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Episode #39 How “Know, Like & Trust” Is Killing Your Business

If you’ve been in marketing a while, you’ve probably heard the phrase “know, like, and trust.” In fact, you’ve probably heard it so many times that you don’t even really stop to think about what it means.

This week, Nicole is breaking down her controversial opinion on “know, like, and trust”—that it’s actually damaging to a lot of entrepreneurs and getting in the way of your productivity and success.

Far too many of us focus on the wrong part of “know, like, and trust” and get paralyzed trying to get people to like us. We take things so personally, if our content doesn’t get likes we see it as people not liking US.

This causes us to not say the things that might change people’s minds, and to shy away from being our authentic selves. This week Nicole is taking you through what she believes should be your strategy to build the trust factor with your clients, and it’s not necessarily what you’ll expect.


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Nicole Laino
Hello, and welcome to the limitless entrepreneur podcast. I am your host, Nicole Laino. And I’m here just all by my lonesome. Today, I’m here for a solo episode with you, it’s been a while. So I’m here to talk today about how know like and trust is killing your business. So this is an opinion that I’ve had for a long time. And I recently brought it up in a workshop that I was teaching, and it got, you know, a really interesting conversation going, so I wanted to kind of blow it up and do a whole episode on it, where we talk about this. So for those of you who don’t know, if you’ve been in marketing for a while, you’ve probably heard the phrase know, like, and trust, you want to build a know like and trust factor with your audience. And that can be said for in your content writing, in a podcast like this might be about me building know, like, and trust with my audience. That’s what we want to do. Because it’s, it is a marketing framework that was put together to try to have a way of converting people getting people to know you, then they will like you, and then they trust you, and then they buy from you. That is the general thought pattern of know, like and trust. And it’s been used for years. And I’m not saying that hasn’t worked at times, personally, I see it more as a big brand thing, I want to talk about it because most of the people listening to this are going to be building a personal brand. So I want to talk about it from that perspective, specifically. So know like and trust. Like I said, it’s been used for years, but it’s one of those concepts like so many, that gets distilled down to a little soundbite, which gets repeated over and over and over again by people who understand it and people who don’t. And then it gets bastardized and kind of put out there where we’re not even thinking about it anymore. You know, it’s one of those things that’s just been repeated so many times that now people be like, Yeah, and you know, I want to build the know, like and trust with my audience, and not really thinking about what it means. And I want to talk about it, because I can find, I personally find it to be very damaging, because we’re not this show we talk all the time about it’s our subconscious that is driving us, right. It’s not our conscious thoughts, it’s our subconscious thoughts. That’s making things either easier or more difficult for us making our goals attainable, or very difficult for us to achieve. So what is know, like and trust, telling our subconscious what’s going on in the back of our mind what’s going on underneath the surface, when we are trying to employ a, a strategy, like know, like, and trust. So so many of us, here, we are Your entrepreneurs, you are trying to build a brand online. So that involves content writing, that involves videos that involves ads for some of us, that involves lots of different ways of getting our message out there. So you’re on different social platforms, and you are writing content, you’re putting things out there, and you’re trying to get your message out in the world. Now, ultimately, what’s the goal of our messaging or messaging is to bring people over to our way of thinking to expose them to the theories that we have the products, how they will change their lives, but a message around that product. So why should you believe in this? What is it that I stand for? Now, with all of that going on many people I know because people write in for the show, I talk to people inside my groups, my clients, especially as well, that the things that you deal with are things like content paralysis, I can’t write the content that I want, I get stage fright. When