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Episode #123 Navigating the Holidays & Family through Human Design

Regardless of whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or one of the many other holidays that happen around this time of year, while the holidays can be extremely exciting, they can also be quite stressful. Understanding our Human Design can teach us how we can be affected by others’ emotions and our environment, and help us develop strategies to help combat the stress of the holidays.

Nicole discusses:

  • How our conditioned centers can affect us during the holidays and with our families
  • How having an open emotional center can create weird energy dynamics in our family gatherings
  • How to protect yourself from others’ projection as an emotional authority
  • How your triggers and working on them with emotional clearing work is key to making the holidays less stressful
  • How having an open G center can affect us during the holidays
  • What problems an open ego center can bring up during the holidays and how to combat them


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Hello, and welcome to the limitless entrepreneur podcast everyone. I’m your host, Nicole Laino. And we’re here together where I’m, I’m excited as ever, as I always am to be here with you. And to talk about today’s topic, where it’s just you and me today we’re going to be talking about, you know, we have the holidays coming up, we’re recording this, this is December, and the holidays are coming up. And I don’t know about you, but you know, do you ever feel stressed out by the holidays and a big part of the stress of the holidays, a lot of times can be about the interactions that we have with family, there’s kind of there’s a heightened stress level, I think we all feel the energy kind of shift around this time of year, there’s a lot of joy, but there’s also a lot of stress. And there’s also people that deal with loss and things and you know, feeling the void of people who are ones here who are not. And, and it’s it’s important to understand, I want to talk today about how human design can help you navigate some of the energy dynamics of the holidays.

So we we live in Texas, I live in Austin, Texas, me and my family. My sister in law recently moved down here about a year ago, and about two years ago now. And she’s all the family we have here. So we don’t have any family traveling to us. And we won’t be traveling for this holiday season. So I don’t have as much of this. As I do. Sometimes when we fly home and you’re dealing with more people, you’re dealing with more people and more people’s energy. And what human design can help us do is it can help us understand you’re not going to have a human design chart for every person in your family. If you have like a big extended family, so we don’t have the benefit of necessarily knowing what other people’s charts are, you might know some. And I do encourage you to please run your family’s charts, certainly the people who live with you. Because there’s always an unspoken conversation happening. There’s an energetic exchange happening whenever you’re in the aura of other people, and they’re in your aura, they pick up on your energy, you pick up on theirs.

This is why the holidays can feel really weird. This is why when you walk into a mall at the holidays, and everybody is stressed out, you might feel really overwhelmed just by all the feelings and all of the energy that’s in there. And a lot of people being misaligned, and you just kind of out of adjustment and in kind of funky energy, you pick up on that. And because people have their own energy dynamics and their own stresses going on. So what human design, what we’re going to walk you through today is just some of the things that you can know from your chart. And understanding how you might be influenced have greater probability of being influenced by other people energetically. And this is really what we’re talking about. This is how conditioning happens. Where someone else’s energy can kind of dominate ours in certain circumstances, or it can make us feel a certain way, knock us off our game. And, and when we feel it, we think it’s ours, we think there’s something wrong with us.

So what we want what I want to walk you through our I have like I have like kind of three and a half, it’s sort of four tips for things in your human design chart that you can look out for and just some tips for you to sort of manage the holidays in an energetic fashion, and doing that through your human design.

So let’s get started, I’m going to start with the big one, I’m going to start with the most, it can be a little bit obvious, but it’s also we’re going to talk about it in a different way. The first area where it’s best to be aware of this of this energy dynamic is and the thing that you can do sorry, is with your emotional center. So if you’re looking at your chart, I want you to take a look and see if your solar plexus is or is not defined. If it is defined, know that you have an emotional wave. And if you haven’t listened to the emotional authority episodes that I’ve done on the show, please go back there two episodes. I don’t know the numbers of them, but you can find them if you search emotional authority and our on our website. Go to Nicole laino.me and you can search those. But if your solar plexus is defined, you’re an emotional authority and if you are an emotional authority, then you have an emotional wave, which means that regardless of what’s happening around you, you are emotional. You’re at some you’re in some emotional state, whether it be a low state, a high state or somewhere in between. You are all you always have emotions happening.

