In today’s episode, Nicole takes you on a journey that will challenge your notions of success and alignment. She’s diving deep into the question—can you be successful while also living a life that is aligned for you?
- How success and alignment can harmoniously coexist, shattering the myth that you must choose one over the other.
- Why conventional metrics of success are basically guaranteed to have you feeling inadequate.
- How living in alignment with your human design can pave the way for unexpected and fulfilling success.
- How showing up authentically and embracing your unique talents attracts success and meaningful connections.
Listen to this episode to learn how you can live a life that is both fulfilling and successful!
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Hey there. Welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, everyone. I’m your host, Nicole Laino, and we’re going to dive into an age old question. It’s a question that’s been asked forever, but we’re looking at it a little bit differently. As our language changes, as our consciousness changes, we start looking at things, these things a little bit more differently.
So I’m going to show you this question. I’m going to show you how it relates to this old question that we’ve been asking since, the dawn of time, probably. And then I’m going to give you some human design examples at the end to tie this all up and show you how this all works.
So the question is, success and alignment, can I have both? Can we be both successful and in alignment? And I think that is, honestly, the wrong question to be asking. And this is the same question we’ve been asking forever, can I be rich and be happy? We’re asking it in a little bit of a different way.
Can I achieve and still be in alignment? And we’ll talk about this specifically through human design, alignment through your design. Can I be following my design and still be successful? I actually think it’s the wrong question that we’re asking. Let’s start right there, okay? So we’ll start with that we are all designed to be successful.
It isn’t an either or thing. It isn’t some people are luckier than others. There are some people where it’s easier to be successful in the ways that we have been taught to be successful and that we’ve been taught to think about success. But everyone is designed to be successful in living their design.
You were purposefully made the way that you are because you have something specific to be offered to the world. Are you valuing what you are, is a better question. Better questions are, what is your definition of success? And what do I think I need to do in order to be successful?
What’s the path that I see to being successful? What are my markers that say, yes, you’ve made it now, Nicole. You are successful. How are you looking at success?
This all comes from not valuing ourselves, but valuing the outside. Let’s start right there and recognize that throughout your whole life, you’ve been programmed to believe that success has to come a certain way, it has to look a certain way.
There’s a certain way that is successful and there’s a certain way that is not successful. And that’s been fed to you. It’s been fed to all of us. We see other people. We see the way that they’re living. We see what they are achieving and what they are getting. And we question ourselves for not having it, not being it, not living that way.
So we try to be that thing. And that’s what pulls us off our alignment. So in order to have alignment and have success, it’s to recognize first that you have your own specific path and your own specific result as far as what success is to you. What success actually means for you comes from the way that you are designed.
It’s not even the end result that changes, it’s how success comes to you. How do you achieve success? So, an example of this can be if you have an open throat center, and you are running around being like, how do I get attention? How do I get attention? How do I get attention?
You might be churning out content, you might be doing all the things and you’re trying, and trying, and trying, wondering, worrying, and initiating. So unless you’re a manifester, which you wouldn’t be a manifester if you have an open throat. With an open throat, you’re running around and you’re wondering, what can I do to get the attention that I need so that I can be successful?
Right then and there, you are on a path to suffering. Because that’s going to be real hard for you. That’s not going to feel good. It most likely, even if you get it, won’t be sustainable. And that’s when we talk about, can we be rich and be happy? People be like, no, I had to give up all the wealth and all of the material success in order to live a happy life.
Is that true, or do they just go about it in the wrong way, put the wrong things in front, and maybe get pulled off their specific path? Everybody’s different. But one thing that I know is that when we start to follow our design and we start to allow what we naturally are to come through, when we start to allow things to come to us in the correct way and wait in between, then suddenly unexpected and wonderful things start showing up.
The right people just are falling into our laps. Now if you go traditional human design they’ll say that you have absolutely no choice. No choice in what comes to you, no choice in where you end up. I don’t fully subscribe to that. I believe that you can visualize, I believe that you can have goals, I believe that you can have intentions for yourself, and a place that you want to end up generally.
