Nicole Laino
Hello and welcome to the limitless entrepreneur podcast. I am your host, Nicole Laino. And I am here today I have a wonderful interview and a wonderful guest here with me right now her name is Leila Connie. She’s the CEO and founder of embodied and rising, Leila, thank you for being here with us. Can you please introduce yourself to the listeners?

Leila Khani
Yes. Hey, thank you so much for having me. My name is Leila. And as you said, embodied and rising is a flagship program that helps women entrepreneurs, wild women entrepreneurs, build their businesses. And we really like to focus on wealth, and supporting women like 360 degrees, because I believe now especially that we don’t build our businesses in a bubble, and we need support in terms of our energy, so that we don’t burn out. And we need support in terms of our motherhood for parents so that, you know, we can have this holistic wealth and life as we are building these businesses that set our souls on fire.

Nicole Laino
Yes, abundance in all areas. Yes,

Leila Khani
exactly. Yes. Yeah. And I’ve been

Nicole Laino
really looking forward to this interview, because I think we’re going to talk a lot about money today, specifically, about women and wealth. Like, let’s get into that conversation, because it’s a conversation that I have wanted to have for a long time. So I’m excited to have it here on the podcast. But I feel like and we’re gonna get into but I’m, women don’t talk about money enough.

Leila Khani
Not enough at all. We it’s like, we’re scared to say that we want it but we know that we want it and we don’t know how to have the conversations. And there’s so much like guilt and shame and all these stories and boxes that we put ourselves in when it comes to wealth.

Nicole Laino
Yeah, and, and I’d like to change that if anybody gets anything out of this episode, they’re gonna get so much. But the one thing is pay attention to your energy around money, and the way that you talk about it, and the way that you approach it. Yes. So I know that you have a kind of unique point of view on the whole mindset movement. So I’d love for you to kind of open up with that. Let’s kick off with that. And tell us a little bit about your thoughts on on the mindset movement that’s out there right now. Okay,

Leila Khani
so I feel like mindset is a big buzzword. But I also feel like it is really lacking and missing something. So everybody likes to talk about, you know, mindset mindset. Think positive, change your thoughts. And to me, that’s a really like surface level way of addressing the problem. And I believe that it’s really about changing our identities, like our subconscious wealth identities, because if you don’t do that, that’s like a bucket, right? And if all you do all day is try to chase your thoughts. And, you know, just, I just need to learn more. And it’s like you’re trying to fill the bucket that has holes in it, when really you need to change the bucket, which is what your identity is.

Nicole Laino
Absolutely. No, I I feel you on that. Because while mindset, I think getting people into mindfulness, and paying attention to your thoughts is so important, because that’s the start right? Right. Now, we’ve all been in the mindset where you have been swimming in the mindset pool for a while we’re all so now it’s time to kind of say, Okay, well, let’s get into the deep end. Now. We’ve been splashing around on the kiddie side talking about positive thoughts and affirmations and things like that. And that’s great. But the truth is, is like you were talking about the bucket analogy, you got a whole bunch of stuff that’s filled up the bucket, and you’ve got to get that out. And you’ve got to change the bucket and say, like, you know, what, is this really what do I want this container of me to be? What is my identity around wealth around my business around that, quite frankly, masculine energy, of money. So So, let’s, let’s dig a little bit deeper into that. How can like what do you what is your approach with that about changing your identity with money or identifying what is your identity with money? Right?

Leila Khani
So I mean, I think the easiest way to see what your identity is, is to look around Do write because your identity is like the basis from which all things are going to stem. So your identity is going to produce your beliefs, which are then going to produce, like your thoughts and emotions, and then actions and then your actions create your world, right? So if you look at your world, and your bank account, and all of your outside indicators, if they’re not where you want them to be, then you’ve got some identity work to do. So that’s kind of like the, the indicator really is if, if you’re not kind of, if the outside is mirroring the inside. You look here, and you see really what’s reflecting. Right?

Nicole Laino
Right. So you can, there’s two ways that you can come at this stuff, but the easiest way is, so there’s there’s the there’s the Inside Out approach, and there’s the outside in approach. Yeah. So the outside results in form your inner identity. So if you’re looking around, and you don’t have everything that you want, and you’re saying like, so, if you can only make $70,000 a year, you have a $70,000 a year identity. Yes, exactly. And what does that mean? Like? How did that get there? That begs some more questions, right? That’s how I approach it. It’s always like, Okay, well, what makes me think that? Yeah, yeah, I tied to that. So So talk to us a little bit about about your approach with that.