And one thing that’s really important to understand is that not everybody has that there are going to be people at your at your holiday table. that don’t have their emotional center defined. And the way that that’s working is they are feeling yours. So when you walk into their aura, if you’re in a funky place emotionally, then they’re going to feel that. And that can cause a weird energy dynamic, that can cause them to feel really uncomfortable, because that’s what they experience, it’s very uncomfortable for people who don’t know that that’s happening.

So for you as the emotional authority for you as the Define solar plexus, so if you’re looking at your body graph, that is, if you’re going from the bottom up, there’s a square at the bottom, that’s the root center, if you go up from that there’s another square above that, that is the sacral, right in the center. Now, if you go to the right of that, looking at the body graph, there is a triangle kind of turned on its side. And that is the solar plexus, if it’s colored in your emotional authority, you have the wave, people are going to feel your emotions. And if they and if you have people who are and if you are white, in that center, if you’re white in that center, then you’re going to be the one affected by people’s emotions. So I really want to speak to you right now, if you’re undefined in the emotional center, and you’re going to the holiday table, you’re going to the holiday family party, know that other people’s emotions are going to affect you. And they’re not only going to affect you, you’re going to amplify them.

So that is why emotional, that is why family situations and big group events can sometimes feel like a lot for people who have the emotional center open. So it’s important for you to know that it’s not you that there’s nothing wrong, and that the people who are there who are making you feel that way. So if your uncle walks into your aura, and you suddenly feel a lot of emotions happening, it doesn’t necessarily mean there’s something wrong with him. He, it’s internal to him, and he might not even be aware of it, he might just feel kind of weird, or down or funky that day. But there’s no circumstance that caused it. He’s not mad at you. He’s not mad at anybody there. And it’s not his fault. So this can be a big source of friction in relationships, is we can feel like what’s wrong? Are you sure you’re okay? You started asking people who are emotional, if they’re okay, they say they are and you don’t believe them. And that can cause fights that can cause irritation that can cause them to suddenly now have a circumstantial emotion of feeling attacked. And you’re feeling like I’m just picking up on something. So pick up on it, but don’t hold it. And maybe if it’s really uncomfortable for you, just make sure that you’re moving around and you’re going into other people’s or as pretty regularly, you’re kind of making the rounds, if anything feels uncomfortable for you then move, take some time by yourself outside, you don’t have to make a thing out of it, you’re just doing something to to, to nurture yourself. And that’s a healthy thing for you to do.

So if you’ve got that emotional center, knowing if you are defined or undefined in your emotional solar plexus, that is a really key element of understanding energy dynamics, and just how they’re going to work with you how other people are going to affect you or how you’re going to affect other people. So if you’re in kind of a funky part of your emotional wave, and you’re going to the holiday party, then maybe you do take a little bit of time to yourself, maybe you make sure that before you go to that party, you really nurture that part of your wave. And you do something really good for yourself, and you relax, and you don’t wind yourself up more and get into a state where you’re upset. And you resent the party because you don’t feel like going, can you do something good for yourself and speak to your partner, whoever it is that you’re going with? You know, I just need a little bit of time for me right now, before we go. And I’d love for you to support me in that by you packing up the car or you taking care of the kids for an hour. Are you doing this? Are you doing that? Just so you’re you’re informing them, you are letting them know that you need help, you’re asking for help. And you’re standing up for yourself.

