Nicole Laino (00:30)
Hello and welcome to Unshakable with Human Design. I’m your host, Nicole Laino and it’s just us today. I wonder if you ever thought about this. I feel like most entrepreneurs have. This is gonna be a very entrepreneur-focused episode. Most entrepreneurs have at some point realized that entrepreneurship is like the ultimate personal development school. You cannot succeed in this arena without diving into yourself.

And into the things that make you tick and into what keeps you stuck. It’s gonna require you to walk through and heal your wounds at every turn. No matter what type of business you have, you are going to face yourself at every new level. Because what happens is you only have two choices when you go to take action in your business and you can’t bring yourself to do it. Or

You want to reach a certain level and you’re wondering why it’s not happening. You have two choices. One is make excuses and avoid whatever it is that is put in front of you, which is going to keep you plateaued. That’s going to keep you stuck. You’re not going to expand and grow and reach a next level if you’re avoiding the things you need to do or the things you need to face in order to get to that level. And the other option is.

Face it, you have to deal with what’s in front of you. You have to deal with the fact that this is really hard. Sometimes it’s learning a skill, but more often than not, after enough time, you’re gonna find that you’ve accumulated and developed most of the skills that you need. And then the only other skill that’s necessary is the skill to be able to find your areas where you are holding yourself back.

And move beyond them. I see this so much in my work. first of a lot of people will come into my world because they think human design gives them a third option, like a magic pill. Let me spare you the suspense. It does not.

Human design doesn’t give you a third option. It may give you a different way to face the thing you’re facing, or show you another path to getting what you want, to getting through to the thing that you need to do. So human design might tell you that you’re actually not in response. So that’s how you can get into action and you don’t have to fight yourself. It can show you.

How doing something that maybe doesn’t make sense linearly is actually the way that you can overcome yourself in this. So it can give you that, but it can’t remove these big things from you because you still have to face your conditioning. That’s still the biggest part of human design. And while, yes, human design can tell you all these things about how you can unlock your voice and who you’re meant to serve, all of those things are true. It’s all true.

But it still requires you to meet yourself and to deal with the fact that you are not operating in alignment with your design, and that is what you have to confront. Because if you could change it, you would. But most people can’t, which is what deconditioning is. It’s about facing the parts of yourself that are keeping you from being the best version of yourself. So in this episode, what I want to talk about.

Is one of the biggest challenges I see with entrepreneurs, which is being visible. Now, we’re not going to talk about it the way that you think, because I’m going to break down what visibility actually means, and it’s not what you think. How the visibility wound, as I call it, gets in the way of everything that we want as an entrepreneur, not just the things that you think it gets in the way of.

Why it’s very prevalent with spiritual entrepreneurs in particular. So people in the spiritual space, if you are a facilitator of some kind, if you teach something like human design or energy work or Reiki or stuff like that, this is rampant in this community. And then I’m gonna share a story of a client in BBD who recently overcame a little visibility hump in her journey in my own experience and experiment with this. And of course.

We’ll tie it all up with the role human design plays in this whole thing. Okay? Before we jump into it, I do want to let you know that I am teaching a new masterclass called the New Era Expert on September 14th. So if you’re listening to this anytime before September 18th, you can still catch up with us. You can still jump in. But if you are listening to this before the 14th, you can get in before all the fun

starts.

And all you have to do to register is just go to Instagram, DM me the word masterclass. I’m at Nicole Laino Official. We’ll register you right there in the DMs. Or if you just wanna hop on over to the website, you could do that. It’s in the show notes, but you can also just go to Nicole Laino.com forward slash masterclass and you can register right there on the website, make it easy for you. But that masterclass, We’re gonna discuss the tangible

structural and strategic things we need to do to make money, but how in this new era, especially with the 2027 change happening, with all of these astrological shifts that we are facing, the changes that we’re seeing in the world and in social media and all of these things that we are experiencing right now, how we have to meet that with a new level of energy. And how do we do that? How do we keep doing the things that we need to do from a new level of ourselves, from a new level of expansion?

From a new level of vulnerability, from a new level of responsibility, because your mission requires you to get out there and tell people about it or somehow interact with the rest of the world. You have to put your purpose out there. It doesn’t just show up on your doorstep. Okay? So that’s what we’re gonna cover today. I hope that that sounds fun and interesting to you. but let’s just start with.

