Episode 308
Are you struggling to tap into your magnetic potential and wondering why your human design journey isn’t delivering the success you desire? In this episode, Nicole unpacks the powerful concept of magnetism and explains how blending strategy with energetic flow can unlock new levels of alignment and attraction. She reveals why relying solely on traditional strategies often keeps you stuck and how shifting into a more intuitive approach can help you draw in the opportunities you’re seeking.
But what’s the real roadblock? It’s not just about following the steps—it’s about trust. Nicole shares the common pitfall that derails many: a lack of trust in their own process. She dives into how this self-doubt pulls you off your path and dulls your magnetism, offering insight on how to fully surrender to your design and stay aligned with your true purpose.
If you’ve been questioning your journey or feel stuck, this episode will guide you back to trusting your inner authority and embracing your own energy. Tune in to discover how to cultivate trust in the process and become truly magnetic in your life and business.
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Transcript
Hello and welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, everybody. I’m your host, Nicole Laino, and today we’re going to dive into the topic of one thing that’s keeping you from being successful with human design, that’s keeping you from being magnetic. I want to talk about this one thing, because this is something I’ve been teaching the Authority Accelerator Masterclass.
I taught it all last week, and it has been so much fun. And it has been such an incredible experience. Have you guys watched The Perfect Couple on Netflix? There’s that song, that Meghan Trainor song, like, Anything that feels this good. It must be illegal. That’s how I feel about this masterclass.
I’ve had so much fun in there with everybody. And it has just, the feedback, the energy that I’m getting back has been amazing. And in session two of the Authority Accelerator Masterclass, I talk about magnetism. Like that’s what the session is kind of about. It’s about being an authority to yourself and where magnetism really comes from.
And I break it down in pretty great detail. And I talk about how human design helps you become magnetic. I talk about what magnetism is and the role that it plays in our business. And there’s too much for me to cover here. And if you want to go back and watch the replays, they are up for a couple of more days.
So please go do that. All you have to do to register is just DM me Masterclass on Instagram. I’m @NicoleLainoOfficial, or go to nicolelaino.com/masterclass. You register there and you’ll get the replay link sent to you right away. So you can go watch it if you want to dive fully into it.
Register for the upcoming free 5-day masterclass, The Authority Accelerator in HD: Create Your Million Dollar Message in 5 Days Using Human Design at nicolelaino.com/masterclass
But I wanted to dive into this one concept because I never know in these sessions, in these masterclasses, I never know what the reaction is going to be. I never know what people are really going to grab onto. I try to make these new for me and for the participants every single time. Like, I revisit the content every time.
Sometimes I change a little. This time I changed a lot from previous masterclasses. I really shifted the way that I’m embodying this message the way that I’m understanding it, the way that it’s hitting me, so it comes out differently. Like, I rewrote a lot of it. So I never know what people are going to attach to.
I never know what’s going to be their big takeaway, but we always ask. And this was everybody’s big takeaway. There was so much of this that I think stood out, and what was really grabbing people and was like a big light bulb moment aha. And I want to share that with you. But what I want to highlight here is, let’s talk about magnetism.
And I’ve talked about this in previous episodes as well, where we’ve talked about strategy and energy. We’ve talked about masculine and feminine. We’ve talked about brute force and hustle. And we’ve talked about leaning back and being in flow and using your energy and magnetism to attract what you want.
We’ve talked about all of these concepts. And what we’re really talking about, and if you listen to this show or you were part of the Masterclass, you know my position on this is that you don’t need strategy or energy, you need both. And the strategy part is the 3D world, that’s the things that we want, the goals, hopes and dreams that we have.
And then it’s always asking that question of, what do we do to get there? The 3D world, the strategy side of things is plotting a course. It’s saying I want to get here, what are the steps that I need to take to get there? That’s what masculine energy does, that’s what strategy is all about. Masculine energy is traditionally very strategic, linear, planned, solid, supportive, right?
Then we have the energetic side, which is leaning back, flow, letting things come to us using our energy. And where a lot of times we get forced into exploring the energetic side is when the strategic side isn’t delivering. And I do find that there are certain people, certain types in human design, and I don’t mean by type, like the five types.
There are certain aspects of the human design chart that might lend to why some strategies don’t work so well for you. Like if you have a lot of right arrows in your variables. If you are more of a righty person, like I am, you’ll probably find that you need more flow in your life than you need structure.
And being overly structured, your energy is going to want to find some other way. And I do believe that we are all being called more to the energetic side because when the strategy doesn’t work, or as we shift as a collective, we’re noticing that the strategies that used to work all the time are not working anymore.
