Episode 428:


Hello and welcome to Unshakable with Human Design. Everybody. I’m your host, Nicole Laino, and we are here for the Thanksgiving episode. For those of you here in America, it is Thanksgiving week. Today is the day before Thanksgiving. If you are listening to this, on the day this episode drops. And I wanted to talk about the holidays in Human Design because we hear so many things about the holidays. You know, people dreading them having to go home. Some people look forward to them. Everybody has their own unique experience, depending on their relationship with their family, the conversations that are going to happen around the table. And I wanted to just sort of have a little reminder for each of the types in order to have a harmonious and happy holiday season. Because now we’re kicking it off here, right? 

It’s Thanksgiving, but then we also, of course, we have Christmas and New Year’s, and then whatever else that you celebrate, there might be other gatherings that you’re getting together with your family about. These are the ones that my. I celebrate with my family, but I wanted to break it down so I have a little message for each of the human design types going into this holiday season. What is important to keep in mind, what are the things that. I think that these are things that we can forget. And these are just some helpful tips for how to navigate how you might feel around the holidays. Now, if you’re just having a great time and you’re like, nicole, my holidays are awesome. I never have any issues. Everything is always fine. I’m never judging anybody else. I’m never upset about what anybody else is doing. 

I’m just having an awesome time. My family’s great, we all get along, and. And it’s perfect. Then maybe this isn’t an episode you have to listen to, but for most people, they have something that they’re navigating. So I’m going to give a message for each of the. Each of the types. You’re obviously going to pay attention to your type. You’re going to listen to your. If you’re a generator, you’re going to listen to the generator message. But I also want you to listen to the other ones because I want you to be thinking about whether you know it or you don’t know what Your family’s charts are what their types are. They all have one and they might have a different one than you. 

So if you listen to my thoughts and my tip for each type, then it might give you a little bit of insight into why your brother in law is super standoffish, it seems, and like, doesn’t want to be part of the party and is just always kind of like off by himself. I don’t know, maybe he’s a manifester. That happened in my family. Like we have manifestors in our family and I’m like, oh, that’s why they do that thing. Yeah, so we can cut people some slack. We cannot add the energy of judgment onto all of the other things. Like, oh, why are they doing that? Because that’s what conditioning is. Right? Conditioning is where we assume that everybody should be like us. Other people have assumed that you should be like them. 

And in some ways you’re more susceptible to taking in that opinion or that point of view. You then feel, you’re right, I should be like that. Because you’re like that and things look good for you. So you take that advice, you take that criticism and then you make it how you are. That might not be your nature, that might not be the right way for you. And that’s what conditioning is. And human design brings us back home to who we are so that we’re able to really meet ourselves with compassion and meet the other people in our lives with compassion. This changed my whole life. My husband jokes that human design softened me. And I always say thanks, I think because basically was saying that I could be harsh with people, I could be tough with people, I think because I’m tough on myself. 

I think because I work hard on myself. And there were some things that I was just also really blind to before I started doing this work, including things about me, about how I was really imperfect. I’m still imperfect. I just see it now and have a greater compassion for other people being imperfect. I think I had a little bit more. I was far less self aware. Well, I know I was far less self aware, but I was also less aware of other people and how they’re different and appreciating those differences rather than thinking that it’s. There’s something wrong with them because they don’t think or behave the way that I do. 

So let’s dive in just with all of that in mind, let’s dive into these individual messages that I have for each of the types taken to this holiday season to understand for yourself and then also to Take into consideration for the other people. Maybe you do know their chart. Maybe you do know what they are. Maybe they are like you, but you’re seeing. If you look at them through their design, you might see how they’re just following their design differently. Or sometimes we see how maybe they are in their not self. And we can have compassion for that too, because people get stuck there and it sucks. No fun being in that place. So if they’re grumpy and cranky because their life hasn’t worked out the way that they want, we can have compassion for that as well. 

They’re off their path and that feels bad. So they’re making it feel bad maybe for other people, or they’re just in their stuff. So let’s dive into these five messages for each of the human design types. We’re going to start with our manifestors. So I already mentioned that the manifesto might be the one who’s going and hanging in the other room. They’re the ones sitting on the couch in the living room when everybody’s in the kitchen. And you’re wondering why they don’t want to engage with everyone. They’ll have times where they do. But these are the loners of our society. The manifestors don’t need people like the rest of us do. And it doesn’t mean that they don’t need people at all. Of course they do. They’re human. 

