Episode 374

Hello and welcome to Unshakeable With Human Design, everybody. I’m your host, Nicole Laino, and we are here today, just the two of us, and we’re gonna talk about something that I see. Come up with a lot of people who end up in my programs. Certainly we’re going into the Authority Accelerator Masterclass.

In fact, if you’re listening to this show on the day that it is released, we start today. We start May 12th. So if you’re listening to this, anytime between May 12th and that Friday, which I believe is the 15th, if you are listening to this. Between the 12th or the 16th, you can still get in on the action and you can still register for it.

The Authority Accelerator Masterclass is my five day masterclass where I take you on a little journey of how you build a business according to your human design and step up into the authentic authority that you are meant to be. So if you wanna join us, all you have to do to register is go to Nicole Laino dot com slash masterclass.

Register for the upcoming free 5-day masterclass, The Authority Accelerator in HD: Create Your Million Dollar Message in 5 Days Using Human Design at nicolelaino.com/masterclass

You could do it right there on the website, or if you prefer dms and you want me to do the work for you or my little bot in the dms, just DM me the word masterclass on Instagram. I’m at Nicole Laino official, and we will register you right there in the dms. Super simple, but my whole point of bringing that up.

Is before these masterclasses, I do these connection calls with people who are joining the masterclass. I love to talk to people who are joining the class ’cause I wanna hear what people are going through right now. What did you join this masterclass for? Because there are so many ways that I can go with this and I tweak it and rewrite it every time that I do it.

So I really wanna bring something new and fresh, and I wanna make sure it suits the people who are sitting in the seats, right? So I offer these connection calls where we get to sit down. Quick, 15 minutes, they get to meet me. I get to meet them, I get to hear their story, and they can ask me a question or something and we can just quickly get through and, and make like a real human connection, which I think is sometimes missing in the way that we do things in this world.

And one of the things that I see come up time and time again in these calls, certainly the people who I work with, either in my private coaching people who come to me for readings, looking for insight, and then the people who end up, you know, in the, in the longer term programs with me, where they’re working with me for a year inside BBD and Business by Design.

I say this over and over again and it is this. Pivot problem that people come with, should I stay or should I go? And maybe you feel like this right now. I hear it a lot where kind of chances are you’ve had some experience with this theme that I’m about to talk about, which is, you know, feeling like pivoting is necessary.

That, that things right now are not okay as they are. That we are maybe feeling unfulfilled. We feel frustrated. We know something needs to change, but change can be scary. And I think because our mind starts, I. Churning through all the possibilities. What could go wrong? How are we gonna do it? Like so many questions and our mind gets really tired and overwhelmed when there are so many questions that we cannot answer.

Okay? So this feeling like a pivot is happening. Now, I’ll also say that sometimes it’s just the time of your life that you’re in, that you really might be in a pivot moment, literally. That you might be getting to your nodal gate change, where you’re going from the south node to the north node where you suddenly feel like you care about different things in different ways.

Not that the other things go away completely, but that it’s changed and you don’t know why. So sometimes just knowing that you’re in that moment. I did a reading for somebody the other day and literally when they had booked the reading was like a week after their Chiron, their Chiron returned, which, and they were a six line, they were a six two and as a six two, it’s like the biggest change of their life.

And I just asked, I said, you know. How do you feel about your life right now? And they’re like, you know, I feel like, you know, things are shifting. I feel like something’s happening and I don’t know what it is. And I said, well, you’re actually like literally in that change, like in the dead center, like almost to the day of it right now.

And so these interesting moments in our lives, you know, the Saturn return when you’re about 28 to 30, that’s big for everybody. The ous opposition, which is where we talk about when the north node and south node shift happens south to north, that that happens around the age of anywhere from 42 to 45. We usually see.

It’s usually somewhere around 42, 43. Lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of people at 44 is when their change happens. So sometimes we have these cosmic changes that are happening that are causing us to feel like, oh, I’ve gotta make a move. Now. What happens when we’re in that place? And I meet so many people because I think human design and self exploration and maybe trying to, sometimes those things can be an escape and sometimes they can be, you know, how we are working our way through it.

So I think a lot of people who are in that questioning phase of like, where do I go now? What do I do now? How do I make a change? They start to find something like human design. So some people, the people who resonate with the way that I teach it end up doing something with me. And you know, it can be an array of ways that they do it with me, but what I see universally is that people kind of wrongly think that there are only two options.

That they either burn everything to the ground and start over from scratch. They literally blow up their life. Or they feel like they have to leave things exactly as they are, that they have to stay the same. Or they have to take a sledgehammer to their entire life, to their entire business. And I wanna talk today about how you use human design to actually support you in the process of figuring out if a pivot is necessary, what that pivot is, and whether you honestly really do need to blow up your entire life in order to experience fulfillment.

