Episode 449:


Hello and welcome to Unshakable with Human Design. I’m your host, Nicole Laino, and it’s just you and me today. And today I want to have a little talk about leadership. So lately I have been hearing the same thing from lots and lots of people. Client friends of mine, business besties, and everybody. Even people who are very capable, in fact, very experienced leaders. I’m hearing the same thing. They keep saying things like, you know, things feel hard right now. It feels hard to lead. 

I don’t trust the way that things work anymore, that the things that were working before aren’t working now. And a lot of people feeling like, you know, especially people who have been doing this for a while, the people that I’m talking about, they are doing some nervous system regulation work. You know, they have proven businesses. Even the people who are really experienced are still. Are still sitting there saying, like, things feel really heavy, and I’m doing everything that I used to do, but it’s not working the way that it used to. That is frustrating. That is scary for a lot of people. And if that’s been your experience, if you are going through that, I want to say really clearly right up front, you’re not imagining it. This is actually something that is very much in the air right now. 

It is very much in all of our experience. And, you know, congratulations. If you’re aware of it, you are already ahead of 90% of the world. 90% of the world is just sort of blindly going through this saying, like, oh, my God, what’s happening? But if you are listening to this show and you are even remotely aware that something energetically is changing, then you are in the minority. Okay, okay. Which is a good thing. So leadership feels really different right now because the structures that we used to orient ourselves through are no longer reliable. We’re starting to feel that. And that’s not an accident. That’s not an unfortunate thing that we’re going through. I mean, it’s uncomfortable, but we’re in the middle or we’re really early stage of a big transition. We’re in this in between, period. 

One where external authority, collective certainty, all of these things. Remember the CIS system, that feeling like, follow the system and you’ll be Safe that thinking that truth is dissolving, it’s disappearing. It’s not feeling true anymore. And that’s really scary. And what’s replacing it isn’t chaos, even though it can feel that way. It’s a requirement or internal orientation. Like what we are doing now. This is what the leadership of tomorrow is actually going to look like. We’re going from trusting the outside world to trusting ourselves. And that’s scary for a lot of people. That shift changes what leadership actually asks of you. So in this episode, I’m going to walk you through why leadership feels different right now, what’s actually changing underneath the surface, and why. The leaders who are going to thrive through this aren’t the ones with the loudest voices. 

They’re the ones who are rooted enough to stay themselves when everything else is moving. Okay, so what leadership looks like right now is it can feel heavier, it can feel more exposed, it can feel more chaotic, and it can feel like there’s just less certainty. There’s more responsibility right now. And that feeling of like, I did everything right. Why doesn’t this work the same anymore? Some people are confusing that, right? They’re thinking, like, I’m burnt out, I’m failing. It’s not that. It’s a context change that we’re going through. It’s why we’re seeing so many entrepreneurs close their businesses. One of my mentors, she was telling me in they coach seven figure, eight figure businesses. And they were saying, you know, because I told her were up, I said, I was like, yeah, 2025 was actually a great year for us. 

2024 was a great year for us. And she was like, that’s not a story I hear very often. She’s like, what I hear from everybody. She’s like, right now we have business owners who are making 3 million a year that are doing 1 million a year, which you might be like, ooh, I’d love to do 1 million a year. Well, not if you were doing 3. You wouldn’t feel that way. You wouldn’t be saying that. You know what I mean? You would be like, we’re down and I’m scared. Are we going to make it? They have employees to pay. They have responsibilities. And she was saying that some people were making 1 million a year that are making 300,000 and again, 300,000, a lot of money. But not if you were making a million the year before. That means you’re not making payroll. 

That means you have to change things drastically in your business. And some of them are Opting to opt out instead because it sort of shattered their ability to see the possibility in their business. And they were like, you know what, I’m just, I’m going to tap out. And what’s happening is they’re operating in an old paradigm and we’re entering a brand new one. And that’s something that, you know, most people are trying to solve this by doing more, right? That’s the old paradigm. The old paradigm is just do more. And I’m not saying doing less is the answer, but what’s actually required is a different way of orienting yourself. It’s a different way of relating to what you are doing. It’s a very different just way of being with this. 