But they’re just not going to have that same energy of needing to be around people all the time. And they probably won’t enjoy it. If they are, they’re going to kind of be off to the side. So if you are looking at somebody, do that, think to yourself, well, maybe they’re a manifester. Now, if you are the manifestor, one feel okay doing that. But you do want to engage with people. You do want to come with good faith and take time for yourself, right? So can we do both? But then also, manifestors, we love to run the show. Manifestors love to run the show. They have a vision, they have things that they want to do. 

So a way for you to not have to be in conversation with every person and feel like you have to be generating ring yourself around the holiday party. You don’t have to be chatting with everybody and be the life of the party and all of that. You don’t have to do that. You can be a key part of the event without having to be like everybody else. And one way that I’ve seen people be successful doing this is think about how a manifesto works. Visionaries they love to control things. I do what I care about and nothing more. So what can you care about at the holiday party? Is there a dish that you can make that you can own? Is there a job that you can give yourself? 

Sort of where you’re taking care of something, where you feel like you are contributing, but you don’t necessarily have to be interacting with everybody. So if you. I think about, like a manifestor in my family, you know, they usually have like a dish or something that they are doing and owning, right? They’re working on the gravy. The gravy is like the thing. And they’re just sitting there working on it and working on it until it’s done. So it’s almost like they’re engrossed in their task and that becomes their job. And everybody’s okay with that. Now there’s harmony there. You’re leading something. What could you lead at the party? And then take time by yourself and then chill. So you interacted with the event, but you didn’t necessarily have to interact with all the people all the time. Okay, that’s one. 

That’s our manifestors now, our projectors. Projectors. It is so important for you to understand how your energy works, and it’s so important for all of us to understand how projector energy works. Projector energy wants to focus on people. It finds the energy in the room and then wants to focus on it, wants to go deep into it. It’s so important for you as a projector to remember that this can feel intense for people. So even though this is your family, even though they love you, to go deep with someone requires an invitation. Now I get it. It’s a holiday party. This is your family. These are your close friends. These are like your nearest and dearest. So you don’t need a formal invitation necessarily to be having a conversation with somebody, but to go deep into it. They let them lead it there. 

And if you notice, take notice of how others are feeling from your attention. You might find that people are, you know, you would be fine staying focused on them the whole time. Or maybe you don’t. Maybe you’re not enjoying the interaction. It’s okay for you to walk away, too. But for them, do they seem like the invitation energetically has been rescinded? They want to leave. They want to break away from it. They want to move on. You know, there might be the generator in the party, might want to go and bounce around in Social Butterfly a little bit. They might want to have more interactions Whereas a projector, you’re going to focus probably more one person. That’s going to be kind of your thing. You’re probably going to. And I say probably because of course every person is different. 

But generally projectors will end up kind of with one person because that’s just how your energy works. You’ll go deep into like the soul of a person in that 10 minute conversation, you know, so you get to do that. But how do you do that in a responsible way? How do you do that in a way that doesn’t feel so intense for the other person? And that’s usually to wait for an invitation. And you can feel the invitation. That’s what I mean. These are your nearest and dearest. They’ve invited you into their lives, so you get a bit of a pass here. But of course, before you’re giving them life advice and deep direction for them or what they’re interested in, you’re probably not having a shallow conversation with people. You’re going deeper. 

And then when you do, you know, just you are reading the energy. That’s what projectors do. So read the energy. Don’t get so caught up in the advice that you’re giving or where you want it to go. Get excited about the conversation, but always be reading the energy. That’s what projectors do. You’re reading the energy. Are you reading it correctly? Don’t forget to do that and don’t forget to take time for yourself. All of that reading energy, you soul diving into somebody else, as my friend Judy Holler calls it, diving into somebody else’s energy takes energy. So take time for yourself. Go be with yourself for a little bit. Don’t feel like you are being antisocial or incorrect in some way for taking time for yourself. You might need to shake off all of the energy that you’re taking in. 

