Episode 451:

Hello and welcome to Unshakable with Human Design. I’m your host, Nicole Laino, and I want to talk about something that I hear a lot. I hear it in the clarity calls that I have with potential clients. I hear it all over the place. And most people are saying it quietly, almost like they’re confessing something when they say it. And they’ll say something like, I’ve invested in a lot of things that didn’t work. And then they say something or I can feel it from them is that they don’t trust themselves anymore to follow through. There’s two things that happen. I don’t trust the programs that are out there. I don’t trust people to hold up their end of the bargain. I don’t trust coaches to deliver on what they say. I don’t trust the promises they make. And. 

And I don’t trust myself because I also know that I’m part of this. There’s usually that. It’s like, it feels like there’s been an imbalance, right. They didn’t deliver, but also I didn’t show up. And you know, what’s underneath all of that? It’s usually more of the disappointment in themselves that is really causing all the problems that they are continuing to have. So I want to say clearly, because this matters. I want to make this very clear. Most programs don’t fail because you’re lazy, you’re undisciplined, you’re inconsistent. Most of the time. People don’t get results from this, from these things because they are designed for information transfer. They are not designed for embodiment. Right. And that distinction changes everything. Because if you think about that, the embodiment is. It’s sort of like teacher man to fish. We’re ending that. 

Like, follow my system to a T and you’ll. You’ll get the same results. We’re in. That era is already over. If it wasn’t two years ago, it certainly is now. And again, we’ve talked about. If you listen to the last couple of episodes that I’ve done where I’ve talked about self trust and you know, the energetics of business are going to matter a whole lot more, and if you’ve listened to those episodes Where I’ve been talking about self trust being necessary, that people. That feeling of attaching to a system and getting certainty from a system. This is part of the reason why people feel so unmoored right now is because the systems that we’re working don’t work anymore. So now what do we do? So really what’s happening underneath all that? 

I want to talk about the energetics of this, and then I want to talk a little bit about, like, the strategic elements of. Because programs still work, courses still work, these things still work. It’s just the way that they’re taught and the way that they are facilitated is really the difference. And especially because, like, if you are a spiritual entrepreneur, so if you are more open in your design, if you are not like the typical, like, 13 generator or something, where, you know, you following. You’re following that, like, that very structured. And that feels good to you, that very structured approach. If the systems of the past are not working for you or if you’ve. Because they didn’t work for me, I want to be really clear with that. 

I was never the type of person who could follow somebody’s system, go straight through it and make it work. No, I had to. And I want to be really clear about this. The difference between me and somebody else, you know, me making multiple six figures and having the business that I have and somebody else who has taken the same programs, and it didn’t work for them. The only difference between us, most likely, is that I had the tenacity to stick with something long enough to figure out how it worked for me, that I worked with myself and worked on the energetic side of things, and I let go of the idea that their system had to work, like, out of the box. 

That I look at systems and I look at programs and I look at the things that are built and I say, like, ooh. Well, I look at it more like, you know, I got a bunch of parts and I’m going to build my own thing. I have some instructions, but I don’t think I can. They’re written in another language, right? So I look at it more like that, and that’s the difference. And what I did learn to do was I learned to work with my energy, okay? And this is really important. So I want to talk to you. I want to go back to, like, that. That feeling of, like, being disappointed that I didn’t get the return on my investment. I didn’t deliver, I didn’t follow through. I let everybody down. All of that falls under the great Big old heading of shame. 

And shame is a business killer. Shame is an abundance blocker, probably the biggest one. When we have failed investments and we have that narrative going around in our heads, we bring it into everything that we do. And what that does energetically is we start attracting that. We start attracting more of that lack. We start attracting. We hesitate because we are scared. So we are not being a self leader. We are not showing up. We might be saying all the leadership things, but we’re not showing up. And we show up online and then we disappear for a while and we’re not consistent because we’re battling ourselves to get everything done right. And what that does is you start to attract more people who are afraid to commit because they don’t get commitment energy from you. They get feared, fearful energy, they get shaky energy. 

And you wonder why people aren’t investing with you. And that internal narrative, what it really becomes when you have shame is what’s wrong with me? And you can’t walk into your sales calls, you can’t walk onto social media and project wisdom. You know, if you want to be a thought leader, if you want to be a leader or a coach or somebody who holds people through things, if you want to be. I mean, even if you want to be. This applies at corporate and stuff too. When you know, not so much the investment part, but if you don’t believe in yourself, if you don’t believe like to your bones that you are deserving and worthy of the things that you are striving for, they usually don’t come or it’s so much harder. 

But I also want to be clear that this isn’t purely a willpower issue. This is a nervous system issue. This is a nervous system programming issue. We don’t get rid of shame by saying don’t feel shame anymore. It’s not how it works. And if you’ve tried it, you probably already know. It is a just knowing something and knowledge and learning doesn’t change behavior, right? People blame themselves, but the problem is usually in the way that they are being guided because they show up to do something, you show up to learn something, you show up to create a result. And somebody just keeps telling you, just do it, just do it. And then that person is sitting there, but I can’t, I’m in my own way. I was talking with a client this week and she said something about she’s a breathwork facilitator. And. 

