Hello and welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, everybody. I’m your host, Nicole Laino, and we are here today talking about Soft Girl Era. Have you heard about this? Soft Girl Era, feminine leadership, stepping into the divine feminine. Feminine over masculine in business. And we see this very much with high level leaders at the moment. As they’re having kids and they’re like, I’m leaning into motherhood, I want more space in my life, I want more freedom, I’m embracing the quiet, I’m letting go of hustle. All of these messages that are out there and they’re talking about what they are prioritizing right now.

Now, I think that that’s a really important way to look at this as well. What are they prioritizing? It doesn’t mean that the other things don’t exist. And the problem that I want to talk about in this episode, the problem with soft girl era, the problem with feminine over masculine in business, is that it’s just not that simple.

Very often, very rarely is it one quick fix, one single thing that’s going to fix all of your problems. There’s an assessment that has to be made. You don’t go to the doctor and walk in and say, I’m sick, and they go, here, this is the prescription I’ve been giving out to everybody for the last few weeks.

It’s curing everyone. That’s not how it works. They say, okay, come in, tell me about your symptoms. What are you experiencing? How long has that been going on? What else have you tried? There’s a series of questions and then they’re like, let me examine you. And they’re making an assessment and they are diagnosing your problem before they prescribe you something.

We’re often missing that diagnosis phase. We’re just saying, I heard that thing works for this person. And then we jump into action behind it. And I want to talk about what that really leads to. And I’m not going to say that feminine isn’t what you need.

I’m not going to say that nervous system regulation work and expansion work is not what you need. I won’t be saying that because I don’t know. Because I have not diagnosed you. I have not heard about your problems or your experience or what you are going through. I just don’t know. So I can’t say. And that’s the honest truth.

But what I can say is that human design can help you make those decisions for yourself. And make them from a very different place. And I want to also mention that I am a person who made those decisions, who said, I want what she has. She says she’s doing it this way, so I need to pay her so that I can be her and I can get the results that she has, because I’m desperate.

And boy, were those expensive lessons. That was not often a successful approach and it was without fail, pretty much very costly. Both in my belief in myself, because I bought another thing and invested in another thing that didn’t work. And to my bank account to say, oh, well there goes another two, three grand or whatever that I invested in this thing that now either sits on a digital shelf, or I went all the way through and did not really see the benefit from.

Or I didn’t see the benefit that I needed then. It doesn’t mean that everything that I bought didn’t serve me in some way. Just typically, when we invest in things and someone says, this is what made me a bunch of money, and then we go and buy that thing. We’re like, Oh, I’m going to make a bunch of money too.

Maybe not because there might’ve been other things that made them a bunch of money, but this one thing helped them expand that, grow that which already was. So, if someone’s teaching you breath work, it might help you take steps that are difficult for you to take in putting yourself out there, in putting out your offers.

But if they’re not teaching you how to create offers, and they’re not teaching you how to build a business, and they’re not teaching you how to create the content and do all of that stuff, then you’re probably going to need to invest in something else in order to teach you those skills that are needed, and the breathwork will be a lovely addition to that.

So this is what we’re going to break down. And it’s not so much that I have a problem with the feminine side, I have a problem with these, blanket messages that go out there. And there’s always a trend in messaging. We’re hearing this now. Everybody’s talking about evergreen. Everybody’s talking about spaciousness and expansion. These messages are contagious and they end up spreading through the ecosystem. And we all start to ingest it and either get moved or turned off by it, right?

So, before I get into the rest of this where I’m going to talk to you about how you start to diagnose your own problems and how you can use human design to change the way that you make these decisions, to make them from a place of power and not from lack. And I want to show you how that works, and I want you to understand that there are certain aspects of your chart that might say why you might lean more masculine.

Or why you may lean more feminine, why that might be necessary for you. And human design can be this really beautiful tool to help you, not so much where you’re looking at it and saying, I have an open G center, so I really need to be more open and less forceful in where I’m going or what I’m doing.

I don’t like those, if this, then I have to do that kind of rules with human design. I don’t look at it that way. It’s understanding yourself on a fundamental level to help you make the decisions that feel right according to your strategy and authority that make you feel really empowered. And then the chart sometimes can help you understand why something that your strategy and authority is calling you to do doesn’t make sense to the outside world. But you can look at that and go, that’s why this feels right to me.

And I’ll give you an example from my own business of how I’ve structured things specifically because of aspects in my chart. Not because it was a rule that said, I have to build it this way. But rather, aspects of my design, helped me to say, I don’t need to listen to that thing that’s being said out there all the time, and that everybody seems to be doing and is really trendy and hot right now. This is what’s right for me and this is why it feels right. I could feel really powerful and really grounded. And very confident going all in on this strategy. Because it really feels like my strategy.

