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Episode #117 Are You DESIGNED To Be Selfish?

Society teaches us that being selfless is the ultimate virtue, but what if that wasn’t true? What if you were designed to be selfish? Some of us have elements in our Human Design Chart that actually show us that we’re designed to embody self-love.

On this episode, Nicole covers:

  • How to know if you are designed to be selfish
  • Why avoiding this design is avoiding your true purpose here on Earth
  • What exactly being selfish is (it’s probably not what you think)
  • The Channel of Awakening 10-20 and how it affects your ability to be your authentic self
  • Why it is detrimental to you and everyone around you when you’re not comfortable being selfish
  • How to be selflessly selfish with your energy


Find out more about the brand new membership community for Human Design enthusiasts. A space I’ve carefully curated to give you EVERYTHING you need to accelerate your understanding of Human Design and take daily action to become the most authentic, unshakeable you. Find out more and sign up now at nicolelaino.com/lab.

We’d love to have you join the new Facebook Group, Human Design for Entrepreneurs so be sure to visit nicolelaino.com/podcastlinks to sign up and grab the free productivity and deconditioning guide while you are there.  

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Hello, and welcome to the limitless entrepreneur podcast everyone. I’m your host, Nicole Laino. And I am here with a solo episode for you today we’re going to be talking human design in today’s episode. So buckle up everyone, we’re going to dive deep into a topic here. And we’re going to explore a theme. So we’re going to do this a little bit differently than we’ve done in the past. And I think this is going to be fun.

So, I have a question for you. Do you ever find yourself wanting to spend more time on you? So but you ended up feeling guilty about it? So maybe you maybe you want to write a post? That, you know, that’s, that’s speaks your convictions that you have like a really strong opinion on, but you’re afraid? What if people judge me? What will people think? What if I hurt someone with what I have to say? It’s really provocative. Or maybe you feel like you want to make a big life change, but you’re holding off because of what other people either might think, who might be affected? Now, of course, it’s good to think about other people. But are you holding yourself back? Because of other people and putting yourself last?

Or maybe you’re focusing on strategies in your business, you know, like, funnels? Or what’s the latest reels trend or transition that I can make in a video. But, but everything is pulling you to do the inner work. But you’re not listening to that. And you’re letting your mind override you and say, no, no, no, no, I have to make money, I have to do these things. I have to I have to stay with the strategy, I have to stay with these things that will make me money.

So all of this ties back to kind of a a theme. And society teaches us like we’re raised in a place in a society where we’re taught that being selfless is kind of a virtue, that being selfless is something that we should strive for. And that and by by virtue of that, that being selfish is wrong. So the idea of doing things for ourselves, the idea of saying something that needs to be said that, you know, you know, everything be damned, I’m going to say what I have to say, because it might change people that the idea that we might be so selfish holds us back. Because we are afraid of being ostracized, we’re afraid of the what, what consequences might come of that. Right. So we live in a society that really values being selfless, which leads us to feel really guilty if we feel like we’re being selfish. But according to human design, some of us actually are designed to the selfish, it’s in the chart. Now, there’s a lot of things that point to this, and we’re going to focus on on one particular aspect today. But what I’m going to show you is that some people who are designed to be selfish, by being selfish, that’s how you change everyone around you. That’s how you create change. That’s how you create your ripple effect. That’s how you create change for yourself. And by not doing it, you’re actually not fulfilling your purpose here on Earth in this incarnation. So being being selfish for these people is actually empowering to others, that you being selfish, empowers other people.

So do you have this new chart? Now? Granted, we all have the whole chart, so don’t feel like I don’t have this. So I can’t have convictions. I can’t. That’s that’s not what we’re saying at all. Everybody has the entire chart, it’s just not going to be a theme that’s every single day all day for you. It’s not going to be consistent. It’s not going to be something that drives you all the time. But, you know, like we talked to in Monday’s episode about the transits and how stars and planets are always moving and activating us in different ways. You do have this energy, sometimes, depending on where the placements are in our cosmic weather you might have you might have one of these channels that we’re going to talk about activated right now, that’s not normally activated in your chart.

So it exists and we have access to it. It just some people, it’s going to be part of your life theme. It’s going to be part of potentially your overall purpose depending on the placements in your chart. So let’s talk a little bit about it and we’ll let’s figure out are you designed to be selfish. And then the other the next question for you to ask is am I am I in alignment with that am I leaning into it in a healthy and and high expression? sort of way? Or am I hiding from it? Am I afraid of being called selfish? Am I afraid of what people will say? Am I afraid that I will get backlash? Am I afraid that what I do won’t work. So you’re holding back. Ultimately, your purpose.

