Episode 330

Nicole Laino: Hello and welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, everybody. I’m your host, Nicole Laino. And for once, I am not here by myself, people. I have a guest with me today that I’m very excited to introduce you all to, because I think that this sort of blends the strategy and energy piece that we always try to bring together on the show.

I’m very excited to have this conversation. With her and with you all and to introduce you to her and to her work. So my guest today is Alacia Citro. She’s a corporate dropout like moi, who traded her lucrative career at tech giants, Google and Salesforce for a life of meaningful entrepreneurship. A pivotal encounter, and I’m going to ask about this, on a flight from Maui, ignited her transition from the corporate world to becoming a life coach and a passionate advocate for creating fulfillment through full expression and authenticity.

She is also, to give you her human design creds, she is also a one for pure generator, and she is a vessel of love incarnation cross. I am so excited to have you here, Alacia. Welcome to the show.

Alessia Citro: Nicole, thank you for having me. I’m so excited to be here.

Nicole Laino: So I want to dive into like the encounter going to Maui. So what happened that shifted you that said like, I can’t do this anymore? What, I don’t want to say the word forced, but usually there is some sort of moment. I know I had my moment of saying, I can’t do it anymore. What was your moment that you said like, Buy Google, , buy big tech, and I’m going to go do something that doesn’t really have like a clear cut path.

 It’s very unknown. I’m going to step into the unknown. I should also say that your book is called Higher Self Habits, which is what we’re going to be talking about today. But what caused your transition from corporate to entrepreneurship? What was that encounter going to Maui or whatever it was that shifted you?

Alessia Citro: It was the clearest sign from the universe in the form of my seatmate Jodi telling me, I know we were meant to sit together because when I saw you walked on the aisle, I knew I needed to talk to you. And then she gave me my sign, but let me give a little bit of context to this. I had been super successful in tech sales, right?

And I started a new role at Google on March 2nd, 2020. So you could do the math of what happened one week later. Now, at the time, my daughter was 15 months old, her daycare closes, and I am now in the most. Complex, technical, highly demanding role of my entire career, and I’m able to work three hours a day while she naps.

And so for me, why I left was because of the existential identity crisis that resulted and the shift in my priorities that followed. If you have been identifying yourself with external circumstances the way that I was, which was, Oh, I’m a top performer. I’m a quota crusher. I’m so good at my job. Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah.

And all of a sudden that gets taken from you. Suddenly you have to think, well, without that, who am I really? And that December of 2020, my beloved grandpa passed away. And I feel like I got so many signs from him after he departed to kind of nudge me towards my truth. That’s a longer story too, and then grandma passed and I got more of those signs from her as well.

But, you know, I ended up having to take a medical leave for the deep depression that happens after your identity gets pulled from you. I go back and it’s better for a little while until it’s not again. And so the day that I met Jodi on the plane, we’d been in Maui. I had a call with a customer.

, it was a deal that wasn’t really that great for him, but it was really good for us. And he and I got on the phone, just the two of us. And we had to come to Jesus. And I was like, if I’m you, I’m not doing this deal. And I get why you’re not about it. And I, we hung up the phone and I was like, I can’t do this anymore. I’m not doing anything that’s like bettering the customers, bettering the world, bettering myself. What am I doing? So we go to the airport and , last minute upgrades come through. I end up sitting next to Jodi in first class and she says, I knew I needed to talk to you. You are meant to do something bigger and you have everything that you need to do it right now.

So then I was still drinking at the time. I’m alcohol free now, but then we ended up drinking Tito’s and soda all the way back to LAX. We deboarded the plane and I told my husband, I’m going to quit my job tomorrow and the rest is history.

Nicole Laino: I actually got emotional listening to you tell your story, so thank you for sharing openly by grandparents and just, because I do think that break in identity, I remember that feeling, and mine was a bit different, it wasn’t like I was not able to perform anymore, to me, it was, I don’t know who I am not being this and I don’t like it anymore.

Now what? And I remember like some of the things, when I look back on it, it didn’t feel weird to me then. But when I look back on it, I was like, Oh my God, it was like my higher self was trying to do things for me. It was trying to tell me, and I was trying to compensate, which is what I’m really good at.

