Episode 257

Welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, the show dedicated to helping entrepreneurs use human design to shift from hustle to flow without sacrificing results. Come here to become an unshakeable human and build an unshakeable business according to your human design. I’m your host, Nicole Laino.

Hello and welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, everyone. I’m your host, Nicole Laino. We are here together today, just the two of us, and I want to welcome you. Hi, how are you doing? How is your day going? I am wonderful and I’m happy to be here with you as always. And today we are going to talk a little bit about the secret to being confident.

What’s the secret to feeling worthy? Now, Jamie Kern Lima, I don’t know if you’re familiar with her, she was the founder of It Cosmetics. She’s obviously a very successful woman, one of the first female CEOs of a billion dollar cosmetics company. She has a book out called Worthy, and it talks about the difference between confidence and worthiness.

And I was really in love with the way that she put it and I wanted to bring it up here. I did talk about worthiness on the show fairly recently, but I want to bring these two together because I want to talk about it in the context of being unshakeable, which is what we talk about on this show, and building an unshakeable business, a lot of people want to know, how do I combine human design and my business, and I want to talk about this piece that’s often missed between those two things.

So, let’s just talk about confidence and worthiness. Jamie Kern Lima in her book talks about how confidence is like the exterior presentation of something. So, it can be shallow, it can be skin deep. People can seem to have a lot of confidence, but not internally feel worthy of things. And then the opposite can be true.

People can have that internal deep sense of being worthy or feeling equal to the thing that they want, but lack confidence. Not be able to put it out on the outside and present it to the outside world. They lack that confidence. But both of these are necessary, though, when we’re talking about being unshakeable, when we’re talking about building an unshakeable business, they are linked.

Confidence and worthiness are both necessary. You have to raise your level for both of them. So today I want to talk about these two, and I want to talk about how you can use human design to raise both of these. And I’m going to tell you about a couple of clients, I’m obviously not going to talk about who they are, but I’m going to give some samples of things that we’ve been working on both inside my Business By Design Mentorship, and then private clients, that I’m just seeing these themes come up. And they come up all the time, and they come up at every level.

So, every episode of this show, I end with my little tagline where I say, in order to have an unshakeable business, you must first become an unshakeable human, and then I thank you for letting us help you on your journey of becoming Unshakeable with Human Design. So why does that matter?

Why do you have to be an unshakeable human before you can have an unshakeable business? Why? Because if you are easily shaken, if your confidence is shaken, if your worthiness is shaken, if you are shaken, you will make decisions out of panic and out of lack. You will start to be unstable. And then you make bad decisions and then you maybe put out a projection of feeling unworthy or feeling afraid.

You send out a frequency of, I don’t got this, and people react to it, so sales start to dry up, so you’re showing up less, so you are not able to be consistent in the way that you show up, or in the frequency that you show up.

And we all have our strategies that we use to try to make us feel safe. So for all of my open head center people, we go, someone else must have the answer. So we run around and we try to pay somebody to solve the problem for us because we think that we don’t know because we’re not unshakeable. We are being taken off our path because we’re afraid, because we got shaken. Because our roots didn’t grow down deep enough that the tree started to come out of the ground.

And we become ungrounded and then your business becomes ungrounded. And then you’re always trying to course correct. And you’re trying to right the ship all the time when you are fighting with this. This is why tactics on top of a shaky foundation aren’t going to help you. Don’t hang a hammock from a brand new tree.

It’s not strong enough to hold your weight. You’ll get in it and you’ll break the tree. And that is a very common thing to happen is that we try to hang these fancy strategies, these tactics that work for other people on top of the brand new tree that has not established its roots yet.

And we wonder why it keeps getting yanked out of the ground. And then every time we put it back in, it’s a little less strong. Why? Because it’s got to start all over again. And then we look at that tree and we go, I don’t know if it’s going to make it. I don’t know if it’s got what it takes.

We do the same thing. Cause we put ourselves into these states of anxiousness and fear. And when we make these decisions from that ungrounded place, from that place of lack, from that place of fear, when we make them from our anxiousness, from our fear, from our uncertainty, From that feeling like we don’t know the answer ourselves.

So someone else needs to help us. I need somebody to save me, that is causing a lack of confidence and it causes you to question your worthiness So what happens is you make a bad decision, you start to lose your confidence because you’re like, oh wow, I shouldn’t have done that And you beat yourself up. And then you start to question whether you are really worthy of the thing that you have been charging after. And the truth is that you just made decisions from an ungrounded place. You haven’t learned to ground yourself. You haven’t learned how to establish the strong roots.

This happens at every level. We think that once you have the seven figure business, or you have this success, whatever the goal is, the common misconception is to think, once I get there, this won’t be a problem for me anymore, because I’ll feel worthy once I get there.

