Episode 390

Hello and welcome to Unshakable with Human Design, everybody. I’m your host, Nicole Laino, and I want to talk about actually creating your human design embodiment plan here. What I think is so amazing about human design, I think why so many of us are gravitating toward it and find so much value in it is the fact that it is customizable. It is tailored to us. It’s not saying, here’s how you do this thing. It’s saying, wait, you’re this type. You’re a projector. Your way is going to be like this. And then it gets even more nuanced. 

Well, but your authority means you are splenic. So you’re going to be a certain way and you’re going to make decisions a certain way. And by the way, you have these definitions and this openness, and we just get more and more differentiated as we go. No two definitions are exactly the same. So. And then we have our lived experience on top of that, and it takes all of that into account. But the thing that I notice so many people get stuck in is they know their design. And I see this with people who do readings with me, I see this even with my clients. Certainly when they start off on an intellectual journey. And my goal is, how do I get you from knowing it to living it? Because knowing it’s interesting. Living it is life changing. 

Knowing it actually sometimes can cause more problems because then it gets you asking a lot more questions that feel like they have answers, like specific, strategic answers, but they don’t. It’s not a thinking path that we’re going down. And it gets you stuck in your mind, which is the opposite of what human design is supposed to do. So what I want to do in this episode is I want to break down a. I want to take you through, like, a five step. I’ve broken this down into, like, a five step embodying your design process. So if I were to take you through these steps of what’s most important for you to know, and some nuances within that, how you get living by this, these five steps will take you there. 

And then I’m going to finish up after the five steps, and I’m going to talk to you about the most common hurdle that I see with people when I’m trying to get them to embody their design versus just knowing it. So without further ado, I want to jump right into the framework because I’m going to break this down and I want to do it in detail and I really want to take the time that is necessary to go into each of these so you understand them. But I also, I want you to just kind of like let this wash over you. You can listen to it again, but let this wash over you and just see where are you. If you’ve been working on human design for a while, where are you with this thing? How are you in relationship to it? 

Look at how you think you’re activating or using this process. You know, ask yourself honestly, am I doing these things? Am I like living by that? And if you feel like you are, but you’re still not seeing results, maybe look at it again and say, am I just intellectualizing this or am I really living it? Am I really doing these things? Okay, so that’s my hope for you. So I’m going to take you through the five steps and then I’m going to take you into, you know, after that roadmap, like, what are the two things? It’s actually the biggest challenge that I see that I kind of break into three parts. So you can kind of understand how this one challenge sort of gets broken into these three pieces. Okay, so let’s start. 

The first piece of embodying your human design and creating your embodiment plan is your type of. Now, none of this is going to sound too earth shattering from just the categories, but I hope the way that I’m digging into this and the way that I’m talking through this, you start to see the difference between just knowing what your type is and actually following it. And of course, type gives us our strategy. So there’s that piece, which we all kind of know. But each type has its own way of moving through the world in alignment. Manifesting generators. Yes, I have a strategy to respond. Yes, that’s correct. But there’s a way that manifesting generators work in the world, and it’s important for you to honor that. Projectors. 

It’s important for you to honor the way that you walk through the world, that you operate in this world in a way that people respond to in the way that you want. Now, I also want to say we don’t always get what we want. I talked about this in another episode recently. We don’t always get what we Want because we’re following our design. Because what we want might not be what’s in alignment for us. We get to choose the things that we want. We don’t get to choose how they come to us. And so you might have a big vision, but the universe is saying, I get that, I see that, I feel that. I know that’s true for you. But it’s actually, it’s this path and it looks a little bit different. 

And I’ve got to take these things away before I give you that. And we have to be open to that. You can’t be so rigid in the way that you’re seeing your vision that you can’t see it another way. You have to be open. But each type has its way of moving through the world, operating correctly in this world. They have specific shadows and specific tendencies that keep them stuck. And they have specific gifts and talents and that lift them out of that stuckness. Now, a lot of people like a very simple way of knowing this is generators. Gotta do generators. Manifesting generators. That saying action leads to clarity really is very true for sacrals. And understanding that your shadow might be to get stuck in the stuck. And you have to understand how you create opportunity in your life. 

