Hello and welcome to the Unshakable with Human Design Podcast. I’m your host, Nicole Laino, and we are here with a little solo episode today where I want to talk about something that has been coming up in a lot of my coaching calls, a lot of the clients that I work with, and people that I work with. And just in my world in general, and I really love to bring you these topics on the show because they’re what’s happening for me from a human design perspective.

It’s what I’m in response to. It is what I feel really motivated to put my energy into, and that’s where these episodes come from. The best ones definitely do come from that. And I want you to understand what response is. So response, just a little human design lesson for you right here at the stop at the top of the show is, I’m a manifesting generator.

I’m here to respond when my sacral is lit up and by lit up. I’m just like gaining momentum all the time when I’m talking about this topic. It’s something I’ve talked about for a long time, but it’s coming into my world. It is. I’m responding to it consistently recently, and now I’m like this is an episode.

I want to talk about this. This will be easy for me to talk about and I’ll be in energy that you’ll feel. You’ll be in. You are going to feel that I really know what I’m talking about this topic and that I’m pretty jazzed about it. So we’re going to talk today about. The women’s sacred wound is how I’m looking at this.

It’s one belief, it’s one sort of pervasive thing that I see with so many women that is it’s causing damage and not necessarily, from the way that we think it will. I want to talk about how all women are dealing with this on some level. Because this goes deeper than socioeconomic levels.

This goes deeper than all of that. It’s women’s history. It’s what’s in our dna. And all women have dealt with this fact that we have been pulled in two directions now in our history. There was a time where we didn’t have a choice. It was the way it was. Now we’re in this beautiful time where we have freedom to choose things that we didn’t always get to choose.

We get to have these full lives, we get to have it all, so to speak. Then there’s a lot of pressure to have it all and to do it all and to be it all, wow. Was it simpler when we were just wives and moms? Probably unfulfilling, potentially. We want more. We have these ambitions. We have these potentials that we feel inside of ourselves that goes beyond just the home, but then we have the home too.

So there is this biological need. There’s this pull of our history pulling us one way. The things that we, the traditional gender roles that were always there that made us feel like there was a certain place for us. Now consciously, obviously we’re not feeling connected to that so much anymore. Most of us don’t look at that and be like, oh, I’m not supposed to be a working mom.

I’m not supposed to be, but mom, guilt is real. It’s totally real, but I don’t – it doesn’t keep me up at night. I feel like I have a good balance and all of that, but On the inside of what I’m supposed to be, what I’m supposed to achieve, and all the things that I’m supposed to do. I have, if I’m being honest.

Of course, I notice these times where I feel, and what I’ll talk about is this one specific belief comes up. It comes up in all different ways. So we’re going to, we’re going to dive into that. In just a moment. I do want to remind everybody that we do have an exciting offer coming up in June.

We will be doing a little launch of a very exciting new offer that I am. Just so over the moon about it, I cannot wait to bring this to you. You can get on the waitlist. We have special pricing,special bonuses, all sorts of stuff. You’d be the first to know about everything if you join our wait list.

If you don’t join the waitlist, you will just get regular pricing like everybody else. But the wait list will get special pricing. So please join the waitlist. You can do that at NicoleLaino.me/waitlist. Or you can go to NicoleLaino.me/podcastlinks, which is where we have all of our links if you want, our free guides and all of that.

And the waitlist link is there as well. So hop on over to either one of those and we will get you on the list so you can be eligible for all of that stuff. Okay, so let’s dive into this episode. We’re talking about this feeling in women, this polarization internally in us of, I’ve got to be all of these things.

I’ve got to be this, and then something telling us, no. And, most of us are living in a world where we’re, bucking those traditional gender roles. I don’t live in a house where my husband thinks that I should do all the cooking and the cleaning. And I don’t have that.

And not that there’s, I’m not criticizing anyone’s lifestyle, but I’m not, look, I’m not living in that myself. So I don’t feel that. I feel like we have a pretty balanced life as far as he does just as much parenting as I do. We do, we have our different housework that we share. We both work, we’re both dedicated to our work.