And I’m not gonna say that sometimes we don’t. Some people really need to burn it all down. Some people really do need to question everything and knock it all down and build it all from scratch, but more often than not, what I see is people are just, they have such a preconceived notion about what their life can look like, what it should look like, what possibilities are out there for them, who they are as a person, that they have this, they’ve put themselves in a box.

So they think that the only way to get out of that is to destroy the box completely, and that fire is the only way out. But really it’s like the cage door is open, you can choose to walk out of it, and then suddenly maybe you don’t have to have such destruction all around you in order to have the same freedom that you’re looking for.

And I see this a lot, a lot with people with business. I see it with career pivots. I’m obviously, who’s someone who’s made career pivots quite a lot in my life, and I have burned it all down and I have made subtle tweaks. Those are, I’ve experienced both. I have, you know, left my corporate job and made, you know, the 180 left New York, left Wall Street, moved cross country to Los Angeles, became an actor, and then found entrepreneurship.

It’s a pretty hard turn, right? But then I’ve also pivoted in my business where I taught mainly business strategy in the beginning. Then that expanded to mindset and then that expanded and shifted to human design. And then I was at that pivot point where I was like, okay, I want it to just be human design.

Now I’ve gotta like get rid of all of this other business stuff. I gotta get rid of all of this other stuff. I’ve gotta like, I just have to be this human design person now. And that didn’t quite feel right either, but because it felt better than being exactly as I was before. Like again, that either or I either leave things exactly as they are.

Or I make this hard shift into 100%. The other thing for multidimensional beings, what I learned there in human design helped me find this answer and find this truth, and find this path, which was that there was a reason that I was drawn to both. I. And it gave me new insight into how I could change things to make it feel aligned overall without having to burn everything to the ground.

That helped me actually grow faster, grow more strongly with a solid foundation under me, and I didn’t have to throw my life into turmoil in order to make the change that felt right. Okay. I just wanna share some examples from like clients that I work with because maybe you are facing this now and I wanna talk about, you know, the hard pivot and then the more subtle tweaky pivot that we can make and how human design plays a role.

So one client comes to mind, I did not get permission to use their names or anything, so I’m just gonna keep this anonymous. But one client comes to mind, she is pivoting from a really huge career. And that’s scary, and I understand that. I did that too. It’s a scary thing. But when you know that you are kind of on the path of your destiny, that you are in alignment with your purpose, it definitely does get easier, but you start out questioning everything, and that’s what this client did.

She’s questioning everything. And before she found human design, she was just, I think the question becomes, it’s like, well, this is what I do. I can’t just start a whole new career now. What’s that gonna look like? I can’t wrap my head around that being an easy transition. So it starts to feel even scarier and even more hopeless and more aligned with possibility of going broke.

Then you know, your hopes and dreams coming to life, right? So. When she came to me, she came definitely, and it’s been very interesting and exciting and, you know, really made my heart sing to watch a client make. Such huge strides. She’s really done that inner work, and I think she’s a great example of how the inner work leads to clarity on what the outer work needs to be and how once you have clarity on that and you get really clear about where you’re going, then doing all of that technical stuff around it becomes a whole lot easier.

So this client, she started to really dive into her human design. She just got really curious about herself and I think you know this particular client, she’s a three line, so I think looking at her past and getting really comfortable with the fact that her journey was going to be messy and it was meant to be messy, that allows you to let go of a whole lot of shame that you’re probably carrying.

I’m not sure, I know many threes that don’t carry some shame. For the wreckage or the not getting it sooner, or it just not looking like a clear, smooth path? I’m not gonna say none because I don’t think my husband necessarily, but he actually, he has some things that he’s like, yeah, I, you know, I kind of fumbled my way through that stage of my life.

I don’t think he dwells on it very much, but it’s definitely, it’s a thing. He’s also very, very self-confident. He likes himself. His gate 10 is in very, very high expression. A lot of threes that I meet carry some sort of shame, guilt, kind of just like a, can be a pessimism about them for sure. Where, and they may not even know it ’cause it might not be this front and center thing.

I’m not meaning this to say that they are like brow beating themselves all the time about how worthless they are or how, what failures they are. No, no, no, no, no. It’s much more covert than that. It’s the thing that says like, you should thank your stars that you’re here and that your life has worked out like this.

Don’t go changing anything now as a three, you’re meant to change things. So this client really getting into contact with who she’s meant to be through her profile, and then really getting into contact with her purpose and understanding what that meant. Now this has happened with multiple clients with the same incarnation cross where they feel like they need to.

Their fear is like, I gotta go deep with everybody. I have to take everybody on this big, long journey. I have to go really deep. And it’s like, no, you are the spark. You are the igniter. You are the person who breaks. People open to a new direction, but you do not need to steward them through that entire journey.

