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Episode #96 Human Design: How to Decondition

From birth, we are all conditioned to believe certain things about ourselves. Whether it’s by our parents, our friends, ourselves, or society at large, expectations and beliefs are put upon us and often begin to feel like they are absolute and unchangeable facts. Human Design teaches us about the process of deconditioning, where we consciously let go of the conditioning that was put upon us and take conscious action to align with who we truly are. On this week’s episode Nicole is teaching us more about deconditioning and sharing with us three strategies that she uses (and you can, too) to consciously decondition in her day to day life.


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Hello and welcome to the limitless entrepreneur podcast. I’m your host, Nicole Laino. And today we are talking about this is a topic that comes up a lot people ask this. This is a word that gets thrown around a lot certainly in the Human Design circles, but it’s also it’s a mindset topic as well. So I want to show you how because I blend everything Human Design is a tool that I use to help people master themselves master their energy, master their productivity, step into a greater sense of who they are. I would say love the shit out of yourself. But, but to no longer play small to have the courage to play big in your life and this is a word in the Human Design circles that gets thrown around a lot. And it I don’t think that there’s a ton of context around it. I think there’s a bit of mystery around it, and we’re going to demystify it a little bit today. So we’re talking about deconditioning. So if you’ve been hearing you might have heard me say it deconditioning How do you decondition yourself because what does deconditioning even mean? I think that that we might get a little bit of an idea about you can kind of say like you have been conditioned, but there’s such a negative connotation with it. There is such a negative connotation with being conditioned like it’s this thing that happened to you. And there’s maybe nothing you can do about it that there’s there’s a bit of victimization, I think that comes with the term conditioned or deconditioning needing to decondition and so so what is deconditioning really, or what is conditioning. So conditioning is really just, it’s the way that you were taught to be so this is where it ties very closely into mindset ties very closely into all of the work that I’ve done before I found human design and human design just allowed me to turn it up and have a map for each person. That I worked with to say, Oh, this is what we should do for you. And this is something different that we should do for you because you’re designed differently because even in the way we coach with all of the beautiful motivation behind coaching and wanting to help people, we could actually be conditioning them because we’re telling them it’s all the ways that you were told you needed to be you should be you should do these things. If you can’t do them, something’s wrong with you. If you can’t do them, you better fix it. In order to be successful. You must be this and or we just look out in the world and we see what’s modeled for us and we say I admire that person. I want to be like them. So you start doing things their way or you start trying to model their behavior. You read books, and you say, Oh, well I read this book that Tony Robbins wrote and I’m gonna now I’m going to try to do it the Tony Robbins way or I did it this person’s way. And now there’s all these methods out there which are wonderful. They’re beautiful, for ways of tapping into yourself potentially, and into what works for you. But we get conditioned when we think that that’s the only way. We can become very rigid with it. And that’s really what deconditioning is, is knowing what the truth is. Recognizing that we are often very focused on the outside world. We’re focused on the results that we’re getting. We’re focused on the things that we’re doing what we were told to do, what we think will make us successful, and we don’t tune in and we end up running on autopilot and the autopilot was not really set by us. It wasn’t calibrated by us. For us. It was calibrated by our family. It was calibrated by our schooling. It was calibrated by our friends and how they treated us growing up. It was calibrated by the job that we got outside of school. It was calibrated by our time in college calibrated by all these things by all these experiences that we have. And that causes us that’s the programming, right? So conditioning is your programming. So the question is how do we decondition and what I’m going to share with you in this episode is is three of my favorite tools or ways that I go about the deconditioning process. Now if you go back to traditional human design, they’ll tell you that it takes like seven years to decondition because that’s when the cellular turnover happens that most of ourselves, not all of them, but most of our cells will regenerate and completely turn over almost like a new crop every seven years. So to get everything out of your cellular memory can take seven years so that’s where the deconditioning set of seven years comes from. You can move a whole lot faster than that. I’m not saying that at the seven year mark. I can see it I see it at times I see that with certainly with other modalities that I use that there is there’s a surface level of deconditioning of surface level of healing that happens. And then it gets deeper and gets deeper and gets deeper. And that’s true embodiment. That’s when we go from knowledge and and being consciously aware of something, consciously changing things, making changes in our lives that that start to feel really good right away, usually. Sometimes they feel really bad but right away. And then as you go through life, they stop being something you have to be consciously aware of doing, consciously aware of changing, and they just become who you are. They just become part of your being. So that’s kind of how I look at the seven year process of deconditioning. And going through all of that there’s like these, these drop in points where it’s like okay, I get it. I’m working at this and working at it. I’m working at it. I’m working at it. Now that’s just a new level of of who I am. I’m working at the next level I’m working at the next level. I’m working