Talking about like what we think visibility is, because I’m sure you have an idea of what visibility is. You have something in your head. When you saw the title of this episode, you might have been like, Nicole, this visibility thing. We’re just gonna talk about posting on Instagram and promoting ourselves and all of that. No, that’s not what visibility actually is to me. I mean that’s part of it, but it’s not the whole thing.

And the reason that it’s not that to me is because there are many people who are quote unquote visible who are not authentically visible. And then there’s also being effectively visible. We have authentically visible and effectively visible. And you need to be both of those things if you want this whole business thing to work, right? So what visibility really is, yes, it’s being

out.

There and putting it out there, but we have to share our beliefs. We have to share our heart. We have to dare to be vulnerable. Dare to really be heard because it’s very easy to imitate the rest of the world and do what everybody else is doing. Steal a template and morph it into something that sort of sounds like you, but you probably don’t get results when you do that. It doesn’t feel good.

And you’re not getting that magical reaction that other people seem to be getting. And that’s because you’re not in it. That’s not what you are here to do. That’s not your true heart. That’s not you being visible. You’re not letting people see you. That’s what visibility really is: daring to really be seen.

So that is being seen in the rooms that you are physically in. That is taking up space with yourself, with your message, with your mission.

not being visible gets in the way of so many things. not being visible gets in the way of almost everything that you want as an entrepreneur. If you want to speak on stages, you have to put yourself out there. You have to grow your brand. No one’s gonna put you on their

stage.

When they haven’t heard you speak.

Nobody is going to take a chance on you because those people sold tickets to people who trust them. They need to know that the people that they put on that stage can hold it down. Now you might be sitting there being like, I know I can hold it down, Nicole. I know how awesome I am. Because I will say this 90% of the people that I talk to who come into my programs, who I talk to at events, people who would be great fits for business by design.

When I ask them what their goals are and what they want to do, you know, what’s on their list of goals? Speak on stages is always there. Whenever I go to speaking engagements or if I’m an attendee at an event. A lot of times people will ask, you know, who here wants to speak on stages? And you see like most of the room’s hands go up. Most people wanna be up there.

But they don’t want to do the work to get up there. And the work to get up there, knowing that you are good enough, is not enough. Because if you really believed you were good enough, you would show the world. I understand this, I am not a not confident person. I don’t walk around wondering if I’m good enough for everything.

But to say there isn’t a part of me that when I walk into certain places or I want certain things, I wonder, am I good enough for that?

Am I good enough to be up there? And that’s the scariest part because you have to work to get to that next level. If you want to get the right type of client, if you want dream clients, you have to share authentically what you do and how you see the world. Or the vibration is off, the frequency is off. You’re not attracting people, you’re just talking.

And people don’t really respond to that. I see a lot of people looking for the formula with human design for me to tell them what gate will make all of this work. And I’m like, it’s not the gate, it’s you embodying it. It’s you embodying all of this. You have to dare to share what you want to share. I know you have things you want to say and you’re not saying them.

use the gate for what it’s for. Human design gates, human design elements, what that is for, what the purpose that they serve, how you actually work with them, is they are a line of inquiry into your gifts and your struggles. You’ll see that I have this happen all the time with people, where I’ll do a reading or I’ll talk to them about their design.

And they’re like, right, what do I do with that? What do I do with that? What do I do with that? Because they’re still in their head. And I’m like, well, you embody it. Well, how do I do that? Well, let’s talk about the shadow and let’s talk about how you’re there. And let’s talk about how that is keeping you from being the person you’re meant to be, from you being fully seen in this world. Talk to me about how you’re not sharing, and I’ll show you where it is in your chart, and we’ll figure out a path for how you work with that.

That’s how it works.

But what not being visible is so much more than just not posting on Instagram.

Not being picked, you know, if you feel that way, I know that that is a very big projector thing for them to feel like they’re not being picked. but it’s not exclusive to them. I have felt like I’m not being picked before. I’m better than that person. Why aren’t I getting picked? Well, wasn’t really showing up in the places where the pickers were watching.

And if I really looked at why I wasn’t showing up in those places, yeah, it’s because they made me a little uncomfortable. Because I didn’t feel like I could say what I needed to say there.

Is that the place’s fault or is that my fault? Or is it just a place that’s not right for me and those things aren’t right for me? Could be.

But for me, where I have gotten in this school of entrepreneurship of forced growth, if you want to have a business, is that when something scares me, then that is sort of a clue. If I resist something, then there’s sort of a clue that there’s something for me to work on in there. There’s something. Now, maybe it’s not something I will do forever, but it’s an experience I probably need to have so that I can work through whatever.