I go to go live, I’m afraid about well, I run out of content for a podcast. Other problems that I see personally, when I look at people’s content out there, there’s watered down messaging that actually doesn’t end up attracting anybody. So that’s the content hamster wheel by being out there putting content out with the goal of converting people, but it’s actually not doing that at all, you’re not seeing the conversions that you want. But you’re doing a lot of work for it. You’re showing up, you are putting content out there. But it’s not actually bringing anybody over to any way of thinking. And then that all leads to not feeling very confident about the message that is out there. Because the audience isn’t turning, the audience isn’t growing. They aren’t converting, which then leaves us feeling like your business isn’t going to be successful because the audience isn’t growing. So we start to defeat ourselves in our mind, you start to defeat yourself where you say, I don’t know the audience isn’t growing, people aren’t buying is this really possible for me? And that is a sinister little thought that will contaminate all other thoughts that you have, which will contaminate your feelings, which will contaminate all of the actions that you take, making you in effect, less effective as a CEO of your business. And why is that? So in the context of know, like and trust, if you are working the know, like and trust framework, why is are all of these problems coming up? Well, because too much emphasis is put on the like, when you hear know, like, and trust, for many people, for many of you who are listening to this, your subconscious here is like, get people to like you build the like factor with your audience. We have, there’s a button that people push when they read your content to like it or not. And then if they comment, they really like it. That is how we gauge it. We talk about engagement. But really what we’re doing is we’re gauging how much people like us. And so when people don’t like something, we feel like people don’t like us. They don’t like that piece of content. They didn’t comment, nobody commented, I got no engagement. And this comes from us, this comes from people really feeling like the likes online, our likes for them. So you start gearing your content to try to get people to like you. And by doing that, you destroy your own credibility in your own mind. Because you’re doing something that is not aligned with really trying to get people over to any way of thinking it causes you to not say things that would cause people to say, Huh, I never thought of it that way. That’s interesting. Because you’re by doing it this way, by getting people to if you took the emphasis off of the like, and consciously put it on, I need to get people to know me. Not like me, know me. I promise you, your whole outlook on the way that you write content, on the way that you approach building your audience on the way that you put your brand out in the world and the energy that you put behind it. If you start emphasizing the know, things will change, the lake factor is killing your productivity, it is killing your conversions. And it’s killing your confidence. And this, particularly, I want to emphasize this if you identify as a people pleaser, if you identify as a perfectionist, these two groups especially the know like and trust factor, getting people to like you is damaging, as all get out to your business and to everything that you’re doing. It is making you less effective, it is making you less powerful, you show up in that pleasing energy. Which if you identify as a people pleaser, that’s going to be a strategy that you easily shift into it’s going to be kind of one of your autopilot things that you do because your subconscious starts saying that this is how I when I please people I do I go above and beyond i I go and I gear myself and I work my life around what works for other people. And then my life is good. That’s kind of the people pleaser formula, right? So I just, I don’t rock the boat, I kind of keep going with the flow with everyone else around me I don’t stand out too much. I make sure that everybody around me is taken care of. And everything is good for me I feel good, they feel good, that we don’t get ahead with that sort of strategy. And we’ll do a whole people pleasing episode, I’m sure at another time, but but I want you to understand that if if you are shifting into people pleasing in your content, if that is your strategy for growing your audience, you will not see it grow. Because energetically people are picking up on the fact that you are trying to get them to like you which is almost a beggar energy it’s almost a begging sort of you are not in power they are