I’m really good at like pulling things and being like, I’ll work it out. I’m a five one, I’ll fix it. And so for me, I lost myself and I wasn’t feeling like myself. I took improv classes because I was like, I don’t feel like I know how to respond as like myself anymore. So I just need to go someplace. Where I just yes and I just have to just really be present because I don’t feel present anymore And then I became a makeup artist because i’m like, I don’t feel like I have a creative outlet anymore And I kept trying these other things to add on to my already like 60 hour week I was like, I know what i’ll do with my weekends.

I’ll do weddings Because that sounds stress free, but I was just so desperate to feel something again. And because I couldn’t let go of that identity, because I couldn’t let go of like, well who am I if I’m not this paycheck, if I’m not this building, if I’m not associated with I can remember feeling like pride looking at my badge with like the big bank name on it.

 I get to come in here and I’m part of this whole thing. Even when everybody hated Banks. I was proud. And that was part of my whole thing. And now, you know, it’s very funny. Like I have a different identity. So I want to ask you, what do you identify with now?

Alessia Citro: I love this question and I love the answer I’m about to give you too. I really liken what happened after I left big tech, you become an entrepreneur and I joke that like personal development is no longer optional because you got no big logo to hide behind. It’s just you, right?

So if you don’t master the six inches between your ears, it’s going to become pretty evident pretty quick in terms of your business, right? I go down this road of, you know, spiritual awakening, I would call it too. And, I identify now as being a child of God that chose to incarnate, to play the game of life and experience what it feels like to live full out and to step into my potential as best as I am able.

Nicole Laino: Beautiful. And I love that there’s such openness in that. There’s no like, and I do this and I have to do that. It’s just sort of like, this is kind of what I’m here for. And looking at your human design chart and I want to talk about the book. There’s so much I want to talk about. I’m like, Oh, I’ve got, we’ve got so much because you and I met at a dinner after the powerhouse women event and we got to talking about your book and I was taken in by the title.

Great title, by the way, Higher Self Habits, because it does say like, I. Believe that we need like we live in the material world, baby Like it’s not all energy if you’ve figured out how to work the pure manifestation where you just think about shit Don’t do anything and money comes to you. Let’s talk because I would love to know your secrets.

I haven’t figured that out I have learned to make energy work for me. So the things that I do are more productive, are more successful, and that I have a better relationship with the things that I do, and I no longer identify with that stuff. That energy has become another tool and way of living that has made me go through life open and more aligned.

But we started talking about this, and one of the things that I noticed was, you have the channel, I run everybody’s chart when they come on the show, by the way. You have the channel of rhythm, which is about habits, which is about. Being in flow, but also being in habits. It is this kind of, relationship between finding your own flow and your own rhythm and Also respecting the rhythms of nature.

There’s a lot of themes there. These channels and these gates and everything, all the energies in the human design chart are very multi dimensional. But in its essence, it is about saying, I do what feels right to me. I have schedules and routines and rhythms that support my life. But I also am open to the flexibility of that changing and I’m not so rigid with the routines and the structure that I can’t work outside of them.

Just sometimes people with five, the 515 channel can get really mad when people get in the way of their routine and their habits and their stuff. , that’s just the shadow peeking out, just being like, ah, you know, , , but the high expression of it is to respect. All of the natural rhythms and starting with our own and starting with just the way that we operate.

So I love when someone’s design is making its way through their life already. But what are higher self habits to you? So what’s the difference between habits and higher self habits?

Alessia Citro: Oh my God. Okay. I’m still kind of processing cause you just connected so many dots for me with the rhythm thing. So we’ll touch on that in a second. But what differentiates higher self habits from regular habits is that typically regular habits are the root, the rigidity, the routine, the structure.

They feel constricting to me anyway. And actually as a bit of context, I’m like the least likely person to write a book about habits. Because while I do like my own unique rhythm, let’s talk about that more in a second, I bristle at regimented, , cookie cutter, repetitive stuff. I hate that actually. I’m very spontaneous, free spirit, like to go where the wind blows me to an extent.