And that alone is going to it’s going to come down that wave a bit for you. It’s going to it’s going to help you because sometimes it doesn’t the wave doesn’t need as much nurturing as we think it does. We just have in our heads that we don’t have time to take time for ourselves. So we don’t take the time. And we’re fighting that wave and we’re like, I’m just gonna power through it. And that causes stress and that causes resentment. And that causes you to feel like my needs don’t matter. So if you’re emotionally defined, then you’re taking time for yourself and you’re making sure you’ve been really good to yourself that day seeing what kind of emotional state you’re in you checking in with yourself, where am I on my wave. And let me make sure that I’m bringing the best I can of me to this to this event. And I’m not pushing my emotions on other people out of obligation, I’m obligated to go to this party. So I’m going to show up, but I don’t want to be there. And I’m going to just bring this emotion with me, right? Because I got news for you, you’re gonna get it back people are going to be either your, they’re going to amplify that funkiness and throw it back at you. Or you’re just going to feel that from them. And it’s just going to be uncomfortable.

So and then if you’re open emotionally, if you have an open emotional, solar plexus or undefined, if it’s white on your chart, then you’re making sure that you are paying attention to how other people make you feel. And you’re not allowing it to knock you off your game. You’re just saying I need to take time for myself, and you’re recognizing it, you let it pass through, you let it pass through you. Now, this will be harder for either side, if you haven’t worked through your triggers. So we’re a little close to the deadline here. But it’s something that you should definitely consider because the emotional center is the second most conditioned center in the body graph, it’s it’s definitely it’s one of the hot button ones, I personally consider it very like I consider it the most important one because it holds so much. But you do want to look into dealing with your triggers, because this is where they live. And this will cause emotional friction between you life in general, like the universe, you’re going to have trouble with manifesting and with being productive. And with being your best self if you haven’t dealt with your triggers. But you’re also going to deal with with issues with other people. And this is one of the ways that that plays out.

So if you’re doing some sort of emotional clearing work, I highly recommend starting that getting on that because it will change the relationships that you have with people. With that, that is the work that I do inside the limitless entrepreneur program that I run my group program, that’s my my deconditioning program label called limitless, you. We go through all of that. But if you haven’t had time to do that, I highly recommend doing that in the new year. And I guarantee you I promise you that will change your life like nothing will change your life like that. It’s It is a life changing process.

The second thing in your human design chart that I want you to look at and see if if you have this, I want you to take this to heart and put this in your mind. And you know in the back of your mind when you go to your holiday parties, and you’re interacting with just if you’re interacting with people in general. But if you have an open G center, so that’s the diamond shaped center in the center of the body graph. Now this is the home of the magnetic monopole. This is the center of self love, love, abundance, love of the body love of spirit, there’s just this this beautiful a purpose life purpose lives in the magnetic monopole lives in the G Center. This is the magnet that pulls us toward our destiny.

Now, when you have this center open, you’re very susceptible to environment, you’re really susceptible to feeling whether a place and the people in it are correct or not for you. And that can cause you to feel like it’s you. You go to a party you go to you go to an event, you get there and you don’t feel right. And immediately that starts your mind going, what’s wrong with me, why do I feel this way? What’s going on? I don’t know, I just don’t, I don’t feel good here. That can hit you very, very hard. So the conditioning is to think that it’s you. But the human design magic that it can give you and the permission slip is to know that it isn’t you. It’s other people that you’re picking up on something they’re, you’re sensitive to it. You’re you are in tune with the energetic vibe of everyone not necessarily in the emotional way, but in a way of are they aligned? Are they in tune with loving themselves with loving their bodies with loving their spirit with? Are these people on their correct path? And do they feel grounded in who they are?