Projectors create opportunity differently than generators do. Manifesting generators, you’re going to. We are going to create opportunity, create excitement, get people interested in our stuff, feel like life is moving all around us in a different way than a manifester will. There might be some similarities, but there are different ways of doing that. And we have to notice where we are maybe not in alignment with that. Deep aspects of our type are going to reflect in our relationships and they’re going to cause harmony or they’re going to cause trauma. Understanding that and starting to understand ourselves through the lens of type, this goes deeper than just following your strategy. Understanding that on a soul level, not so you know those things. It’s great to know them, but it’s so you know them enough that you trust them. 

And it gives you permission to live life the way that usually we feel is aligned for us or will call us out to some way that we are getting in our own way. It is very practical. It is a thousand times practical. This is not an intellectual thing, but the intellectual knowing hopefully leads us to a greater level of awareness that leads us to correct action or inaction. Sometimes projectors, you need to know that different things are valued for you and from you. You must trust that There’s a lot of permission that projectors have to give Themselves to be different. How comfortable are you with being different? These are deeper questions that we have to ask ourselves and see what they unlock in us. It’s a portal. Human design is a portal to understanding yourself, but not just so you have answers. 

When somebody asks you what type you are. And what does that mean? No, it’s not that. It’s not about you reciting your gates and the shadows and what they all mean. It’s not that. It’s about you owning this as who you are and honoring all the aspects of you, even the ones that seem inconvenient or incongruent with what the world tells you should be or what would get you to where you want to go. So that’s the first piece is type. And it’s so much more. It’s strategy, but it’s so much more than that. We go so much deeper. Okay, step number two, your conditioning map is what I’m calling it. Understanding your chart. Understanding where we are healthy or unhealthy in our definition or our type. 

So with our definition, all the colored in stuff, that’s the stuff where you’re going to you school, you’re going to school in you. This is the stuff you are here to master. That’s your own. Where are you doing a good job? What grade are you giving yourself on each of those aspects? Am I an A in a defined ego or am I kind of a C because I feel unworthy and overly attached to achievement? Or you know, give yourself a grade in those areas and be able to see it. And then experiencing our openness in a healthy way so we can experience wisdom where we’re meant to be wise. The white stuff. This is where we’re going to life school. This is where we’re going to know about everybody else’s stuff. This is where we’re going to be receiving. 

How are you receiving all of that? Are you receiving it or are you trying to push out from that place? We have to take a bit of an assessment to understand what these things are, understand what the healthy expression and the not self themes are of our openness, of our definition. What’s healthy look like? What does conditioned look like? So then we can tune our awareness to these areas and start to correct them in real time. I’m not going to say that this is easy. I’m not going to say that this is necessarily the easiest thing to do because it’s difficult to read the label from the inside of the bottle. I get that. But this is the work. Now, another part of the conditioning map is to notice your triggers because there’s awareness of the things that we are. 

So, okay, I got this map. Now what? Okay, I’m gonna be aware of these things. We also have to know that where awareness fails, we may have trauma. So if we’re aware of something but we can’t change it, then that’s typically an area, you know, if you want to circle it on the map and say, I have deeper healing here that maybe needs to be done. I feel like I’ve been aware of this, I feel like I know it, but I can’t seem to break the pattern. Well, now you know you have deeper healing to do. That’s what I do with eft, with breath work. 

The deeper deconditioning work we do inside of my programs, inside of business, by design, and certainly that I do very heavily with my private clients, is, you know, to decondition and to go deeper into these areas so you can finally be free of those patterns. The patterns that are keeping you stuck in whatever stuck looks like for you. For every person, it’s different. And you’re gonna notice your triggers. This is kind of the next step. You’re not just aware of the things in your chart, but now be aware of how you’re reacting to the outside world. Be aware of the things that set you off, that take you out of your game, that make your head spin, that get your blood pumping in not a good way, right? What triggers you? We’re in a very triggering world at the moment. 

Notice the things that really bother you and notice the quality of that energy that it creates in you. Is it a response as a sacral where you’re just responding to something and it’s upsetting and you feel like you need to do something? Or are you triggered where you feel like you go into a heightened emotional state because this thing is making you so uncomfortable and it’s maybe outsized for what the thing feels like. We live in a very high intensity environment at the moment. So I think we’re all experiencing some array of this stuff. It’s important to be able to. What we’re talking about with this framework, what I think human design allows us to do is to become an observer of ourselves. But you can’t really be an observer unless you are a bit removed. 

