Episode 391

Hello, and welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, everyone. I’m your host, Nicole Laino, and we are here to talk about purpose. I know that this is a favorite topic amongst our listeners. I know that most of the readings that I do and when people join my programs, a lot of them will say, you know, I want to know what my purpose is. I want to feel closer to my purpose. I want to understand what my purpose is. I spoke with somebody today, and looking at the questions that they answer when they book a call with me, I ask you know, what do you hope to get out of this call? And a lot of times they will say, you know, I want to know my purpose. I think it’s a very human thing. And we’ve certainly talked about purpose on the show a lot. 

But something that I noticed recently, specifically working with the clients that are in business by design right now, I’ve noticed just a new way that I’m kind of guiding them through this because it is a bit of a. I don’t want to call it a complete red herring when you’re chasing your purpose, but it’s just so often that’s not the way that it shows up. Seeing it saying like, okay, and you’ve heard me say this before on the show. If you listen often, which. Thank you. If you do that, your purpose is in a destination on a map where you’re like, okay, there it is. Let’s go get it now. That’s not how it works. At least not how I’ve seen it work. Purpose shows up. 

And something that I’ve noticed where I see a lot of people get stuck is that purpose can kind of work. Like the way the human design kind of works through you. It’s almost in, like, a backwards way. And I want to show you how misalignment and the signals that we get when we are misaligned, what they’re really showing us, how they’re actually gifts and how they are guiding you back to your purpose. If you don’t get caught in how crummy it feels or how you wish it were different or get stuck in your head about thinking that, oh, this feels so bad. I’m stuck in this rut. I’ll never get out of it. I’m further away from my purpose. Like, that’s often where people end up. 

And I want to show you that if you shift your perspective, if you look at it almost a little bit backwards, that misalignment can guide you and make you feel more held and. And more guided and more on track than you did even before you felt misaligned. Okay, so I’m going to unpack all of this in today’s episode. So I hope that you’re excited for it because I think that this is a fresh take. I haven’t heard anyone talk about it this way. And this is just something that I’ve noticed has really shifted people as I’ve started to guide them this way. Before we get started, I do want to call out that we have a really special offer that is out there right now. 

This is something that brand new that I have just unveiled, and I’m very excited about it because this is how I’ve really longed to work with people for a very long time. I’ve thought about how do I combine private coaching and the results that I get for people where I get to be really intimate with them, I get to really understand them, I get to only be focused on them. And we get to have really tailored and private focused time together, where we get to have integration over time. Where I’m kind of coaching in your pocket, I’m in their pocket, where they can ask me questions whenever they want. How do I get that level of support, but even more, where we get even greater results and even less time. 

And what I came up with that I’m so excited about are these private retreats that I’m going to be hosting here in Austin, Texas. So these private retreats are going to be completely tailored to the people who book them. This will be, if you want to focus on 70% business and 30% personal, we can do that. If you want to work on your funnels and your podcast rebranding and your messaging, plus diving into your purpose and working through your trauma through deconditioning tools that I use, all of that, anything that I do is on the table. 

And you pick your goal and your intention, and I curate an entire experience around it that includes all the time with me, but then also with other practitioners and other people here that I have relationships with that I think might make for an experience that is both transformative and enjoyable for the individual. So no two will be exactly alike. They will be completely different. And, you know, we’re putting you up in a really beautiful place on the lake. It’s a really exciting offer. This is the type of transformation that I have been longing to be able to do with people is like, how do I get you? How do I take you out of your life for a couple of days? So these are two day retreats. There is a private call with me prior to the retreat. 

So it’s a session before the two day retreat where we dive deep and then one month of vox or coaching for integration after the retreat. So you’re kind of taken care of on both sides. And then we really go deep on the two days that we are together. I’m so excited about it. If you’re interested in applying for one of these spots, please just go to nicolelaino.com forward/retreat. You’ll see there’s a forum there or DM me the word retreat on Instagram and we will send you the form link there. Okay, so let’s talk about purpose. Let’s talk about the backwards way that your human design purpose is kind of knocking on your door. All right, so we know we have these misalignment themes. We know that we have the type misalignment themes. We have a signature and a not self theme. 