And that, you know, depending on where you are, sometimes you’re going to go places and you’re going to slip in and it’s going to feel like you’re home anywhere you go when you have the center open when you’re around the right people. And if you go and you feel like I don’t know why I can’t make myself at home here. I can’t feel comfortable here. Then just know that that doesn’t really have to do with you, that most likely has to do with the people that you’re around. So again, making the rounds, not spending too much time with any one person or when you do find one person, that and a space where you feel good, stay there and spend time there. But also just even going outside touching a tree. And having a moment in just whatever nature is available to you and in your own energy, and in the energy of the earth is healthy for you. And that will reset you and help you don’t feel like if if when you go into a situation, and people start telling you or asking you questions about who you are, where you’re going, what you’re doing, don’t allow that to influence you really be grounded in the fact that this is a moment, if this doesn’t feel right, and these people aren’t supporting me, it doesn’t mean anything about me. And that’s just my cue to take some time for myself. So just just recognize that that may come up.

Again, for you, it’s going to be important at any openness that you haven’t if you’re very open in the chart, if you have more white than colored in, then you’re going to be susceptible to other people’s energy, there’s just certain centers where that throws you off more, and we’re going to talk about, we’re talking about the three that have the greatest impact there. So as far as energy dynamics between people, so the Chi center is your going to pick up on on whether people are okay with being who they are. And that can sometimes translate into you feeling like they’re not okay with who I am. And it can make you feel a little disoriented. So just know that that’s not you. And that you just need to make a quiet exit and take some time for yourself. And just allow yourself and permit yourself to do that. Permit yourself to take the time that you need away.

Now the last one that I want to talk about this is this is the big one, this is the most condition center, or the most probable condition center in the body graph. And the reason for that is, is that first of all, and if you have it open, that’s okay, 70% of the world actually has the center open, and it is the most condition center in the body graph. So there’s a lot of people walking around with stuff that’s not theirs. That’s really what conditioning is, it’s not true to who you are. And when we go into these energetic, dynamic situations where we’re at events, we’re at family parties, where we’re interacting with other people, there’s always the possibility, when we don’t know what’s going on, that we’re feeling their stuff. And we’re confusing it and thinking it’s ours. And we’re thinking we should be that thing that they are, rather than being true to who we are, which is open in that space. And to just feel what they’re putting off and go Oh, that’s interesting, they got a lot going on there, and then letting it go.

So that what I’m talking about here, this center that I’m talking about that is the most that is the most conditioned center in the body graph and has the most probable the most probability of being conditioned, is the ego center. The ego is also called the will center, the heart center, it’s the little triangle between the G Center and the solar plexus over on the right hand side kind of hanging out all by itself, between the solar plexus, the sacral, and the G center, there’s this little ego center there. And the ego center is the center of Dr. Will determination, commitment. It’s the center of resources the to provide for the tribe. So there’s a lot of themes that go along with this center.

And what I really want to talk to you about here in the context of this episode, and the ego center is that when you have the open ego, and now if you have any of these defined as well, you can certainly have it in an unhealthy expression, you’re just not going to have it’s going to be more you bringing conditioning to it, as opposed to other people putting their stuff on you. When you’re open, you’re more susceptible to it’s like the windows and doors are open so people can come in very easily. And when your center is defined, it’s like the windows and doors are shut. So you have to actually let them in. Or there might be fewer ways for them to get in there. It’s not just this free for all where they’re like, Oh, I’m just going to park my car in your garage because the door was open and there’s no car parked in here.

So the the open ego. What this is really about what I want to talk about here is commitment. The ego center is very much about commitment. And there can be a lot of guilt with this. You should be this way. You should keep your commitments you should be Integrity is really what this center, the big theme of the center is. And how this can play out at the holidays is that you have to go a lot of places, and you have to do a lot of things. And you have to keep your commitments. And maybe people are making you feel a little bit of shame and a little bit of guilt for what you haven’t done for how you haven’t come through for them, or for how you haven’t committed, or how you’re letting them down in some way where you are not enough, which is a big, not self theme of the ego Center. I’m not enough, I’m not good enough. I’m not doing enough. I’m not, I’m not consistent enough. That’s really what the ego says. And in this context, family can be like you haven’t been consistently there for us, you’ve led us down, you’re not participating enough, why aren’t you giving as many gifts or you’re not going to come to both holiday dinners, you’re only coming to one, you have to do what feels right for you. And you have to stand in your power there. And don’t take personally those, those projections that that those expectations that people are putting on you. And filling up that open ego, it can feel very overwhelming, and it can make people feel really small.