at the next level. Now I’ve just dropped into that level. And now that’s just the way that I am. We see that with when I do Peak Performance Training with people where we do visit visualizations. We are creating a new version of them. And that is a deliberate process for a while of clearing out the old ways, deconditioning the old ways of thinking, aligning to something new, visualizing, really filling out with the identity of that next level version of themselves looks like. And there’s this process that we’re going through where it’s very active work deconditioning clearing out and then aligning to something new and and really attaching the identity to that changing who we believe we are. And that is a deliberate process for a while and then it just it’s like oh no, I’m just this way. I’m no longer attached to those old ways. And I’ve made this new way of thinking my way of thinking. So here I am. New Me. Yay. And it’s a beautiful process and it’s something that I love seeing it because what’s so amazing and I have a few people in my in my group container right now who have gone through a lot of this work with me for a while. And like they they literally look different to me. Like they radiate this new life and glow. They are there. There’s just this. You can sense the power and the centering that happens when you no longer have to try to do it. When you just sort of settle into that next level, those beliefs that you were working so hard to change, the new ones are now your new beliefs, and they are serving you so everything gets easier. It’s this beautiful process. And I’ve just watched some of these people in my world, literally change before my eyes and start creating these amazing results and selling things and you know crying on our calls where they’re like I can’t believe it’s happening. I always believed it was possible, but I didn’t know if it was possible for me. And now here I am. And that’s the result of realigning who you are and doing new things that are aligned with that new version of you. So deconditioning is that act of shedding all of the old ways, everything that does not serve you. And now human design shows you exactly where you might be out of alignment. So it’s showing you and we look at it in so you decondition naturally by living in alignment in all ways. So we clear out those those old those old ways of feeling. So I’ll get into that with the tools that we use to get rid of these old ways. But when we talk about human design and living in alignment, a lot of this 90% of the work happens pretty naturally as you start to operate properly, operate correctly. And by correct it’s not about right and wrong. It’s about doing what is true for you rather than what’s in alignment with the conditioning. So the conditioning for a generator is I have the energy, so I’ll do it. I have the energy. It doesn’t matter if I want to do this thing if I desire it, if I’m excited about it. I’m just going to work and work and work. And I’m going to start my day looking down and being like what do I have to do today? And I just sit there and if I faced resistance, I’m just going to push through that is that’s a that’s conditioning for a generator. That’s incorrect for you, not because it’s wrong, but because it’s a lot harder than it needs to be. So the first step in living in alignment According to Human Design, and human design just gives you that map is the strategy. You use your energy properly. You use your energy properly according to your strategy which is aligned with the type that you are. So if you’re a generator, you’re going to be responding. If you’re a projector you’re going to wait for the invitation and that in and of itself is going to take care of a lot. Why? Because you’re not pushing energy out in a way that’s not connected to your strategy. So projectors, you’re not running around, chasing people and trying to tell them what you see and how much you know, and showing off for them or showing them how much you can help and then backing away and being like I didn’t really ask for your help. And you’re getting you’re getting bitter because nobody’s seeing how awesome you are and that wastes energy. It’s out of alignment. It’s not efficient is more how I like to look at it. You have efficient we have this your strategy tells you efficient ways to use your energy. And when you are inefficient, you leak energy and then you burn out, and you get pissed off and things don’t work. And life just generally is either met at best or it sucks or you have these moments of it working because you do you follow your strategy and authority by accident. And you wonder how can I do that? And then the conditioning for that is how did I do that? You try to figure it out and you think something’s wrong with you because you can’t recreate the good thing that you had once. This gives you the repeatable process to stay in alignment and use your energy in the most efficient and effective fashion. So the second thing that human design gives you is your authority. That’s your decision making mechanism. You make decisions from your intuition, not from your conditioning, which your head is conditioned, making a pros and cons list going through the historical data, all of that wonderful things to throw out there. But your ultimate decision is going to come from your true intuition. When you’re making decisions from that place. You can take in all of that data. It can be interesting for you, but ultimately the decision is made from the place of your greatest wisdom and that changes for each person. My authority is different than your authority. Probably maybe it’s the same could be I’m an emotional authority. 