If there’s something in my chart about that too, you’ll have to tell

Nicole Laino: That’s in there, too. Yeah, we can talk some more. You’re a quad right, so there’s, which is a whole other thing that would totally jive with what you just

Alessia Citro: Well, okay. That makes a lot of sense then. Cause these things feel like they’re at odds with each other, but they’re not. And then there’s also the cycle syncing piece to this. So I think for men who operate on a 24 hour hormone cycle, every day is kind of like Groundhog Day in terms of their physicality.

 They wake up with a surge of energy. It’s the same day in, day out. Us women, we’re on a 28 day ish hormone cycle. Every day is a little bit different. It’s like, choose your own adventure. You know, am I in my follicular? Am I in my ovulatory, my luteal, my menstrual, right? We’re going to feel different all those days.

So I think having said all that habits, as we typically think about them, the structure, the routine, the repetition that works really well for men. And I’m sure some women that doesn’t work for me. I needed habits that incorporated spirituality, how I’m feeling in a given day. I also, I’m the type where if something doesn’t make sense, if it feels arbitrary, or like someone is just telling me that I should do something, I question it.

So I need the science to back it up. So for me, Higher Self Habits is also, Hey, this actually works. Here’s why. And then the strategy as well. So you put that all together and what you end up with is a very flexible framework. For you to really view your habits and routines as more of a menu in which to live full out however you are feeling that day, while still remaining accountable, you know?

If you feel like just being in sloth mode all day, well, there are some days that we need that, but this at least gives you guardrails to make sure that every day you’re getting something done, you’re being in the energy of that person that you wish to become, your higher self. And you do that enough days.

And before you know it, you’ve ascended into a much better version of yourself without the guilt and the shame and the boredom.

Nicole Laino: I want to ask you 

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Nicole Laino: a question about how do you choose off of your menu personally?

Alessia Citro: Okay. So the example I love to give, is, the miracle morning, Hal Elrod. He came up with this, this framework where there’s six things you do every morning, SAVERS is the acronym, silence, affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading, and scribing, right? Let’s use that , as an example. I’m going to pick one.

Maybe two off the menu, depending how I’m feeling that day. When I’m in my luteal, I probably want to exercise plenty to get some of this energy out, right? If I am, in more of a reflective state, maybe I’m, in my menstrual phase, journaling sounds really good, right? When I’m in my follicular and I’m ideating and I’m thinking about what I could create, I love visualizing.

I love to journal, to say affirmations, to think, you know, ahead. So that’s kind of how I would base it at a really high level, but I know what works well for me. These are just a few examples. And I know what my baseline habits need to be. And I just maintain those and then do a little extra if and when I feel like it.

But I’ve really taken out the guilt of like, I have to have this perfect morning routine and I have to wake up at 5am because that’s not realistic. And that’s a really good way to feel crappy about yourself. 

Nicole Laino: A hundred percent. And so is it an intuitive sort of, are you looking at your cycle and saying, or are you just sort of tuning in and saying, like, this is what I need today?

Alessia Citro: It’s a little bit of both, but yeah, I’m one of those people that once I learned about cycle syncing, I was 36 years old, by the way, and I was actually furious. I’m like, I have had my period since I was 12 years old. Why am I just now finding out about this? So now it is a repeating event, each phase on my Google calendar.

I’ve got three different tracking apps, which is excessive. I could probably delete two of them. I always know where I’m at. So that informs it. But then I also just go off of the intuition. Like what is going to make me feel good right now? What do I need? Right. And then celebrating when I do it to wire that in as a great activity that moved my day and my life.

Well,

Nicole Laino: the reason I asked is because you’re a generator and that’s actually one of the techniques that I give to generators inside my program is to treat things like a menu. And I use that exact term because I think that’s also a great way to experiment with your design with that gut reaction.

Cause when you read a menu. If you notice, it’s like you’re internally going, yes or no, or I don’t know, read the whole thing and then read it again. So after that I can start to like, you’re getting, it’s an intuitive sort of guidance of like what you should eat at that moment, what feels good to you. And so the fact that you call it that, like I have people, I have a whiteboard.

And so I put all of my important projects and things up there. And so this is how, as a manifesting generator, I stay not distracted, because it’s very easy for us to do that, but I also can’t be bored. So I do usually have a few balls up in the air to keep everything interesting for me. I just try to choose the right balls to be playing.