There’s a lot of things that I just don’t feel like we fall into that, like typical male female relationships, but there are male – female roles that we’re playing. But those gender rules, because they’re still there, they’re in our DNA. And I think especially, and the women that I’m seeing this with definitely fall in this category are women who are from like the Gen X to the millennial cuspers.

So women in their forties and beyond maybe late thirties, but pretty much like 40 and older, I would say is like the hot bed here because we’re a real bridge into that. Women are really stepping into the workplace. Most of the moms when I was growing up. Most of the bombs did not work, or if they worked part-time.

They had a simple job. They didn’t have a full-time job where they left their full-time job when they had kids, and they did not go back even when we were in high school. So, we didn’t grow up with that. So we’re that first generation of Nope, mom works all the time. And that’s okay.

Go to college, have a career. Like the real career push, I think it came generationally. I’m not saying that women didn’t exist then that had, that, it just was not the norm in most middle class families. So it wasn’t what we grew up with. It wasn’t what we grew up with. It wasn’t our tradition that we grew up with, plus our DNA, of course, what we are taking from just the past generations before us.

So what I have noticed lately is it all stems from this underlying belief, and this is a belief I’ve worked with for a long time, but there’s this underlying belief that it causes underperformance, it causes feelings of being stuck. And now from a human design perspective, what? Feeling stuck and feeling like you’re, you can’t perform.

Usually people are telling me I can’t feel my sacral, I’m not getting invitations. I’m not feeling motivated to do anything. I don’t know. I don’t feel sure of anything. I don’t feel like my strategy and authority is working when they’re saying that this underlying belief really comes up, and it can come up in so many ways.

But I’m going to talk about one specific way or one kind of frame that it comes up in. The belief that we’re dealing with that’s causing this underperformance that’s causing this feeling of being stuck is, I am unsupported. It’s not okay to be all the things I am or all the things I want to be. Now, obviously, consciously, we know that it’s okay to be all the things that I am.

It’s okay to be all that I want to be, I want that. But internally, something is holding us back. This is an unconscious belief. This is what it means to have the unconscious dictating the world around you. And affecting everything that you do and everything that you experience. Why? Because when the unconscious when a situation is not made conscious, it appears outside as fate.

Now we can think about that from the law of attraction perspective of what you’re attracting. But let’s take a look at this from thinking that we are creating it through the way we react through the actions we take. In alignment with this belief. So the belief is I’m unsupported, right?

And I work with this so often. I have been working with this belief for years. I have been tackling it from all different perspectives. It’s a huge focus in my programs, and it’s a huge part of the deconditioning process that I have found because it does muffle all the internal, beautiful, intuitive signals that you’re getting.

From everything else inside of you, it does muffle it because there is this deep feeling that I’m alone. because when we feel unsupported, we feel alone. It makes us feel like we have to do everything ourselves. And we see roadblocks everywhere. We see all these reasons why something can’t work. I can’t do that because that’ll mean it’ll take me away from this.

I can’t do that because I don’t have the time because I have to do all of these other things. So now we’re operating in, I have to do, and it’s not what we want. It’s, I have to do, I have all these obligations, I have all of these things I can’t, I have to do, which then turns into, so I can’t do the thing that I want and now we’re in this, I have to, I can’t do mode.

When you’re operating there, you are not following strategy and authority. You’re either not hearing it or you’re ignoring it, so you’re not following your intuition. You’re reading about human design. You’re diving into all of this, but you’re not actually moving. You’re not actually able to use it because you are so conditioned with all of this other stuff.

You’re in the, you’re using the outside world as your authority, not yourself. You’re not able to even hear it. That pushes us into our not self theme. And the not sell themes are frustration, anger, bitterness, disappointment. It pushes us into those. So now you’re frustrated all the time, or you’re bitter all the time.

You’re just saying nobody lets me do anything. I can’t do anything because everybody over here needs me. I can’t do anything because I just feel stuck. That’s your not self theme playing out in your world. And that’s why you’re stuck and that’s why you’re getting the results that you are getting and the ones that you do not want.

So the thing with all of this is that none of it is real. It’s the way that you are viewing everything through this lens of being unsupported. Can you really not do that thing? Do you really not have the resources? Do you really have to do all of that other stuff? Or is it a story you’re telling yourself?