Those people from before that I’m describing, people are like, I have a system, I trust the system works. And when the system stops working, they’re not trusting anymore. They are oriented to the system, they’re not oriented to themselves. This is what intuitive leadership is about. This is what human design is about. And that’s what we’re going to break down for you here. So there’s like this big shift underneath the surface, right? So there’s like been this system based leadership. I believe in the system, I believe in government, I believe in, you know, and think about all of the structures that we’re used to. 

And if you’ve been listening to my episodes where I’ve talked about the cross of planning, we’re going to talk about it a little bit today, but I really want to focus just on the leadership aspect of this in this episode. But if you’ve been listening to those episodes, you know, I’ve been talking about, you know, the shift in the structures and it’s not that they’re all going to go away and it’s just the way that we relate to them is going to be very different. So we’re moving out of this system based leadership. I believe in the company, I believe in the structure. I believe that if I show up and I work from 9am to 5pm I will get paid this amount of money and I will be good for the rest of my life. 

That may still end up being true for some people. I’m sure it’s going to be true for a lot of people. But it’s also, that’s not going to be what we are all trusting as a collective anymore. And what we’re moving into is self referenced leadership where we’re oriented to ourselves, where we’re oriented to our own intuition, our own feelings, our own decision. Making. So this is a good thing, okay? Because the old way. Let me break this down just a little bit further, okay? So the old way is when you’re uncertain, I’m going to look for a system or a structure to provide that certainty, right? That borrowed certainty. That is circumstantial certainty, right? And that’s going to collapse faster now because systems are coming down, they are changing. 

I’m not saying that they’re all going to crumble, but they are going to change fundamentally in the way that we relate to them and in their structure. So when the old structures give way, you either feel crushed by the collapse or you’re forced to find something inside yourself to hold you that’s important and that’s not a bad thing. It’s just not what we’re used to, right? But if you’ve been following human design and you have been diving into this with me or with other people, I’m sure if you were diving into it with me, you’re probably. I am not your first and I won’t be your last human design person. And that’s okay. There’s many of us out there and there’s so many perspectives on this and you take what works for you, right? 

But the mind, the reason why human design is so powerful with this, I mean, I could go on and on about why it is, but just a few points are the mind is what holds you in the system. The mind is what wants certainty. Remember, the not self of the Ajna is to not feel certain. The mind doesn’t feel certain, which sends it into the not self. So when there isn’t a system to hold on to, the mind’s really looking for that. Because the mind loves to know what’s coming next. The logical brain wants to figure everything out, and the abstract brain wants to figure out why everything in the past happened, right? Wants to understand it all. 

And the logical brain wants to figure out every pattern and figure out what’s going on and how it all works so we can protect ourselves in the future. It loves a system. In fact, it’s what invented systems. So strategy and authority is what breaks you free from this. Because you’re no longer trusting your mind. You’re no longer looking to your mind for the answers. You look inside of yourself. You wait for a feeling in your body. You are connecting to your environment, depending on what your authority is. And when you start to follow that, you realize that the systems are not necessary anymore. For that, we still need systems. We’re still going to need like healthcare. So I really hope we come up with some really great solutions that are very new world focused. 

But from a leadership perspective, leadership is a whole new game now because I want you to think about what people are dealing with. This is why they are having trouble investing in things. It’s why they are having trouble showing up. It’s why they are having trouble taking action. Because they want certainty. And we see this even when the systems are there. Right. It’s why we buy PDFs, that’s why we buy all these systems. How do I plug into a system so that I feel safe? Right. And to some degree that’s, that can be helpful, but we can also become addicted to that and we can also become where we think the system and the strategy is going to save us. You’ve probably dealt with that yourself, right. 

And not been able to maybe lead yourself through that where you’ve attached yourself to a strategy or you thought that the strategy would solve all your problems and then you realize that you actually internally are the thing that’s holding you back. The strategy actually had very little to do with it. Yeah, me too. Been there, no shame in the game. Okay. So leadership now is asking for something different. And this is where this feminine energy is going to come in even bigger. We have seen it. So you might be saying like Nicole, I know, nervous system regulation, nervous system leadership, expansion in your energy. We’ve been talking about this for years. Yeah. We’ve been talking about first of all in the, you know, personal development industry. Right. The whole world is not having the same conversations that we are in this space. Right. 