In fact, you probably won’t enjoy that. Now the preconceived notions about what it has to look like, oh, oh, oh. It doesn’t have to be the way I thought. It doesn’t have to be like that. It gets to be different. Ooh, now what can I dream up? This is what makes this process so incredibly fulfilling, interesting, and and insightful because when we are aligned with possibility, it makes it so much easier to do the work.

To show up every day to write the content, to do the podcast, to, you know, book the launch and do the launch. All of that technical strategic work. If you are battling yourself the whole time, or if you are believing that it’s not possible for the thing that you want to actually happen, that’s gonna hold you back, that’s gonna be something where you’re procrastinating, you’re not doing the thing, you put it off all of that, and that means you have work to do around that.

Now inside my programs we also do visioning exercises. It’s not just human design, it’s, I use a lot of manifestation techniques around the human design stuff. I use my EFT to Decondition and really let go of that trauma small T big T trauma. I. I use visualization so that you’re actually able to see something different and make that thing really specific so we can, and we use NLP techniques to help you feel closer to your future and make it feel possible for you.

But it all comes from like that. Opening up and aligning and understanding what your purpose is makes all of that other work so much easier. So much easier to visualize a future. That feels like it’s aligned with your preordained purpose, then it just feels like, oh my God, I’m meant for this. And that’s very exciting.

So, right. And that client, you know, she’s very aligned with her purpose. She feels it lit a spark in her. It made her feel more empowered to walk boldly in that direction. She’s launching her new offer next month. And she has this whole thing happening and she’s super lit up by it and she’s so excited.

But that’s like, that’s the hard pivot. And we’ve worked out kind of an exit strategy for her other business. Here’s another thing. People o often look at that transition, right? How do I go from living one life to living this life and not have that feel like one has to crumble in order for the other one to live?

Well, the truth is, is that, you know, I don’t think that it serves anyone. I. To quit something that is your livelihood and that you rely on and send your nervous system into complete and total freakout mode, and then you put pressure on your new business to deliver something that you spent years building and you expect your new business to deliver instantly.

I was putting a lot of pressure on you on the business, and it’s sort of just been my experience. Some people have a different one. I. But what I have seen people do is that just messes with the energy that you bring to your business because you’re so scared all the time and you’re disappointed in the business because every single win isn’t enough unless you are one of those people who has a $200,000 launch out of the gate, which quite frankly, particularly these days, is not happening very often.

I’m not saying it can’t, just don’t see it all that often. But we can see big change. But to make yourself feel like there’s a bit of a softer landing, I don’t think that there’s any shame in that. And you energetically, you work with kind of cutting the cord on your old life gradually and moving over into this next thing.

And there are techniques that you can use to do that. But codependency doesn’t just happen with people. Codependency happens with careers and businesses and jobs all the time, right? It’s scary to let that go. The antidote to that, to codependency is independence. The more independent you become, the more empowered you become to be exactly who you are and feel like you can stand on your own two feet.

You will find that you very naturally can let the other thing go and that’s really the game. One other story that I wanna share about a client two actually come to mind, but I’m gonna focus on one ’cause that was the hard pivot, the one that I just explained. Then there’s the tweaking. A lot of times we think we need to hard pivot and maybe you are in this situation right now where you think you need to break it, burn it all down.

You need to like, okay, I don’t love my offers anymore. I don’t love what I’m doing. I, my program doesn’t light me up. My, this doesn’t light me up. My service doesn’t light me up. I don’t wanna do this anymore. I wanna do this other thing right now that can often feel like, you know, sometimes it’s like I. I feel off about my business and that’s what these clients were experiencing.

I just feel off, I don’t really feel lit up by it. I don’t really wanna do it, but it pays the bills and something just hasn’t been right and it hasn’t been lighting them up. Right. I. And they think they need to hard pivot. Okay, well what’s next? So they start looking at the whole wide world and say, well, maybe it’s this.

Maybe I’m gonna switch to this type of coaching. Maybe I’m gonna switch to this thing. Maybe I’m gonna do this. And what I suggested with this particular client that I’m thinking about, I suggested, I was like, why don’t you explore your design a little bit, dig into the work we do in the BBD program. Just start to explore who you are, what your purpose is.

Because the way that we do that work, it’s not just about reading the definitions in the human design books and in my database that I give you access to, or in the report that I give you after you’re reading. It isn’t just about that. It is about the reflection that you have and we give you workbooks and stuff to start working through that, but it’s a way of merging you and seeing how this chart has been working you through your whole life.

Every moment of every day, it’s your program and you’ve either been forced into a program that is misaligned or aligned. Now, some of us are horribly misaligned and everything feels often. Usually though, there’s a level of desperation in that type of setup. I don’t get a whole lot of people where it’s that bad.