Is it a lens of unsupported that you’re looking at everything through that’s causing you to stay stuck? It’s becoming an excuse for you not moving. So this is where strategy and authority is wonderful, but it is, it’s difficult to use. It’s difficult to understand because you have all of this unconscious stuff pulling you, and there’s other things that we can show you in the chart of how you’re pulled in these directions.

But this is one where this is a belief and really what’s happening is with Unsupported is it makes us feel powerless. And the truth is, you are so darn powerful. You’re more powerful than you think you are. All those things you have to do, actually, all you have to do is ask. A lot of times all you have to do is stand in your power.

True power, not angry, power, not I’m fed up, but actual stillness of saying, I deserve this. Saying that with your energy, not even your words, and just saying, this is what I need. When you do that, when you can do that, you are met with support, but you have to ask for it. You have to step up either by letting, these are where boundaries come in.

This is where just asking for help comes in. And that’s one of the [00:13:20] most difficult things for I think a lot of people to do, but definitely for women. We think we have to be superwomen, but it starts with observing this feeling of being unsupported. Because once we can observe it and we see it there, now we’ve turned the light on, and now the shadow is suddenly not as dark.

And once we can observe it and we turn that light on, then we can change it. This is the first big power flex is being able to look at it, see that it’s there. And then take away its power. So I had a client talking about something where she really felt like she hit a brick wall. She genuinely felt like she could not take an action That felt really in alignment for her, and she was following strategy and authority.

She followed her human design. This is aligned for her. And we kept checking in with that. I was like, does this feel like a sacral? Yes. Does this feel, and I asked a lot of the questions that I do, getting her to feel into it, getting her to see, gauge her excitement, getting her to really understand where this want was coming from, where this desire was coming from.

So we know if it’s worth going after and what’s really going on here. And as we pulled apart all of the things that kept coming down to. Her not feeling like she could, like she had power in her family. Beyond just the basic day to day power over the money power to say that I need this power to say, trust me, really feeling in control like an equal partner.

What I pointed out was, and I did speak with her before this and got permission, and I’m not going to give any names or any details, but just so you know, I don’t talk about clients without discussing it with them first. But we pulled back because, and I came at this from my own experience with this, of recognizing how I felt so unsupported in my family.

And that was not because I was actually unsupported. It came from the fact that I felt that so deeply that I didn’t even feel empowered to ask for support. I didn’t feel empowered or worthy of the things that I was asking for the help that I needed to stand up for what I wanted. And part of that had to do with me feeling like I didn’t deserve what I was asking for.

So much of this was unconscious, but it was this feeling of, I, I’m not. What if he says no?

The thing is that they most often will not most of the time when people are dealing with this, and the client that I was dealing with this with got tremendous support. I got tremendous support. So many people do, and it’s about the way that you approach it. When you come as a worthy partner and you sit down and you have that conversation, you’re met with the energy of, and the language of course, whatever you need.

And that is so much more powerful than anything really because you’re looking, your belief in the face and you’re finding out that it was not true. And so much gets lifted when we do that. So much of that resistance, that fear, it can make everything feel so much more possible. And I will say from my perspective, sharing my experience that allowed me to go all in on an investment that I made.

And all in energetically on an investment that I made. All in. I was able to access a new gear in my business because of this, and I haven’t looked back since. Neither of us have, but the key with this also is that you have to come with the powerful energy, and that has to come from dealing with the feeling of unsupported, actually processing the emotion behind it and not just thinking through it or journaling about it. I use EFT. That’s what I use for deconditioning. I have not found anything more effective and fast than EF t. And you’ve got to go into that feeling. You’ve got to go into the truth and honesty of unsupported and supported. And when you do, then you’re finally free of it.

And that’s a beautiful thing. So I’ll leave it here. Thank you so much for being here. Remember to join the wait list if you want to be the first to hear about the new offer that we have for you in June. And if you want to be eligible for the special pricing, then please join us over at NicoleLaino.me/waitlist.

Sign up for that and we will send you the codes so that you can get special pricing for that offer when it is unveiled. And until next time, everybody remember, in order to have an unshakeable business, you must first become an unshakeable human. So join us next time so that we can help you on your journey of becoming unshakeable with human design.

We’ll see you in the next one.