Resistance there is because resistance is a sign that something in you is not expanded. You’re contracted in some way. And the only way we can really get through that is by doing something. It often is not about studying or healing or stuff like that. We do those in tandem with the doing. Because you could heal all you want, but if you’re still not moving,

then

There’s a very strong sign that you are still dealing with something. And sometimes we need to move something just with action. We have to accept that this is as healed as it’s going to get for now. And we’re just going to have to put this thing out there. We’re just going to have to move because it’s the action that will show us where the resistance is again, where the contraction is. So then we can learn to expand in that way.

But everything that you truly want, the money, the recognition, all of it, it’s all on the other side of authentic and correct visibility. Now, there’s one caveat that I have to this before I move on and share some of the examples. you also need to know how to sell if you want to make money. But we have to get over the fear first. So what some people can do is they’re waiting for the content to be perfect.

before they go and put it out there. And I’m like, just let it be true first. Let’s worry about just getting it out there. Let’s get over some of the, you know, how do I do this? Will this be any good? Let’s get over some of those general fears. Will people cancel me? Will everybody hate me? Let’s get over some of that. We have to prove you won’t die. Right? My best performance as an actor was not my first one, but my first one

allowed me to have better ones because it got me over the fear of stepping on the stage in the first place. Will I forget my lines? Will I know what to do? Will I bomb? Will everybody hate me? Will my castmates hate me? all of those fears that we have when we try something, we put ourselves out there, we have to prove to ourselves that even if one of those happens, you either can handle it or you didn’t die.

That’s the big thing. I didn’t die. So we need to get you to that point where you don’t die. You realize I will not die if this post bombs. Right? And you have to become strong enough in yourself where even if something horrible did happen, I can handle it.

So that’s my little caveat there. you have to know how to sell in order to make money, meaning you need to know the type of content that you put out there and the way that you put it out there so that it ties to something that you want people to do. If we just have content that feels nice, then it often doesn’t convert.

‘Cause it’s not that type of content. We’re not asking them to do anything and we haven’t really figured out how to tie what we do with what we sell. And that’s a necessary skill. But that’s a completely separate episode. That’s a completely separate thing. We will talk about that in the master class though. So please come because I will go through all of this. I just can’t do it all in one episode here. But we will be doing it in the New Era Expert. So please come.

But now I wanted to share a little bit of a story, my story, a client’s story, just some specifics around this so you see how this works. So one of my clients, she had a level of comfort with a certain type of visibility. She worked with business clients, mainly promoting on LinkedIn. She did really well over there. She is no shrinking violet by any means. She wrote a book, she’s got a lot going on. And she’s incredibly

talented.

She’s a beautiful woman, like there, she has everything going for her. And you would never look at her and think she’s scared of anything because she’s done so much and she shows up with a lot of presence. Yeah. So, but she shifted to a more spiritual modality. she’s crossing over into the woo world. And that gave her a bit of anxiety.

She is afraid of putting that out, particularly on LinkedIn. And she had some crunchiness around it. And I remember asking her, why won’t you put it up there? if I asked you right now, what do you feel is holding you back? And she said, I don’t want to be noise.

And I said, Well, that’s simple. Don’t be noise.

Say what you mean. You know that what you have to say, that what you have to share, is not in any way noise.

What are you really afraid of? And to her, she was like, I’m well, I’m afraid, you know, people won’t get it. I’m like, that’s not noise. That’s just the wrong people matching up with your message. It will not be noise to the people who need to hear it.

And like I said, she’s a very powerful, self-actualized, really accomplished, smart woman. So she got moving. And I showed her her chart to it. I was like, you are not meant to be silent. You are not meant to be, on the sidelines here. And, what’s great though.

Is she overcame it and she did put it out there and she did get a great response? But where does this even come from? How does somebody who is so powerful, how does somebody like her who’s super confident, who is super accomplished, how do they end up feeling like they’re not going to be accepted out there? Or if they put themselves fully out there?

It won’t be received well. Well, a visibility wound is often connected to our sense of enoughness. It can be from a critical parent. It can be from an abusive ex. It could be from not being picked on the soccer field as a kid like me, or being bullied. it could be something that happened recently, it could be something that happened in your childhood.

This is why the work is never just, you know, like, well, your human design says that you have the channel of charisma. So you just need to be in response. And that’s part of it. That’s part of it. But what happens when I tell you that you’re in response, so go do the thing, and you’re like, but I can’t, because I’m scared. I could tell you to get over it, but not everybody is capable of getting over it like that. Not everybody is able to just go, like, okay, cool, I’ll stop doing the thing.