Now I’m not going to say balls playing with, but you get the idea. That I’m gonna juggle the right ones at the moment, but I’m gonna choose off of that menu So I’m not doing frivolous stuff when I know that there are things that need to be done without being rigid about it if I need to move my energy in a different way I do that if I need to take a walk if I need to just enjoy myself if it’s just feeling like too much I need to go have fun If I’m frustrated, I need to go have fun.

 So you mentioned when we hopped on the call, before we hopped on the call, that you had So you have, I mentioned, your 5 15 channel of rhythm. The 15 is the gate of extremes. You’re a vessel of love person. So the 15 is one of your prime gifts. It is your conscious earth. You said you had a history, , an experience with extremes.

And so I would love if you shared with us just that, because I do really like to Point out, not just give you like, oh, and she has these centers and this defined. It’s so much more useful, I feel, to the people listening, to be able to hear, like, how this stuff shows up in your life. And especially because this is a prime gift of yours.

People are always like, how do I use my incarnation cross? And It’s not really how it works, but it’s difficult to explain. So if you could tell me what you were going to share, cause you didn’t share it with me exactly how it worked, but what was your history with extremes? What happened with that theme for you?

Alessia Citro: I told you before we hit record too, I know enough about my design to be dangerous, not an expert in it, but I will say when I began learning about it, this was one of the things that made me feel so validated, Nicole. Let me give you a little glimpse into what the gift of extremes has looked like for me.

 Okay, I’ll give you one example. I didn’t even mention this. At the same time, around when I was leaving Google, I also had a seven figure online wine business. And again, this was during COVID, I was drinking an awful lot. And now I’m alcohol free, as I mentioned, right? I had to venture into the extreme of overdoing it so that I could learn about that, learn why it was not for me, and then go the other way and help other people become curious about their own relationship.

 If I venture too far, I end up finding the gift. and making it such. Another thing, when I was in my 20s, I got really into running. Okay, that’s nice enough to just go for a jog, but no, I have the gift of extremes. That was not enough for me. So I completed, notice I did not say ran, two Chicago marathons.

Because, hey, if you’re, go big or go home, right? All or nothing. Do it right or don’t do it. If any of the last few things I just said resonated with you, by the way, you too may have a gift of extremes, or at least think that you should. How that also looks. I honestly wonder, my daughter is a manifesting generator, and I feel like I really have mani gen tendencies.

I am interested in so many things. I’m pretty good at a lot of different things, too. Kind of like Jane of all trades, master of, Some, but one, example of this before we, went on a trip to South Africa earlier this year, my friend was getting married there. We go on a safari and I’m like, this is a bucket list trip.

I got to take wildlife photos. So I already had the camera. I’m like, let me learn everything there is to learn about photography. So in three weeks, I went so deep into photography, learned all about it. Rented the lenses. I have beautiful pics to show for it too. And I have not picked up the camera since.

So it’s like, and my husband now, he has been with me now for 11 years. He knows this. I get interested in something and I go all in on learning about it. Also might be my one line, the investigator. I definitely could have

Nicole Laino: I was going to say,

Alessia Citro: yeah,

Nicole Laino: that’s a one line thing. Yeah, one lines, like we’re just, I’m the exact same way, like I’m a five one, so I have the one on the unconscious side. But one’s a one, that’s just how we work. It’s like we go deep to the bottom of the ocean on something and then that may satisfy us. We may be very happy being like completely immersed in something for a while and then be like, okay, bye, 

Alessia Citro: Yeah. And

Nicole Laino: you in a few years.

Alessia Citro: And with habits too. I mean, that can be kind of challenging, right? Cause it’s like, Oh, , I’m going to start this new habit. But I’m going to. Cook dinner every night. Well, are you really going to be able to do that? I mean, that’s maybe not the best example, but for me it’s been, okay.

I

Nicole Laino: Meal prepping.

Alessia Citro: right.

Nicole Laino: kind of thing, I’m gonna do all the meals for the whole week. And I’m, I feel like that’s one that people fall off the wagon with a lot, because it’s a lot of work and it’s a lot of pressure and it’s not actually serving you completely all the time. It is in one way, but in a lot of ways it might be actually causing more harm than good because it’s disruptive.