Hello and welcome to the Unshakable with Human Design Podcast. I’m your host, Nicole Laino, and we are here with a little solo episode today where I want to talk about something that has been coming up in a lot of my coaching calls, a lot of the clients that I work with, and people that I work with. And just in my world in general, and I really love to bring you these topics on the show because they’re what’s happening for me from a human design perspective.

It’s what I’m in response to. It is what I feel really motivated to put my energy into, and that’s where these episodes come from. The best ones definitely do come from that. And I want you to understand what response is. So response, just a little human design lesson for you right here at the stop at the top of the show is, I’m a manifesting generator.

I’m here to respond when my sacral is lit up and by lit up. I’m just like gaining momentum all the time when I’m talking about this topic. It’s something I’ve talked about for a long time, but it’s coming into my world. It is. I’m responding to it consistently recently, and now I’m like this is an episode.

I want to talk about this. This will be easy for me to talk about and I’ll be in energy that you’ll feel. You’ll be in. You are going to feel that I really know what I’m talking about this topic and that I’m pretty jazzed about it. So we’re going to talk today about. The women’s sacred wound is how I’m looking at this.

It’s one belief, it’s one sort of pervasive thing that I see with so many women that is it’s causing damage and not necessarily, from the way that we think it will. I want to talk about how all women are dealing with this on some level. Because this goes deeper than socioeconomic levels.

This goes deeper than all of that. It’s women’s history. It’s what’s in our dna. And all women have dealt with this fact that we have been pulled in two directions now in our history. There was a time where we didn’t have a choice. It was the way it was. Now we’re in this beautiful time where we have freedom to choose things that we didn’t always get to choose.

We get to have these full lives, we get to have it all, so to speak. Then there’s a lot of pressure to have it all and to do it all and to be it all, wow. Was it simpler when we were just wives and moms? Probably unfulfilling, potentially. We want more. We have these ambitions. We have these potentials that we feel inside of ourselves that goes beyond just the home, but then we have the home too.

So there is this biological need. There’s this pull of our history pulling us one way. The things that we, the traditional gender roles that were always there that made us feel like there was a certain place for us. Now consciously, obviously we’re not feeling connected to that so much anymore. Most of us don’t look at that and be like, oh, I’m not supposed to be a working mom.

I’m not supposed to be, but mom, guilt is real. It’s totally real, but I don’t – it doesn’t keep me up at night. I feel like I have a good balance and all of that, but On the inside of what I’m supposed to be, what I’m supposed to achieve, and all the things that I’m supposed to do. I have, if I’m being honest.

Of course, I notice these times where I feel, and what I’ll talk about is this one specific belief comes up. It comes up in all different ways. So we’re going to, we’re going to dive into that. In just a moment. I do want to remind everybody that we do have an exciting offer coming up in June.

We will be doing a little launch of a very exciting new offer that I am. Just so over the moon about it, I cannot wait to bring this to you. You can get on the waitlist. We have special pricing,special bonuses, all sorts of stuff. You’d be the first to know about everything if you join our wait list.

If you don’t join the waitlist, you will just get regular pricing like everybody else. But the wait list will get special pricing. So please join the waitlist. You can do that at NicoleLaino.me/waitlist. Or you can go to NicoleLaino.me/podcastlinks, which is where we have all of our links if you want, our free guides and all of that.

And the waitlist link is there as well. So hop on over to either one of those and we will get you on the list so you can be eligible for all of that stuff. Okay, so let’s dive into this episode. We’re talking about this feeling in women, this polarization internally in us of, I’ve got to be all of these things.

I’ve got to be this, and then something telling us, no. And, most of us are living in a world where we’re, bucking those traditional gender roles. I don’t live in a house where my husband thinks that I should do all the cooking and the cleaning. And I don’t have that.

And not that there’s, I’m not criticizing anyone’s lifestyle, but I’m not, look, I’m not living in that myself. So I don’t feel that. I feel like we have a pretty balanced life as far as he does just as much parenting as I do. We do, we have our different housework that we share. We both work, we’re both dedicated to our work.