And the whole purpose of this episode is to show you to clue you into some of these themes that may or may not be present for you based on your chart, and allow you to walk in with a little bit of empowerment, because it does peel back the curtain a little bit, just having awareness about it, you can say like, that’s just my open ego taking this in. And I don’t have to take it in. I can observe it, I can see it there. But I don’t have to hold it. And that’s the game. And that’s what human design, that’s the power of human design. And what it allows you to do is that you don’t have to it tells you you don’t have to hold other people’s stuff. And it tells you what areas, other people’s stuff might have the greatest probability of entering your world and confusing you and throwing you off your game, because it’s telling you who you should be versus who you really are. And it’s confusing you that way.

So just know that that these are, these are themes that may or may not be present for you, you can look at your chart, you can see do I have any of these open? Do I have any of these things present in my chart. And then I’m aware if I go into a holiday experience, and I’m experiencing any of this, someone is putting that stuff on me, I don’t have to take it. It’s not mine. And I shouldn’t walk away from that party from that event, questioning myself in any way. This this knowledge, if you take it to heart and you walk into these, to these events to these experiences with this in mind, it can allow you to shake it off a whole lot faster, and have a better time when you’re there and actually enjoy the people that you’re with. Because one of the biggest problems that we have with family dynamics is we take everything so personally. And they cut deep. And they trigger us because there are wounds triggers only exist because there are wounds that we haven’t dealt with. There are wounds there that we have said, You’re inconvenient for me to look at. So I’m just going to tuck you away and pretend you don’t exist.

But then we show up to a family experience, we show up to a family event. And then they’re they’re saying all the things that trigger that thing that we’ve hidden. And now suddenly we’re experiencing it again. And it’s very uncomfortable. So to be able to know that going in, take note of what the triggers are. Are there specific things triggers are gifts, I say this to my people all the time, like triggers are gifts, if you start looking at the world, that anytime you’re triggered, it’s the universe showing you a place that needs to be healed, then it’s it’s like get your notebook out for a family party. If something’s triggering you if something is making you feel judgmental, if something of somebody else, or if somebody is making you feel like you are being judged, and it hurts, and you’re not able to just shove it off, write it down. Because that is something you should explore. And that’s a way that you can fast track your healing. And when you fast track your healing and you heal these wounds, then you are able to operate as your highest self. That’s the game.

So I hope this helped. I hope that you take this that this helps make your holiday parties enjoyable. You’re able to enjoy your family just be there with them not take things so personally, not put yourself on them be a little bit more compassionate to other people and look at them and say like they might just have this aspect of their chart. And I have compassion for them that maybe they They’re in a low frequency of it. And they haven’t found their way out of it yet. I hope they do. Human Design allowed me to be very compassionate, a lot more compassionate about really everyone. And, you know, I hope it does that for you. And certainly at this holiday time, because it is such a gift to be around family, it is such a gift to have these people around you who do love you, who sometimes maybe have good or not great ways of expressing it. And old stuff can get kicked up. But these are the people that our soul came in to experience this life with. So let’s it’s a gift to be able to be grateful for them and to spend time with them. And to see what they’re here to teach us. Because they are they wouldn’t have been put into your experience. If they weren’t. They’re here to help shape you into who you were designed to be. So they’re just lessons that you may need to learn. That was something that was a big lesson for me.

So I wish you a happy holiday. There will be more episodes so don’t think we’re taking off for the holidays. But I’m going to wish you a happy holiday since this is our holiday episode. And I will just say what I always say you are only limited by the limitations that you accept. And when you stop accepting those limitations. That is when you become limitless. So go out there be limitless everyone. I will see you in our next episode and happy holidays.

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