 But I wanted to just, on the extremes thing, I wanted to say, I just wanted to call out that I think that people, when you’re working on yourself, a lot of times you’ll find your way to your design. Like, it’s, this isn’t the only path that you can take to your alignment, it does just sort of show you what it is that if you find this first while you’re trying to figure it all out and those other things haven’t worked, that it can lend real specificity to why you do the things that you do and maybe where you need to look at, and what I wanted to call out about what you did was, you talked about how, like, it was the shadow of extremes that showed you what the gift was.

And most people won’t walk through that darkness, won’t look at it long enough. They’re just like, tell me why I’m awesome. And it’s like, I’ll tell you what your potential is. But usually, when they’re wondering, like, how do I use this? It’s like, see how it’s using you first. See how this thing is maybe like, to me, I think the shadows illuminate the gift a lot.

And when you can start to see it, you’re like, okay, well there, here’s gate 15. It’s this. What else is it? Okay, I see the darkness, I see the shadow, I see the thing that’s maybe kind of messing with me. Okay, cool, I’ve identified that particular dial. Now I can start to play with it and tune it and turn it up and find that gift.

That’s the power to me, because we could be searching around in the dark looking for gifts. Or we could say like, Oh, well here, it’s right here. Like what would happen if you examined these key things in your life and these key themes and see how are they already at play for you? And a lot of people won’t do that work and it’s work.

 Your conscious son, it’s like your greatest gift. Yours is authenticity. So you talk about authenticity. But most people, like in Gene Keys, we call it the, it’s called your life’s work. Most people won’t do the work. They’re just like, tell me what it is and let me put it into my copy. Let me build a business around it and a brand around its authenticity.

And it’s like, well, until you’ve had a journey with it, you don’t really have anything to offer anyone. And people just want that quick thing. And I’m not yelling at you if you’re listening and this is you, this is just sort of me calling you up, not calling you out. But just really, if you start to pay attention to this stuff, this is where you find your magic.

And I love that you found that on your own, that you noticed these things and then the chart comes and it’s like, oh, hello, there it is, there’s my wine running and marathons and here’s this history with extremes, now that I see it, my relationship changes to it, now it can actually be a gift because there’s great flexibility.

In the 15, like that is the gift is this kind of flexible fluidity with things. That’s we get to do one end to the other. We get to do that, but. Let me be aware of it and not unconscious to it happening where I’m, ’cause that’s the other thing. The, the five and the 15, that whole channel, both of those gates, five is about routines and fixed patterns.

Those fixed patterns can be pretty darn bad and it can be having great habits, or it can have be having really shitty habits that are detrimental to your health and to your life and to your success.

Alessia Citro: yeah,

Nicole Laino: so just in order to interject that there, because it just felt you were such a beautiful, you gave such a beautiful example of how you work with this stuff.

Even when you don’t know you’re working with the human design, you’re working with something where you’re like, oh, what would happen if I shifted this? What could I change here? But I want to talk about like, What is, so someone buys Higher Self Habits, someone is looking to dive into creating Higher Self Habits for themselves.

What are you taking them through? What would you like them to know about the process that you lay out in your book?

Alessia Citro: Oh, I love this question. I think the biggest piece I could impart is that it’s actually a lot easier and simpler and more enjoyable than you’re probably thinking it is when, because for so many of us habit is kind of like. Like a dirty word, like, Oh, something else I have to do that I don’t want to do.

Or I got to force myself. I got to buck up and it’s not that at all. So I take the reader through five stages. There’s awareness, alignment, audit, activation, and then ascension. And what we do in those five stages is first illuminate what are the limiting beliefs and the fears. holding you back as well as the shared neural architecture that keeps us playing small unless we are aware of it and choose to overwrite it.

Like the reason that you care about people’s opinions of you is not because you’re weak or care too much what people think. No, it’s because you have an ancient brain that has not evolved for modern conditions and things you still have to acquiesce so you don’t get kicked out of the tribe and die in the wilderness, right?