To apply for the Exclusive Private 2-Day Retreat experience with Nicole please DM “Retreat” to @nicolelainoofficial on Instagram or click the link https://nicolelaino.com/retreat

So for generators, it’s frustration. For manifesting generators, it’s frustration and anger. For manifestors, it’s anger. For reflectors, it’s disappointment. And for projectors, it’s bitterness. Those are our not self themes by type. But then we have all of the centers, and the centers have not self themes or not self voices as we kind of speak to it. The open head is always saying, the answers are outside of me. How do I consume more? There are not self strategies that each of the centers have. So we have all of these things, right? And we can get stuck in these places in these misalignment themes. So what human design does that I think it’s better at than any other modality out there is it gets you paying attention to these particular misalignment themes for yourself. 

So if you’re a manifesto, you’re gonna become really aware of what makes you angry and how angry you get. Now, prior to understanding human design, you might get angry and just suppress it. You might get angry and not know what to do with it. That’s what I call autopilot, because you’re just getting taken for a ride by your conditioning. You’re getting taken for a ride by your misalignment theme. You don’t know what it is. You don’t know why it’s happening. And more importantly, you don’t know what it’s trying to tell you. Misalignment themes are not there to make your life difficult or less enjoyable, although that is usually the effect. They are there to realign you. They are there to guide you back to your purpose. But, of course, you need to know that the guardrails exist. You need to know that there’s. 

You know, if you were just like, the visual I get of this right now, this, like, analogy that I get is like, if you were just running down a trail and there were these people that were running alongside of you to make sure that you didn’t veer off into the woods, and they were there for your protection, and they were there to keep you on the path, right? So you’re running and you’re running, but you don’t know what these people are there for. You have no idea what their job is. You don’t know that they’re there for you. You’re just like, there are these people running alongside of me, and every time I try to turn, they punch me in the face. You wouldn’t be thinking like, oh, they’re trying to help me. 

And I think that’s how these misalignment themes can be Sometimes, you know, you feel like you’re getting punched in the face and you don’t know why, and you’re trying to figure it out. And then you get really preoccupied with trying to figure out why they’re punching you in the face, and you keep running into them, and you keep trying to figure it out. You keep trying to get past them, and. And they’re like, no, no, stay on the path. I’m trying to push you back to the path. It’s a weird analogy, but that’s the one that came to me as I was talking. But do you see how. What I mean, that if you don’t know that this is happening and you don’t know what the purpose is, it just feels like pain. 

It just feels like something in your way that you’ve got to get past, that you got to get over. So when you start to understand what these misalignment themes are, and you know what their purpose is, which is to realign you, to get you back on your path. They’re not there to punish you for getting it wrong. And I think that’s where I see this a lot with people who get involved with human design. And now they know I’m not supposed to feel this way, but they can get really stuck in blaming themselves, like, I don’t know how to get out of it. What do I do? That’s more mind stuff. Usually you’re trying to mentally figure your way out of it, and that’s not how we do it. 

Even people that I work with closely, I still have to remind them all the time. That’s not your strategy. That’s not what you follow. That’s not how you find success. You’re a generator. You have to do it differently than that. By the way, no one’s strategy is to think about it more. Even mental projectors, that’s not their way either of making decisions or finding their path. It’s different. So it does help us find our way. And sometimes it helps us find our way by showing us that we are not finding our way, that we are on the wrong path. So when it comes to purpose, ultimately your design is trying to show you what your path is to your purpose. Because your purpose is what you’re here for in this life. And the world needs you in exactly the way that you were designed. 

For some reason, God, the universe thought that they needed that the world needed one more five one Emotional Manifesting Generator. Me, under the cross of Dominion. I was needed for something. I still don’t know exactly what that is, but I know that I’m not too far off from it because I’m not in my misalignment theme. But I trust that I don’t need to know exactly what it is. I trust that it’ll show up if I stay in this process. So your purpose, you’re being guided on your path because the world needs you to be exactly who you were designed to be. When you’re in alignment, your purpose shows up for you and through you. So when you’re out of alignment, it doesn’t. But it does kind of when you’re out of alignment, it’s showing you that when you’re misaligned, you’re resisting your purpose. 

