Episode 386

Hello, and welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design. I’m your host, Nicole Laino, and we are here together, just the two of us, today. And I have a question for you. How you doing? I’m curious how everybody is doing right now, because quite honestly, June so far has felt kind of crazy over here, and it’s caused me to kind of not questioning, but I had to lean on my tools a lot. I had to, you know, really ground myself. And this is the entrepreneur game, right? 

It’s never like a flat surface where we’re just, you know, we’re just chugging along and everything’s going great. We have periods of that. And as you get more and more experience, you have greater and greater success, and you build systems and things. You can have a lot longer stretches on flat road. It can feel comfortable, or it can feel, you know, like you’re hitting your stride. But then inevitably, at some point, some things are gonna go wrong. And this month for me, it has felt like anything and everything that could go wrong did some really surprising stuff. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. And I’m sharing this at a time where I have processed my feelings around this. I’m not coming into this raw, but I am coming into it like, not everything is fixed yet. Not everything is done. 

There are not all the answers. And I wanted to share because I see this throw people off so often, you know, when we hit a rough patch, when. Or we hit a really rough patch, like, I just have. It can derail you, certainly in the beginning. And this is really. It’s a test of your nervous system is really what we’re doing. We’re really taking the nervous system for a ride and saying, like, let’s see how regulated and expanded you really are. I know you think you are, but let’s just test that out, shall we? And. And sometimes we fail that test. Sometimes the nervous system is like, I wasn’t ready for all of this. This is too much. This is where that doomsday thinking comes from. 

This is where when you get stuck in, like, a spiral of, oh, my God, it’s all coming apart. But here’s the thing. If you get caught in, it’s all falling apart more will fall apart. There’s going to be. You can think about some of that as attraction and the law of attraction, you are attracting more of what you don’t want. We don’t want that. Absolutely see that. But then there’s also a strategic element of that when you’re caught up in the downward spiral of what else could go wrong? And oh, my God, it’s all coming apart. And, oh, my God, how is this going to work? And how am I going to fix this and how am I going to right the ship? 

When you’re in that space, one, you’re not making great decisions strategically for your business, or two, sometimes you just flat out stop that. You’re so consumed in the emotional part of the business that other things stop happening and you don’t move them forward. And that causes further delay in you being able to fix things. Because on the material plane, we have to do stuff right? And then on the energetic plane, we have to be in the energetic vibration and an energetic match for the things that we want. So in this episode, what I wanted to do was I wanted to break down five things that I do when everything is going wrong to remind myself that every what to do. This is like a checklist. 

So you can write these down, have them someplace, put them in your phone, and the next time, I hope it doesn’t happen to you. But. But, you know, if it does, where it feels like, oh, my God, I gotta hang on for dear life, that you pull out the little checklist and you say, these are the five things that Nicole said worked for her. Maybe I’ll try these. Okay, so let’s dive into this, shall we? And I will say that we have a workshop that I did a while back called Trust. There’s a Trust masterclass. This is one of my favorite things that I’ve ever done. It very much goes with this episode. If you are experiencing that, anything to do with, you know, things falling apart, you feel like the Energetic game is off. 

This workshop, this masterclass that I did, like I said, it’s one of my favorite things. It combines my two favorite modalities, human design and tapping. And I take you through the number one belief that I see keep entrepreneurs stuck and keep them from expanding and keep them from growing and keep them from their potential ultimately. And this is like a little sinister belief that’s bubbling underneath the surface. If you want to get your hands on that. If you’re interested in that, listen to the episode, see if this. If this resonates for you, if it Does. You’ll love the what the masterclass. All you have to do to get it just. Just DM me the word trust on Instagram. I’m icoleno official. We’ll send it to you there also, I believe on the Work with me page on my website. 

Link to the Trust Masterclass: https://nicolelaino.com/trust

So just go to nicolelaino.com and we’ll find it there and we’ll link it up in the show notes for you. All right, so let’s talk about this. Five steps. And you don’t have to do all. There’s no particular order to these. These are just things that you want to make sure that you’re checking in with. This is to keep you. My favorite thing to say is like, we need to come off autopilot. Because sometimes when crisis hits, when, you know, for lack of a better term, when shit hits the fan, we. You know, when they say when. When emotions are high, intelligence is low. So when that happens, when the shit hits the fan, we suddenly become dumb and highly emotional and just start making really bad decisions automatically, we’re on autopilot. Our autonomic nervous system is taking over. 