You’re kind of above the whole thing, watching it all. You’re not in it. Triggers bring you back in it and you can no longer observe. And now you’re kind of out of control because the emotion takes over. This triggers. I Would say triggers are gifts because it shows you exactly where you have healing to do. It shows you exactly where the world is able to control you in a way that we don’t want to allow. We shouldn’t be pulled by our trauma. No one should be able to manipulate us through our pain. I see a lot of that right now. And it’s so important for us to say, you don’t get to do that to me. Nuh. I’ve worked through that and we do that through. I mean, I love EFT I think is the best, most amazing tool for this. 

But there are lots of tools that you can use to process your trauma, to process your triggers. Somatics, eft, breathwork, all of these tools are what get us to a deeper level of healing there. Like I have a private client now who had wounds around a particular person in their life and they thought they had worked through it because they had cut ties with that person and they had really kind of managed the relationship and managed the connection. And sometimes we have people that we can’t completely cut out of our lives. They can’t be completely gone. And even if we do, I have people that I’ve cut off. They still had the ability to trigger me. I didn’t like that. And my life changed when I started to go into all of those relationships and all of those things. 

And with this client, I saw in our session that she was still triggered by this person. Cuz I felt her energy change. I felt her get angry, I felt her get defensive. I felt like I felt that charge up inside of her. And it’s more complicated than taking the high road. So this is what this work is for. Because it’s not just that person that has the ability, it’s that type of situation now that has the ability to trigger you anywhere. So for me, I have felt manipulated by people in the past. I have felt, you know, wronged in lots of ways. And if someone else came in and made me feel wronged in that way, even if it was completely unrelated and even if that person, it really wasn’t that bad. 

They got the full brunt of all of my anger about every situation leading back to that bigger trigger that I hadn’t dealt with once I dealt with it, suddenly no one was triggering me like that. I was able to receive in new ways. Cause I had a greater level of trust. So understanding your conditioning and understanding it on both the awareness level of like okay, what’s here? And then going deeper to actually remove the conditioning to actually work through and Process, whatever emotions are tying that conditioning and that sequence and that experience to us. We can’t fully let go of something until we fully felt it. And we have to go through the process of fully feeling it or we end up attracting more and more of that situation to us. 

And we wonder, why do I keep ending up in this same kind of situation? Why do I keep dating the same guy? Why do people keep treating me like that? Why do I keep attracting that? I’m always asking myself if I get something that I don’t like. I’m always asking myself, without blame, I’m saying, how am I attracting this right now? How am I inviting this with my energy? Is there something I haven’t moved through that I think I did? Or I need to go a deeper level with it in order to not attract it to me anymore. So we go into it. This is life changing work. This is honestly the core of what I do with most of my clients because it always comes back to this. 

We’re doing strategy, we’re working on your human design, we’re doing all of these things, we’re lifting you into your gifts. But the whole time we’re like, well, let’s come back to like, what’s the trigger, what’s the shadow? What are the things that we need to move here? Okay, the third piece of this authority, making decisions from your truth. Everybody gets their own authority. And you have to understand the nuance of that. And I know I’m not saying anything that you haven’t heard before here, but understanding if you are an emotional authority, what that means for you from your decision making and then also just understanding that this is going to be the biggest, most powerful thing in your chart is your authority. It’s going to be the thing that is wanting to guide you. 

And there’s a specific way that you are guided correctly by that particular aspect. If you’re splenic, you have to kind of. There’s a bit of surrender that is necessary to your intuition. So you have to understand that if you’re an emotional, there’s going to be great power in your emotions, but there’s going to be a specific way. You have to work with your emotions or they are going to guide you in the wrong direction. So there’s that aspect. The fourth piece is your undercover gifts. A shadow map on a deeper level than just the conditioning. And it’s key energies in your chart, specifically gates. This is like the authority matrix that I work with, but if I’m working with a private client, they Might have different gates that I’m working with than what I’m doing inside our group programs. 

If I’m working with you privately, I’m really looking at your chart very specifically and are working on things that is completely tailored to you. But we’re unlocking your undercover gifts with this. We’re getting you to a fuller and higher expression of who you were meant to be. That brings me to the fifth piece, which is really connected to this. We unlock those undercover gifts, and then we give you the purpose led vision. You have to have a purpose led vision when you understand what you are here for. And sometimes it’s a very specific thing where we’re like, oh, I get it. I know where I’m going. I get it. But more often than not, it’s a north star giving you permission to be you. 

