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What Your Coach Isn’t Telling You

Episode 262

In today’s episode, Nicole tackles the all-too-common issue of investing in business programs that fail to deliver on their promises. Drawing from her own experiences and those of her clients, Nicole uncovers the truth behind the alluring marketing messages that often lead entrepreneurs astray.

But this isn’t just a cautionary tale. Nicole shares her insights on how human design can be the surprising key to making aligned, empowered decisions in your business. She reveals how understanding your unique human design type and authority can help you avoid the trap of investing from a place of lack and instead, build a strong inner foundation for sustainable success.

Through vulnerable stories and practical wisdom, Nicole shows you how to navigate the world of business investments with discernment and integrity. Whether you’ve been burned by high-ticket programs in the past or are simply looking to make more confident choices in your business, this episode will give you the tools you need to become truly unshakeable.

Tune in to discover the missing piece in your business investment strategy and learn how Nicole is helping entrepreneurs transform their businesses from the inside out. If you’re ready to stop sabotaging your success and unlock your true potential, this is an episode you won’t want to miss.


Learn more about the Business By Design Mentorship at nicolelaino.com/enroll

You can still catch replays for the free 5-day masterclass, The Authority Accelerator in HD: Create Your Million Dollar Message in 5 Days Using Human Design at nicolelaino.com/masterclass

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Episode 262

Welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, the show dedicated to helping entrepreneurs use human design to shift from hustle to flow without sacrificing results. Come here to become an unshakeable human and build an unshakeable business according to your human design. I’m your host, Nicole Laino.

Hello and welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, everybody. I’m your host, Nicole Laino, and we are here today to talk about something that has been coming up a lot lately, return on investment on the programs, masterminds, and all the things that we invest in in our business. I opened doors to my Business by Design Mentorship just the other day.

So I’ve been having a lot of clarity calls with people, which is where I sit down. I actually still do sales calls because I think that they are valuable both for me and for the people that I’m meeting with. And I keep hearing the same story over and over again, that people have said that they’ve spent tens of thousands of dollars on these programs that promised a lot and delivered very little.

Now, I’m not blaming all the programs because a lot of times we’re just not ready to operate the system that is being sold to us. But in marketing language, messaging is really built to stir you up and to get you to move away from your pain.

Because it’s telling you, here’s the solution. Here is the prescription for the pain that you’re feeling. And you’re like, yes, please give me anything. I’ll do anything to get out of this. Or they’re dangling desire. And they’re saying that this is what you want. It’s over here. Come here, buy this thing and we’ll get you there.

There’s a reason though that if you’ve invested in a program, a mastermind, a group program, maybe with a one to one upgrade, and you thought that it was going to be the thing, and it turned out to not be the thing, and now you’re beating yourself up over it. This is the story that I’m hearing over and over and over again.

I get it. I understand that. I’ve been there too. I get it. Because the coaches that you’ve hired say they made like 2 million dollars from social media and you can too. Steal my strategy. And they’re, usually their hooks are just how much money they made. And all they had to do was continue to get people to buy their thing in order to inflate that number.

And they’re not really on the hook to provide any other social proof other than that because it is so enticing. She made two million dollars on Instagram, maybe I could too. If she could do it, I could do it. That’s another line that’s sold to us. And I’m not saying that any of those things are not true, but here’s where human design can come in and save you from this.

Because that is an example of when you look at just somebody’s results, you see the carrot and you say I want that and you jump into it to try to fix the situation that you’re in or think that that will be the thing to save me. And it’s coming from a place of you feeling lack.

You will probably get more lack. And the other problem with a lot of these, there are some really amazing programs, amazing coaches, people who have real results for real people, but there are also ones that do not. And they do not have real results for real people. They have real results for themselves, possibly, just like I said, where they’ve racked up cash on their own and their only hooks that they use are, this is how I made a $600,000 month.