Our fight flight response is taking over. And now suddenly we’re driving in a direction that we don’t even know. We’re blindfolded. We’re just like, I don’t know, I just gotta get in the car. I just gotta grab the wheel. Even though we can’t see. So what we want to do is we want to take a pause before you get behind the wheel of that car, before you go just driving off in some direction. These five steps or these five things. If you do these, you will find yourself more grounded. And I promise you’ll be able to unwind that situation and make better decisions through the crummy patch, and then hopefully get out of that crummy patch much faster than you would otherwise if you didn’t do these things. So let’s start with the first one. Let’s kick it off the first one. 

I think that’s really important is to remind yourself of your goals and what you’ve been asking for. Sometimes we see turbulence. These. We have an idea of what things should be happening. And when something different happens, we get real upset. But here’s the thing. If you think about the goals that you have, if you really were to search both, like, strategically, maybe you have goals written down someplace, which you should. If you journal and you talk about the life that you want to create for yourself, you’re writing your story, you’re saying, I want these things look at that. But then also search your soul of like, what am I kind of calling out for right now? What’s in my energy? Of like, where I want to be going? What’s the vision I’m holding for myself? 

Because here’s the thing, we get to ask for more. We get to ask for the. The vision. We get to say, universe, I want this thing. I want to be a speaker on stages, I want to write a book. I want to do this, I want to do that. Right? We get to ask for more. But what we don’t get to do is we don’t get to decide how it shows up. And oftentimes, you know, they say, like, the rejection is the universe’s protection. That is certainly true. And then sometimes the universe, we asked for something and it needs to rearrange things and move things around and create a new environment for us. And sometimes that means things falling away. And it can be really painful. People can fall away. 

So if you’ve been asking to be more loved in your relationship, well, maybe it’s not this relationship. So we can see friendships, we can see romantic partners fall away in service to our highest good, in service to the vision that we have. But it’s a painful thing that we couldn’t have both things. We couldn’t have the vision that we wanted in that relationship because the relationship was the thing that was holding us back. We can’t have higher level clients if the same clients are around. So sometimes, maybe some clients need to fall away to make space for new ones. But when you’re in the middle of that feeling and people are falling away and lovers are leaving you and breaking your heart, what it feels like, it doesn’t feel good. 

It’s hard to have that presence of mind, which is why you have to remind yourself to do this. What have I been asking for? How is this somehow serving me? How is this somehow serving my highest good? And what I have been asking for? It’s a really valuable question to ask. Great journaling prompt right there. So that’s the first one. The second thing that you want to do. This one sort of goes without saying, but I’m going to say it anyway. Regulate your nervous system. It is your business will only grow and your life will only grow to the level that you can grow your nervous system to hold and handle more. More turbulence, more chaos, but also more joy, more wealth, more of the things that we want. We have to expand and be able. 

Like this is the whole point of being unshakable, right? Unshakable means that you have grounded and solidified your nervous system and expanded it enough that you can take in more. Sometimes I don’t know if I really believe in like universal tests necessarily, but our ability to deal with a rocky situation and hold the vision for what we want, even when it looks like it’s not going to happen, that’s expansion, because that’s our ability to say, no, I still get to have that. I’m still holding space for the joy, even though the pain is what’s in front of me right now. So you have to regulate your nervous system. This should already be part of your daily routine. I don’t often tell people what to do, but this one, I’m going to tell you what to do. 

If you’re an entrepreneur and you’re not regulating your nervous system and you are not making it part of your regular practice. Now, whatever tool you use, that is completely up to you. I have a whole smorgasbord of things that I like to lean on. But when you’re in one of these funky places where things are really going wrong, double down on this stuff. Double down on breathwork, double down on eft, hypnosis, whatever your modality of choice is, lean into it hard without making it a total crutch. Because I have seen people kind of obsessively look to heal and you want to find that fine line of feeling like you’ve moved the energy and you’ve gotten in front of it. But you’ve also, you also have the ability to sit and hold space for what is happening. 