But you’ve heard the saying, new level, new devil. That doesn’t happen. Every time you up the stakes, every time you climb to a new level, you’re looking for the next level. And there’s a whole new set of challenges that are not necessarily challenging you on the exterior alone.

It’s not just the outside world. It’s not just the skills you need to master. It’s not just the number of leads that you need to get. It’s not the number of sales that you need to make. It’s the person you need to be in order to be able to get that result. In order to stay the course. You’re gonna have higher stakes.

So when you get to that seven figure business model, when you get to that level, you’re going to be worrying about different things. But you’re still gonna be worrying. There’s still going to be stuff there. You’re still gonna worry about how you have to make payroll, that you have people depending on you.

You have a staff of ten people and their families are relying on you to put food on the table. That’s a lot of pressure. It doesn’t mean that you don’t go to bed at night wondering, can I do this? It’s just, as you level up, usually you start investing in the tools that help you to be able to handle anything, to put you in what I call, I’ve got this energy. Can you be in that all the time?

There’s a process for you to go through to shed whatever it is that you are feeling, to work through it. And to be able to attach to what you want instead of what you don’t want. I call this process becoming unshakeable. It’s really becoming an authority. And unshakeable is a necessary state that we have to cultivate.

We have to cultivate that state of feeling like I’ve got this because if you don’t have it, your energy and your attention. are completely wrapped up in your fear of, can I make this work? You’re thinking from a lower level of mind. So the things that you are doing, this is how we get end up being busy instead of productive.

This is how we end up putting a lot of energy into a task or into something that doesn’t really make sense. It’s because someone told us that was the way. It’s because we were taught that it worked that way for somebody else. So that’s what I have to do. And you hear about 80 different things that worked for people.

So you’re trying to do all 80 of them. It’s not really a great use of your energy or your time. That comes from not being unshakeable. That comes from not having deep roots. Because you are so caught up in, I don’t know how to do this, so I’m going to try to do everything that you end up getting nothing accomplished.

You’re burnt out. You’re tired. You’re lacking confidence because it’s not working because you’re not really channeling your energy into something because you don’t know what that something is. So I’ll just try everything. That is a sign that you are not grounded. And if you’re not grounded, success will take longer for you to achieve.

You will not be able to get there. Or when you do, you will be burnt out as all get out. And you won’t know how to do it again. Or if you did so many things, you threw so much against the wall to see if something would stick, you got there, but it’s not sustainable. So you look at it and you’re just like, I don’t know if I could do that again, because I don’t know if I have the energy.

If this is how it’s going to be, I don’t know if I even want it anymore. All stems from making decisions from a disempowered place. From a fearful place. from a place of anxiety or from a place of pure ego, from pure ego, I want it so I’m going to go get it. And then you frantically take action. Human design teaches us how to come back into ourselves, find our process, teach us how to regulate our energy so that we can be the ultimate authority in our lives.

So I want to tell you a little story about some clients. I’m going to pepper them through here, but how does worthiness connect to human design? Let’s start there. There’s something about looking at your chart, and this happened with a couple of clients this past week.

So I felt like this theme was coming up, and I wanted to bring it up on the show because there’s something about looking at your design and looking at the way that you were created. You were created on purpose and this is who you are. This is who you’re meant to be. This is who you’re not meant to be.

That’s what the chart tells us. The definition in your chart, your profile, these are the things that tell you what your path might look like, that tell you why you might operate differently and have a very different looking path than somebody else. Now, maybe you want what that person has.

So you’re looking at person X, you’re seeing how they did it. You’re seeing the journey that they’ve had. And you’re looking and you’re saying, I want that thing. So you’re emulating them and you’re trying to be like them. And if your journey looks more difficult than theirs, you’re thinking you’re doing something wrong. You start to shame yourself. You start to wonder if you have what it takes. But the truth is that they are designed differently than you are. That your path very well may have more obstacles in front of it. So I have a client who is a three line. And the three line definitely learns through trials.

It is a path of trial and error. Now, I’m not saying that that is comfortable. I’m not saying that you should be excited about that. Although if you can be, wonderful. If you can really embrace what it means to be a three line, then you can not look with criticism at maybe why some of the things have happened the way they’ve happened.

It’s very difficult. It takes a lot of time to go through your design, understand it so deeply, and then be able to observe it in your life. That’s the work. To be able to know my design. I know who I am so well. Now I’m going to start to see how these things show up. I’m going to start to see how my design is playing out in the world.

For me, I see my five line everywhere. I see my gate 64 everywhere. I see my gate 29 everywhere. I see my gate 26 everywhere. When you start to see the pieces, you can start to see them play out in your life, and you start to be able to more objectively observe them, rather than criticize them, rather than try to fix them, rather than try to change something that is inherently you, which only drives you further into the shadow, and takes you out of your power. So this is the empowerment process that human design holds for us.