They’re starting to. And yes. And it’s only been a few years, but I want you to think about it. We are starting to feel the pull toward the future. Our intuition is what has been telling us to explore these themes to deepen our connection to these tools and to these practices to prepare us. Right. So congratulations your part of the leaders already by being even introduced to this work. Okay. So leadership now is asking for nervous system stability. This is why deconditioning is so powerful. So I look at deconditioning not just as stop doing the thing that the not self is be misaligned because most of us can’t do that. I look at deconditioning from a nervous system perspective. 

I look at deconditioning like it’s usually trauma or beliefs and things that we have taken on throughout our lives that we have to work through before we’re able to stop being caught in a pattern of conditioning okay. And we’re. The world is trying to condition us to its way every day. So we are both dealing with the now and then we’re dealing with the past trauma and the past conditioning that we have to like I always call it like, you know, there’s two layers to this, right? The past trauma cleanup of going through your open centers and going through your bridging gates and the other things in your human design that are helping you. I use human design as a map to where you might be stuck. Where are you not following your process? 

Where have you taken on somebody else’s thoughts, beliefs, desires and made them your own? Where is that doing that to you? There’s that and then there’s the day to day conditioning of what we are battling with, dealing with whatever we are exposed to. Right? So there’s two layers. The past stuff is like the deep clean of the house. If you move into a new house, right? Don’t you think about this? You’re the new house, right? You’re moving into the new house. You’re like, okay, I’m going to take on this business. I’m going to do all these things. It’s a little yucky in here. People left stuff and there’s like, there’s some mystery goop and things. I’m going to hire someone or I’m going to do it. I’m going to deep clean this house. 

So I feel like this is my place and there’s nothing old sitting in here, right? Feels really good. You still have to clean the house and maintain it after that. So you start out with the fully cleaned house. It’s like scrubbed and spick and span but then after that you’re going to live in it, you’re going to make more mess, right? That’s the day to day maintenance of your nervous system. Okay? So that is required. That’s what leadership now is going to ask from us is that nervous system stability, the nervous system expansion. It’s going to ask of us to make decisions without guarantees. Self trust is going to be so important. It’s really going to be the engine for everything. Because if you don’t trust yourself, then you’re probably going to be stuck. 

There aren’t going to be these strong systems to hold onto. I mean, this is what I use coaching for. I find coaches that I trust, I find people that I think are doing a good job and have a real system behind what they do. There are some people that are going to be really great at these things. So what we have to do is we have to seek those people out and we plug into that. But we’re building trust with ourselves that whole time. That self trust is what allows us to take action on these things and don’t be overly reliant on them. Don’t feel like you have to do everything the way that they do it. You know, use it as something to be in relationship to. It’s going to ask us also to be seen without external validation. 

We’re really going to have to show up. It’s your success is going to be, and I mean success, just like in a human way. So material success, but also just your success in life fulfillment. This energy is not going to allow us to. Because you’re going to slip into shadow. I should just say it like that. You’ll slip into the shadow of what is coming and what is here. If you are seeking external validation because it’s so much about personal power now. So what this is going to mean is that we have more personal responsibility on ourselves and there will be less reassurance from the outside world. It’s going to have to come from in us. Okay? And I know that can sound difficult and I know that can sound scary. 

And if you’re feeling that right now, I don’t want you to think about that as bad. It’s an initiation. Anything new is scary, Anything new is new. And we have to readjust and we have to learn it right? It’s not going to incapacitate you. It is not going to knock you down, not if you’re doing the work. Okay? But here’s the other good thing. The playing field is totally leveled because everyone is going to have to adjust to this. This is not a personal thing. This is not something that you and only you are going to face. Everybody will be going through this and there will be lots of people that are preparing. But not everybody will, and certainly not the majority. They won’t know it’s even happening. Okay? So you could position yourself ahead by doing the work. Okay? 

Leadership as a whole, like leading yourself is going to be really paramount. This is going to be the thing that is driving everything. That’s going to be where your confidence comes from. It’s going to be what attracts people to you. Because think about it. The more unsure people are, the more they’re going to see somebody who is leading themselves and they’re going to say, I want to be connected to him or her or they. I want to be connected to them because I want what they have. Can I learn some of that? You Know, through proximity, through learning, through. Can I just absorb some of that? Right. So it’s not going to get harder because you got weaker. It’s not going to get harder because you know everything’s changing. It’s just going to be a lot more honest. 

