because I used to think, well, well, you know, I could always go back to corporate.

That doesn’t even enter my experience or my energy anymore. It’s not an option. I am not available for that. But sometimes the system, sometimes a tactic feels really good, feels really safe, feels so orderly, and like there’s no squishy gray area. It’s so black and white. I’ll just follow the steps and it’ll all work out.

And I’ll buy into this person’s program, and then they’re gonna teach me the thing, and then that thing is gonna make all of my problems go away. That feels so nice and so orderly, but it’s not where we’re going, which is why this feels really scary. And I think it’s why everybody feels so called to something different right now. This has been a very interesting masterclass that we did because I

teach.

in this very structured way of the five-day masterclass. And it while I love teaching and while I love going through all that I go through, a lot of people were asking me questions. They’re like, well, I don’t know if I need all of this, or you know, this seems like a really structured program. And it’s very funny because BBD is not. It’s not a structured program. The masterclass is because it’s limited in its format, but

I realized as I was doing it, I’m like, it’s actually giving the wrong impression of what it’s like to work in my world and what we focus on. Because we’re looking for something different. But it’s funny, we don’t trust something different. We don’t trust the opening and the energetics and the personal power and these themes of the cross of the sleeping phoenix, where we’re all going to be in 2027. These themes of personal power, these themes of authentic self-expression.

These themes of true honesty with ourselves and who we are and with other people, this feeling of abundance being something more than material gain, that our frequency might hold more of a key to our abundance, our alignment might hold more of a key to our abundance than whether we follow the plan, whether we follow the system, whether we are plugged into the correct hierarchy or not.

That’s a leap because it’s requiring us trust in something that we’ve never had to trust in before or we’ve never had to fully trust in before. But I feel like this is sort of the unspoken conversation that a lot of people are having. It’s it’s this thing nagging at them. And especially if you feel like you are a new era leader, that you are somebody who holds something for other people in this new iteration of the human experience.

This new evolution that we’re going into, then it feels especially sticky here because you’re like, it’s requiring me to trust something I haven’t trusted before. And so in this episode, I’m gonna break down kind of five things that I see holding these powerful, intelligent women back. I’m gonna tell you about the one belief that runs underneath all of them. And then I’m gonna talk to you a little bit about how human design plays a role.

In breaking these patterns and how it can lead us through into this next era as individuals and then also as a collective. Okay? So before I get started, I do want to let you know that business by design, our doors are open. And if you are interested in joining the program or finding out more about it, and you’d like to book a clarity call with me to find out if it is correct for you.

If getting the type of mentorship we’re gonna talk about in this episode, about being able to work through some of these issues and step into the next version of you that is the new era leader, then please book a clarity call with me. Just DM me the word clarity on Instagram. I’m at Nicole Laino official or go to Nicole Lano.com forward slash clarity and you can book it there. We’ll also have a link for information on business by design if you just wanna check out the sales page and everything like that. That will be linked up in the show notes for you. Okay.

So let’s get started with these five things that I see holding women back. one of the biggest things is that they don’t ask for help. And on some level, they believe that that is strength. Now I want you to recognize as well before I get into this whole thing, I have had every single one of these things on the list. I have gone through all of them. This is my stuff too, or it was. So there is no shame in the game. I’m calling you up.

not out, but because I have been there, I can see it pretty accurately. But they won’t ask for help. They have a I will do it myself mentality. yet they also know that they’re kind of hurting themselves with that mentality, but they feel like there’s no way out. This idea that we are somehow living in a binary universe of us

either being able to do something or not, like my life won’t allow it, is in and of itself is conditioning. It is something that is not true. There are often so many more options on the table, but it’s the conditioning that is causing us to stay stuck.

It’s the conditioning that makes us feel like there are no other options. So we have all of these stories and ideas that we tell ourselves, and it’s those stories that are causing you to stay where you are and not grow beyond them and remain plateaued at the spot that you’re at. The idea, you know, an example that I can give is I’ve had so many clients that work a corporate job.

And they’re a generator or a manifesting generator. I’ll use manifesting generators as the example here, because they can tend to get way more restless than a generator. Generators get frustrated, don’t get me wrong. But manifesting generators, there’s like a there’s such an inner fight with them because they so desperately want to do what feels good. And they tend to get just they have a little bit more

I don’t want to say power like generators aren’t powerful, but they have more forcefulness and they get pissed is basically what I what I’m trying to say. Generators won’t necessarily get angry about it, and manifesting generators will. We will resent. We will get pissed sometimes at ourselves, sometimes at other people. It really depends on the person. And again, I I did all of this. I was super resentful of the things that got in the way of me.

living the life that I wanted to live, which usually had to do with doing the things that I want to do because that’s what the sacral is doing. The sacral is either moving and making you feel good because it’s doing things that it’s excited about, or it is frustrated and it is making your life miserable and everything feels bad and everything feels off. Generators will just feel frustrated and they’re they’re just nicer about it usually and manifesting generators, not all of them, but certainly me, I was bitchy.