So that misalignment, how it’s guiding you back to your path is it’s showing you a lot of times where you are resisting your purpose. So when I’ve started to coach people through this, I can call this out. It’s just because I can see it. Because I know design so well. So when they’re speaking to me and I’m like, I’m hearing the shadow of their conscious sun. I’m hearing the shadow of their purpose. I’m hearing the shadow of this. And I can call them out on those pieces. And I’ve just been noticing it the pattern I’ve seen is so often the shadow of that conscious sun, which is what leads your purpose. So you’re resisting a gift. And when you resist a gift, it causes a shadow to express. 

If you can start to see this, people tend to, you know, I sort of see this. Like, when you’re on your own and you’re doing this all by yourself and you’re trying to digest all of the human design knowledge that there is, you’re listening to podcasts, you’re taking it all in, you’re paying attention, you’re doing it all. But you can get stuck in trying to figure it all out, and it can get really confusing. And the visual I get for this is like, if you are stuck in the mud and you just kept hitting the gas, but the wheels are spinning, and that’s what happens. You know, you get stuck in this rut where you’re just. You’re hitting the gas and you’re like, why am I not going? Why am I not going? Why am I not going? 

I see this so often with people. There’s something about me or someone like me. I’m not saying it has to be me, but someone like me coming in and saying, do you see how this is actually a shadow expression of your main gift? Do you see how you might be resisting your purpose here by getting caught in this pattern instead of aligning with this one? Do you see how you’re trying to think your way out of this, but you’re a generator, and if you’re not following your energy and where it wants to go, you’re going to get more of this, which is exactly what’s happening. There’s something about being able to explain that to people and show them what’s happening. Show them that process that causes them to stop hitting that gas where the wheels are spinning in the mud. 

It causes them to go, oh, maybe I don’t have to fight so hard to get out of this. It opens them up that there’s a new way. And I don’t want you to underestimate how powerful that is, because in your mind, it’s like, there’s only one way. And when you’re in fight or flight, that one way really feels like the only way. And it feels like you will exert every ounce of energy and effort that you have to move in that direction, because this is life or death. That’s how it can feel sometimes. But when someone can come in and kind of show you. I see myself as somebody who. 

And people who do work like this when you can point out the pattern and you can actually give somebody a process for finding their way out of it’s almost like they’re borrowing you to help them become the observer. That’s a saying in mindset work, in, you know, growth work, you hear this. The goal is to become the observer of your thoughts, the observer of your behavior. When we’re in it, we’re in the weeds. We are in the moment. And it’s hard to see. This is that it’s hard to read the label from inside the bottle. The goal is to be able to zoom out and be able to see what you’re doing and see it for what it is, not from the place of being in your body and being so in it that you lose that perspective. 

Coaches, third parties, particularly ones that are neutral and don’t have any skin in that game in the sense of, you know, family can have their own agendas and their own feelings and things like that. But when you have a impartial third party that can come in there and say, pull you up to their perspective and say, can you see what I see? If you zoom out, Can I zoom you out with me and show you what’s happening? Let me show you a bit of what this looked like going forward. Let me show you where you’re misaligned, and let me show you how you can correct that. Can you see? It’s so valuable. So I hope that you found this helpful. 

I hope that you found this insightful to see how the next time you find yourself in one of the misalignment themes, when you find yourself face to face with the not self and you realize that it’s been driving you, ask yourself, how is this realigning me to my path by seeing this now? How am I able to see where I need to shift my energy or my focus? And if you’re interested in doing one of the private retreats with me, applying for that again, these are going to be exclusive offers that I am so excited to work on with the people who sign up, because we get to do everything that I just said. I get to watch you, I get to help guide you. I get to go deep with you. We get to decondition. 

When I think about what I can do with somebody if I had them for a session, plus two days, plus a month, I am, like, on fire about that. So if you want to know more about the retreats and you want to apply, please go to nicolelaino.com retreat. You can fill out the application there or just DM me the word retreat on Instagram and we’ll send you the form there. Thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you. And remember, in order to have an unshakable business, you must first become an unshakable human. So thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with human Design. We’ll see you next time.

To apply for the Exclusive Private 2-Day Retreat experience with Nicole please DM “Retreat” to @nicolelainoofficial on Instagram or click the link https://nicolelaino.com/retreat