Leadership is going to have to really come from inside of you. New leaders are going to have to embody leadership. They’re not just going to be able to talk about it because people are already sniffing that out. I think that’s why a lot of those people that had a system that worked but weren’t leaders, it’s not working for them anymore. That’s why they’re tapping out this new leader that is emerging where, which you are going to be. If you continue listening to the show, if you continue on this journey with human design, you are going to be one of those people and you’ll get to choose how you lead, whether it’s through a business or whether it’s through just being a stand up member of your community, whatever that community is. 

But what you’re going to learn how to do, what you’re going to know how to do through embodiment of your practices is tap into internal authority and have you know, it’s discernment over certainty. You’re not going to know all the time whether something will work. You’re just going to say, you know, it’s my favorite saying that I got from James Webmore. I will either get the result that I want or the lesson that I need. It’s like we make a good choice and then you give it up to God and you say, I’m going to put my best foot forward. This feels right and if I trust that it feels right, then that’s all I can get. That’s the best I can do. So I move and I go with that. Right. 

And then the other thing that leaders are going to have is they’re going to regulate, overreact. It’s not going to be a reactionary. People are going to add to the chaos. Regulated people are going to be the ones that magnetize people. To them, performance leadership is just, it’s over. If you are not really truly in your leadership era and people are going to sniff that out and it’s going to be difficult for you. So it’s really about leading yourself. That’s kind of groundbreaking in and of itself, right? Is that we can tend to think of leadership course and read books like, you know, Habits of Highly Effective People. We have all of these things that we do to become Leaders. But the truth is that what people are most attracted to from a leadership perspective is somebody who’s honest and somebody who’s leading themselves. 

And that example kind of does it. Now, of course, there’s thought leadership. There’s all these other ways that we think of leadership. But it starts with being centered in your core to be a truly good leader. I’m not talking about, like, there are shitty leaders out there. I’m not suggesting that. We’re talking about being, like, a truly aligned and, you know, a leader with integrity. So leadership now is about. It’s something that you are. It is not something that you do. So the last thing I kind of want to say about this is that I think we can get caught up. And I think that certainty thing comes in, which is that we think that leaders are the people that have answers, right? I don’t have all the answers. 

I am a leader to a lot of people because I’m living this and people can sense that I can help them navigate these waters. They sense that I have integrity. I hear that a lot from people where they’re like, you seem different than a lot of coaches, and I appreciate that. I don’t have the biggest audience, I don’t have the biggest business, but I do have really loyal people in my world that sense something from me that I walk the walk. And because I walk the walk, that gives me the ability to be a thought leader. I have this show because I’m walking the walk. And I have things to talk to you about because I do them, and I have lots of thoughts about the things that I do. 

So if this interests you, if you are being a leader of the next generation, if you are looking to move forward in alignment into this next part, because we’ve got 2027 coming, that’s where this is all coming from. This change is happening. It’s the cross of planning is ending. Not a bad thing. Again, not a terrible thing. It’s just a change. The cross of the Sleeping Phoenix is coming, and it’s also the year of the fire horse. 2026 is going to be the year of the Fire Horse, right after this episode airs. So this is a preparation window. This is the year that we are kind of. We are in the preparatory phase, right? And it’s about orientating ourselves before we’re going to accelerate, before that energy starts to move really fast. 

And so if you are interested in this, because once you understand what’s shifting, you stop reacting to it and you can actually lead through it. And if this interests you. This is why I created my newest masterclass. I’m teaching on February 11th. So if you’re listening to this before then, you can join us live. If you’re listening after, you can still purchase the replay. So just go to nicoleliano.com/phoenix. You can register there, or you can go to Instagram and you can DM me the word Phoenix and we’ll set you up right there. Okay. Okay. Well, thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you. And remember, in order to have an unshakable business, you must first become an unshakable human. So thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with human design. We’ll see you next time. 

To purchase The 2027 Change: Humanity’s Evolution & How to Lead Through the Shift DM Nicole “PHOENIX” on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/nicolelainoofficial/ or click the link here: nicolelaino.com/phoenix. PLEASE NOTE: Members of The HD Authority Lab, Aligned Brand Builder, and Business By Design all get access to this workshop. No need to purchase.