I talked about this in a recent episode where I talked about like this new paradigm in business. But we’re moving more toward the energetic aspects, and people feel that. People feel that we are being called to something different. That these cookie cutter strategies that have been out there for so long, they’re not working the way that they used to, and the buyer has changed.
The receiver of the information has changed. We’re they’re thinking and feeling deeper into the information that they’re being given. The energetics are what they’re tuning into. I don’t know why, but my intuition is saying not to jump into that anymore. Now you could call it experience, that they bought things and they didn’t get results, so now they are wary.
I would just call them more discerning. But they’re also listening with something different. They are making decisions with something different. It is an energetic game. I get a lot of people that are just sort of intrigued by me, and the way that I explain things, and they come to me and they are drawn to not just what I do, but the way that I do it.
And who I’m being as I put this out here. And people have either an attraction to me, or I’m not for them. And that is an unspoken conversation that’s happening with us all the time. There’s always an unspoken conversation happening between you and the people you’re trying to reach. The underneath all of the words that you’re saying. There is an unspoken conversation that is happening.
Now, this energetic shift, the shift to more energy than strategy, this pull to exploring ourselves and finding new ways to do things. We see it a lot, I see it a lot with the over 40 crowd and I look at that like almost in your 30s, you know, the biological clock starts ticking. I feel like in your 40s the Dharma clock starts ticking.
That peace inside of you that’s calling you to your purpose and saying it’s time. Not cause you’re running out of time, but just, it’s time. It’s time for you to figure out what you’re really here for. And we’re being pulled toward that purpose. So we explore things. We explore things like human design to get there, because human design does open us up to this stuff.
I think that that’s part of the big attraction to this system is the fact that it is calling you to probably what’s been calling you for a long time. It’s just giving you a new mechanism. Like I look at it, like it’s this translator for your intuition. It’s a way of you being able to look deeply inside of yourself and say, Oh, that’s the message I’ve been getting all along.
It just wasn’t clear. I didn’t understand it. It bridges this gap for us, which is why it’s so magical. But what I find and what I want to focus on is what people are looking to do with this and where they get stuck so often. And this was, like I said, a huge aha for people inside the Authority Accelerator Masterclass in Session 2.
That a lot of people are still, even though they’re following strategy and authority, they are following their human design path as they see it. And human design I think is very attractive because it does give us things to do, right? So with strategy- strategy is so appealing because the old way was to say, I want to get to here, I want this result, what are the steps that I need to take, what do I need to do to get there?
That feels very safe. Our mind loves that. It’s the game, right? The game of success in the 3D world is plot a course, put a spot on the map, and figure out what do you need to do in order to get there. It was simple. Not easy, but simple. It was just like, okay, now, burn yourself out and hustle until you reach that point.
But human design, I think why it’s so attractive to people is it’s this energetic game, but it still gives you things to do. Humans love things to do. We love to be like, okay, well, what do I need to do? Most common question I get in readings is like, okay, what do I do now? What do I do now with this? And that’s a really natural thing for humans to ask and to want to know.
I certainly wanted to know. And the biggest thing that we have to do is observe. You have to observe yourself and you follow your strategy and authority. There’s so much more to it, but at its core, at its base, that is what it is. But there’s one thing that fucks people up every single time with this. And no matter whether you are just starting your human design journey or you’ve been in it for a while, in the beginning, you’re dealing with this every day.
As you go in further, what happens is you have longer periods where you remain in alignment and then you have moments where you fall off. And I want to talk about this. Because the thing that fucks people up with following human design, with actually doing what needs to be done, or surrendering to what needs to be surrendered to. What actually screws them up every time and pulls them off course.
And dims, dulls their magnetism, squashes their success with human design, pulls them off their alignment, because we’re on alignment. When I talk about alignment, I talk about you’re on a path to your purpose. You were put on that road the moment you were born. If you follow strategy and authority, you’ll continue to stay on that road, on that path.
It’s our mind that pulls us off the path because it says no, you want that thing over there that somebody else told you you should want. Or you want that thing over there that you’ve convinced yourself is what you want and now you’re charting a course to get there. But meanwhile, your dharma was to go someplace slightly different or maybe radically different.
I don’t know. I never know where the path leads. None of us do. I don’t know where my path leads. I’m just open and trusting in the fact that if I keep following my process. I will get to wherever that is, and wherever that is, is for my highest and best good. And I understand that sometimes that path will not be comfortable, but being unshakable as I call it. Being able to trust my own inner authority, which allows me to be an outer authority to others.