And then you’ve got to let go and let the path unfold for you. And unfold in the way that is correct for you. Part of this is tuning into what you’re uniquely here to do. There are so many pieces of your human design that lead to this. And the alignment process is really just starting to recognize, these are my gifts, but also these are my shadows.
My shadows, my low frequency, my low expression of all of this stuff, if I’m in alignment with that, I’m gonna get that. Deconditioning according to traditional human design takes seven years. That’s what they say. In order to be fully deconditioned, it takes seven years. Now the reasoning for that, the public reasoning, is that cellular turnover takes seven years. For all of the cells in your body to turn over will be seven years. It’s a seven year cycle. So, why we talk about seven year cycles, we have leaps, we have changes in that time if we’ve made changes to ourselves.
So the idea is that if you started living by your design, only by your design today, seven years from now there wouldn’t be one cell in your body that was aligned with the way you were yesterday. So you’d have no memory of the way that you were. You would only have memory of being correct and aligned, right?
So that’s the thinking behind it. I also believe that the path to alignment through human design can take longer, can feel longer because we don’t trust it at first. So we dip our toe in, and we start to play with it, but we’re not really invested in it, we’re not really believing it, so we’re not really following it.
We’re not really waiting. And if you listen to an episode I did within the last few weeks, episode 193, if you look at that episode, and you listen to that episode, I talk about how I leaned into strategy and authority. It was called The Five Things I Did That Brought Ease and Cash Into My Business.
And the first thing that I mention is I followed strategy and authority. Which of course, like, duh, I’m, a human design coach, of course I followed strategy and authority. But no, I really followed strategy and authority. Meaning, I didn’t let my idea of what would make me successful, what would work, which would be working harder, which would be showing up, which would be burning myself out, which would be agonizing over some of these things rather than allowing the idea to unfold and come to me.
I didn’t do that. I didn’t put success first. I put alignment first. And by really committing to that, and committing to human design, and committing to my process, and not allowing fear or my idea of how it all should or could work out override the alignment process that I was in. This was a big leap in my experiment.
Where I was like, I’m not going to be pulled off course here. First of all, if I’m going to teach this, I need to be fully in this. If I’m going to tell people to follow strategy and authority, I better be doing it 100% and not be pulled off. Or when I am, be very cognizant of it.
There are times where you’ve got a dinner planned with family and you’re tired, and you’re like, you know what, I’m just going to do the thing. We have to do that. But big decisions, when it came to making decisions in my business, I was on strategy and authority. I rolled with that.
And it had tremendous results, it also deepened my belief in this process. And that’s part of why I think it takes people so long, because it takes a while before we get to that point to say, I’m going to go all in on this. And then you start to see what it can do. And then that’s where deconditioning comes in because we are conditioned to believe that success can only look and come a certain way.
We are conditioned to believe that success comes to me like this if I do these certain things and here’s where I will end up. And I won’t feel complete, and I won’t feel validated and I won’t feel like I did everything I could unless I followed this process. Right? That’s the conditioning. So if you start following your process, your own process, your human design process, that conditioning starts to fall away.
So the question of, can you have success and alignment? The answer is yes, but not if you put alignment last. It can’t be the afterthought. It can’t be the thing that you’re saying like, I’ll do that when I get to it. I’ll do that once I’m successful. That will take you longer, and that will most likely not feel good on the way.
And what I’ve seen happen with lots of people, myself included, is that you climb to the top of that mountain, you scrape, and you bleed, and you knock yourself out climbing that mountain, and then you get to the top and you’re like, I don’t like this view. And that’s a terrible feeling. It really is.
Because then you start questioning everything. And you start wondering if you’re ever going to feel good. If I have all this stuff and I still don’t feel good, or I still don’t feel like I made it, now what? The only thing that was pushing me this whole time was that I would get to the top of this mountain and I would be happy.
And that’s where Jim Fortin, his big thing, is we think that the formula is I will do the thing, then I will have the money, and then I will be happy. But no, it’s actually reversed. It’s I will be happy, then I will be able to do the things, and I will have everything that I want. The being comes first. Alignment comes first.
