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5/1 Emotional Manifesting Generator, Peak-performance Coach, Human Design expert, and Gene Keys Guide

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Human Design

The Truth About Deconditioning & Human Design

Episode 274

Today, Nicole dives deep into the concept of conditioning and its impact on our authenticity. She challenges common misconceptions about conditioning, explaining that it’s not a permanent state or a weakness, but rather a clue to understanding our true selves. Nicole emphasizes that every individual’s design is unique, and that the key to living authentically lies in recognizing and embracing our own specific blueprint.

Throughout the episode you’ll learn about the two core concepts essential to understanding conditioning: susceptibility and authenticity. Nicole guides you through the process of identifying where you are most susceptible to outside influences and how to use this awareness to uncover your authentic path. By learning to recognize and release the conditioning that has pulled us off course, we can begin to align with our true purpose and potential.

If you’re ready to uncover your authentic self and release the conditioning that has held you back, this episode is a must-listen. Join Nicole as she shares her insights and practical strategies for becoming an unshakeable human, and discover how Human Design can be your map to a more aligned, purposeful life.

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Hello, and welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, everyone. I’m your host, Nicole Laino. And today I want to talk to you guys about conditioning. And I want to bust some myths and I want to get to the truth around conditioning. Because it is a core concept to understand if you’re really taking human design seriously.

But I think people can get caught in, I’m conditioned, like you’re stuck in it. Like I’m always going to be that way, and that’s just not the truth. So I want to unwind some of this stuff. I know that a lot of people think that open, white in your chart can tend to mean that you are more conditioned, or have the possibility to be more conditioned in that space.

And it’s true, you’re susceptible to different things, but hard and fast rules like that I think end up usually causing distortion in the way that we understand anything when we’re looking at anything as black or white. Because, human design is full of grey. Even though it’s a binary of this and that, there’s still a lot of grey area and understanding, and there’s so much of looking at the totality of the chart, rather than just looking at the one thing.

Reflectors, for example. People look at reflectors, and they see all that white on the chart, and they’re like, oh, poor things. They must be so conditioned. They must be so susceptible to it. And the truth is that Reflectors are super resilient to conditioning on a one to one basis. They’re conditioned in a different way.

And it’s not really conditioning that they are experiencing, it’s different. They kind of become their environment. And it’s about bringing their awareness to why they feel the way they feel. Rather than thinking that everywhere they go, they’re going to be conditioned by the other, or they’re always going to be weaker than their partners.

Absolutely doesn’t have to be the truth. Every person is individual. Every situation is individual. This does not have to be the truth and is not the truth for most reflectors and for a lot of projectors, the same thing. There’s a different way of looking at this.

It’s not just white equals bad, white equals weak, white equals conditioned. And that’s a core concept I want to break down. So in this episode, what I’m going to do is I’m going to break down kind of the two core concepts that are important to understand when you’re looking at conditioning or when you’re trying to understand conditioning and how it works in the human design chart.

We’re going to demystify the deconditioning process, which I think a lot of people are like, I’m conditioned, now what do I do? How do I fix it? And there’s very little in the human design world that tells you about the deconditioning process, other than the fact that it supposedly takes seven years, and we’ll talk a little bit about that.

And then the last thing I’m gonna really talk about is what authenticity really is, and how human design is the map to your authenticity. And your authenticity is gonna be different than every single other person’s on the planet. Because your chart is different than every single person’s on the planet.

You are not like everybody else. And I think the design chart shows us that even charts that look really, really similar, I know a lot of people who have the same centers as me defined. But they’re very different than me. They might have all the same centers, but they might be a generator and I’m a manifesting generator.

We might both be manifesting generators with the same centers, but we have very different gates, our open centers are configured differently, and we have different gates and channels that connect those centers and that are activated in all of the centers. All of that matters.

Profile matters. A 1/3 manifesting generator is going to be very different than a 6/2. Because it’s a different design. It’s a different expression. Their role is different in this life. 1/3’s are here to do something very different than a 6/2 is. The purpose is different.

So we’re going to break all of those things down today, and that’s what this episode is going to be about. I want you to have a great understanding of what conditioning really is. And how you can use your chart to live truly as the most authentic version of yourself. And we’ll talk about what authenticity really is. So let’s talk about those two core concepts, okay?

Those two core concepts of conditioning, I think, come down to susceptibility and authenticity. These are the two pieces, because the definition in your chart tells you what’s true for you. And then the susceptibility part, that openness. What are you most susceptible to? When we know the dark and the light, the high and the low of each of the places, each of the centers, each of the gates, when we start to understand what those are.

So for me, knowing that my root is open, I know what the high expression and the low expression of that is. I know how it operates. I know how it operates in me. Then I become aware of the way it’s operating in my life, and then I can start to have some sort of control over it. Now it’s true, the white spaces in our chart, we tend to have less control over naturally.

Depends on the way that you grew up. Again, like I said at the beginning, every individual person is different, but in general terms, most people in the open space, that tends to be where it can be a little chaotic, it can be a little disoriented or out of control. It might be the place where we feel like we swing from one end of the spectrum to the other. Because it’s not consistent for us.