Leila Khani
So I think we’ve all heard the whole, like, our identities are built, usually within like the first seven years of our lives, right? So

Nicole Laino
early childhood, when your brain is more malleable, you’re conscious than then then conscious? And, yeah,

Leila Khani
yeah, totally. So that’s the that’s where like our first initial identities get get built from is in like, early childhood, right. So that’s where you kind of get your first beliefs and impressions and how you grew up. And it’s like, the all of the stories, right, you have to work hard to make money, money doesn’t grow on trees, all of the things that you heard growing up in your life, are the things that you use to build your identity. Because I mean, when you’re young, you don’t have that much of a choice, right? You don’t do it consciously. But now we can, which is like the exciting part.

Nicole Laino
And I’m wondering, and not to put you on the spot. But I’m curious if you have a viewpoint on that as parents, because a lot of my audiences are moms, and I think about this all the time, because I have a three year old son, and well, almost three. And I think all the time about how everything I do and everything he sees and everything he is a part of, is informing who he is becoming, I am building his identity. And, you know, no pressure. But these, his his viewpoint, his model of the world is being built in our home and in everything that he’s exposed to. So I’m curious if you have any thoughts on how moms can approach putting in good, healthy thoughts and frameworks for their kids around money? Yes. Where does that start?

Leila Khani
I am so on you on that. Actually, before I you know what this business actually evolved from that I initially wanted to kind of like, help moms build that like foundational empowering beliefs in their kids. Because I believe so strongly in that, in that my son is almost four, and my daughter just turned one. So I’ve got two of them. And I am there every day all the time, I am building their beliefs and their identities, right. So that is one of the most motivating driving factors in why I do what I do, because I want them to see that they create their own wealth, and that they make their own lives and that they can run these amazing businesses based on their passions, and that they can change the world. Right? And so that’s why I do what I do. But I mean, it was a little bit of a tangent. So yeah, totally why I believe in changing my stuff around money so that I don’t pass it on to them.

Nicole Laino
And I mean, that’s we’re all stepping out of an old way and into a new and hoping that the kids get more of the new way of thinking and the new way of being But I’d love to talk a little bit about because you’re talking about identity with wealth. And I think that that is that’s another word that gets thrown around a lot right now. And I don’t know if there’s necessarily enough context for people or understanding of what that really means. And how you can change your identity like your, you know, we talked about, like, obviously, we were moms, we identify as a mom that has an identity that we have. And then you know, but then there’s also there are these more hidden identities. And sometimes they’re hard to look at. They’re difficult to look at. And so do you have a process or anything or any insight into how people can identify what their identity is? And how to how to start addressing that?

Leila Khani
Yep. So like you said, if the bank account says $70,000, and it never moves beyond that, then it’s pretty safe to say that I identify as someone who makes $70,000. Right. So the process, which takes practice, I mean, like everything else does, is to really start. I mean, first of all, you have to get super clear on what you want your new identity to be, right? I am a million dollar business owner is, say, the new identity. So the practice is then to be the million dollar business owner, as much as you possibly can now, right? So it’s like, if I was a million dollar business owner now or like, I am the million dollar business owner now, what do I do? Like, what kind of decisions do I make a million dollar business owner doesn’t make the same kind of decisions as a $70,000? Business Owner, right? Their lives are different, they think differently, they act differently. They do different things. So to try as much as possible to do those things now. And to be that person now and to decide for your business and your life the way you would as you would then does that make sense? It does.

Nicole Laino
I mean, I think that it’s I think it’s an easier thing to understand when it’s explained to you, and then doing it in the moment can be very difficult. And I think the reason is that there’s a lot standing in the way subconsciously, between you saying I’m a million dollar business owner, and actually believing

Leila Khani
it. Right? Which is why the whole like, just say the affirmation 100,000 times a day doesn’t really work, right? Because you’re still just putting it in the ears like, I’m a million dollar business owner, I’m a million dollar business owner, but then you’ve got the whole conscious mind. That’s like, No, you’re not. Right, yeah, no, you’re not. So I mean, a lot of subconscious reprogramming work has to do with there are better times like, if you can access like, the different brainwave states just before you fall asleep, and just when you wake up in the morning, those are like good times to, you know, feel. Another little kind of trick thing is, instead of the affirmations that meet with so much resistance, the feeling of wealth is going to generate wealth. So just saying the word wealth to yourself and how that feels right? If you just say, well, it kind of doesn’t have all of the stuff attached to it. So if you do that, right, before you fall asleep, I do that. It’s one of my little tricks, right? So as you’re going to sleep, just think wealth, because the word doesn’t have the associations of, you know, hiring a million dollar business owner, right, your brain can’t come in and say no to wealth, it’s just a feeling. It’s just a word that doesn’t have associations. So, you know, things like that can help too. So,