So learning about some of these limitations is helpful. You become aware of that. Then you move into alignment. Who is your higher self? If it could be like the angel on the shoulder whispering in your ear of, Ooh, this is your next step. What if you reacted like this instead? What if you tried that? Like we’re looking for that, but you get such a crystal clear vision of who this version of you is down to how she dresses, how she does her hair, what her vibe is like, all of it.

It literally becomes like an alter ego to an extent that you can embody. And then act as, then with auditing, I show you where to start, stop, and continue behaviors and which to begin with. I actually borrow quite a bit from Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. And if you’re not familiar with that, Abraham Maslow, he was an early, 20th century psychologist who created this hierarchy.

And a lot of the time when we jump into personal development, we’re like, Ooh, let me self actualize, which is the top of the hierarchy. But maybe the thing that you actually need to focus on right now is not skipping lunch every day, which I’m guilty of doing often. Maybe it’s drinking more water. Maybe it’s getting more sleep.

You cannot be the best version of yourself if you’re not meeting your basic physiological safety connection needs, right? And then from there, activation, I show you how to design behaviors to make them habits, as well as how to design your way out of behaviors. And I tell people, if you cannot stick to a behavior or a habit, it is not a you problem.

It’s not a matter of, Oh, you don’t have enough willpower. You’re not motivated enough. It is a design problem. You are probably making it too hard to do without even realizing it. It takes so little friction for us to not do something. And I show you how you can eliminate the friction, find your desired habit, and then make it itty bitty so that you can do it day in, day out, come hell or high water, maintaining that baseline, wiring it in for good.

 And then ascension, that’s when you’ve completed one revolution of this process. You unlock new levels of awareness. And here we go again, your upward spiral

Nicole Laino: I love that, because, and a lot of people are surprised when I When they come into my programs and they work with me and I’m not giving them all cosmic advice. It’s not all about like their activations and their gifts. It’s like, no, here’s like the structure of how you start to work with this. I just try to not force someone who’s quad right.

Like you are where there is more flow in your nervous system. Your nervous system needs that. I don’t want you feeling like you need to have a rigid, dictated schedule that you need to stick to all the time. If you have an open ego, that might be really hard for you. So there’s considerations to how you set the framework, but the framework is still needed.

And I love how you broke that down into really clean steps of, and I, and using Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, because yes, we can be looking like, I want that. And we are taught to sort of look at like, go after what you desire, have big dreams, have big goals but if you’re not looking at what you actually need and can’t assess what you need at this moment then you will probably find that you are in a consistent cycle of not being successful.

And it’s almost like you’re, you keep stepping down and there’s, but there’s a hole in the ground and your foot keeps going through it. Like you’re not going to climb the steps if the one that you step on keeps breaking. You gotta shore up that first step first.

Alessia Citro: I compare it to playing Whack A Mole. You know that game in the arcade? It’s like, oh I whacked that mole. Oh crap, now that one popped up. Like,

Nicole Laino: Uh huh.

Alessia Citro: you don’t want to be playing Whack A Mole in life. And the way that you stop that is by shoring up the basics. That are so boring. And then, think of how much energy and mental capacity that also frees up if you get the basics dialed in on autopilot, no more decision fatigue.

Right now you can focus on the higher order stuff that actually matters to you and makes you fulfilled.

Nicole Laino: I think that’s why we’re seeing such a huge shift to nervous system regulation and putting a priority on, managing your energy well and not taxing your internal system. Because if your nervous system, if you’re constantly battling flight, freeze. You’re game over, like you’re just going to get real burnt out real fast or you’re going to push through it and then you’ll crash eventually, might succeed.

And this happens to a lot of us in the corporate world where we’re just going and going because the expectations are there, our identities all wrapped up in it, in the entrepreneurial world, it’s these people who had eight figure businesses, have run really hard, had all of this success and you’re hearing them now talk about like, no, I’m like all about, Jammies and coffee till 11 a.

m. until I feel like working and stuff and hanging out with my kids and nervous System regulation is in for me. It’s because it’s an we over we extremed We over corrected and now this is the lesson we’re learning and now the key is to find that middle ground of where you’re doing that basic work and then, that energetic work, the exploring work, the observation work, and then there’s also something that is clearly moving you forward, where you’re taking action toward the things that you want, not just being like, okay, well, I’m regulated.