You have to do the thing that doesn’t make sense. When they say in order to have something you’ve never had before, you have to do something you’ve never done. We keep thinking about that in a really small way. Keep thinking about that like the tasks. Oh, I’ve got to do this thing.
I’ve never done that before. No. You’ve got to think differently. If you want radical change, make radical change. It’s not necessarily always about making some big giant investment in yourself, which is how this is usually messaged. Buy my $30,000 program. That’s the leap that you need to take if you want to have your quantum leap.
I’m not saying that doesn’t work some of the time, but it’s not a guarantee. That’s not the only way this works. Sometimes the big risk, the big change, the radical change is changing everything about the way that you operate. Cause then you’re different. When you start looking at the world, making choices from a centered perspective, making choices that are totally in alignment for me, then you can take in the information, the processes from other people, and you get to decide from an empowered place whether they are correct for you or not.
The other thing I want to say is that alignment isn’t all there is. You have to take action. There does have to be action. It just, the way that you take action and the way you decide which action is correct for you comes from you and your inner wisdom. From your strategy and authority.
From understanding what your gifts are, so that you’re making sure that you’re showing up in your gifts. Because when you show up in your gifts, purely in your gifts, when you’re really showing up in your gifts then people are attracted to you. I know what my gifts are and I get to show them through this show.
One of my prime gifts is illumination, imagination, changing the way people think and getting them to see a light that is both here on earth and a little bit beyond it. I feel like that is part of what I do here. But if I’m caught in confusion, and I don’t understand what I’m talking about, if I’m really not embodied in what I’m talking about, then it doesn’t come out right.
So it puts my focus on me being who I’m meant to be, the best version of me. There’s a lot of talk about, we have to be this next level version of ourselves. Well, that’s often a very fuzzy process of how you get to do that. Human design gives you the steps of saying, bring these pieces into high expression.
And then you will start being a different, better, higher version of yourself. So when you understand what those pieces are, and you start to understand how you can lift them from one frequency into a higher frequency, that’s power. That’s when success and alignment come. And that’s when your whole world opens up.
Because you feel like anything is possible at that point. You feel like you are held, you are supported in this life. And it’s a beautiful, beautiful thing. Nothing more empowering than feeling like you are in control and you can surrender all at the same time. You take action, but when you take action, how to make the decision whether you are going to take a specific action or not and how you’re going to do it, how it comes to you, how you make that decision totally rests inside of you, in your process.
That is the most powerful thing that I have experienced in my life, because it’s universal. It applies to everything. It applies to my parenting, it applies to my business, it applies to my family, it applies to my life, it applies to everything. So I hope that this helps to shed some light on how you can have both success and alignment.
Because it is possible to have both. You just can’t get caught up in what success is going to look like for you, and how it has to happen. And that requires some deconditioning in and of itself. If you have an open ego and you think that you need to prove yourself and you need to show up every day, you’ve got to pull that away.
That does not mean that you don’t go out and show people who you are. You’re just doing it differently. The come from is different. When you start to make those shifts, then you start to bloom in a whole new way.
So I hope this helped. If you’re interested in diving into this deeper, the Human Design Lab is a wonderful place if you’re looking to just get your feet wet with human design, it’s my membership.
You can go to nicolelaino.me/lab and you can get all the info there. If you are interested in understanding how to build an authority platform for yourself, so I talked about how I use this show to showcase my gifts. To be able to broadcast them in a way that people have time. to deepen their relationship with me.
If you’re interested in doing that, and doing it according to your human design, it starts with your type, and we have created a free guide for you on how to structure a podcast based on your human design type. Now it goes deeper than this, but that is the place to start is looking at your type.
We have that, it’s a completely free guide for you. If you go to nicolelaino.me/podcastbydesign all one word you can find that guide there. All of my stuff is at nicolelaino.me/podcastlinks. You can go there to find everything, how to book a reading with me. If you want to know about my mastermind, my programs, anything there, everything is on that page.
We can connect you there, so go over to that page. Everyone have a wonderful, wonderful rest of your week. Thank you for making it all the way to the end of this episode with me. Remember you can only have an unshakeable business if you must first become an unshakeable human. So thank you for letting me help you become Unshakeable with Human Design.
We will see you next time.