To embody this work so I can actually teach it with integrity. Is to be able to lean back into that and say, I trust that I’m being led and I’m being led by me. And if there are moments, that does not mean I make every decision correctly. I do not. I make bad decisions, sure. I just own them, I see them, I recognize them, I process them, and I correct them where I can, and I own them where I, can’t, and I see them through, and I make the best of it, and I make better decisions from that moment on.
It’s feedback. Oh, I see where I actually screwed that up. For me, it’s usually I just didn’t wait long enough. I didn’t wait out my wave long enough. I got pushed into making a decision earlier than I should have. I got pushed by the outside world to make a decision faster because my mind said I was running out of time that that deadline actually mattered and I made a decision and it turned out not to be right.
And if I really look at it, was it really right and not right? Or did I make the decision incorrectly? Most of the time I look at them like, you got a little pushed there, Nicole. You stood up for yourself a little bit, you waited a little bit longer, but you really weren’t ready.
And instead of sitting in a maybe and waiting, you said yes, or you said no. That’s what happens most of the time. But 95 percent of the people that I talk to. Whether I coach them, or I do readings with them, or I just talk to them about human design, talk to people about human design all the time, most people think that they’re following human design.
But the thing that they aren’t doing, which screws them up every single time, is they are not trusting. They are not trusting their process. They are not surrendered to it. And by surrendered, like I always look at human design as giving you a process for surrendering. Everybody says surrender is necessary for enlightenment, for growth, for quantum leaps.
We have to surrender. We have to surrender to what is. But I think human design gives us a little bit more of a safety net to fall into to say like, Okay, well at least I know what I’m surrendering to. To me, I’m surrendering to response. I’m surrendering to waiting. I’m not surrendering to my conditioning.
What I find is, the longer you work with HD, and the longer you are in your human design process, you’ll find that you have longer periods of trusting, of surrendering to it, of doing it. And then you’ll have a pocket where you feel like the world is falling apart. And you’re questioning everything, and you’re confused, and you’re like, What if it’s all wrong?
You’re scared, usually. But there’s these pockets where you stop trusting, and you start to mentally question it. And that is what screws everybody up. The mental questioning of the process is this low grade frequency of not trusting underneath. It’s like, was that a response? Was that a response?
I don’t know if that was a response. I think it was a response. I’m waiting for a response. I’m not getting any responses. That is the mind and it will pull you off your course every single time. And it fucks up the process. It screws you up. It messes with you. And I get it. This is not me yelling at anybody.
This is me saying, I have been there and I can talk about it because I know it. I want to talk about what’s happening when the mind kicks in. The mind doesn’t like not being in control. It’s very used to that job. It likes it. It feels safe doing that. It is the matrix, the mind, the program, however you want to put it, whatever word or label you want to put on there, it It is the matrix, the program, the mind.
Pulling you back to its power and away from where it doesn’t feel like it has control. You have to keep trusting most of all in those times when you’re in the wrestling match with the mind. And it isn’t about struggling with it. It’s about observing it. People always wonder, what do I hire a human design coach for?
What would I join a program about human design for? Why would I need mentorship in this? Because it’s very difficult to see these things when you’re in it. It’s very difficult to notice the program that you’re in when you’re deep inside of it. It really is helpful and life changing when you have somebody who, in those moments when you’re freaking out, can ask you, where is this coming from?
Is it coming from your mind’s need to be able to see this whole path and to understand what’s going on? Because alignment doesn’t really understand things necessarily. You’re surrendered to the process and trusting that the process is leading you somewhere and it’s where you wanted or something different, but whatever it is, it’s better than you could have hoped.
We have to do that, we have to step out of the way, or you are still playing that strategic game. And you’re wondering why the energy stuff isn’t working. It’s because that frequency of fear that you have going on underneath, you’re waiting for response, you’re waiting for invitations. You’re freaking out that you’re sensitive to all of this information in your openness, that you’re succumbing to it and you’re becoming it.
You’re becoming your conditioning rather than being able to observe it. Like I said, this is not me putting anyone down for being in those places. That’s what it is to be human, learning to live a new way. And there are absolutely complications and difficulties and challenges that come with each type, with each authority, with each design.
I call it tension in the chart. There’s always some sort of challenge that different people have to overcome. I have a split definition that pulls me in six directions. That was one of my bumpier parts of my road, was figuring out how that conditioning was always pulling me, always freaking me out, always causing me to invest in people who had those qualities, thinking I needed to get them and someone needed to teach me how to be those.
That was one of mine. Other people might be so open that you’re pulling in other people’s energy all the time that you feel so overwhelmed by it that you don’t know how to get through life. But you don’t realize that you’re thinking about it. You’re thinking about how uncomfortable you are. You’re worrying.