Everything’s going to be better now. Think there’s a consistent thing that I see where people will be like, I did this nervous system regulation thing and it just didn’t work. And it’s like, I feel better, but I didn’t make any more money.

And it’s like, well, what else did you do? And they’re like, well, no, I invested a lot of money in that and I didn’t get my ROI. And it’s like, but you didn’t do anything to make the money. Were you making money before? There’s just that like, and I feel like it’s a conversation that, I love when people come on and they speak about both sides.

They’re talking about the balance between things. It’s higher self habits.

Alessia Citro: Yeah. And what about the ROI for that? From some of these things that can’t be quantified, what is your health worth from a monetary standpoint? What is your joy? What is having increased presence, better energy worth, like sometimes I

Nicole Laino: Of course.

Alessia Citro: bit to catch up to all of that, but you shouldn’t be doing it just for money either, you know?

Nicole Laino: Well, I think when we’re entrepreneurs, you know where you said it before about how this, it’s a crash course in personal development. You’re either going to work on yourself or you’re going to get run over by this business. It’s gonna take you down, so you have to do it.

 It’s not optional. It’s necessary. So when you’re going through that, but there’s also this, you’re trying to move two balls down the court. And I think it’s a lot of the messaging too. People tell you that all you need is the one thing, cause it’s easier to sell stuff when you tell people that all you need is the one thing.

All you need is this. This is what I did and I made two million dollars yesterday. And it’s like, right, but you were making a million and a half the day before that. So it’s not like it’s, there’s not a whole story there. And people make decisions out of lack because they want something, they want to change their lives and they’re looking for the fix.

But the fix is things like what you teach. The fix is coming at it from a systemic sort of place where one thing doesn’t, maybe doesn’t send you straight up to, to the sky with results, but it’s a series of small things that make it so one thing doesn’t, no longer has the capacity to take you out anymore.

One thing, it’s like you’re on this rock solid foundation. Because is that how you feel now? Do you feel like you’re just on solid ground because of what you’ve built?

Alessia Citro: yes, I say in the book probably six times, you want to be building on a foundation of steel, not on sand, and to your point, it would take a lot to take me out right now, like

Nicole Laino: Exactly.

Alessia Citro: I am so like diversified I feel and the different practices I do, and how I have rooted my identity in internal stuff, not in the external, shiny objects, accolades, achievements, all of that.

 Yeah, I don’t think that can be understated. And that’s another reason, too, why, you know, yeah, we all want to have, these quick, big results, but do we actually? Because unless your identity levels up with the result, you’re not going to be able to hold it long term. And I’m in a season where, I would rather have sustainability, I’ve been on this roller coaster, boom and bust cycle long enough.

I’m really enjoying, like, homeostasis now. There’s still excitement, don’t get me wrong. I am never going to be a boring person. It’s just not written in the stars for me, this incarnation anyway. We’ll see about the next one. But now Things are just a lot more even, and that feels really good from a nervous system perspective.

Lain in the plane to what you were just talking about.

Nicole Laino: When you’re really building something, it’s not do or die on any one thing. That’s what I tell my clients all the time. I was like, you have to remind yourself that you don’t get one shot at this. That you’re building something, you get to come back, optimize this. That’s what I teach you Is to build something that lasts and grows over time.

You might have a big bang at the beginning, but if you don’t, it’s okay, but we’re teaching you how to cycle this and how to grow this over time so that it doesn’t feel like you don’t feel like this. Oh my God. What if it doesn’t work? Cause nothing will you faster than that feeling of I’ve got to make this work and I need to make it work right now.

But if you have the thought in your head and the vision of, I just have to make it work. Can I make it? I a vision that where it’s like, can I see it? If I had a year, would I feel like it’s possible? Most people will say, yeah. If you tell them next month does what you want feel possible, then they start to freak out, but it’s the same goal.

So take the time away. And the way that you do that is sort of just building this great foundation for yourself of the things that you do and the way that you live. What are some of the tools in your toolbox that you love to pull out to help yourself? What are your favorites?

Alessia Citro: The first one that drops in for me is tapping, emotional freedom technique. I, if you are not familiar with it, oh man, go Google it, watch a video on how to do it. I think I’ve got one on my website somewhere. It’ll take you from like, Let’s just say like a 10 on the anxiety, scale to like a six in a matter of minutes.