And the white space does tell us where we are susceptible. Where can we be easily influenced by the outside world? Where have you been influenced already? Because that’s really what we’re trying to do. If you are a grown person, who has lived a pretty full life up until now, you have certainly been conditioned in some way.

It does not necessarily mean that it’s all in the white spaces. It might be in your definition where you are unhealthy. That would have just come from probably a different place. And what that then becomes is something that’s very consistently pulling you off your path. But there’s different types of susceptibility.

When we start to understand what the difference is between the not self and the condition side of openness. So my undefined root, knowing that the not self of that is going to say, I’ve got to get this done now just so I can relieve the pressure. That’s a different relationship than somebody who has a defined root and we’re trying to figure out if it is healthy or unhealthy.

But the white space does tell us where we are most susceptible to being influenced by other people. The defined stuff that’s unhealthy, that’s going to be more, we have an unhealthy, low expression of something where it’s a different process that we’re going through. It’s something that we internally probably have identified with.

And that has become more of a structured habit within ourselves where that has been our fixed way of operating in a low expression. Openness is different. It’s going to be more, we are easily moved by the outside world. It’s different. So what are we susceptible to? But now that kind of brings me down to the next point that I wanted to make, which is what authenticity really is and how human design is that map to your authenticity.

Well, knowing what’s open in your chart and knowing what’s defined in your chart starts to tell you what’s authentic for you. Because many of us don’t know. What is authentically you? Who is the authentic version of you? And I think that so many people are gravitating toward this system, and to lots of other things as well, the Enneagram and the other personality tests, but I think particularly human design strikes this really truthful cord in a lot of us where we’re like, there’s something here for us.

I think the reason for that is that a lot of people feel down deep that they aren’t being true to themselves. That they aren’t being fully authentic. And they’re looking for the map to find, who am I? What am I really here to do? Because I don’t think it’s what my life has been up till this point. I don’t think I’m living up to that potential. And what I think we can get confused with a little bit is that we think that the potential means achieving more And while that may be a byproduct of authenticity, of living aligned, that is not the deciding factor of whether we are aligned or not.

We think we’re in pursuit of achieving more, but really what I think a lot of people are looking for is, who am I and what am I here to do? And then how can I turn that into something that I do all the time so that I feel authentic to me all the time. So that question of who am I, what is authentically me? The truth is that many of us don’t know.

Many of us don’t know because who you have been up until this point, how you have operated, the things you’ve done, what has been authentic to the way you’ve been, who you’ve acted like out in the world, may not be authentic to your purpose and authentic to who you are meant to be, who you were born to be. And that’s what human design shows us.

What was I born to be a lot of? What was I born to receive? How am I supposed to be susceptible or receptive to things? What am I meant to be receptive to? So that’s what’s helpful in understanding susceptibility is receptivity.

Definition is transmitting. Knowing what we’re here to put out and what we’re here to pull in. What are we here to be wise about the other? What are we here to put out in the world? What are our lessons? The lessons that other people are going to teach us? The lessons that are about ourselves? That is how we start to get through our conditioning and start to teach us who we are here to be.

Unraveling it if you’re a grown adult, if you’re a kid, we hope to avoid a lot of the conditioning and get those kids to be operating exactly as themselves for as much of their life as possible so they don’t have to go through the deconditioning process that us grown people are going through now.

So that brings us to deconditioning. Deconditioning is the process of unwinding all of this. Who am I authentically meant to be? Who am I really? Because I will say this, before my deconditioning journey, while I was at my core the same person, I think I operated like me, I feel like the essence of who I am was always there, but I was doing things and trying to make things happen.

And dealing with things in ways that were not in alignment with who I am meant to be and the purpose that I’m here to fulfill in this world. So, it never felt right. I’m a different person now, having gone through my deconditioning journey. Why? I’m no longer operating from my trauma. I am no longer operating out of my wounds.

I am no longer being pulled off course by either trying to keep myself safe, or being afraid of what lies ahead, or feeling like it has to be some other way because the outside world told me that. I can follow what truly feels right to me. So the deconditioning journey is the process of unraveling who we’ve always been and reconciling it with who we were born to be. And then we start to operate according to our design.

So this is how you can start to bring it together. It’s about, like I said, unwinding and unraveling. How have I been pulled off course? Well, we need to know what the course has been. That’s what the chart is. The chart is what was the path? What was the map that we were meant to be following all along that maybe we forgot about or never knew about and got pulled really off our course?

So now let’s deal with all the stuff that’s pulled off our course. Let’s try to unwind all of that, heal that, that’s what healing usually looks like. I’m gonna let go of the coordinates that were punched in before telling me it had to be over here. It had to be this way. And I’m going to re enter them so that they are on course with who I’m meant to be.

So we have to let go of all of the old ways. We have to let go of all the old ways of operating and the things that we believed were true. So that we can believe in and walk the path of our actual purpose. And that can sound complicated. Okay, well, how do we do all of that?