And I allowed that to just kind of be the way because it was like, well, I can’t do this because I have to do this and I have to do that and I have all these other obligations. Not even seeing for a moment that those obligations were optional, not required, not nearly as many of them were.

The second thing that keeps these powerful women stuck or plateaued is they are giving away their personal power. They’re giving away their power, they’re giving it to tasks and things that don’t actually feel good to them. They are not channeling their energy.

into the things that feel right for them. Now human design is really built to demolish this exact pattern. and it and it doesn’t feel like self-abandoning. That’s the that’s the funny thing. Because when you’re really powerful and you’re really productive and you’re really smart and you can get a lot of things done, it doesn’t feel like you’re giving your power away. It doesn’t feel like that because

You’re pretty good at compartmentalizing it. But when you’re not channeling your energy into your own purpose, it takes away so much from you. You’re avoiding. So human design is built to break this pattern because it’s bringing you back to your authority. It’s the mind that will tell you that you have to do everything else. It’s your mind that is going to.

tell you that you have to do all of these things for everyone else. Meanwhile, that’s not always coming back to you. And this goes back to number one. Sometimes it’s as simple as asking. Sometimes it’s as simple as saying to somebody, I need help.

But when I talk to you about the belief that’s underneath all of this, I’ll show you how that is keeping you from asking for that help or channeling your personal power into the things that feel right for you. And human design has such an interesting way of helping us relate to ourselves. When we start to notice that we’re in frustration, it’s drawing attention to the fact that this isn’t right.

And if we’re at least open to the idea that if it’s not right, there must be a way to make it right. There must be a way for me to be satisfied and not completely abandon everyone I love. There must be a way for me to feel successful and not feel like I need to do everything for the people around me.

There must be a way for me to feel at peace.

without feeling like I have to overgive to every single client, even if they’re not paying me very much, even if I don’t really love the work.

We have to start seeing things differently. And this is, you know, that famous saying it’s hard to read the label from inside the bottle. This is where having somebody to hold you accountable and keep you honest to what’s in front of you starts to change the way that you see your options, starts to change the way that you see the world and your life. Now the third thing that I see come up is they are often

Collecting instead of committing. I did this, I collected a lot of certifications and programs and other things like learning. I’m learning, I’m learning, I’m learning, I’m getting ready. And I tell myself I’m getting ready, but I’m not really committing to doing the one thing usually that will move me forward.

Because I’m actually avoiding what I really need to do. And it is the sneakiest, most productive looking way of choosing your limitations and choosing to stay where you are and not choosing your next level. So many people know what they need to do. So many people know that if they just moved in this direction, that they would start to have real change in their life, that they would start to open up.

But they don’t choose it because they have a story in their head about how they just need this one more thing. One more thing. I’ll just I’m getting ready. I’m getting ready for it. Which sort of leads into the fourth one. Number four is they’re waiting for the right time. And a lot of times they can’t say why or they can’t say when that time will be. And

Where this comes from is a lot of times fierce independence where they won’t step until they’re sure that they can catch themselves. They won’t step until they’re they feel sure that it will all work out. And there’s never that guarantee. So this leads to what really is necessary, which is recognizing that ready is a decision. It’s not about forcing,

though.

I want to make that really clear. Ready as a decision does not mean that you then force yourself and hustle and make it happen. No, one of my clients came in to the bonus session on Monday and she gave a testimonial. And when I was asking her about what BBD helped her with, you know, she’s she was saying, because she’s she’s done all the things. She’s super accomplished. She didn’t need me to teach her much. She’s in there because

In her words, she said it’s holding her accountable to her journey. It’s holding her accountable to meeting herself in those uncomfortable places, asking for help, leaning on support, getting coached, asking when she doesn’t know how she’s in her own way, asking for somebody to reflect back what they see.

Great coaching in the new era is not going to be here’s my five-step framework for doing this thing. Great coaching in the new era is the same thing great coaching has always been. It’s just now it’s going to be the most important thing. Great coaching in the new era is going to be somebody holding a mirror up and showing you where you are not being yourself, where you are not being true to your path, where you are not being your authentic self.

