Welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, the show dedicated to helping entrepreneurs use human design to shift from hustle to flow without sacrificing results. Come here to become an unshakeable human and build an unshakeable business according to your human design. I’m your host, Nicole Laino.

 Hello and welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, everyone. I’m your host, Nicole Laino, and we’re here today, having a little chat about worthiness, and we’re gonna talk about it with human design and all of this stuff. This was actually a conversation I had with a very good friend of mine, she’s another entrepreneur, and she and I got into this conversation around worthiness, and I wanted to have this chat on the show because I think we have a certain idea of what someone who feels unworthy is, we have a picture in our mind of what that is. And it was striking me during this conversation with my friend, who’s a really powerful, successful entrepreneur as well.

We’re two mani gens with defined egos who are certainly driven and ambitious. And going out there and making things happen. Things are working for us. We are successful. So from the outside world, you wouldn’t look at either one of us and be like, oh, they have a worthiness issue.

And I’m not saying that we do. We don’t have a worthiness issue. But I want to dig into how at every level, there is some worthiness work for us to do. And let’s pose the question to you, let’s start there. When you think of worthiness and am I worthy, what comes up for you?

Now you might think, I don’t have a worthiness issue. I feel worthy of everything. Do you? Or you might be like, wow, that’s really something that I have to work on. Maybe you saw the title of this episode and you were like, wow, I hope they tell me something different in here. How can I use my human design to feel more worthy?

How can I tap into my inner worthiness? I definitely have an issue with that. Maybe that was you. So worthiness is something that you may not knowingly struggle with. If you’re in the personal development world, and you’ve been doing this work for a while, like my friend and I have, we’re deeply immersed in the personal development inner work, where worthiness is always something that we’re working on.

Because it’s not the worthiness, it’s the vision that we have for ourselves. And do we feel like we can have it? And underlying all of it, there might be really plausible things that come up for you. I don’t have the audience for that. Or I need a bigger audience.

I need this in order to be able to get that thing that I am envisioning for myself. But underneath that, there’s always a question of do I feel worthy of those things that I need to get there? Do I feel worthy of the bigger audience? Do I feel worthy of this level? New level, new devil, right? Cause I think when we typically think of worthiness, when we think of somebody who doesn’t feel worthy, we think of somebody who’s desperate, we think of somebody who needs a lot of help, who’s not successful, who’s not doing well.

And that’s absolutely not the case. We all struggle with this at some level, maybe not all. I would venture to say everybody struggles with a little bit of worthiness. You feel unworthy of something. But are you struggling with it outwardly? Maybe not. But there’s always something, and I want to talk today about how I was looking at this.

And it’s funny, as I was putting this episode together, I realized that we’ve had this conversation on the show before, because it is a theme that’s come up, but it’s been a really long time, and it was way overdue to have this little chat again, because your worthiness is going to determine your actions, and your actions are going to determine your results.

And where worthiness comes from, or unworthiness comes from, is the minute you take something outside in the world and you put it above you, you have made yourself unworthy of that thing. You’ve made yourself smaller. And the game and the work is to feel worthy of everything just because you are and have your worthiness come from the inside. Not because of any achievements, not because of anything that’s happening outside of you.

Now, I mentioned at the beginning I have a defined ego. I do have something to prove. I am here to achieve things, but it does not determine my worth. My worth is determined by the strength of my own internal energy with my ego energy. It comes from me. And I’m going to break down how human design can help us navigate our own worthiness, and to come back to our own internal power.

Because that’s the most powerful thing that you can do. And if you’re an entrepreneur and if you’re a goal getter out there and you are pushing for the next things, then becoming worthy is going to have to be a process that you go through time and time again to challenge the position that you’re putting yourself in in respect to the other things that you’re going after.

Do I feel worthy of this next level and all the things that come with it and all the things I have to do on the way there? If I have to grow my audience by 10,000 people, do I feel worthy of 10,000 more people? Not am I doing the things, but do I feel like I truly am worthy of that?