So, before I do that,

I do want to mention that the doors to Business By Design, which is my 12 month mentorship, this is business by human design mentorship program is open for enrollment right now. Now, Business By Design is my five step methodology, my soul strategy method for helping you build a profitable and sustainable business by your human design. And we do that through alignment, strengthening your gifts through your design, helping you attract more than hustle, but also building the infrastructure for your business, the systems that will allow you to actually have sales coming in so that your effort has someplace to go.

So that you have both business building aspects, and the infrastructure, so you have a solid foundation for your business that’s driving sales and you have a process which creates space in your nervous system, by the way. That you have space for that, but then also is helping you understand how to lead yourself.

How to become an unshakeable human. So that you’re making decisions from your place of power and not from a disempowered place. I always say to my clients, I’m not teaching you how to listen to me, I’m teaching you how to listen to yourself. And I’m just asking you better questions to help you get there and guiding you and pointing out certain things in your design.

And then we build the process and the strategies underneath it to support you. So, doors are open.

All you have to do to get more information is DM me mentorship on Instagram, I’m @NicoleLainoOfficial. We’ll send you the information there. Or, if you’d like to have more information on the soul strategy method, that five step methodology for building a business by design, I just did a five day masterclass where I took you through each of the steps in depth, where I taught that for free.

So all you have to do if you want those replays to watch those videos and see what I took you through and what that process looks like of building a business by design, all you have to do is DM me the word masterclass on Instagram. I’m @NicoleLainoOfficial, and we’ll send you the link to the replays once you do that. Once you register for it there.

Okay, so let’s dive in. So, like I said, high level leaders are embracing their soft girl era. They are taking summers off. They are leaning back and a really important question that I don’t think gets asked when we get really excited about somebody else’s results is, where did they start from?

That worked for them now. This is what they’re focusing on now. What did they do before? Where did they come from? What did their business or world look like before? This is the difference between wanting versus desiring from an empowered place. When we just look at, that’s working for them, let’s go.

You’re chasing. You’re in the energy of lack. You are not grounded. So when you’re not grounded, literally if you think about it that way, not being grounded causes you to be floating above your body, you’re not in your body. The ideas are so much easier to penetrate you, the conditioning is so much easier to pull you, which is what human design is all about.

We get pulled by our conditioning, not by our truth. Our openness in our chart, we start to receive it. We receive a message that’s not for us through those open centers, through those bridging gates in our design, through our shadows. It triggers us and we say, Ooh, I want that thing. Ooh, that will feel good.

Ooh, that will make me feel better. I call it the tail wagging the dog. We get pulled by our conditioning and we leave all of our truth and power behind. That’s the difference. So first we want to start looking at these scenarios differently. And even just asking that question might keep you from floating away through your conditioning and be able to ground yourself and say, how did they get there?

What came first? Is this the only thing that they did? Or did they do a bunch of stuff before and now this was the thing that they needed? Asking yourself, what moves did they make versus what move is correct for me to make right now?

It’s not about them. I hear things that sound awesome all the time. And because I’m aligned, because I’m not pulled by my conditioning, because I don’t blindly listen and follow anymore, I hear what they’re doing and I go, well that sounds great. That is just not what I need at this moment.

That’s not my priority at the moment. Because I’ve assessed. And I know the diagnosis of any problems that I have, I’m at a scaling phase now, so the things that I’m looking for are very specific and different than they were two years ago. So an eight figure business leader, who’s leaning back, who’s embracing soft girl era, who is leaning into her divine feminine, most of those people, I know some of them personally, I know some of them through friends of friends, and some of them I’ve just watched for a long time.

They are leaning back because they leaned in too hard for a long time and burned out. They built the systems. They built these massive businesses. They hustled their asses off. And now, the prudent thing for them to do when they look and they assess their life, and they say, well I have the money, the business, the success, the authority, all those things, but I’m not happy.

So the answer for them is lean back. Get comfortable leaning back because that’s their energy leak. I’m hustling. I’m believing too much that I need to work hard in order to keep all of this success. What got me here will get me there. I’ve got to let go of that. In order to have the life that they want, in order to say, I’m a mom now.

How do I become a really great mom? Well, I need to spend more time with my kid. That’s them diagnosing their own scenario and saying, Yeah, I do need to pay more attention to me. Soft girl era is right for them because they have the structure and the hustle already. And to say that they needed more of that would be wrong. They need to lean on their teams more. They need to delegate more. They need to build and fine tune their systems so that they run even more efficiently without them. It’s a different game. If you don’t have the systems built, if you don’t have offers created, if you don’t have a delivery system where you can talk about what you do in a way that people listen and is inspiring them to buy, If you’re not bringing in consistent sales, then more leaning back, probably not going to be the thing that you need to put the most emphasis on.