You are magnifying. It’s actually other people’s stuff that you’re probably feeling and you think it’s yours. And you’re not trusting that you will be recognized or you’re not trusting that there will be a response on the other end. You’re not trusting that the thing that you want will come through for you.
This is the most common thing that I see, you’ve heard the phrase probably, don’t quit before the magic happens. That so many people will tell you that success is usually right around the corner from your biggest breakdown. I have certainly been there. Quantum leaps don’t typically come from like happiness, happiness, growth, happiness, happiness, quantum leap.
It’s like happiness. Soul, ego, death, where you feel like a dark night of the soul. And then you come through that period and you feel like a new person. And you just left so much of yourself behind that no longer served you. The toughest thing about doing this work is you have to trust to keep walking when it gets hard.
You have to keep trusting. It’s when trusting matters the most. And that’s when you lean into your healing tools. That’s why having nervous system regulation practices. That’s the reason I meditate. I do breath work every single day. I do that every day. I tap, I do all sorts of things to work through what I’m feeling so that I’m able to remain in good clean energy as I go through this, so I’m able to trust.
So I’m able to when my mind gets scared about will this all work out? I can still stay in the energy of I get to have what I want. It’s this or something better and I keep my energy attached to the feeling that I want to create in my life, the life that I want and I’m okay with it looking differently than what I have pictured in my head. I’m just setting the scene.
I’m just saying, this is how I wanna feel. This is what I’m going after. This is how I wanna help. This is what I’m trusting in right now, but I’m open to the path changing and that’s okay. I trust. That takes a very deep level of self trust. But that is why I can be an unshakeable rock for the people that do trust me.
So if you’ve fallen into this, I hope that this was useful for you. I hope that this gave you some insight into if you’re following strategy and authority, if you feel like you are following your design, and at times you’re wondering why it’s not working, that you can look at this. I hope that this gives you a point of reference for you to notice what you have going on internally.
What is your mental process like? Are you questioning? Do you have a mental process that’s going on that is constantly questioning whether it’s working, how it’s working, where you’re going? Are you trying to control alignment? It doesn’t really work that way. And that’s okay if you’re doing it.
But can you just shift? You don’t have to fix it. You just have to go from being unconsciously on autopilot, following that. So what I mean by that is, you want to go from being on autopilot, just worrying and thinking about this and questioning and being in the energy of, is this working?
Is this working? I don’t know. Where am I going? I’m so scared. I’m so worried. You go from that unconscious feeling which, usually people feel like they’re trying to fix it. Like they’re trying to improve and they’re trying to figure things out, but they don’t realize that they’re actually just feeding the beast of fear.
And instead you don’t have to fix it. What I hope this does is it gets you to just pause and go, Oh, there’s that thing Nicole was talking about. What if I just stopped now and observed it? What if I got quiet and observed it? What if I felt all the feelings that I’m feeling right now and actually processed them?
This is what I teach inside my Business by Design mentorship. This is what we focus on. It’s the, how do you become the most self actualized, regulated, energy efficient, and purpose filled. version of yourself and then also giving you the tools to build a business because we do still live in the 3D world.
We do still need to eat and feed our families and pay our bills and live in homes and all of that stuff and we also get to have fun with our money, too. We get to be abundant. We get to be successful. But can we do it in a way that’s nurturing to us and serves our purpose? That’s the goal. And that’s what we try to marry inside the program.
So I hope that you saw a little glimpse into how this piece works. And this is a core foundation of living in alignment, of being magnetic, of being an authority, and really being successful with human design. The key to your success with human design is really trusting in the process and allowing and trusting that being magnetic does happen.
That you are magnetic when you are in the energy of who you’re meant to be. And if you’re not finding that you are magnetic and you’re not attracting what you want, I hope this gives you something to look at to say, Am I doing that thing Nicole mentioned? That’s interesting. And just see what you find there and take a pause.
I hope you found this helpful. I hope that it inspires you to jump into the masterclass and check this out. If you liked this. You can go into the entire session where I break the whole thing down and really walk you through this whole process and I break down how this looks for each of the types inside session two.
All you have to do to register is to go to nicolelaino.com/masterclass. You could register on the website or you could DM me masterclass on Instagram. I’m @NicoleLainoOfficial, and we’ll just register you right there in the DMs and then you’ll get an email with the replay link. Simple.
Register for the upcoming free 5-day masterclass, The Authority Accelerator in HD: Create Your Million Dollar Message in 5 Days Using Human Design at nicolelaino.com/masterclass
All right. Thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you. And remember, in order to have an unshakable business, you must first become an unshakable human. So thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with human design, everyone.
We’ll see you next time.
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