50% of the world is emotional authority. So good chance that you listening, maybe one but maybe you’re not maybe you’re a splenic authority, and your spleen is going to tell you so understanding how that works is part of how you decondition because the conditioning might be an emotional authority is I’ll use this as an example my conditioning would be all of the things online. All of the people who say big moves, make them and make them fast. If you when you know, you know, move. If you’re not moving, then you’re not sure then you’re not going to be successful. Then you’re letting opportunities pass you by and you are kind of the messaging around that. It’s like you’re a big loser if you’re not moving fast, right? Or people are demonstrating how they move fast. And maybe I’m looking at them. And I’m like wow, she’s really successful and she’s moving really fast. And I should move fast then because I see her doing it and she makes you know $100,000 a month and I want to make $100,000 a month so I guess I have to move fast to that’s completely out of alignment for me. That’s not how I make decisions. I can’t make a decision. Spur of the moment when I do even if it’s the right decision. It ends up being wrong, the energy that I bring to it is off. And I am out of my power by making a decision based on something that I think I should be or based on some way that I’ve seen someone else do it and I think I should be that way versus making the decision from a place of my true knowing. So your authority shifts you back to that. And then the other way that you you naturally decondition is being in a high expression of all of your centers. There are nine centers in the Human Design body graph. Each center has an alignment or misalignment theme your white centers are going to have greater probability of being conditioned. However, I want to be very clear. If you’re if you’re defined in places you can be very unhealthy in those centers as well. So understanding how to work with each center and knowing where you tend to veer off path where you tend to get stuck certain centers we get stuck in and they’re typically our open centers, but sometimes they’re not. If your emotional, your emotional center, you can be very conditioned because you don’t know how to ride that wave. Because the wave is happening all the time. So we can feel like a victim of it. Or we can feel really out of control. And it’s true. We don’t have control over our wave. But we can be in control and in our power of our lives. It does not have to mean that we are not in our power. So I want to get into some of the tools. So that’s strategy authority and a high expression of each of your centers is a natural way to decondition if you’re doing that, if you are like I’m following my strategy and authority. I am I’m paying attention I know what centers I have defined. I know which ones I have open. I know what the high expression of each of those should feel like. I am noticing when I fall into a shadow pattern of one of those places a low frequency of one of those and we can get really really fine tuned a lot of people will start diving into like each gates energy and each channels energy and that trust me that is fascinating and can be very valuable when working. I do suggest working with a human design, coach, analyst, whatever word you want to put on there someone who’s a professional in human design to dive into that, because it can get you can get lost in that noise, particularly if you have an open head center or an open ajna center. Boy do you love to consume information. So diving into all of that that rabbit hole of all the gates and the channels and all of that stuff. It might feel really good in the moment, but is it really serving you? Or is it just a way for you to not be following the strategy and authority and being in alignment and all of your centers? Is it your way of distracting yourself? This is what I mean about alignment. This is what I mean about this is it’s an experiment. You try it. It’s not about the knowledge it’s about the training. But there are tools that you can use to stay in alignment to have greater power over yourself so that you are making progress in alignment the entire time which means that you are naturally deconditioning Okay, every moment you go into your head and you try to explain why something is happening and you get lost in that space, you’re falling into a conditioning pattern. Okay, so these are my three favorite tools to decondition and to to work with this process, outside of following strategy authority and being in a high expression of all of your centers. So the first one is the your awareness, your awareness of seeing yourself for who you are. So do you understand your body graph? Are you going beyond things like these podcasts where you’re understanding things at a high level, but you’re not really understanding necessarily how your energy with the combination of all of the centers and the channels and the type and the authority and all the things are working together? So you can as as I put it, so you can love the shit out of yourself. How you can see yourself and live out of your power, your greatest power, not out of your conditioning. Are you seeing all of that and the easiest way to do that the best tool that you can do is to get a reading a human design reading or someone walks you through all of this. And if you’ve done a lot of this work, where you’ve listened to the podcast, you read the books and stuff, come with your questions to that reading and say these are the things that I’m curious about. These are the things that don’t make sense to me. These are the things I want to go deeper into and work with your reader whether you could book one with me or you can go out there and find somebody else. You know that that’s that’s irrelevant to me. Whatever is the right step for you on your on the next step for your journey. But the reading is is transformational. When when you hear it broken down and the map of you is is described and get you get that walk through. It is both revealing and validating and that in and of itself is an activation of you shifting into your power and away from your conditioning. So that’s one the second tool are somatic tools. So somatic tools, nervous system regulation. If you don’t know how to regulate your nervous system, then you’re just naturally going to fall back into conditioning patterns. Some of my favorite tools are breathwork and a grounding practice of some kind. These are so breathwork is one of the things where that will that that is also a can be a grounding practice as well, but it’s a great way to clear your energy. It’s a great way to quiet the noise. It’s a beautiful way of clearing the body and regulating your nervous system. So it stops that noise, the chatter in your head. The feeling of unease in your body can really be balanced through breathwork. That’s a beautiful, beautiful practice. And then the third one is EFT tapping this tool it has been transformational in my life and certainly in the lives of my clients. Because we have beliefs we have we have ways of and this is where I think human design can sometimes be a little bit vague and