Aligning with your design stops that cycle of over correction. What it’s doing is, it’s helping you come back to this place of, does this feel right? Does this feel right for me at this moment? Your body knows. Your intuition knows. It’s your mind that gets caught up in all of this. It’s your ego that gets caught up in all of this stuff. And to avoid that cycle of shifting from purely masculine hustle to purely feminine leaning back and airiness.

And you can do both. You can have both, and you need both. But if you’ve been leaning back a lot, then you probably don’t need to lean back more. If you’ve done all of the healing and the energy work, you’ve been at that for a really long time, then you have to identify your energy leaks, which is your conditioning.

You have to notice where you are self sabotaging the action taking portion of your life, and you need to find your gas pedal. And you need to build some structures that go alongside the leaning back. Build some structures, taking some action, getting things flowing, because the truth is that a lot of people who have been leaning back for a long time, you’re actually hiding in your healing.

You’re hiding in your healing. If you’ve been doing that for a long time, But you don’t have a solid offer to put out and you think that another mindset course, or energy practice, or Reiki healing is somehow going to unblock you? I’m not saying there’s not work to do there, that there aren’t blocks, but what I notice is that it requires both here.

I always refer to it with my clients like we have to learn to walk and chew gum. We have to heal while we’re taking action. And when you’re doing that, you get a lot more clarity about what needs to be healed, and you’re making progress. As opposed to, I have to go into a healing cocoon for months and months and months, I just need to get more in alignment.

You do, there’s alignment that’s necessary. There’s also action that’s necessary. We need to be doing both. These people who are leaning back hard, they have the action. They’re showing up. You’re reading their stuff. They either have a team that’s doing it for them really, really well, or they’re doing it themselves.

Because they figured out how to do it, and they don’t have a problem taking action. You have to identify what is your problem. Where are you stuck? And if it feels like you are unable to take action, a lot of times design can help you find that gas pedal. It can help you find your cruising gear, so you aren’t dealing with the conditioning constantly, trying to run through your resistance, trying to push through all the time. And you can actually gain some momentum.

People think that human design will solve all of my problems. It’ll solve some of them. And it will give you a tool to be able to solve your own problems, diagnose yourself, make correct choices, make decisions that are aligned with where you want to go, and not with where you are, or with what you’ve always gotten from the past.

It’ll give you a mechanism and a process to understand who you are and love the shit out of yourself. Really value yourself for the gifts that you have always had inside of you and really help you see your purpose. Tremendous confidence comes from that. But being in alignment with your human design does not mean you do not have to overcome your shit.

Overcoming your shit is overcoming the shadows in your design that are holding you back from your ultimate potential. There is masculine even in the feminine side of this stuff. This is why I teach human design along with the gene keys. Human design to me is very much the masculine side of alignment. It is helping you through action, through taking in the information that you’re given, assessing it through yourself, and then saying, if this, then do that. If I feel this, then I move. If I feel that, then I stay. In very crude terms, that is how this works.

The Gene Keys is the feminine side. What does this mean to me? How has this been a gift that has always been around me and in me and something people have always come to me for? How can I deepen my connection to that? That’s that more esoteric side of it which is so personal to you. That is the self discovery part of this journey. This is why human design is such a tool for self mastery.

And when we aim for sustainability and profitability through personal alignment and self mastery, this is why it is so important to truly be aligned in your own purpose. You have to be able to lead yourself through this, otherwise you’re always going to be questioning, and you’re always going to lack confidence.

So it always comes back to that. But masculine and feminine, you need a balance of this in your business. And I’ll give you an example from my own human design journey and my own business of how, like I said at the beginning, It isn’t, my chart says this so that means I have to do this.

Beware of anybody that is saying that type of thing to you. Because you have this, that means you have to do this. No, none of that is true. Your authority leads you. Don’t give your power away to anything or anyone, not even human design. It always comes back to, does this feel right for me? Does this feel right to me?

And then those tendencies, those best practices, those things to look out for can help to inform the decisions that you’re making. So here’s an example, I’ll give you an example from my business. The arrows in the chart, if you look at your chart, next to your head you’ll see arrows facing in and out.

They’ll either be turned left or turned right. And usually we have some combination of right and left ones, some people have all of them left. Some people have all of them right. What that tells us, without going into super depth about this,

we did an episode a long time ago on what the arrows mean. You can listen to that.

But what those arrows tell us is how our brain functions, how our energy functions, how we function in our environment, whether we are focused beings, whether we are more strategic, how our brain stores and digests information, all of that can be understood more deeply through these arrows.