Nicole Laino
you’re saying Please like me, please like me, please pay attention to me Please like me. Rather than focusing on where I’d like you to shift your focus to is the know. So know like and trust is this three part framework. We focus too much on the like, I’d like you to shift it to the No, because when people know you, they will trust you. If you focus on the know if you show up in clean energy Where you are only focused on helping people know you on a deeper level. And in order for people to know you on a deeper level that would require you to be truthful. This is the authenticity part that we’re always talking about. It is impossible to be authentic when your focus is trying to get people to like you. Because you’re always thinking about, will they like this thing about me? No. Okay, I won’t share that. Or how can I reshape this? So people will like it more. I know that this is the truthful thing about me. But I don’t know if everybody will like that, that might ruffle some feathers that might turn some people off. So how can I water it down to the point of it being likable. And then you destroy the authenticity part because you are no longer saying what’s truthful to you, you are no longer saying what you are aligned with, you are no longer going with what divine inspiration putting in your heart and put it out there and putting it out into the world, you are now taking inspiration. And then you’re passing it through a filter of saying, How can I use this to get people to like me, and people pick up on that. And that is a repellent. That is something where and that doesn’t mean that people will be like, I don’t like her because of that. But they’re probably not going to be running to give you their credit card and saying teach me because that is not that’s not the energy that people want to follow. That is not leadership energy. So if you want to be a coach, and you’re looking for people to say, I trust this woman to lead me, I trust this woman to show me the way I trust that she knows what she’s talking about that she will see what I can’t see. And I want I want to walk along with her, I want to walk side by side with her, I want to learn from her. Or if you have a team, and you are trying to get people to follow you and see you as their leader, they will not do that. If you are in that weaker energy. You want to look and we look at the animal kingdom all the time, you know that the alpha wolf, the alpha dog, that is an energetic thing. It’s not necessarily the dog that’s fighting and being the toughest. It’s the one that exudes this powerful, calm, strong, authentic, unshakable energy. You want to embody that. This is what embodiment is. And it starts with this one, having the courage to say to people, this is who I am. This is what I stand for. I unapologetically put this out in the world. And I don’t care. If you like me, that is unimportant to me. What I want you to do, is I want you to see who I am. I want you to know what my point of view is. I want you to consider it. And that’s it. I’m just out here being who I am. Respond how you will. That is the goal. When you show up in that energy, people can’t help but look. Now, they may not like you, they may not. They may not like what you have to say. They may hate you for what you’ve said, if you’re being truly authentic. And it’s something that is somewhat polarizing. But truthfully, the things that are worth sharing, are polarizing. Those are the things that shake things up. Those are the things that people then turn and look at you and they say, hmm, maybe she has the answers because she’s giving me a new perspective on things. I never thought of it that way. Until she said that she have more things to say to me, that might open me up to a new way of thinking a new way of being a new way of operating, which would then give me a chance to open up to new results to new things in my life. If you’re just giving them the same old, same old trying to play it safe, and get people to like you. I don’t think you really turning anybody over with that. So people who know you, they will inherently trust you. Because if we know something, whether we like it or not whether we think someone is trustworthy or not. We will trust what we know about that person. We will trust our knowledge of them. We will trust I know them. i I see this is transparent. I see who that person is. I don’t particularly care for them. But I know who they are and we tend to at least respect that about people. We tend to at least have an for, certainly for the people who are not in that power themselves, who are not able to stand out and be who they are unapologetically in front of the world, and desire that those people see somebody who is putting themselves out there without giving a f. And they pay attention. They’re like, I wish I could be like that. And then they can’t look away. And then they keep reading your content, whether they like it or not. And then they keep watching your videos. And then someday they buy. And maybe they don’t, but others like them will. This is the power of getting people to know you. And it’s truthfully it’s the, it is one of the hardest things to do because it is vulnerable. It’s the real kind of vulnerable, it’s the kind of vulnerable of saying, These are my thoughts. And I believe they are worthy of you paying attention to them. I believe they are so worthy, that I am not going to twist them and turn them and dye them and turn them into something that I think you will like better. I’m just going to let them be what they are. That takes courage. Getting people to know you takes courage. So this, I am not saying that this is easy. I’m actually saying that this is very difficult. But I’d like you and I hope that what this episode leaves you with is the next time that you sit down and you think about your message. And you go to put something out there you ask yourself. Am I helping these people to someone who read that who reads this? Or watches this video or listens to this podcasts? Podcast? Are they getting to know me any better? Are they doing something real about me? Am I giving them something from my life, whether that’s how I am with my family, it doesn’t all have to be these profound thoughts. They just have to be the truth, unvarnished. And without us trying to blitz them up and twist them into something that is engineering, people’s love. Because it doesn’t really work like that. That’s desperate energy, desperate energy is not attractive. Have the courage to stand in your own power. And say, Me as I am, I am worth it. I am worthy of your time, I am worthy of your attention, and I am worthy of your money. So think about that. How can you rotate content, say things, share things online? craft your message around people getting to know you in different ways. Not like you. So I hope you found this episode helpful. I hope that this changed your way of thinking a little bit I hope that it at least clues you in to when you are leaning into the life too hard. When you are shifting into people pleasing energy. And know what that feels like in your body. Know what it feels like and make a conscious effort until you’ve done it so many times that the conscious effort becomes an unconscious effort and becomes automatic. But until then make the conscious effort to say, No. I, my goal is to not not to get people to like me. My goal is to get people to know me. Am I doing this with this piece of content? Am I doing this with this thing that I’m sharing right now? Am I being so truthful that this feels like the truth to me, and hell with whatever anybody else says, hell with whatever anybody else thinks.

Nicole Laino
I’m just going to be me. And I’m going to do it fully and completely. And at least I know that they will trust the words that come out of my mouth that I am authentic, because I’m authentic to me. Because that’s the first start people ask all the time, how can I be more authentic out there? I we hear people get cut down for not being authentic all the time. And it’s because people feel like you are energetically holding something back. So how can you be more authentic? Don’t energetically hold back when you stop protecting yourself. From people not liking you, you open yourself up to miracles. But not until then. If you still have a protective cloak on, you will be protecting yourself from all the things that you’ve been asking to receive. So I hope you found this helpful. If you did, please leave a review for us on iTunes and Spotify. Please share this with your friends. We would love to get the word out about the show. And I thank you for being here. If you made it all the way to the end of the episode. I appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for spending your time with me. And I leave you with the words that I leave with I leave you with every single week. You are only limited by the limitations that you accept. And when you stop accepting those limitations. That is when you become limitless. I will see you on the next episode.

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