This is how I made 2 million last year. And they say something like, all you had to do was be magnetic. All you had to do was buy this kind of dress and step out of this kind of car. And. And they’re tickling that fancy of people to say, you could have financial freedom too. Here, look, I’m evidence of it.

And they pad their own revenue and then they post about how they’re having 200, 000 months. And it’s hard to look away from. Totally. Those people can’t teach you messaging unless they have something deeper than that underneath it. And I’m not saying that all of them don’t. There are plenty that do.

But the way that you tell the difference between the ones that can and the ones that can’t is you’ve got to really tune into you. And if you’re in lack, and if you are in fear, and if you aren’t grounded and what I call unshakeable, you will probably be taken for a ride and you’ll be taken for one over and over and over again until you learn to ground yourself so you can be discerning and you can filter a message like that through your own authority and say, is this really right for me?

Cause the prospect of getting rich quick kind of sells itself. Those people don’t have to be able to teach you how you can find your message. A lot of them are not equipped to do that. Why? Because their message is just, I make lots of money.

Honestly, most of us stop reading after that. I made lots of money doing this. Doesn’t it look fun? Buy my thing. And then you buy it, and maybe you don’t even take in the information. Cause the truth is that what led you there was something that wasn’t truthful for you. It wasn’t really for you.

It was your lack. It was your misalignment that led you there. This is what human design can save you from, and I have bought the snake oil. I have absolutely been seduced by powerful women in Prada sunglasses and $1800 boots, and told me that all I needed to do was be magnetic and I too could be a millionaire.

But the truth is that magnetism was never enough. And usually the price tag was too high on it for me to learn that from them. I’m not saying that those things aren’t needed, it’s just not the whole picture. It’s a lot harder to sell the entire process. It’s a lot harder to tell somebody it’s going to take you all of these things for you to probably start to see real, sustainable success.

It’s hard to tell people that it might be hard for a little bit. It doesn’t have to be, but it could be. It’s so much easier to say, It’s so easy, lay in a bathtub, write your content, and watch the money start pouring in. Start a faceless Instagram account. Start doing this. There’s so much out there that is so easy to sell.

When you have that kind of personal testimonial. I made X amount of dollars laying down on the beach, taking pictures of myself. Okay, well that sounds really great. I would love to lay on the beach and make money. That sounds awesome. Who wouldn’t want that? It’s not your fault for being sucked into that.

And honestly, there are some people who make that work. So I’m not even calling them out. I’m calling us all up to make decisions from a different place. Because quite honestly, if you are stuck and you have 15 programs sitting on the digital shelf, collecting dust. If you have that going on and you’re not using the resources that you have, then you’re obsessed with your own results too.

And nobody needs more of that. I set out a while back, I told my team, I said, here’s our new directive. This is the first thing at the top of our list is we are obsessed with client results. How do we get people to the results that we promise and how do we get them there faster?

How do we get them to this place of empowerment? How do we get people to this place of results? How do we get people to a place of understanding their message? What are all the pieces that are needed? What are the things that really worked for us? How can we be really transparent with our message so we let people know what the journey looks like, even if it means fewer sales for us, and how do we deliver for our people who come through the door?

That’s what we are obsessed with now. If you get obsessed with that, the level of confidence that you have will skyrocket. The answers you get will be so different than the ones you get sitting in shame for all the things that you bought that you didn’t make use of or you didn’t make work.

This is where human design alignment can come in because I was in that place too. I bought tons of stuff. I signed up for lots of things and maybe took things about halfway there. Some of them I took all the way there, and it’s the reason that I’m here right now. But then we all have that new level, new devil.

If you find yourself unable to commit to the work that you know needs to be done, then you need to look at yourself and come back to your own grounding. You need to come back to the basics. And don’t blame anybody else, don’t blame yourself, because shame will only hold you back more.

Shame is the thing that is keeping you stuck. So you need to decondition that. You need to work through that and find your own power. Put on your big girl pants and show up for yourself. And this is what we teach inside my program, is put gentle awareness and focus on how do I get people results.

