Episode 384

Hello and welcome to Unshakable with Human Design, everybody. I’m your host, Nicole Lino, and we’re here together. So much to say today. So much to say we’re here today where I want to talk about something that has. It’s really funny. It always strikes me how connected I am to the clients inside business by design. I feel like so much of what I go through or what I’m feeling, they feel as well, or they’re going through on some level. And it’s such a beautiful way of working where it’s almost like I’m in a different place, but it’s just the same themes that keep coming up, right? So even though I’m further in my career in, you know, in certain ways, it’s all the same cycles that we go through over and over again. And this one came up in my journaling session personally. 

And then almost right after it, a client sent a message in our telegram chat about basically the same thing where I felt like I was like, oh, I actually just worked this out for myself. It’s things that I was noticing that I was able to give her a really well thought out response from my perspective with this and to guide her from that. And it’s really about being in the middle, leaning into, like, our growth edges. And it’s very uncomfortable. Maybe you’ve been there as well. Maybe you’re there right now where you feel like you are neither where you’ve been and who you’ve been, but you’re also not quite the person that you’re becoming yet. You’re in this weird middle, this. I heard Lindsay Marie talk about it where she’s like, you know, the gap. This is a universal thing. It’s just whether. 

What phase are you in? Are you in a phase where you’re like, you’re growing and things feel great and it feels super motivating and aligned. And in this space, the human design space, what I always find is that because I work with the people who at least value alignment, they value energy, or maybe they didn’t always, but now they’re seeing the value in finding alignment versus just finding achievement and chasing achievement. But when we’re alignment people, so to speak, we’re spiritual, that can really rock your world because it’s like it felt aligned and now it doesn’t. And this is such an interesting place. And I’ve seen so many people really like, have a crisis in this moment. 

Now, first of all, I also want to say that if you’re in the middle of something, congratulations, because it means that you’re on a path of growth. And a lot of people don’t ever get on that path. They don’t ever choose that. They choose the same and they let it be the same. And whether it feels good or feels bad doesn’t matter because it just is. But if you’re in the middle and you’re thinking about what’s next, and you’re thinking about what needs to change, then you’re on a path of growth. And that puts you in a minority in the world in a lot of ways. So congratulations for being in this little exclusive club where we say, I get to choose. Now. I’m gonna break down in this episode. Like, this isn’t gonna be like a super Teachy episode. 

I’m gonna talk to you about a lot of these things that come up and I have some notes, but I’m probably gonna end up throwing them out because like I said, I have so much to say about this because it’s a phase that I am in as well. And there are varying degrees of this. Like, there are sometimes where it feels like, oh my God, nothing fits anymore. Like, all the clothes in your closet just stopped fitting and you’re just like, what do I do? Do I run around naked? And that’s a really difficult place to be in. You know, there’s sometimes where it’s big life changes and then sometimes it’s just like there is an evolution of the things that we do. It could be as simple as like offers friends. 

You know, we see this where it’s just sort of like I’m outgrowing or I’m moving past, or I’m shifting into something. And it doesn’t always mean that everything has to go away. That’s the mind that’s telling you, that’s creating stories about what this means for everything else in your life. This is why human design is such a great tool and such an indispensable tool in this is because it always brings you back to you. It keeps the mind from taking control and catastrophizing the whole thing where you know, that you get into like, oh, well, what if this and what if that? All of these terrible worst case scenarios which by the way none of them have happened. So none of them are true. But the mind sees them as true. Because the mind loves to go into. What if it all falls apart? 

What if this is the end of everything? So I want to break down kind of like the. I was looking at what I responded to that client. I was looking at my journaling and where I’m sitting with this stuff. And I just really want to share that with you. And just how I see this is something that I’m going to show you. Like, I really want to share with you my insights on this, the things that came up for me and just some of the realizations that I had around this that I hope will beneficial to you. If you find yourself in this space, whether it’s right now or maybe you’ve been in the past, or you just know if you’re on a path of growth, you will be in this spot at some point. It is inevitable. 