You might be feeling drained. And when you feel drained, it’s okay to go home. It’s okay if you’re like, you feel like you’re done and the night is pretty much done. Like you’ve eaten dinner, you had dessert, you kind of done all the things, but people are lingering. You don’t have to stay, you get to go. It’s okay. You’re not going to offend anybody. All right, now let’s talk about the reflectors. Such interesting beings. First of all, reflectors, give yourself as you’re preparing for the holidays, if you are a reflector, give yourself a lot of time to yourself and for yourself leading up to that big gathering. Don’t have lots of people time like touch a tree, walks in nature, be alone, have space for yourself leading up to it. Because that energy sampling that you’re doing is cumulative. It builds and builds. 

So you need to let it out. So some of the things that you could do leading up to it, you could sleep by yourself. If you don’t do that all the time. So sleep by yourself a night or two before traditional human design. RA would say that you should be sleeping by yourself all the time, that everybody should be sleeping by themselves. But certainly all non sacral beings should sleep by themselves. But you could do that, you could try that out. If you haven’t done that before, it’s a great experiment for anyone to do is to sleep by themselves and see do you sleep better or not better when you are by yourself or when you have your partner with you. 

So you can sleep by yourself, take time by yourself, really feel like you are ready to have connection with people versus feeling forced. This should feel like a choice. And your open G center, so all reflectors, the only ones that have like of the types that we could say you have an open G center, of course mental projectors will as well. But not all projectors would. But as a type reflectors, you all have an open G. That’s a given. So that open G center is all about environment, all about our environment. The place that you are, the people that you are around, the place that you are inhabiting at the time, you’re taking it all in, you’re taking in those people, you’re taking in that experience and you take it in from like a very energetic place. 

If you don’t feel good, if it doesn’t feel good there. We don’t get to choose our family unfortunately. So all I can say is that you might want to limit your time if it feels really bad. But how you feel about your family and your friends and the people that you’re spending time with like truly is really going to determine how this all goes for you. So if you have a challenging, if you have challenging relationships in your family, if you are spending time with a lot of people that you have to spend time with but don’t necessarily want to spend time with, can you limit it and not make it about you? 

You know, there’s nothing wrong with you, it’s really just your energy is saying that they’re not a match for yours, that when you sample all of the energy in that room, your body goes no, yuck, don’t like it. These aren’t the people that are going to make me my highest and best self and put me on my path to all the things I want in life. These are the people that do exactly the opposite. Just don’t take it personally. Take time to yourself. Don’t feel like you need to stay longer than you need to. But you’re also. You’re going to be able to tell, like, is this the greatest party? Like, can you play a game where you’re just sort of like, grading the party on how it feels to you? 

Because what you’re really gauging is, like, if you give the party, on a scale of one to a hundred, you give the party a ninety. It’s not because of necessarily what you thought of the party. That’s part of it. It’s you’ve sampled the energy of everybody here and they’re all feeling 90. They’re all having a great time, they’re all enjoying themselves, they are all in good energy. And you’re like, this is a good vibe. So that’s a game you can play with yourself. If you’re having trouble or something. You can be like, what would I grade this part if I were to put it on there? Because you are like thermometer on the wall telling us what temperature it is inside. Even though we’re all in the room, but we can’t feel it like you do. 

That’s a game you could play with yourself to sort of occupy it, make it fun. If it isn’t fun already, it could still be fun, even if it is fun. All right, so that’s our reflectors. The message for generators for the holidays is you’re probably gonna be kind of the life of the party, or you have the potential to be if you like to party. Remember, this is all based on. Everything in our design is always based on, like, our own personal reaction to it and what we feel about it. But for generators, go where your sacral takes you. The conversations you want to be a part of really float through the party. I think generators generally usually have a pretty decent time at parties because if you’re having fun, the people around you are usually having fun. It’s contagious, the energy. Remember that. 

Remember that you help to set the tone. If you’re having fun, other people are going to have fun. Get involved, help. You might be the person who’s, like, pulling out a game and getting things going. Put your energy to good use, not from a mental place. Oh, what can I do to help? Really? Just, like, what do I want to do? The More you are in that energy of, ooh, this feels good. Ooh, this is fun. The more you’re adding that to the energetic frequency of the group. Good things happen when generators have fun. Other people have fun when generators have fun. So can you not with pressure to have fun and be the life of the party, but you are the life of the party because you are the life force of the party. 