And this is the power of human design is that when we get to see these things in our chart, when we get to have it kind of laid out there and say, like, these are the themes that you’re supposed to be living out, day in and day out. And these are the things you’re supposed to experience in a different way. They’re not supposed to be the things that you put out, suddenly, we start attracting different things into our lives. Why? Because we’re living in alignment, we’re so many people are out there searching for their purpose, or looking for our purpose in life. The clues are in your human design chart. And the way you figure out how that gets expressed for you is to experiment with the energy in your chart, to play with it, and see what results you get. And start to see how these play out in your life. This is what makes human design so amazing, and so magical.

Okay, so let’s talk a little bit about it. So what in your chart could make you designed to be selfish, where others are empowered by your selfish actions. And now I want to define selfish here a little bit more selfish. What we’re talking about here is being unapologetically in the energy of the selfish channel, it’s going to be self absorbed, it’s going to be focused on you. And we’re going to I’m going to go through an example for us to make this really clear. So first of all, the ones that we’re gonna there’s a, there’s several things in the chart that point to being a little bit more self absorbed, and leaning into that energy of saying, like when I am this, because what we’re talking about when we talk about being being selfish, what we’re talking about is embodying something, I’m going to be this so strong, that I embody it, I don’t know it, I don’t just understand it, I am it. And that takes a lot of a lot of guts to go all the way there for what it takes to embodies an energy and to embody a concept and to embody what it is that that these channels represent.

So there’s many things in the chart that support this. But we’re going to talk today about integration channels. Now there are four of them in the chart, we’re going to focus on one today, because we only have time really to go through one. And I’ll do other episodes on this. If you liked this episode, please let me know. Because I can certainly dive into other things we can we can hit this from another angle, we can go deeper into it, if you all are enjoying this type of content and understanding it and going more into these channels. So send me a message on Instagram, send me a DM, send me a message on LinkedIn, let me know that you loved this and and what you would like to see more of.

So let’s talk a little bit about there’s four integration channels. And we’re going to talk about one we’re going to talk about the channel of awakening. Now integration channels are the ones that connect, they connect the throat, the G center, the sacral center, and the spleen. Those are the those are the channels that kind of move like they almost look like a like an E. Moving from the it’s it’s gate 20 The gates that are involved or gate 20, gate 10, gate 34 AND gate 57. Now those gates make up a bunch of different channels. So if you have any of these activated, or if you have that whole section lit up in your chart, you might be one of those people that has like nine channels activated in your chart, because by having those four gates, you can have so many channels activated.

So one of those channels that we’re gonna go into today is the channel of awakening and that is that is the channel that the 10 20. So gate 10 in the G center connects to the throat in gate 20. Now gate 10 Is this is this is the gate of self love. This is the gate of, of, of the self and the love of self. And then gate 20 is the gate of the now the gate of now speaking truth in the now because we always take the theme of the center. So gate 20 is in the throat. And because it’s in the throat that has something to do with manifestation speaking, communicating, expressing putting something out into the world. And then if it’s an NF, then then gate 10 Being in the G center. It’s about self love. It’s about identity. That’s the the G center is the the center of self love, identity, purpose and direction, and the love of all things, the love of the body, the love of the Spirit, the love of self. All of these are in the G center, and they’re all represented by different gates and the gate. 10 is the gate of the love of self.

So this channel of awakening is really all about authenticity. If you have this channel activated, it’s about being your authentic self. There’s commitment involved in loving yourself. Now think about the name of it is the channel of awakening, in order to be awake, in order to be awakened and awakened being. It takes two things. It takes self love. And it takes self trust. And that’s basically what we’re combining here. I love myself, I will say like that this is like the channel that I love the shit out of myself. And I’m not afraid to act on it. I love the shit out of myself. So that’s why I can do anything. Because gate 20 isn’t thinking about who you were yesterday, it isn’t thinking about the future. It’s not dwelling on the past. Gate 20 is about now. Gate 20 is about the present moment be here now. And when we’re present in it, it just comes and for this one for gate 10. Connecting the gate tenant, it’s it’s the that feeling of I love myself and I’m able to move with total trust. Because of that.

Now in the theme of being selfish, why this is a selfish channel, and why it is detrimental to you and everyone around you if you’re not feeling comfortable being selfish in this way, that when you love yourself, when you love yourself first I want to ask you a question. So think about this, this channel of awakening, we think of Buddha would we be better off as a people? If Buddha was thinking of others the entire time rather than going through his contemplations and his inner work. And working on his awakening, and speaking his truth. Or a any of the sages out there, there is this, there is this courage that comes from in this and the trust that comes from loving themselves and being so grounded in it.