And the truth is that we all are, we’re all worthy of people’s time, attention, their money. We’re worthy inherently just for being who we are. But our ability to take action will be tied to whether we truly feel worthy or not. Because if you’re avoiding things, if you are playing small, if you are somehow not showing up for yourself for that next level, with the level of intensity, consistency, joy.

If you’re not able to do that, it may not be a worthiness issue in every situation, but the question should be asked in every situation. Do I feel worthy of the thing that I’m going after? Sure, you could be in a rest cycle. You could be feeling like you just want to take a break. You might be in an emotional wave.

There are all sorts of things that can contribute to not taking action. To procrastinating. To taking a break. Breaks are good. As long as we’re not taking them, because we’re hiding from ourselves, as long as it’s not self sabotage. Because unworthiness is at the root of so much self sabotaging behavior.

So the question that I have for you, because we’re all feeling unworthy of something. What are you putting on a pedestal? What are you putting above you? What are you putting way up high? Human design can start to show you where you might be putting things on a pedestal, the things you might be afraid of, the shadows that you may chase, the areas where you might pour energy into them because you don’t feel like you’re enough in that area.

It serves as a map. It’s the coolest thing when you start to know how to read it and you start to understand how your energy works. When I started to realize that I had, I have a split definition and I have, I always forget the number, I think it’s six or seven gates that could bridge my split. So many areas that make me feel like I’m not enough.

So many potentials for me to be pulled off of my actual course to go and pour energy into these other places. to try to fill them up because I think they’re empty and they need to be full. When I stopped doing that and I start to just notice and be and act in alignment with the energy that I do have, started to inherently feel more worthy.

Because you know what? You feel kind of shitty when you keep doing something and it’s not working. When you keep pouring energy into something knowing that it is a losing battle. That this isn’t really going to work for you, not the way that you’re doing it. That you’re acting out of lack. There was part of me that knew that in so many aspects throughout my entire life.

That I was chasing something because I didn’t feel like I was enough. I was trying to build myself up in these areas. Rather than just being driven by the actual joy of doing something. It could be the same action, but where is it coming from? So I’ll give you an example. I think about when I was acting, and even at the beginning of my entrepreneurial journey, I remember having vision boards and journal entries and lists of desires about, I’m going to be seen and there was definitely this feeling of, I wanted to be famous.

I wanted to go out there and I wanted to put my work out in the world and people were going to see how I was so unique and so special, because I did not feel unique and special and I thought that the expression of me as an individual was so important, was the key to everything. And then I found out that’s actually a very key shadow, it’s one of those bridging gates for me.

So is it wrong for me to want to be an actress? No. Is it wrong for me to want to have a large audience to hear my message? No. None of those things are inherently wrong. But the way that I was going about it, the desperation in my energy to be seen in a particular way for certain things, I had to look at that.

That was coming from a place of extreme lack, of feeling like I was lacking in some place. I was unworthy in this way, and if I could just fill that gap, I would feel whole. And that’s not at all the way for me. I have grown an audience. I’m nowhere near famous, but I make my impact. I do things my way.

I no longer feel that’s a hole anymore. I don’t chase the way that I used to. And Human design is what showed me that particular path, where I could see it. Even after all the inner work that I had done. To see that bridging gate was there, to understand what it meant, to understand how I was wasting my energy and how I was still feeling incomplete.

Until I could just bridge this gap. That opened everything up for me and grounded me in a new way. Because we can’t be grounded, we can’t be unshakeable, when the outside world and some result or outside influence is validating us, where our worthiness comes from that. Once I have that, then I will be worthy of this next level, these collaborations, these friends, this house.

It can’t come from that place. It has to come from within. So, human design can act as a framework where we can start to look at the chart and start to understand where maybe are we pouring energy into things that are not the path for us, that are not going to ground us, that are not part of our home as a person, but a part of us that feels that they are lacking in some way.

Chasing our worthiness, trying to be enough. And human design teaches us to bring the power back inside of us where it belongs. That is through our authority. That is through following our strategy. That’s through understanding the areas that we have defined and being able to understand whether they are healthy or not.