And I asked her why breath work. Tell me why it matters. Tell me why it matters. To you. Tell me why you teach this. Tell me what the mission is. And she was like, well, I thought about. She’s like, when I. I. I used to go into strategy. I used to. I can be a really analytical person. She’s like, when I started my business, when I started all of this, I was like, okay, I’m gonna attack the strategy. I’m gonna go after it. I’m gonna like. And she. I kept doing all of these strategies, and it was breath work that showed me that I was the problem. Me, my emotions, my energy, my blocks, although I don’t love that word, but I was the problem. And she’s like, but I’m also the solution. And that’s what breath work can open up for you. 

And I couldn’t agree with her more. I do breath work every single morning. And sometimes I do even longer journeys and stuff like that to really go deep, especially right now. I say this, and I’m saying this with a bit of caution, because I don’t. I never want to push people into a feeling like we’re forcing. I’m never advocating forcing things, but I do have to say that a lot of the common knowledge out there is that clarity leads to action. And, you know, when you don’t have it, you just force it. And I’m never advocating forcing. However, we do have to do the reps. We do have to show up, and you do have to. One of my coaches always said she’s like, you know, entrepreneurs have to train like an athlete for their. Like, an athlete trains for their sport. 

And I agree with that. And I really misread that when she first said it, because I was like, okay, I have to be ruthless. I have to be crazy. I have to, like, go. You know, like, I would hear about, like, Michael Phelps swimming for, like, six hours a day. And it’s just like, I can’t even imagine the physical shape you have to be in. And it’s like, okay, what was he doing to get in that shape? And he’s eating and he’s doing all this. It’s like his whole world is this thing, and it is that. It’s just different than that. I don’t mean that to sound like this is a all encompassing, difficult, forcing, draining thing, but when I say train like an athlete trains for their sport, I mean nervous system. 

Work on expanding your nervous system, cleaning out the trauma that is there. Like the shame. Make no mistake about it. Having debt. If you feel shame from the debt is trauma, and it’s getting in your Way if you have fear that you’ve let everybody down in your family, that is all over your business, baby. And if you don’t deal with it, you will be stuck in these patterns forever. I didn’t move meaningfully in my business until I took care of, I cleaned house. So an unregulated nervous system does not integrate insight over consumption is where we usually go because we get worked up and we get afraid. So we over consume and that creates paralysis sometimes because we have so much going on in our head and it doesn’t create movement and then we go into thinking about something more. 

This is a nervous system problem. This is not a strategic problem. You’re trying to solve a nervous system problem with a strategic process and that doesn’t work and it certainly doesn’t work in a sustainable way. So how do we shift this and how do we get a return on the investment that we make? Well, I believe that where coaching is going and where these programs are going and where the knowledge business is going is moving into embodiment. It’s moving into embodiment. It is teaching a man to fish. It is teaching people how to navigate the roller coaster of entrepreneurial life. It is in order to be the person who’s providing these services. You can might teach people how to do their taxes. There could be what your expertise is one thing, but your ability to do what you need to do as an entrepreneur. 

And if you’re teaching people things, it’s going to have to be on an embodiment level. We’re going to have to go deeper than just telling people like follow this blindly and trust that motivation is. And trust are like a muscle. Trust is a muscle. It’s a thing that we build trust. And as we build trust we become brave. And that comes through small completed actions that comes from showing up and consistency. And you’re going to frame. We have to reframe what consistency looks like and what it means to us because consistency does not mean I show up every day, I go from 9am to 5pm and I work and I work. No, that’s not what it means. This is what we’re moving toward now. I believe it is flexible structures that we learn to work within. 

And that’s what I think human design is the most powerful tool for because it isn’t telling you to do it my way, it’s helping you find your way. So what does that mean? I’ll give you an example from a way that I work within my design but still have a structure. So I still show up consistently, but I’m not creating content every day. There are days where I don’t do it at all. I had to do this podcast. I’m batch recording some podcasts. Not something I do very often. I’m trying to get better at it because I’ve realized that I need a little bit more structure in the way that I do things. So I am working toward making that feel aligned. How can I make having a structure feel a bit more aligned? 

For me, what that means is I leave big chunks of time before I have to have something done. The more space I have, the more creative I am. The more space I have, the more freedom I have to move in the time that I’m given and do the things that feel right when they feel right. So I have this. I know the things that I need to do. I have priorities. I make sure I meet those priorities. But the timing of those. I try to be as flexible with them as possible because I’m a manifesting generator. I’m an emotional authority. There’s gonna be a lot of times I don’t feel like doing what I need to do. And I’m a manifesting generator. So I need to be in response to these things. So how can I. 