So the channel 1020 begs the question of, are you daring to be authentic. Because it can feel egotistical to love yourself as much as the gate as the channel of awakening, kind of pushes you to and to speak that truth. But when you do when you are grounded in that conviction for yourself in that love of yourself. And you have the courage to be it out in the open. Other people change. Other people are empowered, by your authenticity, by your love of yourself. By your power and trust, you make other people powerful, and you help them trust that you can’t do that if you’re worried what everybody will think. If you are worried about being judged for maybe being what can feel like maybe boastful. Or maybe people will think that you are too much. You think too much of yourself, you love yourself too much. And that is hurting everybody, it’s hurting you and it’s hurting everyone around you. Because you then your vibration is all thrown off. Because you’re being inauthentic, you’re being in a low expression of something that is consistent for you if you have this all the time, if you have this channel.

Because that’s what we’re looking at all the time, we’re just looking at everything in your chart is either nothing is good or bad. Nothing is better or worse. And you can’t get rid of anything or get anything you have it all the things that are defined are just going to be the things you have all the time. And the things you have undefined you’re going to have them sometimes, but the things that you have all the time. Those are the things that are most important for you to not have in the low expression of them.

Because what does that mean? You’re consistently in low expression. And if you’re consistently in low expression, you are lowering your vibration, you are lowering your expression of who you are. You are not living in alignment with the highest version of yourself. So that’s what makes human design so powerful is that we can look at these piece by piece, we can break ourselves down, and also look at ourselves as a whole, see how it’s all synthesized. But we can take it and we can look at it and say, You know what I was put on this earth to have a really strong consistent sense of loving myself. It’s a theme for you. And if you’re not living in alignment with it, then you’re hurting yourself and everyone around you. And this is what we experiment with. What if you if you have this sense, if you have this channel to find? What if you focused on loving yourself? Right really hard. And being an embodying self love.

Now the chart is full of all sorts of things. So it can get a little distracting and a little overwhelming when you think of like, well, how do I start to implement and, and focus on all of this? Where do I put my energy? Now, that’s something that our reading can be really helpful for. Or certainly, if you jump into like my limitless entrepreneur program and the containers that I do my masterminds all focus on this, where we’re looking at your chart, and how you live in what’s what are the priorities for you to start turning that dial up on specific energies in your chart. But if you have this one, take a look at it and play with this one, if you have this channel defined, play with it. If not, pick a channel, pick any channel. And you can start playing with the what the low and the high frequency of it is, what’s the low and the high expression. So you could look it up online, you could look it up in books, you can try to gather some information that way, and just get a better feel for what does it sound like this is supposed to be? Because that’s what the books will typically tell you. Here’s what it looks like when this is functioning in a high frequency and a high expression. And strive for that. Notice where you’re falling short of it. Not in a way where you’re beating yourself up and not in a way where you’re, you’re allowing that to become criticism of you know, just notice it, observe it, see it there and say hmm, I see that maybe I kind of I have a tendency to go to the shadow side of this to the low expression. How can I give myself some grace here? How can I take my hands off the wheel and not not pull so hard, but allow myself into this higher expression? What are some? What are the contemplations that I could take to deepen my embodiment of the higher frequency of this? And for this one, you can just start with what would it look like for me to love myself a little bit more? What would embodying fully embodying self love look like? And what would it look like? To put that out in the world? And, and allow people to see it? How would it feel to change people and allow them to trust themselves more.

So food for thought, those are some contemplations where you if you have the channel of awakening channel 1020, that is part of the that is one of the integration channels. In the human design body graph. If you if you have this, if you’re I would love to know what your contemplations are, please send them over to me on Instagram, take a little snapshot on your phone, put it in your stories, I’m @NicoleLainoofficial over there, tag me and let me know what you loved about this or what what your contemplations turned up. And if you would like to, we have if you haven’t run your human design chart or you want to get one of our free advanced human design charts, you can run over to our website at Nicolelaino.me/chart, you can get your chart over there we also send you if you sign up for if you opt in for the email list. You also get a free video where we go into some details and kind of my contemplations and spin on your specific type. So if you come out of manifesting generator you will get the manifesting generator piece of that. So definitely go and check that out. And if you’d like to book a reading with me go over to Nicolelaino.me and you can grab a well we will link all this up in the show notes for you don’t have to remember all this stuff, but you could go over to my website, it’s on the work with me page, you can go and find the human side reading part. It’s like my favorite thing to do. So come on and jump in with us. And let’s dive into your chart and fast track this for you.

So I hope that you enjoyed this episode. I hope that you enjoyed our deep dive into being selfish, being selflessly selfish with your energy that it’s actually for the greatest good of everybody around you. You Few are in these specific ways. All right. So I hope you enjoyed this please let me know. Remember, you are limited only by the limitations that you accept. And when you stop accepting those limitations, that is when you become limitless. So go out there and be limitless everyone. I will see you in the next episode.

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This is what human design can teach you. 

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