Usually I get this. Through her exploration of her design, through her exploration of what it means to be her profile, what it means to be a generator, noticing what lights her up, what makes her frustrated, noticing that it isn’t everything about her business that makes her frustrated. Just some of the things.

Okay, well now we can start exploring and ask some better questions. One of my favorite quotes is the Tony Robbins quote. I believe it’s Tony Robbins. The quality of your life is determined by the quality of questions you ask. I asked her, I’m like, well, okay, well how would it feel if you didn’t do those things anymore and you did these?

How would it feel if you tweaked this? Or sometimes I can ask a question about a particular gate or a particular aspect of her chart and it lights a new spark. It’s like, I never thought of it that way. And usually what we find is that it isn’t this giant leap from where they are. I. It’s like a step to the side, and then it’s taking some of the things off the plate and maybe rearranging and reworking her offer and her messaging so that we are, you know, for, for this particular person I’m thinking about, you know, she’s like planning on doubling down on a niche that she has wanted to serve but was too afraid to niche down to, and that’s.

Really powerful. And it isn’t just about knowing what your nodes are. ’cause that’s the part, you know, when I talk about the cosmic niche, there’s a specific process that we take you through of understanding who your cosmic niche is, but then what you do for them. What do you have to offer them? When you start to explore the way we do, it’s like, oh, I, I never thought about it that way.

I actually am kind of serving sort of those people now. Or when I think about it through my own experience, this is what comes up. Interesting. Okay. Can we build something that actually still incorporates the thing you’ve been doing all along? We’re just actually maybe adding some things. What I’ve seen is a lot of people moving to this more holistic framework.

Of, I think people have felt jammed into strategies, jammed into frameworks, jammed into formulas. Your offer has to be this way. You have to offer one thing, you have to message it this way, and that can sometimes lead to not really loving what you created because it’s like, oh, I had to create it, but I had to create it like this, you know?

It’s like the studio getting involved in the movie. It’s like you have the movie, it’s written, it’s great. And they’re like, yeah, but you need to change this. You need to shorten it. You need to put these actors in because we have favors that we need to return. You have to shoot it here, not there, and then suddenly it doesn’t feel like your movie anymore.

By putting human design first and asking questions and exploring through that, it becomes your movie again. It becomes your choice. The changes you make have purpose and lead you to your purpose. ’cause that’s really what we’re talking about. When you start looking for your purpose path and you find it, if you’re looking in the right places and the right place to look is in yourself.

If we keep thinking, it’s out there. We keep thinking that the purpose path is gonna be someplace out there, but it’s here. It’s in you. Human design is just that framework to show you what’s in there. To show you how to get the answers that live inside of you out, which is what most of us kind of know cognitively.

But then we say like, well, how do I get the answers out? Well, you explore in this way. So I’m gonna go through not only this, not only the human design aspect, I’m gonna go through my whole framework for actually building a business according to your human design. I run a human design first coaching business.

Everything comes from you first, but then you do need business strategy. You still need to know how to structure it. Offer. Once you’ve created the idea for it, you do still need to have a way of delivering a message. You do still need to structure your message in a way that people understand the value that your offer provides.

These things are standard. We can just do them from a place where we come first. Where the movie being great comes first. Not necessarily whether it will be a blockbuster, you know, but we can have a world where both happen, where we can be profitable and aligned. And that’s what I’m gonna be teaching in the Authority Accelerator Masterclass.

So if that interests you, please come. It’s free. All you have to do to register is go to Nicole Laino dot com slash masterclass. You could register there on the website or DM me the word masterclass on Instagram. I’m at Nicole Laino official and I’ll register you right there in the dms. So thank you. I hope that this made you feel like pivots are possible, that a pivot doesn’t have to be a big sharp 180 turn, that it can be something that is more subtle, that is more tweaking and still deliver you the satisfaction and joy that comes from the change that you’re looking for, and that you see that human design can be hopefully a navigation system for you to help you find your purpose.

Register for the upcoming free 5-day masterclass, The Authority Accelerator in HD: Create Your Million Dollar Message in 5 Days Using Human Design at nicolelaino.com/masterclass

And if you’re interested in that, I hope to see you in the Authority Accelerator Masterclass. ’cause that is. Where I teach from and what I’ll be teaching inside that, inside that, in that masterclass, is how to really make human design that GPS in your business and bring you back to you, and then build a business that supports you and fulfills you financially and spiritually.

So I hope to see you there. Thank you so much for being here with me, for making it to the end of this episode. I appreciate you. And remember, in order to have an unshakeable business, you must first become an unshakeable human. So thanks for letting us help you become unshakeable with human design everyone.

We’ll see you next time.