What I find very often is a lot of people are usually doing something in the realm of their purpose, and now they’re trying to deepen that connection to it. Where people get stuck is they. They make their purpose a destination that they feel like they need to get to. And I’m like, no, it’s something that’s going to work through you every day. So how do we get better at letting it work through us every day? What truths do we need to accept? 

Like, for me, I have to accept that I’m going to have these periods of confusion before I have clarity, before I have anything to offer people at the next level, before I can really start aligning with the next thing, before I can illuminate a path for people, I get some clarity, and then there’s going to be a new level of it. So I have to understand that part of that process, how it works, how I’m being guided, and I follow the other pieces of this framework. So while I’m in confusion and while I’m waiting, I can find my way without going into my head. Some people, there’s just some things that you need to remember. I have a client, you know, she’s here to be the spark. She’s here to be the ignition for people. 

She’s not necessarily meant to take them the whole way. And it doesn’t mean she can’t. But I keep reminding her, I’m like, don’t feel like you’ve got to hold their hand forever. Don’t feel like, does that feel good to you? Is that what you want? She’s like, no, I actually feel much more comfortable with the, like, ignition, with the spark, with the, you know, with the short term, like, sprint of let’s break through that first glass ceiling. You’re like well great, let’s build an offer around that if that feels good to you. And she’s a manny gentleman. So I’m like we’re going to do it, we’re going to take some action and that’s going to give us more clarity. Like that’s your way. 

So your permission led vision gives you permission to be you to do it your way, not the way that everybody’s been telling you. And this is what I do in my business or purpose readings which are the same reading largely it’s just one is geared more toward a business aspect. And if it’s purpose I just, I structure it a little bit differently but the same level of depth just with a different goal. But the my business purpose readings, this is what we’re doing. We’re giving you a purpose led vision and then I’m taking you through your chart and this is sort of the fourth and the fifth step is all rolled into those business readings. I’m going to take you through your soul aligned gifts. I’m going to help you unlock them. 

I’m going to help you understand what the frequency band is of all of them and I’m going to give you a purpose led vision. We’re going to, I’m going to illuminate you into that path and what it could look like for you and what does it look like going forward. It is a really big crash course in self discovery. Those really in depth readings that I do with people and I give them a huge report with it and all that so that they can continue to integrate and understand what all of this stuff means and they can start to embody it. So this is the roadmap, those five steps. This is the roadmap that I’m always creating with my clients to get them to operate differently. This is what we take you through in business by design. 

That’s what all the coursework is taking you through. All of this understanding of your design, taking you through your shadows, taking you through, you know, we have the deconditioning library allowing you to deeper decondition. It’s the same thing. But here’s the biggest challenge that I see with people and this why I see it take a long time, why I see it maybe people stumble and not continue in a seamless fashion with this which is where I see people struggle. I kind of have three parts to this. So one part is, you know, this is mostly unconscious stuff that we’re going to Be turning around. So the awareness journey is long. But because coming off autopilot is hard, not everybody knows they’re on autopilot in all these ways. There’s a lot to be aware of. So we have to work piece by piece. 

And some people, I think, maybe wrongly think that this is gonna be a big bang and it’s like, oh, I’m gonna know this stuff and it’s gonna change. But a lot of times they don’t even know what to look out for, cuz they are unconscious to it. We bring awareness to what the not self theme is. But even my private clients, even the people that I’m working with so closely, private clients, obviously they have a greater connection to me because they have Voxer with me. They can send me a message anytime, anywhere, from anywhere, and be like, this is what’s going on, what’s happening. But even them knowing to ask me the question takes a little bit of work, takes us a little bit of time in our relationship to get to where I’m like checking in on you. 

I want to see how you’re going with this. I want to see how this is happening. I want to, you know, check in with me. And what I can hear from them is I’ll catch them in things that they don’t even know is shadow. They don’t even know is misaligned action. I’ll say, you know, you’re Manny, Jen, and I have to remind them of these things. And they’re like, oh, thank you for reminding me of that. It’s hard. Like I said, it’s difficult to read the label from inside the bottle. So it helps to have an outside perspective. It helps to have somebody there who can say, who can see it for you and say, I just saw you doing this. Can we come back and let’s talk about what that could look like. 