I have what we call a passive brain, and the passive brain doesn’t actually know necessarily all that’s in there. My wisdom is not necessarily for me, it’s for other people. And there’s lots of aspects of my design that lend to that. I’m a 5/1, I’m transpersonal destiny, there’s so much in my design.

I was born under the quarter of duality in my incarnation cross, which is all about relationships. So much of it is not about me, it’s about other people. But my passive brain, I don’t know what I know. If I sit down and someone said, write a book on this topic.

I could write the book. So if you told me to write a book on human design, which I’m doing right now, so I’m talking about it from this perspective as well. When I sit down and I just decide to write the book, the thoughts don’t come. My best stuff comes when people ask me questions. So I utilize the feedback from this show.

I utilize my clients inside the Business By Design Mentorship. There’s a reason that I have private coaching, readings, as well as group coaching. And we do a lot of it in there where there’s a lot of interaction with me, with my clients, for both them and for me. Because I can create a course, and I have a lot of digital content that supports every member of the mentorship so that they can be learning when they are not with me on a call.

However, the best stuff, what they really need, is going to come from them asking me questions. And that will be the best stuff for them, but also there’s going to be things that they ask me where the answer that I give comes from a place that I could never have accessed myself. I couldn’t get to that juicy, perfect answer. There are some times where they ask me a question and I’m like, wow, that was brilliant. I pat myself on the back and I’m like, that came out perfectly and I couldn’t have planned it. I didn’t even know I knew that. I did, but I didn’t, I didn’t know I knew it like that.

I discover things about what I know through what people ask me. So I’ve structured my business in a way where it’s designed for people to be able to ask me lots of questions. There is a lot of personal interaction with me, and I’m trying to work to figure out ways that I can do that on a larger and larger scale so that it’s less dependent on my time for all of this.

But I also record everything. So I take transcripts of calls and I use AI to go through them to pull out some of these gold mines. I mark them on my page. At halfway through, I said something here that I want to go back to.

This is a highlight for me. I might make an episode from that insight that we got on that call. I might make a post out of that. That might go into my book. That’s because I’ve structured things so that I work with my strengths and not my weaknesses. If I just sat down and said, I just have to create everything digitally and I have to do it before I talk to them, before they’re ever in the program, I’m always creating new stuff for them.

Some question that somebody asks might make me record a new video and put it into the portal. Why? Because they told me what they needed. That responsiveness, that’s part of being a generator, but it’s also the way that my brain works. If I were just trying to create courses, and I have tried that, it doesn’t work, and what’s in those courses is very thin and usually not a great reflection of all that I know.

Yet people who have an active brain and a strategic mind, both, they know exactly what they want to say. They know exactly what’s in their mind. They know exactly how they want to structure things, and what people need to know. They just know. It’s different for them.

Mine is a more feminine approach is what I’m talking about. By me being more receptive helps me access my genius. Someone who has more masculine aspects of their design, they may not benefit from overly leaning into soft girl era. That might not be the most nurturing thing for them. We all need balance, but what does your balance look like?

So I hope that this helped you see one, how you can come back to yourself, ground in yourself, so that you can make better decisions. Decisions that are correct for you, and not just based on what other people are saying, or what they say they’re getting, and you saying, I want that thing, too.

That you’re able to come back to your own truth, and be led by your truth, and you can do that through your strategy and authority. I hope you’re seeing how there are certain aspects of your design. Openness is going to be much more feminine than the defined aspects of our chart. It’s going to be more what you put out in the world. More masculine in nature.

But how you can look at your chart and you can start to notice and understand a little bit more about which way you lean naturally more. Which might be why you lean into that more. Or maybe why you resist it, if it’s not what you were taught and you’ve been led by your conditioning.

Human design, I always say it’s a map to self mastery. It’s the map. It isn’t the treasure. You’re the treasure, and learning to operate yourself according to your design and according to your strengths, that’s the treasure. So I hope that we helped you navigate that a bit.

If you’re interested in the Business By Design Mentorship, again, all you have to do is DM me mentorship on Instagram.

I’m @NicoleLainoOfficial. We’ll send you the page. If you want to watch the replays of those videos while they are still up. It’s very limited time that they are up for still, DM me masterclass on Instagram and we will send you the replay to those sessions so that you can watch the soul strategy method in action and start to understand a little bit more about it and whether it’s right for you.

So thank you very much for making it to the end of this episode with me. I appreciate you. And remember, in order to have an unshakeable business, you must first become an unshakeable human. So thanks for letting us help you become unshakeable with human design, everybody. We’ll see you next time.