To understand the areas that we have undefined, that we can understand whether they are conditioned and are pulling us off our path, which is what they do a lot of the time. When we start to understand that we can start to see the map, we start to see how things flow, and we start to see how we mess with ourselves, and how we can be our own worst enemy, and how we’re pulled off our path.

And if we just stop doing those things, if we stop being pulled by our conditioning or led by an unhealthy part of us, then we can heal that and we can start to shift where we’re doing the things that come more naturally, that are in alignment with our purpose.

So many of us want to live our purpose. When I ask people who join my Facebook group, who come into my launches, who book readings with me, any time someone comes into my world, we’re always asking questions. If you book a reading, I ask questions about your life and who you are and what you’re looking for so that I can try to deliver the results that you’re looking for, the answers that you’re looking for.

I can try to find what you want and what will help you most in the chart. So when I ask the question, what people are looking for, they’ll be like, to live my purpose, to serve, to live my purpose, to be closer to my purpose. 90 percent of the time there is a purpose driven message in there.

I want to be driven by my purpose. I want to live by it. I want to build a business by my purpose. All of that. Your purpose has nothing to do with your conditioning. Your purpose will not be found through you living in lack, it has to be through your gifts and being able to receive in your openness, to be able to be wise and know what’s happening in your openness.

So being driven for the sake of being driven, running after these accolades, these milestones. Like 80k months and things like that. If that really doesn’t feel like something that is coming from a true place in your heart, then it’s going to pull you away from your actual purpose path.

And I get it. We all have to eat. Everybody should be paid for the work that they do and everybody should be paid what they are worth. However, chasing big money months may not be the way that you experience big money months. If you’ve got an open ego, and you are running around trying to prove yourself, and you’ve made 80k months the benchmark of whether you are good enough to charge this, to work with this type of person, to have this many clients, if you put that out there as some sort of achievement, then you are chasing, then you are out of alignment.

You are letting your open center, your conditioning, because you’ve been seduced by people on Instagram, or you’ve been watching people who are making these numbers and you’ve decided that’s what you should want too. That’s not how you are led.

That is not how you live your purpose. That’s you trying to be somebody else. That’s the power of human design. It brings you back to who you are. And when you start to follow who you are, and you start to follow your process, and you start to live in alignment with what is correct for you, which really is about following your type, following your strategy and your authority.

Not taking action out of your conditioning, like trying to prove yourself and overachieve with a wide open ego is an example of that. If you start to come back to your design and how you are designed to live, then you might experience those 80k months. That may come to you. It’s just not going to come from you chasing them.

Or when you do get them, if you do manage to chase those things down, it’ll feel like hell when you get there. You’ll be burnt out, not satisfied, unfulfilled, because it wasn’t ultimately what you really needed. It was an idea that maybe somebody else planted in your head and got you to go run after it.

Probably because it suited them. So, worthiness really stems from and is rooted in you feeling unshakeable in who you are, being able to be led by your own inner compass rather than by external validation, the ideas that we have, the pressure that’s been put on us by the outside world, by our family, our friends, and all of those things.

To quiet all of that noise, come back home to ourselves and say, this is or it is not right for me, and making decisions from that place. So, I hope you like this. I hope that you love this episode. Please let me know what you thought. I’m @NicoleLainoOfficial on Instagram. Send me a message over there and let me know what you thought.

Share this on Instagram and tag me. And if you don’t know what your human design is yet, if you want an advanced chart for free from us. We do that on our website. You can go to nicolelaino.com/chart. You can run your chart there totally for free. We give you an advanced one or you can DM me the word chart on Instagram.

Again, I’m @NicoleLainoOfficial and we will send you the link to do that so that you can do that right inside the app. All right. Thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you. And remember, in order to have an unshakeable business, you must first become an unshakeable human. So thanks for letting us help you on your journey of becoming unshakeable with human design, everyone.

We’ll see you next time.

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Go to nicolelaino. me forward slash podcast links to join the group, book a human design reading with me or access our free human design resources. We’ll see you there.