maybe dismissive of how deep some of these wounds can be and how deep some of the conditioning can be. Where you’re not able to follow your strategy and authority because there’s there’s trauma there and I mean that small t n and big T trauma. You know, trauma can be you know, kids were mean to you in school. It could be it could be that you got up on stage and you choked, and it was this traumatic experience for you. Any of those things can be trauma. So EFT releases the emotional hold that experiences have on us and experiences in in my experience as an EFT practitioner. Is that a belief that has an emotional charge to it cannot truly be changed until you heal the emotional connection that’s there or sever that emotional connection. So you can’t change the belief that or or the feeling or the conditioning around your your ability to step up your ability to be heard your ability to communicate what you think you can’t change the you can’t change the belief that people don’t support you until you deal with the feeling underneath why that hurts so badly that people didn’t support you. It will keep coming back. And that usually causes further conditioning because you’re not dealing with the emotion and you’re doing all the work and you’re trying to affirm things and you’re trying to like live in a higher expression and all of this stuff. But the truth is, is that and then and then you start getting mad at yourself that that’s not working. And you wonder why you’re doing all this work and you’re not seeing the results and it’s not getting better and you still don’t believe that people support you. Well, are you doing the emotional side? Are you doing the emotional side and all of these things work in tandem? We’re turning the dial up on the frequency of each center on the frequency of each belief on the frequency of of of who we are. But we are also doing the work to release the emotional connection and the emotional pain that is there connecting these beliefs to us. It’s how we are being shown these. The emotional connection is the charge. That’s why you keep having these repeat experiences where you feel like the same things keep happening to you over and over again. It’s why you can’t manifest what you want. You can’t believe and raise your level of awareness. And when people tell you to raise your frequency around money, like a belief around money that might be because you have feelings about money, that money isn’t safe. Maybe you have deep shame around money because you lost a lot of money or you spent it irresponsibly. If you’ve made you feel terrible about it. That will always be there until you deal with that fully feel it. Forgive yourself for it. And then you can turn that dial up and raise the frequency of your feelings and relationships on your relationship with money. And that’s a big, so like and then we’d look at that from a human design perspective. That might be things that are trapped in your ego and if you are in emotion, if you’re emotionally open, your solar plexus is undefined, then you might be very uncomfortable feeling your feelings. So there’s typically a lot of emotional work that needs to be done on people with an emotional solar plexus open and EFT is my favorite practice and tool for that. So the three tools are a human design reading, which you can go to the shownotes to book that with me if you want to book one with me. If not, you can certainly find lots of people throughout the interwebs that are that are offering Human Design readings. So to raise your awareness and see yourself for your strength and who you are somatic tools like breath work to regulate your body so that in your you can be in your body and you can make decisions comfortably from your strategy. And authority. And you can turn yourself to that high expression of all of your centers. And you’re not getting interference from your nervous system shifting into flight fight flight or freeze and then EFT tapping out and disconnecting the emotional connection that you have freeing you from the emotional connection that you have to some of these beliefs and ways that you have been conditioned. So those are my three. And if you are interested in furthering your journey, like I said you can book a human design reading with me. There there’ll be a link inside the shownotes for that. We also have if you haven’t run your human design chart yet you can run it on our site, you can run an advanced version of your chart on our site at Nicolelaino.me/chart. You can get an advanced one for free. Normally there’s some information in there that that the other sites will actually make you pay for. So please go to our site and run that superduper advanced report from from us where there’s also some free resources if you sign up for our for our email list. You’ll be directed to you’ll get another email from us with some free resources on how to start using your type. Just by reading your chart we get we send you a free resource with that. And also if you are interested, I have a very, very exciting opportunity coming out up. We have a human design offer that is coming up. It’s going to be very exciting there’ll be a workshop. There are a few things coming up that are if you’re interested in deconditioning if you’re interested in living by your design, we have some very exciting offers coming up they’re just budding but if you want to get on the waitlist for those, please go to the show notes and we have a link for you there where you can sign up for that. waitlist and get added to our list and be the first to know about it so you don’t miss any of the details. Okay, I hope you enjoy this episode. I hope you see more clearly how you can decondition and you can start using some of these tools that I mentioned for how you could start your deconditioning journey and just and just owning and standing in your power and being able to be in your body throughout your day and make decisions from that aligned place and start the process of naturally deconditioning yourself. Now if you if you if you loved this episode, please share it on Instagram snapshot a photo and tag me at Nicole Laino official and your stories and remember you are only limited by the limitations that you accept. And when you stop accepting those limitations. That is when you become limitless, my friends. So go out there and be limitless. I will see you next time. 

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