There’s a lot of things that I just don’t feel like we fall into that, like typical male female relationships, but there are male – female roles that we’re playing. But those gender rules, because they’re still there, they’re in our DNA. And I think especially, and the women that I’m seeing this with definitely fall in this category are women who are from like the Gen X to the millennial cuspers.

So women in their forties and beyond maybe late thirties, but pretty much like 40 and older, I would say is like the hot bed here because we’re a real bridge into that. Women are really stepping into the workplace. Most of the moms when I was growing up. Most of the bombs did not work, or if they worked part-time.

They had a simple job. They didn’t have a full-time job where they left their full-time job when they had kids, and they did not go back even when we were in high school. So, we didn’t grow up with that. So we’re that first generation of Nope, mom works all the time. And that’s okay.

Go to college, have a career. Like the real career push, I think it came generationally. I’m not saying that women didn’t exist then that had, that, it just was not the norm in most middle class families. So it wasn’t what we grew up with. It wasn’t what we grew up with. It wasn’t our tradition that we grew up with, plus our DNA, of course, what we are taking from just the past generations before us.

So what I have noticed lately is it all stems from this underlying belief, and this is a belief I’ve worked with for a long time, but there’s this underlying belief that it causes underperformance, it causes feelings of being stuck. And now from a human design perspective, what? Feeling stuck and feeling like you’re, you can’t perform.

Usually people are telling me I can’t feel my sacral, I’m not getting invitations. I’m not feeling motivated to do anything. I don’t know. I don’t feel sure of anything. I don’t feel like my strategy and authority is working when they’re saying that this underlying belief really comes up, and it can come up in so many ways.

But I’m going to talk about one specific way or one kind of frame that it comes up in. The belief that we’re dealing with that’s causing this underperformance that’s causing this feeling of being stuck is, I am unsupported. It’s not okay to be all the things I am or all the things I want to be. Now, obviously, consciously, we know that it’s okay to be all the things that I am.

It’s okay to be all that I want to be, I want that. But internally, something is holding us back. This is an unconscious belief. This is what it means to have the unconscious dictating the world around you. And affecting everything that you do and everything that you experience. Why? Because when the unconscious when a situation is not made conscious, it appears outside as fate.

Now we can think about that from the law of attraction perspective of what you’re attracting. But let’s take a look at this from thinking that we are creating it through the way we react through the actions we take. In alignment with this belief. So the belief is I’m unsupported, right?

And I work with this so often. I have been working with this belief for years. I have been tackling it from all different perspectives. It’s a huge focus in my programs, and it’s a huge part of the deconditioning process that I have found because it does muffle all the internal, beautiful, intuitive signals that you’re getting.

From everything else inside of you, it does muffle it because there is this deep feeling that I’m alone. because when we feel unsupported, we feel alone. It makes us feel like we have to do everything ourselves. And we see roadblocks everywhere. We see all these reasons why something can’t work. I can’t do that because that’ll mean it’ll take me away from this.

I can’t do that because I don’t have the time because I have to do all of these other things. So now we’re operating in, I have to do, and it’s not what we want. It’s, I have to do, I have all these obligations, I have all of these things I can’t, I have to do, which then turns into, so I can’t do the thing that I want and now we’re in this, I have to, I can’t do mode.

When you’re operating there, you are not following strategy and authority. You’re either not hearing it or you’re ignoring it, so you’re not following your intuition. You’re reading about human design. You’re diving into all of this, but you’re not actually moving. You’re not actually able to use it because you are so conditioned with all of this other stuff.

You’re in the, you’re using the outside world as your authority, not yourself. You’re not able to even hear it. That pushes us into our not self theme. And the not sell themes are frustration, anger, bitterness, disappointment. It pushes us into those. So now you’re frustrated all the time, or you’re bitter all the time.

You’re just saying nobody lets me do anything. I can’t do anything because everybody over here needs me. I can’t do anything because I just feel stuck. That’s your not self theme playing out in your world. And that’s why you’re stuck and that’s why you’re getting the results that you are getting and the ones that you do not want.

So the thing with all of this is that none of it is real. It’s the way that you are viewing everything through this lens of being unsupported. Can you really not do that thing? Do you really not have the resources? Do you really have to do all of that other stuff? Or is it a story you’re telling yourself?