Because what’s really important for everybody to remember in all of this, and I think that this is one of the things, it’s not on technically on my list, but I want to talk about it, is that there is this feeling like if I do what’s right for me, if I do what feels right for me, if I choose me, then I’m not choosing other people. And that is somehow abandoning the people around us. And that’s not it at all.

Everyone benefits, especially going into this frequency over material world that we’re going into, our gate 55, this more frequency based, energy based era that we’re entering into. Now that we’re going in there, the more aligned you are, there is no greater gift that you can give to the people around you. Because your consciousness.

Raises the consciousness of the people around you. Your energy is already affecting everybody in your home. It’s already affecting everybody in your life. It’s just you just don’t know it and you’re not paying attention to it. But you’ve been in a house probably with somebody who is toxic. So you understand how energy is contagious. You understand how an aligned or misaligned person can shift.

the weather of a room. You already know that. You’ve lived it. But we don’t trust it. And part of it is knowing, part of it is the intellectual side of it, and part of it is we’re scared. It’s so much easier to just stay where we are. So much easier to not go through all the stuff that we go through where we walk through our shadows and we look at them and we see them for what they are.

And we see the that they are the raw material of everything that is our potential. Everything that’s promised within us starts in those shadows. And we have to see them and we have to have a relationship with them. And when we do, when we dare to go to those places, we don’t just heal ourselves, we heal the people around us. And that is the most amazing gift.

That is what the future, I believe, is all about.

Now, the fifth thing that holds so many of these powerful women back is they don’t let themselves be as big as they are. I’ve heard so many people say in recent days and weeks, you know, I was at an event a few weeks ago. I spoke at an event, and then I was attending another event a few weeks before that. I’ve been at a lot of

live events recently. And I’ve heard this over and over again. You know, people not feeling like they are capable of starting a movement, of having a message, of being a powerful brand, of going after those clients, where

They won’t even allow themselves to envision it. That’s also a very big clue. If you can’t envision where you want to go, if there’s part of you that holds you back from it, from seeing it, it’s because you’re afraid that it won’t happen. And it’s just too painful. So it’s easier if we just put our attention on something else. One of those five things, right? Let’s put our attention one of these places. It’ll feel so much better.

There’s nothing noble about abandoning yourself.

Nope. Nothing noble about giving your power away. We don’t help other people by doing that.

But when we don’t play big, it’s little voices inside of us that say things like if they saw all of me they wouldn’t love me. These are fears. And this new era is calling us to heal these because the world is going to need all of you.

World is going to need all of you, all of us, to be all of ourselves. It doesn’t need you to be halfway. It doesn’t need me to be halfway, Nicole, which is why I continue to do this work. I hired a mirror. I joined a mastermind that promises me absolutely no strategy. It’s not going to teach me anything. But I trusted that the woman running it.

Will be that mirror. I trusted her with my heart, I trusted her with my secrets, I trust her with the ability to call me out and the strength to call me out and not let me off the hook. Why? Because I’m committed to where I’m going. I’m committed to all of me. And I know I can’t do that on my own. Human design is a wonderful tool, and I use it.

throughout every single day. I’m always coming back to it. But I also know that most of our conditioning is unconscious and we can make up great stories for staying where we are.

So now the belief underneath all of these things, the belief that runs underneath every single one of the items that I mentioned, is believing that they are unsupported. And a lot of women will tell me that they don’t feel that way, they don’t feel unsupported. And to that I say, okay, let’s look again for shits and giggles. If you don’t feel unsupported, but

You do everything yourself because you don’t believe your team will support you. They won’t be able to do it. Nobody will do it as well as you. You won’t ask for help because you are afraid it will not be given. You won’t tell your spouse what you really want because you don’t believe they will support you.

You won’t invest in coaching because you’ve been burned before and you think the coaches are all the same. Or you won’t invest in coaching because you’ve let yourself down before, because you don’t really feel like you have the resources to step up. You avoid doing the one thing that’ll move you forward because you’re afraid the audience won’t receive it or it won’t deliver the result that you want.

All of these are unsupported. We feel unsupported by the people around us. We feel unsupported from ourselves because we don’t trust ourselves. We feel unsupported from the universe because we feel like we have to do it all on our own. So we don’t use any of the energetics that we study and seemingly are working into our lives. You know, we’ll go on an ayahuasca retreat, but we won’t actually live that energetic work.

We won’t really trust the universe. We won’t really ask the universe for help. All of this is unsupported. And when many intelligent women, especially those like me that come from a corporate background, don’t know the path, they reach for a plan. They reach for a tactic. They reach for a strategy or some hierarchical structure that will make them feel like they get where they’re going. Okay, it’s this step and then it’s this step and then it’s this step.