Because sometimes when we try, sometimes we’re using a modality to get rid of a feeling and that doesn’t work. That’s not a sustainable fix because it’s like a fancy, healthy looking way avoiding what’s really there. And we don’t want to be doing that. We don’t want to be avoiding anything. We want to be facing everything head on. Which is why, you know, you’re using these modalities to move the energy to see what is there, to kick some things up. And then you want to be able to sit with it and say, well, what am I feeling right now? Journal to clear your mind. Because a lot of times our minds will race in these spaces. So the feelings will create new thoughts that are usually not good. And the not good thoughts make us feel crummy and shittier. 

As, as the thoughts keep going now that creates more bad thoughts. And this is the downward spiral. And this is how you both start energetically Pulling in what you don’t want. And you also, it’s miserable. So. Journal to clear your mind. This is all part of the second tip of regulating your nervous system. Journal. Get the thoughts out of your mind. The echo chamber of your head is the most toxic place when things are going wrong. Get the thoughts out of your head. They appear as what they are when you write them down or when you say them out loud. Notice if you talk to somebody, it starts to make you feel better. Usually depends on who you talk to. 

But when you start to hear yourself, if you have a defined throat or if you have an open g, you might need to soundboard these things with people to get them out of your body, out of your mind. Because if they’re in your mind, they start to feel very true. All of those what ifs feel like they’re gonna happen, and that’s not ultimately true. But when you write them down or you say them out loud, you’re like, oh, yeah, that’s not really gonna happen. It’s like it loses its power. So take the power away, put it on the page, pour it out on the page and see what’s there. You can read it back or don’t. It doesn’t really matter. That part is up to you. But get it out of your head, because no good comes of it living up there. 

The third thing you should do when everything feels like it’s going wrong is support. I know that entrepreneurship can feel really lonely, but it doesn’t have to be. We choose it to be so. So whether you have a coach, you have programs like Business by Design, we have our telegram chat for our entire group. We have hot seats. We have all of these ways that people can get support. So you can reach out to people like that or platforms like that. If you have a biz, bestie or something, you can absolutely reach out to them because they’ll understand what you’re going through. It’s really important that you reach out to somebody who’s actually going to receive what you have to say and isn’t going to either make you feel worse about it or just really not get it. 

Because sharing, make sure you’re sharing with the right people. But what you can do is if you have a spouse, if you have a partner, somebody in your life, close friends that maybe aren’t in the business space where they get the journey, but you could just share how you’re feeling, that you’re really stressed, that you’re really overwhelmed, that everything feels like it’s going wrong and it just feels like so much. And you’re seeking them, not for them to give you advice. And you could tell them this straight up and you could just say, I just need a source of stability right now. Everything feels like it’s on shaky ground. And this is like a somatic thing. When we feel unstable, our nervous system feels unstable. The inner message that’s happening there is, we’re on shaky ground. We can’t trust anything. 

This is what I mean by the trust workshop. This is. It’s so great. But we can’t trust anything. So you need to find things that are solid that you can trust. Remind yourself, put yourself in physical space with someone or something that feels rock solid to you and physically touch them, hug them. I was going through stuff, I went into my husband, I’m like, I just need a hug right now. And he was like, yeah, come here. And I hugged my kid and I hugged my dog. And it’s co regulation. That’s what you’re doing there. Don’t try to do it all alone, because that just sets up more of the belief that you are alone. Show yourself that you are supported. Show yourself that you are not alone. Because you’re not. You have more support than you probably realize. 

The fourth thing you should do when everything feels like it’s falling apart, this is a human design one. Very specific and a little weird, but I forget to do this a lot of times and I. I’m like, I have to remind myself to do this whenever things don’t feel good. Check the transits, go back to our monthly transit episode, or go and look them up yourself. If you have, you know, genetic matrix or one of the human design portals that gives you the transit information, look at the transits, see if you’ve got some crazy stuff happening. So all of this stuff has been happening in my life and in my world, but it really felt bad a week ago. 

And I looked and realized that this was the week that we all had the 1222 channel, the channel of openness, which is the manic depressive channel, the heartbeat wave of the emotional wave. So if you felt not so great during, what was it, the week of the 10th, like, that stretch, the week of the 12th of June. Then if you felt kind of like, oh, my God, I feel crazy, or I feel so emotional, I feel so overwhelmed by emotion right now. Things just feel so chaotic and so dark. I was only reminded of it because I have the 39th gate and gate 55 sits on the other side this is the same emotional wave as the channel that the. The channel of openness, the 1222 that we all experienced during that week that I’m talking about. 