Or I can ask great questions that help them deepen their understanding or move through this differently. Right. The second piece of the challenge is that deeper deconditioning work can be extensive and multilayered depending on the person. I have a client right now, she’s in business by design, and she was saying, yesterday we had a messaging call. I do these VIP messaging calls with them where once they do the messaging work inside our program, they can have a private call with me. If you’re in tier three of the program, they can have a private call with me and I break the messaging down with them and we start to work it and it’s A working session where it’s like, okay, let’s get you to what I call your core arguments of your message. 

And were working through it, and she’s like, I feel like such a late bloomer because I’m here and it took me over a year to get here, but I feel so energized. I feel so like, oh, my God, this is like happening. She launched her podcast. There’s all this stuff going on, and it’s going really well. And I said, I was like, you know, well, first of all, you’re always right on time. But there’s sometimes the deeper deconditioning work. And she’s somebody who teaches this stuff. She’s an intuitive and she does human design and she does astrology, so she knows this stuff. But she had to be in an environment that kind of forced her to change a little bit and forced her to look at these things. 

Because being there, out there in the world by yourself, there’s not the boundaries, there’s not the structure that is created for you to change. But having some place where she had to come back every week and check in, but for a while she didn’t. She drifted away a little bit. She had to do some of her own searching and. But then she came back and she was like, I’m back and I’m ready, and you have to give yourself space for that. But I do notice that, you know, the deeper deconditioning work can be really multilayered, and sometimes people can get frustrated with that and they feel like, again, it should be. It should be faster, maybe. It could be. Some people have more baggage that they walk into this work with, and very few had a lot of control over that baggage. 

Things that happened to them, they had things in their childhood, they. They were abused. You know, there’s real trauma there. Give yourself some grace and don’t compare yourself to anybody else because you have no idea what their life has been like. It might have been easier, it might have been more loving in some ways where they just didn’t have the same hurdles as you. I guarantee you they have their own, but they don’t have the same ones as you. So when you see them moving faster, then you don’t get discouraged. But that is something that I see, and then I see that the third thing is that real life gets in the way. There’s all these things that are kind of pulling us away. It’s like we have to stay hyper focused on our behavior and on our thoughts. 

And all of these things that are going on, we need to be doing that deconditioning work. But then we also have to live these real lives with real responsibilities that take you out of the work. And sometimes they give you excuses. I can’t do this. I can’t be in alignment because I have my job and I hate it. I can’t do this. And I can’t be in alignment because I’m not getting any clients. So now it’s pushing me into survival mode. I can’t. You know, there’s just all of these things, these excuses for why you can’t do what’s aligned. And I get that we have to kind of work on. I always say, like, you know, don’t aim for being a hundred percent aligned all the time because you’ll feel like a failure. 

Can you get to 70% or 70% of the time you are doing the things that you’re supposed to do and 30% maybe is how much you are conforming. And you’re doing that from a conscious place, you’re choosing to do it. But it’s hard. So I’m always asking myself, how can I get people more mind blowing results and get them those results faster? Right. I’m always racking my brain for how I can do this. How can I deepen the connection that we have? How can we get people results faster? So I tried to do things like this, breaking it down into frameworks where it’s like, okay, well what if I break it down this way? Do you hear it differently this time? This is where my business readings came from. It was like, how can I make you go faster? 

So I saw so many people like exploring their design for so long and they had these questions where they were like, oh, I still don’t understand this. And it was like, well, what if I took the I need to understand this thing out of the way right away? What if I gave you this reading where I kind of took you through the most important parts of your chart so you didn’t have that question anymore. Can we erase that? And we are, we fast forward you several months by doing that. But it’s is great, but I want faster. My one to one sessions Within Business by Design, the group program that came from this. I was like, okay, what if I do these one to one sessions and we’re speeding them up. Crystal did her messaging call. It was like, okay. 