It happens to every single one of us. If it doesn’t, you’re not growing. If it feels good. And I’m a human design alignment person, we are not aligned a hundred percent of the time. But what we do know if you’re following an alignment path is when things aren’t aligned and you’re feeling into the space and you don’t just immediately go into. Because I noticed with the go getters, with the achievement people, with the people who are. I see this very much as very uncomfortable for people like me. I consider myself a go getter. I go get what I want. And my biggest lesson has been leaning back a little bit and really asking better questions. So I wasn’t just expending energy, distracting myself with going after more things when I could get the same thing. 

I could get what I wanted in different ways without all of that chaos that only comes from taking a pause and observing what you’re actually doing. So it’s very uncomfortable for us, the go getters, because even right now, in this phase that I’m in where I’m like, oh, I’m in the middle of something, like, there’s an evolution coming. I’m not sitting here looking at everything that I have and being like, none of this fits anymore. I’m not divorcing my husband. I’m not doing like, none of that, none of it at all. I just feel there’s an evolution coming. There’s something calling me louder now than it ever has before, and it’s telling me, you’ve got to come, you have to move in this direction. I Won’t be ignored. Right. And I’ve seen in this process how much I still look to control with action. 

Nothing like I used to. I used to control everything with action. Okay, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? All right, okay, this is really uncomfortable. How am I going to get out of the discomfort? I know I’ll take massive action that can get you very far. I’m not going to act like you don’t get results taking massive action. Sure you do. I don’t know if you necessarily like what you’ve built at the end of that, because none of it was created with very much intention. A lot of times, you know, old habits die screaming, as I like to say, or not me, but. But as the saying goes. And I don’t control like I used to. But I’m seeing that tendency in myself right now. Pardon me. 

In this moment that I’m in, where it’s like, okay, well, you know, the old me wants to take the wheel. My personality wants to take the wheel. My mind wants to take the wheel. It wants to be certain of where we’re going. But I didn’t choose a certain path. It’s so easy to get caught up in the what am I going to do? Because we’re uncomfortable. Because it’s so much easier to say I’m uncomfortable. What do I do to not be uncomfortable anymore? But we can get so caught up in that what am I going to do? That we forget to ask the most important question. The most important question is, what do I really want? That is where the magic is. If you want to change your life, ask better questions. 

And Tony Robbins says it better where he says, the quality of your life is determined by the quality of questions you ask. What am I going to do? Is a low quality question, what do I really want? High quality question. You will get a much more juicy, intentional answer from that. A direction will come from that. More stuff on your to do list will come from the what do I do? It is a survival mode thing to say, what do I do? What do I do? What do I do? Do you have the presence to pause in a moment of feeling uncomfortable and say, I’m uncomfortable right now. Can I sit with this for a moment? When emotions are high, intelligence is low. If you can sit with an uncomfortable feeling. 

If you can sit in the messy middle, in the uncertainty and just ask the question, well, what do I want? We have to create space for a big question like that. And what really came through for me in my journaling and My own self reflection during this process of, you know, where am I going and what is this new thing that’s calling me? Just what’s this next level? For me, it’s easy to forget in the fear that we are in co creation with the universe. We. We create with our actions and we create with our intentions. And I have some upcoming episodes that are going to go into even more of that, of why that’s so cosmically and energetically important and more true than ever before in upcoming episodes that we have for you on this show. 

Because the energy is changing and you’ve probably felt that. You have probably felt that, like the energy is getting quick. It’s really calling us, those of us who are listening and not just in the program so deeply that you don’t even know what’s going on. You just, you feel terrible and you feel chaos and, you know, you just book another appointment with your therapist. That’s not the people who listen to this show. No, we’re choosing and we know that it is moving fast and instead of getting caught up in it unconsciously, we can observe it. So this space, what it actually is a crossroads. We come to them over and over again. Do we want to go back to what is safe? That is one path that you can go down at this middle point, although we usually equate with being comfortable. 