Nicole Laino: I’m an EFT practitioner so they’ve heard about this if they’ve listened to like my deconditioning episodes. It is life changing.

Alessia Citro: Yeah.

Nicole Laino: Life changing.

Alessia Citro: And, you can do it anywhere. I mean, maybe not if you’re both hands on the steering wheel, but otherwise pretty close. 

Nicole Laino: To the bathroom.

Alessia Citro: yeah.

Nicole Laino: Tap. I do it all the time. I

Alessia Citro: it’s, and it seems like something that shouldn’t work, but it does. Also, I mean, this isn’t something that I can do regularly for obvious reasons, what I’m about to say, but plant medicine has been an amazing tool for me to unlock a lot of crap.

 Hypnosis and I don’t mean anything like, going to see a hypnotist and, dancing like an idiot on stage or something like I’ll listen to an eight minute hypnosis and it, oh, it just shifts my state right away. Yeah, those have been two of the ones that have really been big for me though.

EFT and hypnosis. Hypnosis. I like better than meditation. Even meditation. I feel pressure hypnosis. I don’t,

Nicole Laino: I cycle through them. It’s like, what do I need right now? What do I feel like I, what would feel nurturing and like what I need? If I’m in anxiety and stuff like that, tapping all the way. And breath work. Breath work will work that out too. But I like to cocktail them together sometimes. Like a little tapping, little breath work. And move that stuff right out. But, this was so fun. I’m so happy that you came here. I’m so happy that we got to have this conversation and that we met at the event. Events are great. We meet the best people.

Alessia Citro: you really do. I know. , and it was funny cause you were someone I’d wanted to connect with, the whole weekend after one of the girls staying with me and connected with you the first night. So it was meant to be, and this was so fun. I love what you’re doing too. Bringing in the human design to.

Like the larger picture. It’s just, it’s so validating and so just, it’s really helpful. I think we live a lot of our lives thinking we need to fit in a certain box and do things the way that, do things the way other people do them or say that we should do them. And yeah, human design has just given me a permission slip to just be myself.

Feels really good.

Nicole Laino: I love that. I always say I did a master class a couple years ago called Permission to be Exceptional. You are exceptional, you are a genius, and the permission slip is to be exactly who you are. That’s how you get there. It’s not this achieving thing that we’ve gotten all wrapped up in.

 Thank you for sharing everything that you shared, your journey, your framework, your system. Go buy the book, people! It’s called Higher Self Habits. Tell everybody where they can stay in touch with you, where can they learn more about you, what do you have going on, what do you want them to know.

Alessia Citro: Yeah. I have a couple of free gifts for listeners too. I mentioned your higher self becoming some, someone who is vividly clear and real to you and you begin that journey by visualization. And so I have a guided visualization that you can download if you go to alaisiacitro. com slash gift. And on that page, there is also a free capability guide.

Free Gift: https://alessiacitro.com/gift

I mentioned earlier, people don’t create habits because they’re making it hard without realizing it. I help you look at the different components of capability to make everything easy. And then I’m most active on Instagram, so I would love to connect with you over there. Alacia Citro, two underscores because there are other Alacia Citros, believe it or not.

Instagram: alessiacitro__

And, , yeah, I would love to connect with you, hear how your journey’s going. If you read the book too, I want to hear how it’s helping you. It was a labor of love and the more people who are reading it and sharing their takeaways with me, it’s making me want to write another one. So we’ll

Nicole Laino: Oh, you heard it here first, everybody. She’s thinking of another one. Thank you so much. So we will link all of that up in the show notes for you. You will not have to remember all of it. Just go over to the show notes. We will take you over there for her free gift to her website and to her Instagram.

Website: alessiacitro.com/quiz

Definitely connect with her. She is a fabulous wealth of information. For inspiration, thank you so much for being here. Like I say, this truly was a pleasure to have you on the show. I’m so excited and I’m excited for everybody to get to know you. And thank you listener for making it all the way to the end of this conversation with us.

We appreciate you. And remember, in order to have an unshakable business, you must first become an unshakable human. So thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with human design, everybody. We’ll see you next time.