Not to tie you up in knots, but to just get your energy focus there. And then how do I come back to myself and ground in my own power so that I don’t feel like not enough before I’m delivering those type of results for people. What can I deliver right now? What can I make happen right now for somebody?

Because if you want to sell something, you need to solve a problem and you need to figure out what that problem is. And if the problem is too complicated that you’re trying to solve, then you need to simplify it. And that’s why I created my program the way that I did. I created it in a way where we are meeting once a week.

You have lots of touchpoints with me. If you’re in the full mentorship, you get one on one readings with me. You get a messaging call. The reason for the one on one touchpoints and the hybrid model was, this is what’s going to get people there faster. People need some focused time, but without the price tag of one to one coaching.

To be able to have somebody know their business. So I can say, do you see how you’re pulling yourself off course here? That type of guidance is the stuff I could never find. I could never find anybody who was going to be that dialed in with me without me paying $50,000 a year.

And even when I paid those kind of prices, a lot of times I did not get that level of attention. So I asked myself, how can I bring the cost down but bring the attention and guidance and support up without taking on all of the responsibility on my own? It’s still their business.

But how can I bring out their gifts? And this is where human design comes in. By letting your gifts shine, by allowing your gifts to come through, you start to see new ways that you solve problems. So if you’ve fallen into this trap of buying things to solve your problems, and when those things you bought don’t solve the problem, you start feeling like you’re the problem, and then you lose confidence, and then things aren’t working, and then you get deeper and deeper and deeper into this hole, you have to start seeing yourself differently, you have to come out of it a different way.

You have to look at the problem from a new perspective. It would be a whole lot easier for me to sell just the strategic side of my program of building a message and building a podcast. But I’ve done that and I didn’t see people get results from that either, because they got stuck on I don’t know what makes me special.

I don’t know what makes me different. I don’t know how I solve these problems. And it’s human design and the personal self discovery journey that helps us clarify what those problems are. So I go to that personal development, to that grounding, to making you unshakable. Cause different answers come to you, different ideas come to you, different opportunities come to you.

You start attracting a very different level person when you strengthen yourself. When we just teach strategy, we get questions like, I need to find my niche. My niche is too poor, they’re not able to pay me. I have to elevate my niche. So then you start looking at specific things. Well, I could go after people in corporate because corporate people can pay me.

Or I’ll go after these people because they can pay me. Not really grounded in anything other than I think those people can pay me. While that is important, it isn’t everything. That is just the strategic side. Usually, you get stuck in that too, and you end up chasing something else. Why? You’re not really grounded in who you are and what you do.

Your gifts are not coming through. And it is this constant circling of struggle. But when we come back to you and we build you from the foundation of strengthening you from the inside out, where you are grounded. Where the next coach that comes saying that they’re making 2 million a year, you sit back quietly, comfortably, and you assess whether that is truly correct for you or not.

Those are great results. Does that really feel correct for me? Not necessarily being skeptical of everything, but really just noticing, does that feel like the right thing for me? I remember a few years ago, I signed up with a coach. At that time, it was the biggest investment that I had made.

I’ve made bigger investments since then. And I was sitting there and I was listening and it was like a 20, 000 program. And I listened to her drop the price. I was like, but I remember the feeling was, I know this is it. It was my sacral, and I didn’t know that at the time. It was my sacral that was lighting up.

My sacral was just like, yes, yes. And I have emotional authority. Again, didn’t know that at that time. I said, okay, I’m gonna sleep on it. I’ve gotta take a moment with this. I know I can’t be rash or jump into anything. So, I took like two days, and I was one of those people, ten minutes before they closed cart, I signed up.

But I had to sit with it. And I had to go talk to my husband and tell him that I was doing this. I wasn’t asking permission, but I was standing up for myself, and I knew I couldn’t do it in secret, which I had done before. I had bought things in secret before, and I was like, this has to be different.