I had a client where we were talking about some of the things that she’s going through, and I was drawing attention to how there is a key piece that I go into in business by design, of how your niche can be sort of unveiled in your chart. And I was saying your niche has this aspect, which you also have. I see this theme of these gates coming up for you right now. And what if your process through this is somehow going to unveil exactly how you help these people. Because that’s sort of a gap with where she is right now, figuring out how she’s going to help and what she’s really here to deliver those people.

She knows her skills, she knows what she is, she knows what she does, and she knows what she does well, she knows what she brings. But when she’s looking at it through the eyes of what you sell and how you sell it to certain people, I’m like, well, if these certain people have this kind of problem, and you are experiencing that problem, perhaps you are in a stage right now where once you see your way through it, that question will answer itself. Of how you serve these people, of what you have to offer.

And unfortunately you have to go through this little journey. Can you look at it now that it actually is serving your purpose for you to be in this situation right this very moment? Now it shifts your energy about the way that you are experiencing whatever it is that you are going through and you’re looking at it with greater purpose, with some softer eyes and attention, and you can get curious about it.

And then you start to see how you can apply it and help other people. Most people miss this. Most people are just like, how do I use this thing and sell it to somebody? And that doesn’t typically work. And they’re getting stuck in that space of how do I make this gate part of my message and part of what I do?

I know, I’ll build a program around this thing because that’s what human design tells me I’m here to do. And you know what? That doesn’t really translate into an offer that serves people. It might serve you momentarily, doesn’t typically serve you long term.

So this is the process. It is a much more artistic and living your design process of becoming unshakeable. Because you cannot be an authority to others until you are an authority to yourself. So many people are trying to express their confidence, put themselves out there, stand out online. But you can’t do that if underneath it you feel unworthy and you lack confidence.

Or if you’re presenting confidence but there’s internal unworthiness, then that is going to keep you from really being able to put out a strong signal. What we refer to as magnetism in this industry. There’s going to be a sense that people can feel from you that something’s not right. Something is off. You’re not fully believing what you are putting out there.

And if you have worthiness but you don’t have confidence, you’re still feeling sheepish about the way that you show up, human design makes it both very personal, all the things that you are, and less personal. You look at yourself through very different eyes. Your awareness shifts and it becomes a fun game of figuring out, how do I step into this highest version of myself?

And the more you do, the more the right people will be coming to you. So when you are unshakeable, you feel worthy. Inherently, you just do. You are in that, I’ve got this energy all the time. And if this concept interests you,

I’m doing a free masterclass on my entire process of taking you from unshakeable human, to an unshakeable business.

I’m taking you through my entire process. It is a five day masterclass where I take you through becoming unshakeable, becoming that authority, becoming an authority to yourself, building a business and a brand by design. Then the strategic side of business. Because it is not all energetic. You still need a strategic process.

So we take you through strategic messaging. How to get leads by design. What is your way of both strategically and energetically putting yourself out there so the right people are being attracted to you? How to build an authority platform and an authority funnel so that you are constantly bringing in new people, nurturing them, making them into raving fans, and actually bringing them to a close.

How do you consistently make sales in your business, without feeling like you need to be on social media 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? So we’re doing this masterclass. It starts April 8th. If you are listening to this episode anytime before April 16th, when we take all of the replays down.

If you would like to be a part of it you can actually DM me the word masterclass on Instagram and we will register you right there in the DMs. I’m @NicoleLainoOfficial. Just send that to me. And if you just want to go to the website, you could go to nicolelaino.com/masterclass and you can register right there. So this is the process of becoming unshakeable. This is the process of building an unshakeable business by design. You being unshakeable is the foundation for you and your decisions for your business.

You are what everything stands on. And this goes beyond the healing work, all of that is incorporated, but what I think I do, and I’m going to show you in the masterclass, is most things are, here’s the energetic work you could do, here’s all the healing, here’s all of this, and then somebody else teaches you business, and then somebody else teaches you this, or there’s these little pieces that they have, but nobody really ties them together and shows you how the energetic work gets tied to the strategic work that you are doing. How it is an ongoing process for you all the time of re regulating yourself and bringing yourself back to who you are, what your message is, and a core strategic message that is built to sell.

How do we link all of these things together? That is exactly what I’m going to show you in this master class starting on April 8th. So please register @NicoleLainoOfficial, DM me the word masterclass. We will sign you up right there or go to nicolelaino.com/masterclass, and you can register right there on our website.

Thank you so much for being here. I hope you enjoyed this episode. I hope that it got you a little step closer, a little more curious about becoming unshakeable yourself. And remember, in order to have an unshakeable business, you must first become an unshakeable human. So thanks for letting us help you on your journey of becoming unshakeable with human design, everyone.

We will see you next time.

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Go to nicolelaino. me forward slash podcast links to join the group, book a human design reading with me, or access our free human design resources. We’ll see you there.