That is protecting me from experiencing a trauma that’s obviously buried deep within me. Right? It doesn’t. Human design, what it does is it reminds you that you are bigger than all of this, that your purpose is bigger. But ultimately, you have to decondition the lies and the traumas and take meaningful steps toward the other side of your wound. You know, and I’m proud to say.

That my clients slay their dragons. They take action and they get met with sales and warm reception and they end up changing as humans. And it’s not because they put a post on Instagram. It’s because they’re not afraid to be seen anymore.

Instagram, Substack, a podcast, whatever it is. that’s not the important piece. Who cares? But you’re able to walk into any room you walk into now, proudly being who you are, because you’re not afraid of being seen. Because the wound is healed. And the wound, you think that it’s just causing a problem with you being visible online. It’s not. It’s causing a problem with other.

things, your worthiness seeps into everything. It seeps into your charging, what you feel like you can charge for, how confidently you pitch your services, how confidently you pitch yourself to things like podcasts and to be on stages and all of that stuff.

People pleasing comes from not being able to be seen fully. People pleasing is just a way of appeasing the fact that you feel like you’re not enough and you need to make up for it.

this podcast was a step for me in overcoming my visibility wound six years ago. And the consistency of showing up, of putting myself out there, of finding my voice healed a lot of those wounds and it has allowed me to build this business into what it is without doing that work, without taking the action that I’ve taken.

I wouldn’t be here right now talking to you. I wouldn’t live the life that I live and have the freedom that I have without me overcoming these issues. Because they stood in my way for years and they still creep up. There’s more I could say, there’s more I could do. And my next level requires me to expand in this way. And that’s why deconditioning

Is a practice. Expansion is a practice. It’s not something you do once. It’s not something you, journal for 30 days and you’re fixed. No, you journal for 30 days and you break through something, and then there’ll be another block in your way. There’ll be another challenge, another level.

My joke is you always hear that saying, New level, new devil. To me, it’s not really. It’s new level, same devil. Just the devil’s wearing different clothes. The devil is in a different relationship to you. So my visibility wound, my not getting picked on the soccer field, my getting bullied as a kid.

Me not feeling like I fit in at my school my whole life pretty much until like the end of high school. at my first stages of business, it was all over the business. I god, it was so hard for me to overcome. And then I took steps and I slayed that dragon and I slayed it and I slayed it and I slayed it, but it’s still the same little girl.

In me that I have to comfort. She’s just not as traumatized as she used to be. We have been through a lot together. She trusts me more. So when I say it now, so when I’m looking at this next level that I’m going into, I can look at her and I’m like, I’m gonna ask you to be brave with me again. Because this is what’s required of us now. So we have to overcome some of these things. And it’s crunchy.

Some stuff is not easy. It takes me longer than I want it to. It’s very frustrating. I don’t enjoy it. And thankfully my human design helps me get around some of that logistical stuff of when I’m frustrated, working with my energy rather than just pushing through.

But wow, is it harder to stay present with my human design when I’m triggered like that? When I’m in my not self. I have to have presence to know that. Like, nope, this is not how you’re gonna get out of this, Nicole. You need to go and move your body. You need to go and be in response to something. You need to, you need to shake it up a little bit. You’ve been sitting here too long. That’s presence. but expansion is a practice.

And this is what it means to be a new era expert, someone who leads with their voice, with their authenticity, with their authority and their gifts. If you want to be seen as a thought leader, you’re going to have to put out your real thoughts.

To grow your business, to get the opportunities you deserve. I want you to speak on stages. I want you to be seen as a thought leader. I want you to grow your following and change lives with your work. It is all available to you. You just have to choose. And a great way to start is by coming to the New Era Expert Masterclass so that I can lay the whole thing out for you.

The energetic side, the changes that we’re going to be going through, what leadership looks like in the future from a human design perspective, how you can use your design to fortify yourself and grow and understand what you’re really here for. And then the sales and marketing systems behind you actually getting seen in a way that gets you paid. And that also sheds all of those old layers. If you’d like to join me for that, it is free. All you have to do.

is DM me the word masterclass on Instagram. I’m at Nicole Laino Official or go to Nicole Laino.com / masterclass and you can register on the website. All of it’s linked up for you in the show notes. Thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you. And remember, in order to have an unshakable business, you must first become an unshakable human. So thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with human design. We will see you next time.