I have to be different. And I showed up and I told him what the plan was and I told him what it looked like, what the cost was, and I said, this is what I need. I know it. I know it in my bones, I know it. This one I will see all the way through. And he was like, alright, don’t fuck it up. And I didn’t.

I signed up and I didn’t fuck it up. Changed my business, changed my life, changed the way I do everything. It gave me the strategy, which is what I was missing. And what I realized happened at the time was I knew it was the piece that I needed at that moment. It was the thing that was necessary for me.

And other times when I’ve signed up because it’s somebody’s results that are screaming at me, that’s not necessarily what I needed. I just wanted the results so badly, I thought that this would get me there and I jumped in. Not from a place of real alignment in what my energy was calling for and what my energy said yes to.

My sacral needs to say yes or it will tap out on me and I will not see it all the way through to the end. I’ll show up and then I’ll disappear and I won’t be able to do the work and I’ll wonder why and I’ll call myself a failure. And if you have been there, I get it. You have to look at you and your process and how you enter into things in order to make them work and in order for you to see them through all the way to the end.

Figure out what is your first best step. And find somebody who has some integrity, that you sense integrity from them, and that they hold something that you need and then do what you can to work with them or get yourself to a better place and make that commitment to yourself, to show up for yourself. Use the resources you already have if you have to.

But there’s kind of a reckoning happening in this industry right now. Where a lot of the people who were doing great are not doing quite as great as they were. They’re changing their tune. There are some shifts happening. Now you could see that as, oh my God, it’s all coming crumbling down. Is there a future here for this?

Or you could see it as a huge opening for coaches and people with integrity to show up and fill a void that has been here for a long time. To really provide value, and instead of being obsessed with your own results, with if you’re sitting in shame right now, thinking about how you didn’t make it work, so you can’t sell anything, you’re obsessed with your own results too.

That is self indulgent. I’m gonna call you out right now. I remember when I worked in theater. He’s a really veteran actor that we work with. He’s been in like a million films and a million TV shows and he worked in our theater and someone said that they were nervous and they were afraid and he was like, nerves are one thing.

But if you’re obsessed with your nerves, then that’s just self indulgent. This isn’t about you. It’s about the audience and it’s about the person in the scene with you. Get over yourself. Get over yourself. That’s the wake up call. Get over yourself. Find your power inside of you and make a choice to do one thing that’ll change the next thing for you.

We always have that choice. So this wasn’t my traditional episode. I hope this called you up, maybe called you out a little bit, but the goal here is to call you up. And if you are looking for

a place where you will be supported, where you will be guided to find your inner power and also put the strategic elements in place so that you have a sales system, a message, and a delivery method like a podcast to deliver that strong message that sells, that is unique to you, If you want to change your life over the next year, then check out the Business by Design Mentorship.

Our doors are open right now. If you want to book a Clarity call with me to find out about it and hear if this is right for you, all you have to do is DM me the word clarity on Instagram and we will send you the link and you can book a call with me. And if you want to check out the mentorship, just DM me the word mentorship on Instagram and we will send you the link there or go to nicolelaino.com/enroll and you can check out the details page there. So I hope that you love this episode. I hope it lit a fire under your butt and got you going in a really good way because you are capable, and maybe this is the moment that everything changes for you.

That is my hope. So thanks for being here. And remember, in order to have an unshakeable business, you must first become an unshakeable human. So thanks for letting us help you on your journey of becoming unshakeable with human design, everybody. We’ll see you next time.

If you love this episode and you’re a fan of the show, please show us the love on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you’re listening to the show and leave us a review. And if you’d like to connect with other entrepreneurs on their human design journey, join our free Facebook community, Human Design for Entrepreneurs.

Go to nicolelaino. me forward slash podcast links to join the group, book a human design reading with me, or access our free human design resources. We’ll see you there.

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