Is it a lens of unsupported that you’re looking at everything through that’s causing you to stay stuck? It’s becoming an excuse for you not moving. So this is where strategy and authority is wonderful, but it is, it’s difficult to use. It’s difficult to understand because you have all of this unconscious stuff pulling you, and there’s other things that we can show you in the chart of how you’re pulled in these directions.

But this is one where this is a belief and really what’s happening is with Unsupported is it makes us feel powerless. And the truth is, you are so darn powerful. You’re more powerful than you think you are. All those things you have to do, actually, all you have to do is ask. A lot of times all you have to do is stand in your power.

True power, not angry, power, not I’m fed up, but actual stillness of saying, I deserve this. Saying that with your energy, not even your words, and just saying, this is what I need. When you do that, when you can do that, you are met with support, but you have to ask for it. You have to step up either by letting, these are where boundaries come in.

This is where just asking for help comes in. And that’s one of the [00:13:20] most difficult things for I think a lot of people to do, but definitely for women. We think we have to be superwomen, but it starts with observing this feeling of being unsupported. Because once we can observe it and we see it there, now we’ve turned the light on, and now the shadow is suddenly not as dark.

And once we can observe it and we turn that light on, then we can change it. This is the first big power flex is being able to look at it, see that it’s there. And then take away its power. So I had a client talking about something where she really felt like she hit a brick wall. She genuinely felt like she could not take an action That felt really in alignment for her, and she was following strategy and authority.

She followed her human design. This is aligned for her. And we kept checking in with that. I was like, does this feel like a sacral? Yes. Does this feel, and I asked a lot of the questions that I do, getting her to feel into it, getting her to see, gauge her excitement, getting her to really understand where this want was coming from, where this desire was coming from.

So we know if it’s worth going after and what’s really going on here. And as we pulled apart all of the things that kept coming down to. Her not feeling like she could, like she had power in her family. Beyond just the basic day to day power over the money power to say that I need this power to say, trust me, really feeling in control like an equal partner.

What I pointed out was, and I did speak with her before this and got permission, and I’m not going to give any names or any details, but just so you know, I don’t talk about clients without discussing it with them first. But we pulled back because, and I came at this from my own experience with this, of recognizing how I felt so unsupported in my family.

And that was not because I was actually unsupported. It came from the fact that I felt that so deeply that I didn’t even feel empowered to ask for support. I didn’t feel empowered or worthy of the things that I was asking for the help that I needed to stand up for what I wanted. And part of that had to do with me feeling like I didn’t deserve what I was asking for.

So much of this was unconscious, but it was this feeling of, I, I’m not. What if he says no?

The thing is that they most often will not most of the time when people are dealing with this, and the client that I was dealing with this with got tremendous support. I got tremendous support. So many people do, and it’s about the way that you approach it. When you come as a worthy partner and you sit down and you have that conversation, you’re met with the energy of, and the language of course, whatever you need.

And that is so much more powerful than anything really because you’re looking, your belief in the face and you’re finding out that it was not true. And so much gets lifted when we do that. So much of that resistance, that fear, it can make everything feel so much more possible. And I will say from my perspective, sharing my experience that allowed me to go all in on an investment that I made.

And all in energetically on an investment that I made. All in. I was able to access a new gear in my business because of this, and I haven’t looked back since. Neither of us have, but the key with this also is that you have to come with the powerful energy, and that has to come from dealing with the feeling of unsupported, actually processing the emotion behind it and not just thinking through it or journaling about it. I use EFT. That’s what I use for deconditioning. I have not found anything more effective and fast than EF t. And you’ve got to go into that feeling. You’ve got to go into the truth and honesty of unsupported and supported. And when you do, then you’re finally free of it.

And that’s a beautiful thing. So I’ll leave it here. Thank you so much for being here. Remember to join the wait list if you want to be the first to hear about the new offer that we have for you in June. And if you want to be eligible for the special pricing, then please join us over at NicoleLaino.me/waitlist.

Sign up for that and we will send you the codes so that you can get special pricing for that offer when it is unveiled. And until next time, everybody remember, in order to have an unshakeable business, you must first become an unshakeable human. So join us next time so that we can help you on your journey of becoming unshakeable with human design.

We’ll see you in the next one.