Even when they know that that’s not what they need. Why? Why do they do that? Because conditioning. There’s the conditioning of the self, but then there’s the conditioning of 400 years of the cross of planning telling us that that was the way. But the conditioning for the individual is the not-self will do everything in its power to keep you where you are. Make no mistake, you are on autopilot.

I’m on autopilot some of the time. I just don’t spend as much time there as I used to. But there are times where I catch myself full in my conditioning and I’m like, whoa, look where you are right now. That’s not alignment, girl. I’m trained at this so I can see it. But when you’re on autopilot, the mind is in charge. It doesn’t want you to go deeper. So it gives you an out. In a few months we’ll do it. We’re not ready yet.

There’s too much that we have going on. We couldn’t possibly. Not now.

Sometimes those things are valid. Most of the time they’re not. So this is an invitation to just take a look. Do you feel supported? Are you saying yes to the places that would offer you the support or help you build the muscle to gain that support within yourself, to trust yourself? Because that is what it comes down to.

In business by design, we teach strategy, sure. Teach you how to have a podcast, teach you how to monetize, because I want you to make money. But most of the work that we do in there is on the human. It’s on the things keeping you from doing the thing that seems so simple.

I have people that have come into the program thinking they need strategy. They never touch that part of the program. They don’t go into it. They stall on all of that stuff. So what are we doing? We are working through their alignment to help them find what the next right action is for them to take and to decondition any of those parts that are keeping them from stepping into their next level self, into their gifts, into their purpose with their whole heart.

with everything that they have in them. We never know how it’s going to work out. We never know what the result will be. But what human design allows you to do, what it has given me and what it gives my clients is this deep sense of trust in ourselves.

So for me, I always say, I never know where I’m going. I never know what the result will be. I don’t know. Maybe this mastermind that I just invested in, I don’t know if I’m gonna make a million dollars or revenue will go down. I don’t know. But I know if I make decisions in alignment with my design and I’m living in alignment with my true authority, and I’m letting that guide me.

That I might not get the thing that I think I want, but I will always get what I need. there’s a saying that I love, which my old coach James Wentmore used to say all the time. And it’s I will either get the result that I want or the lesson that I need. I know when I make decisions in alignment with my human design, that I am walking the path that I’m meant for.

Regardless of if it churns out every single result that I thought that I was gonna get. I have to let go of that. That’s what being detached is. Being fully committed to the result that you want, that what you are calling in, the desire that you have, but being fully detached from your identity and from your experience of what that means about you if it doesn’t happen.

That you can still stay open to it and say, well, if it’s not today, it’s tomorrow. If it’s not this, then it’s something better. That sounds like lip service, but when you do this work, it really is how you live. And that’s how you grow. Because it’s going to require you to do scary shit. And to not go into the scary shit, white-knuckling it and feeling like, my God, is this gonna fall apart?

You can do it scared, but you can also do it scared with your energy open in full trust. I will either get the result that I want or the lesson that I need. I’m walking into this with clean energy.

I can desire a result and I can also be totally okay and have it mean nothing about me or my chances for success if it doesn’t work out how I thought it had to.

That takes a level of trust. That takes a level of deconditioning to not go into fear and to not reach for another strategic thing of what are we gonna do to make it right.

But we also have to do something. We still have to take action. This is the art of being an entrepreneur. And that is what we do and we teach inside business by design. It is helping you find out what your art is. If you take a painting class in school, if you were an art major, they don’t teach you what your paintings should look like, they teach you technique.

what the techniques are, how to do them, and then they have to make their own way in that art world. They have to find their own way to their own art. And that is what this is like. So if you’re curious about business by design and how we can help you find your art to find your way, to find your level of self-trust, that you are unshakable.

As we call this show, because that’s what this is about. To be unshakable means to have such deep trust in yourself that nothing can rock you. That’s the world that we’re entering into. That’s what a new era leader does. That’s at the core. What you do with that level of self-trust is individual to you.

So if you’d like more information, hop down to the show notes. You can check out the sales page there and get all the details of what that looks like. And if you want to talk to me and find out if this is the right place for you, then DM me Clarity on Instagram. I’m at Nicole Laino Official, or go to Nicole Laino.com forward slash clarity and you can book a call with me right there. Thanks so much. Hope you enjoyed this. Have a wonderful rest of your day. And remember, in order to have an unshakable business, you must first become an unshakable human.

So thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with human design. We’ll see you next time.