How do we walk the path of our purpose? That’s why the mechanics of human design do break down into a pretty simple framework of strategy and authority. It’s why we always come back to it. Because the other stuff can get overwhelming, it can get really confusing. We can try to be pulling apart all of these pieces of ourselves and trying to fix it all.

And asking ourselves, what do I do about this? And the answer is, deal with your old trauma, feel your feelings, and follow your strategy and authority. I’m a manifesting generator, I’m an emotional authority. When all else fails, I trust in response. I know when I am trying to initiate something, why I feel frustrated, that’s the not self theme of a manifesting generator and generators in general.

When I feel frustrated, I know that I’m not in alignment. I’m not meant to be frustrated, I’m meant to be satisfied. So that becomes my signpost. So now I know when I’m out of alignment. I know what I’m truly meant to be. What’s authentic to me? Satisfaction. Peace. That’s how I’m supposed to feel.

And if I don’t feel that way, then something’s wrong. And not wrong like I have to shame myself for it. Wrong like, there’s a correction that needs to be made in something that I’m doing or some way that I’m being. It gives me a way to interact with myself and coach myself through life.

I’m an emotional authority. I’ve got to feel real comfortable with waiting. I’ve got to get real good at knowing that clarity comes over time. The more comfortable I get with that, the more in alignment I am. Then the rest of the stuff becomes the homework.

Let me dig into this conditioning pattern. Let me look at these past feelings that I have not wanted to feel. Let me go into all of this other past trauma, experiences that maybe are weighing me down and making it harder for me to follow my strategy and authority with power. This is the process of living in alignment or what I call becoming unshakeable, becoming that unshakeable human.

This is the process, and conditioning is the window, we think of it as such a bad thing, I don’t want to be conditioned. We’re all conditioned. It’s understanding how did we end up here, how did we get here, and then where you’re conditioned becomes the clue to how you get unconditioned.

Projectors, I always say, when you stop operating from the not self of your sacral center, of feeling like you need to work and work and work. When you start to truly wait for invitations and recognize how often you are just trying to go and go and go, And you’re not taking the rest, and you feel like you don’t know when enough is enough, which is the not self of the sacral.

When projectors go to that biggest one for them, which is usually the biggest one for projectors is usually, and all non sacrals really, is the sacral center. When you decondition that sacral center, and you learn to not give in to that pull to work and work and work, when you change that, life changes very, very quickly. Things start to go into alignment very, very quickly for projectors when you truly stop following that conditioning. So conditioning gives us a clue into exactly where the work is. Like I’ve always said, trauma work, your triggers will tell us more about where your healing needs to be than all of the books that you could read or journaling you can do.

Follow your triggers and you can decondition and you can heal trauma real quickly if you look real closely at your triggers. It’s the same thing with conditioning. If you start to look at where you are more susceptible to conditioning and then notice where you are actually conditioned, Then that tells you that’s not authentically you.

Anything that is conditioned is not authentically you. And if you work on that, you get closer and closer to your authenticity. So. I hope that this concept landed for you, that you’re understanding how conditioning affects your authenticity and how this is not a death sentence. Actually, if you could start noticing your conditioning, you start noticing exactly what you need to do to correct it to be the most authentic version of you. So you can live your purpose and live in alignment with your purpose and become what I call the unshakeable human.

And if you’re interested in becoming an unshakeable human, then I have something very exciting to share with you. We are launching a brand new program called Unshakeable Human. And it is everything that I’ve been talking about here and in the centers series, and even in the profile line series, we’re going to go through type, authority, profile, all nine centers.

You get a digital course. You also get four live lessons with me. And two Q& A calls. This is going to be such an amazing, really in depth human design program. If you want to live in alignment, this is the program for you. And we’re doing a waitlist. So the waitlist is a little bit different.

DM me the word embody waitlist to get on it or go to nicolelaino.com/embody-waitlist and you can sign up right there. But the waitlist is going to be different. It’s not just a waitlist and then we send you an email and tell you how you can buy. Waitlist gets you a pass to 50 percent off the regular price of this program.

And the first person to buy the program will be refunded their money in full. They will get 100 percent of their money back. So if you are the first person to buy, if you’re like, I know this is for me, then mark your calendar for the day that we open the waitlist and you will not only get 50 percent off but you actually have the chance if you buy to get that email from us that says actually you were number one, you get all of your money back so you get this for free.

Everybody else will still get that 50 percent off, that amazing deal that we are offering here. It’s really really cool, this felt like a really fun thing for us to do so we’re excited about it, we’ve never done anything like it before so we’re testing it out. I hope that you sign up for the waitlist so that you can get the 50 percent off and join us in the Unshakeable Human program.

It’s going to be a beautiful, exciting, transformative six weeks together. I cannot wait for it. I hope that you join us there. Remember, DM me embody waitlist on Instagram. I’m @NicoleLainoOfficial. Or go to nicolelaino.com/embody-waitlist embodywaitlist and you can sign up there. Thank you so much for being here.

Thank you always for being here. I appreciate you more than I could ever tell you. Thank you so much. And remember, in order to have an unshakeable business, you must first become an unshakeable human. So thanks for letting us help you in becoming unshakeable with human design, everybody. We’ll see you next time.

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