If you’re having a crummy time, you’re probably going to bring that vibe in there. So how can you have a good time? Find something you enjoy doing, Put your energy to good use. Do you want to help people in the kitchen? Go help people in the kitchen. Do you want to play a game? Go play a game. Do you want to watch a movie? Watch a movie, Whatever it is, feel empowered to do that. Not just for yourself, but your energy is contagious. You do it for you, but you do it for others. Right? Have fun. And now lastly, our manifesting generators. Manifesting generators. Your holiday message for you is very similar to the generator message, but it’s a little bit of the manifester as well. 

Because the difference between us and generators is that it’s not necessarily being around a lot of people that’s going to be the thing that gets us going. Generators. It’s like there’s such a collaborative energy to the generator aura. There is such a the response mechanism, having conversations, doing things like that’s the generator vibe. So they tend to do really well balanced bouncing around. We can as well. Manifesting generators can do really well at parties, bouncing around, doing all the things. However, there is a little bit of that manifester thing that when we’re done, we’re kind of done. If we don’t want to do it, we’re really not going to want to do it. Generators, I never mean to make these things sound mean, but they’re a bit more good natured than the manifesting generators. 

We’re a bit more forceful, we want our way, we are a bit denser in that respect. So much like the manifester, is there something that you can do that feels like yours? You’re going to have your conversations, you’re going to bounce around, but eventually if you hit a wall where you’re doing something you don’t want to do, you’re probably going to get frustrated pretty quickly. So don’t take on anything out of obligation. Don’t do something you don’t want to do. And I know that there are tensions can be high with all the things that are happening right now. There Might be a little bit of biting your tongue going on. And if you’re biting your tongue, then go do something else. Shift your energy to something that feels good. Do what lights you up. Because it is also contagious. 

It’s different than the generator aura, but it is contagious that when you’re on people vibe with it, people have fun with it. So you might find that you are finding your people and you kind of talk to them the whole night, that you’re kind of like, you’re not bouncing around quite as much. You say hi to everybody, but you might have like your people that you’re like having the conversation that you want to have. And you could have it for the majority of the night. And then that might be a group of people that are like minded, where you feel like your voice is heard, you’re having fun, and then that’s it. Give yourself permission to do what feels good. 

I know that sounds so simple, but I think part of the reason that we can find holidays stressful is that we feel like we’re doing things that we don’t want to do. We’re forced and we have to get out of that energy because manifesting generators, more so than generators, are going to be resistant to being forced to do things that can quickly escalate frustrated into full out pissed off. And then when we get pissed off, we can have that manifester kind of vibe of like nobody wants to be around us when we’re angry. It’s not comfortable for others, it’s not nice and people feel it. A generator who’s frustrated doesn’t feel personal to other people. Usually a manifesting generator who’s pissed off, it can feel pretty personal. We can be kind of bitchy. And same thing with manifesters. It’s uncomfortable for other people. 

And the way that people interpret it is, ooh, she’s like, not. So I don’t know what’s up with her. I don’t know what’s going on there. Whereas, like a generator just seems to be like frustrated. More people will be open to thinking that there’s something that they could help with that person than thinking, ooh, I’m just going to stay away from that. It doesn’t repel. The repelling aura is the manifester. And a little bit with the manifesting generator, when we get into that anger, you can feel the repelling, you can feel the denseness. So people can take it personally and be really put off by it. So I hope you guys liked this. I hope you like the messages for each of the types. I hope that you can see it in your family members. 

We have greater compassion for who everybody is this holiday season. Listen to it again before the December holidays come around and you have any big gatherings. Of course, it doesn’t have to be the holidays. It can be anytime. You are gathering with a lot of people and you feel like maybe choice will be taken away. What we’ve done here is, I hope, helped you make realize what choices you can make that can make all of this smoother, easier and more enjoyable for you and for everybody else. The more we can bring positive energy to all of these things without forcing ourselves to be in positive energy, the better these gatherings and interactions with everybody can be. 

Okay, and if you’re listening to this and you’re interested in our Black Friday deals, just DM me the word Black Friday on Instagram or words DM me the words Black Friday on Instagram. I’m icoleno official. Or go to nicolelaino.com forward/black Friday and you can check out the deals that we have. We have some amazing deals for this holiday season up for you for a limited time. So check those out when you get a chance before they go off. I believe Cyber Monday they everything comes down. All right. Have a wonderful rest of your day, everybody. I appreciate you. And remember, in order to have an unshakable business, you must first become an unshakable human. Thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with human design. Happy holidays everybody. We’ll see you in the next one. 

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