But if you’re in this game, you probably know that going back to what’s safe is actually quite uncomfortable. So we’re challenging even what comfort is. What does comfort even really mean or feel like in the beginning? If you’re at the very beginning of your journey and you’re just making this ch for the first time, you’re sitting at this crossroads of where am I going? Do I stay the same or do I change? Do I choose a different path? Then this might feel like a really big challenge that feels almost insurmountable, super scary. I’ve had to make this choice so many times. I’ve been at this crossroads so many times that I’m not going to say that it’s easy, but I’m used to it. It’s like, oh, here we are. 

And if you listen to the show and you’ve been listening for a long time, you’ve probably heard me say this over and over again. Our shadows, our challenges, the things that we face. I think there’s this myth that we’re always facing something different. Oh, what’s the next thing going to be? Now what I find is what we’re really facing is the same Shadow. The same challenge at a different level, same dragon. But our relationship to it changes. So this crossroads, I have been here a million times at this point. My relationship to it has changed. But now it’s still a crossroads. I still have to choose again. I still have to have the presence to observe that I’m even in it. 

Because it’s so easy to get sucked into the automatic programming or unconscious sort of way of life, to just keep going in the direction that we’ve always gone in, to not question it, or to get so scared that you just run backwards in the other direction. No, no, I’m going to stay. I’m going to go do that thing. Even though it’s uncomfortable, it’s safe, right? The other path is to choose the unknown. But here’s the thing with the unknown. If you choose the path of the unknown, what a lot of people don’t talk about is what you are choosing is to write your own story. You’re saying, I don’t know what’s out there. And this is where people screw this up. I don’t know what’s out there, but I’m gonna choose the path of my own making. Right? 

What they get screwed up with is that you’re choosing to write your own story. But that choice doesn’t end by choosing the path of the unknown. It’s not like, okay, I made the choice. I’m gonna write my own story. That choice isn’t the end. It’s not like, I chose this path and now it’s, you know, that choice is over now. Okay, I did it. No, it’s just the beginning. And a lot of people think it’s the end and they let their guard down or they get caught up and they’re waiting for something to make all the other choices for them. They’re waiting for somebody or something to fill in the pages. Sometimes we hire a coach to do that. I’m very careful about not filling in the pages for my clients. That’s not my job. 

My job is to help them write their own story. I can help them do that. But the choices of what goes on that page has to be their own. That’s the new world that we’re moving into. We all get to choose. But the problem is that we look to have somebody else fill in the pages. Where are you doing that right now? Where are you relying on somebody else to fill in those pages of your book, of your story? This entrepreneurial path, this path of creating and co creating our world with the universe, it’s essential for you to remember that you are the author and you have to keep writing your story every day. You have to keep choosing every day. And we do that with, just like I said before, we do that with our intentions, our thoughts, our nervous system. 

And we do that with our actions. And you have to keep choosing. And that’s why I don’t say that this is an easy path. It sounds so easy to people. It’s not at all. And the reason it’s not easy is because you have to choose every moment of every day and you have to never forget. And it’s so easy to forget that you are the author, that you get to write this story. That is you. So many people stop writing and they let the world fill in the pages and then they think, it didn’t work for me. No, you just stopped writing. That’s really what happened. And it’s never too late to start writing it again. That’s what I wanted to say. So I’m going to leave you with that. 

I want to leave you with this question maybe where have you stopped writing your story? Where have you been where? Waiting for or allowing the world to fill in the pages? Or stopped moving altogether? Just wondering, why doesn’t somebody else fill in the pages? I will guarantee you someone will. But then it’s not your story anymore. Keep choosing the path. Thanks for being here. I appreciate you. And remember, in order to have an unshakable business, you must first become an unshakable human. So thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with human design. We’ll see you next time.