Like there is an art to being who you are, and everybody has the ability to get what they want done. You do have to want it. I encourage everybody to really look at the things that they are striving for and make sure you really want it. Because if you don’t want it, don’t make yourself go after them. Torture yourself going after something that you don’t want. I want this business, and I wanted it so badly. And that came from a place where I felt like I was really doing what I was supposed to do. And that’s what gave me the tenacity to constantly get knocked down in those first couple of years over and over again. And I got better at the things I sucked at. It’s putting in the reps, but we can confuse that. We can think. 

Putting in the reps means I have to do this every day and I have to. That’s not what it means at all. It means keeping the commitments that you make to yourself. And within that structure, you can have flexibility. It doesn’t mean you have to do. Consistency doesn’t mean you’re doing the same thing every day. Consistency doesn’t mean that you’re doing the same thing every week. Consistency means I meet the commitments that I set for myself. And some of that is alignment and some of it is doing the reps. Nobody likes doing anything they suck at. And when we are just starting to do something and we haven’t built consistency with something, we haven’t built safety with it. So that’s a nervous system thing and a structural strategy thing. It’s not consistency is safety and it’s not discipline. 

I want to, I want to make sure that I’m really clear about that. I don’t see it as like, as being hardcore disciplined. Consistency is about creating safety with these things that we do. So if something is scary, we don’t feel safe with it yet. If we feel that we suck at something, it feels scary to us. We don’t feel safe with it yet. That will cause us to hold back from doing it. So we will do it less. So we will be less consistent. So expansion of the nervous system. Usually there is some sort of discipline with our time schedule. So I schedule my time very intentionally. There’s a lot of space on my calendar. I have a lot to do. I don’t schedule the things that I do, but I do. I have built enough self discipline. I will use that word. 

I’ve built enough self discipline and safety in myself where I’m not scared. I won’t meet my commitment. I’m like, I’ll get it done. I know I’ll get it done. And I’m not gonna stress about it until it happens. I will get it done and I know I will. And I have ways of working with my energy and with my design that I make getting it done easier feel fun. I’m not saying a hundred percent of the time, sometimes we do something we don’t feel like doing because it just needs to get done. But can we be in that a very small percentage of the time? So this whole episode came from hearing those conversations from people. 

But then also, you know, that shame that people were feeling, but then also hearing from people or just seeing people seeing what everybody seems to get stuck on when they are trying to, particularly when they’re getting to that. You know, I want to hit six figures. I want to get to the six figure mark. It’s the inconsistency that is keeping you from getting there. It is the on, off with your business. And that is a nervous system thing. So what I have created is all of my programs are embodiment focused. They are not knowledge, purely knowledge based programs. We just created something called the Human Design Authority Lab. 

The whole mission of this is to get you into physical action with key places where we want you to build trust and safety with the things that you’re doing and then creating human design content and a human design community where you can start to find your way so that you’re finding your way into these things. I always say, like, I can’t help people when they are just thinking about like, how can I get moving, how can I be more productive, how can I get these things done? It’s like the way we find the problem is for you to try to do the thing and come to me and see how it’s not showing up for you. Run into the wall and then we know where the wall is and then we can kick it down. 

So the whole Human Design Authority lab is about getting you to step into your authority, find your way with human design, but also take the actions that most people aren’t taking. And these two things can change your business. These two things, this is how you get leads. So many people are like, how do I grow my audience? If you. It is about being visible in the beginning. That’s really the whole thing. And there are so many ways that you can be visible. We are actually taking you through those. In the Human Design Authority Lab, we do masterclasses every month on human design and stuff like that. And then we do co working sessions with my team where they take you through actually taking action on the things that will move the needle in your business, building that strategic muscle. 

We have a NEW HD membership community!! It is all about creating alignment, action, and consistency in your business with Human Design. To join The HD Authority Lab at the special pre-sale rate, click the link here: http://nicolelaino.com/lab or DM Nicole “Lab” on Instagram for info.

And then my job is to take you and help you find your way, help you figure out the codes of you so that you can step into your own inner authority and expand your nervous system so that you’re able to do these things better and better. And by the time you end up, it’s a monthly membership, but by the time, if you stay with us for a whole year or longer, you should be growing and creating real results in your business just by creating some consistency in these two key areas. These are like the first like big movements that I need to get people to make. So we created a membership just for that, just focused on that. And there’s so much more. We have guest speakers, we have all sorts of things that go on in there. 

It’s really fun and it’s the most affordable thing we’ve ever done. If you’re interested in it, please check out the Authority lab. Go to nicolelaino.com/lab or DM me the word lab on Instagram. I’m @nicolainoofficial and we can hook you up there with the details. I hope you join us there. If you have any questions, please let us know. But I appreciate you. And remember, in order to have an unshakable business, you must first become an unshakable human. So thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with Human Design. We will see you next time. 

We have a NEW HD membership community!! It is all about creating alignment, action, and consistency in your business with Human Design. To join The HD Authority Lab at the special pre-sale rate, click the link here: http://nicolelaino.com/lab or DM Nicole “Lab” on Instagram for info.