I recognized it because when gate 55 is in the transit and that locks in and I get that wave, it’s the only times I feel really, like, dark, and I understand how those people feel who carry it, how deep and really just challenging that particular wave is. So check the transits. Sometimes people come to me in our group, in Business by Design, and they’ll say something like, I’ve just felt like this and this. Oh, my God. I feel like the world is caving in on me, and I just. It just feels like there’s no hope. And I go and I look at the transit and, like, you’ve got actually three emotional waves happening right now, and you’re not emotional. 

Like, sometimes there’s crazy stuff happening in somebody’s chart or they get access to another couple of centers, and they’re usually really open, and it’s like, yeah, you’re actually. You’re driving a different vehicle these couple of days, and that might feel really rocky. Here are some things that might come up for you. So check the transits. See if Christine and I mentioned anything in the monthly call. That podcast episode is a really great resource for you. You can go and listen to it at any time, but you can also go look it up and see if there’s anything that’s transiting that feels, you know, might be interacting with your chart and making you, in particular feel a little nutty at that time. Sometimes that happens, and you’re just like, oh, okay, it’s not me. 

That’s the whole point of the transit episodes, by the way, is to show you what the weather is. Okay, the last one, the final step or final point of the five things to do whenever it feels like everything is falling apart is write down and focus on what you want to happen, not what you’re afraid will happen. This is where the fork in the road is. We get to choose. And it is so important not to lose focus of this. Where attention goes, energy flows. And when you write and focus on what you want to happen, one, it starts to actually feel possible. You’re reminding yourself that there’s another possibility than, like, you know, your world ending. But you start to change your energy. Now you’re in alignment with what you want, not what you don’t want. 

If you are focusing on what you are so afraid will happen or what will happen again or will another thing happen like that or will you be okay? You’re focused on what you don’t want and you’ll get more of what you don’t want. Don’t do that. So you really have to remind yourself to visualize the best case scenario. You have to go into life in the energy of if the worst case can happen, so can the best case. And the only difference between those two things, because neither has happened yet, is what I am choosing to invest my energy and my thoughts in right now. Always have a choice. We often forget that and I don’t want that for you. So that’s why it’s one of these steps. Write these down. 

So to recap five things that you are going to do when you feel like everything is going wrong is one, you’re going to remind yourself of your goals and what you’ve been asking for and ask yourself, how is this somehow serving me and my greater good? Number two, you’re going to regulate your nervous system. You’re going to double down on those tools that you have. Breath work, eft, hypnosis, whatever it is that you choose to do. Meditation, move the energy that’s there and then journal to clean your mind, clear out your mind so you don’t have a constant barrage of negative thoughts. Get them out on the page, get them out of your head. Number three, you’re going to seek support. 

You’re going to go find a coach, a biz, bestie, your best friend or somebody to either share the story with so that they can empathize with you, or you’re going to just look for a source of stability from somebody. Someone you can hold, somebody who can hold you, someone that reminds you that you are not alone and that you are on stable ground on this earth. A walk outside grounding but co regulating with a person is really key. Number four, you’re going to check the transits and you’re going to make sure that you don’t have something funky going on in your chart where something in the cosmos is connecting to your chart, giving you access or a little extra of something that you are not used to, which is causing you to feel crazy. 

And the last one you’re going to write down and you’re going to focus on what you want to happen, what is the story you wish to be true, what is that you would like to see happen, not what you are afraid will happen. Focus your energy on the best case scenario. A lot of times we don’t even bother to consider it. We just think about the worst and that’s such a automatic program that a lot of us have. Oh, I guess it’s all gonna come down. This is the worst case scenario for me, and it doesn’t have to be that way. So write it down. Write down the best case scenario. What’s the possibility? All right. That’s all I got for you today. I hope that you enjoyed this. I hope that this helped. Thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you. 

If you want the Trust Masterclass DME Trust on Instagram, I’m @nicolelainoofficial or go to nicolelaino.com we’ll get you the we’ll you can grab the link down in the show notes or go to the Work with me section on the webpage.

Link to the Trust Masterclass: https://nicolelaino.com/trust

Thank you so much. Have a beautiful rest of your day. And remember, in order to have an unshakable business, you must first become an unshakable human. So thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with human design. We will see you next time.