A lot of people get stuck in the messaging part, always feeling like they’ve got to figure out their message. What If I had a session with you where we fast tracked that and then my Ascend one to one private coaching package, this came. This is sessions and integration coaching that’s on demand through Voxer. So we have live sessions that I do privately with somebody where we go into your stuff and then we are doing on demand voxer coaching where people can message me whenever they want about whatever they want. There’s nothing that is off limits. You want to talk to me about your sex life. You want to talk to me about, you know, problems that you’re having with your kids, that’s fine. You want to talk to me about your business, all on the table, because it’s all connected. 

But I wanted to go even deeper. That package is really amazing. The Ascend one to one private coaching is really amazing because we combine the readings with the sessions and then the Voxer coaching and it’s really a360 and we have it over a longer term period so that there’s integration for a while. But now I wanted to go even deeper. I wanted to do full immersion. I started asking myself what would happen if I had more time with people. I can do so much in a one hour session with somebody, but I always wish that there was more. What if we could keep going? What if I could keep you in the energy of a private coaching session longer? And I asked myself, I’m like, what if I combined private coaching with like a retreat and the integration support? 

What would that even look like? And I was like, what if I could take you out of your daily life for two days, curate an experience that’s tailored to you and your design, where you get to experience this entire embodiment plan over the course of like two days with me, where we take you out of your everyday life, where you don’t have those excuses anymore, where you don’t have to pay attention yourself. I’m watching you. I’m seeing you. We are in such deep connection that we can go into those deeper aspects so that we can do guided EFT breath work or NLP sessions for deeper deconditioning. And I can notice things that maybe you can’t see because you’re inside the bottle. And then there’s specialty experiences. And I got very excited about this. 

And if you have a business, we could work on your messaging, your funnels, your podcast in focused sessions. I really get a lot done in those two days. So what I created, I actually am very excited about something. I created these private retreats here in Austin. So if this sounds good to you, if having that level of support where we can go so deep for such an extended period of time. And it isn’t just that this is, there’s a pre call session with these retreats so we have a private session before the retreat so that we get to know each other and I have an understanding. There’s a questionnaire of course that you fill out where I get deeper and more information that I can refer to. 

It’s a two day immersive retreat here in Austin and one month of voxer integration with me after. This is completely tailored to you. I was like oh, I could do a regular retreat but a regular retreat then has to be curated for a group. And I really wanted to start with these cuz I’m like I want that one to one. I want it to just be focused on you where it’s like what are we working on? 

Cuz someone might come to a retreat and they’re like I really want to focus on business and some people might be like I really want to focus on family, I really want to focus on my relationships and I love that I can do that in my one to one work and I can shift because human design is so multifaceted and can be applied in so many areas. I didn’t want to lose that. So this first set of retreats, I’ve never done a group retreat. I wanted them to be private. So this is what we’re doing. They’re completely tailored to you as an individual, to your design, your story, your interests and your goals. This will be your own private retreat that I basically curate just for you. 

And because of the nature of this is, you know, this is a lot of my time and my energy where I’m completely focused on you. I won’t be doing anything else those days. I will just be with you and curating those experiences for you. And this is something that we’re going to start doing right away and you don’t have to worry about timing because we would schedule it when it works for both of our schedules. So if you are interested in applying for this because there is an application, just DM me the word retreat on Instagram. I’m icoleno official and I do want to say this is a five figure investment. This is a private retreat with accommodations included and all of that. 

So just so you understand what level of investment this is because this is a very high touch, high level type offer. Just wanted you to be to understand that if you do apply but if you’re interested DM me the word retreat on Instagram. I’m icoleno official. We’ll get you set up there with the application and then we’ll set you up with a call if you qualify. Or go to nicolelaino.com retreat and you can grab the form right there. I hope to see you. These are very exciting to me. I get very excited about what we could create together and all the expansion that we could create in that I know what I can do with somebody even in a one hour session, how much I can get done. 

To apply for the Exclusive Private 2-Day Retreat experience with Nicole please DM “Retreat” to @nicolelainoofficial on Instagram or click the link https://nicolelaino.com/retreat

It makes me very excited to think what I can do with somebody over two days plus a pre call and then a month of voxer. I’m like on fire about this. I hope that you’re excited about it too. I hope that you apply. I appreciate you. I hope that you found this episode valuable no matter what, whether you decide to apply or not. I hope that this framework helped you see how you can create your own embodiment plan. And I appreciate you. Remember, in order to have an unshakable business, you must first become an unshakeable human. So thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with human design. We’ll see you next time.