Nicole Laino
this I call this the limitless entrepreneur podcast. The reason I do is because these are the there are limitations that we are all experiencing every single day. It’s our limitations that are determining our world and when we stop accepting those limitations, but you have to believe it so hard, and so fully, and that’s the work and that is the toughest thing to do. So, I’d love to talk a little bit about it. And I think that so much of this is typically tied back to work. worthiness, yes. And so there’s there’s two types of worthiness, there’s the I don’t deserve good things, and that can come from a certain place. But there’s also the other type, which is, I was told that women don’t have this women shouldn’t have this women that, you know, there’s there’s kind of a societal worthiness as well. So I just wonder what your experience is with that since you work with so many women in this space?

Leila Khani
Yes, you’re right. I see it all the time. All the time. All. It’s like this general epidemic of unworthiness. And I’m like, it drives me so crazy, right? The, the undercharging and the over delivering and give, give, give, give everything all your time. And yeah, I It’s one of I think, the the hardest things for me, I mean, I don’t know if I was maybe like, born with some kind of like, thing missing, because I don’t, I don’t have that. And I’m, and I, and I’ve kind of like struggle a little bit to be like, we just want to shake women and be like, hello, what are you doing? Right? I don’t know. So I love kind of like just getting them in my world and being like, you’re worthy. Just because you exist. You don’t have to prove anything. You don’t have to do anything. In fact, do less. charge more. Charge way, way, way more, do less. Right. And like, that’s just the beat. That’s where you begin? Like, that’s just a start. Right?

Nicole Laino
And that’s kind of a good test. Right? Like, nothing will test your worthiness more than raising your prices. Yes. Just cuz

Leila Khani
I mean, yeah. Yeah,

Nicole Laino
I think and, you know, I think that the other the other place that tests your worthiness is social media.

Leila Khani
Oh, like comparison? Yeah. And I’m like, no comparison. There was you there was one you, and it’s like, Let’s Get Real. At the end of the day, I feel like most people are saying the same thing. Everybody’s saying the same thing. But everyone says it in their own way and their own unique way. And there was just one, you and I just did a live in my group about how there is like a U shaped hole in people’s lives. And only you can fill it, you can say what everyone else is saying. But your experiences and your language and your tweaks can only be set by you. Right? So there’s no such thing as comparison when you look at it from that angle, right of like, unique authenticity.

Nicole Laino
And that’s really, and I think that that’s the message, right is that if, if everybody’s saying the same things, and if the key is because I think we’ve all we’ve heard that before, right? And people are just like, but I am putting myself out there I am going out there and I’m still not getting the followers I’m not getting I’m not making more money. I’m not it’s not working quote unquote, working. And and we you know that we say that there’s a U shaped hole that’s that only you can fill. But the reason it’s not being filled is because you are not fully stepping into that hole, you are stepping in as a version of, you know, some sort of carbon copy of somebody else. And so it’s sort of like the key is to let your freak flag fly a little bit out there on the internet and say what’s really on your mind,

Leila Khani
take off the filters,

Nicole Laino
then that’s the hardest thing, and then you bump up against the worthiness. It’s that feeling of or just that fear of judgment?

Leila Khani
Yes, it’s the biggest thing, right? We don’t want to be judged and we don’t want to be criticized.

Nicole Laino
It’s why I sort of look at social media as this sort of kind of an ultimate personal growth test. Oh, is that you know, the more that you can peel off the layers and the more you can put out there in an authentic way? Yes. And I’m curious what your view on authentic representation of yourself is, like in this work that you do and what you what you help female entrepreneurs do out in their world, but like, what is your take on that on showing up authentically?

Leila Khani
Oh, Oh, yeah, so totally agree. I love what you said, personal development. Yes. Right, coming up into social media and all of this stuff. So, yeah, I mean, that’s how I feel we are so fortunate, right with all have the opportunity and all of the possibility we can do anything like our mothers and our grandmothers couldn’t even dream of the possibilities we have, right? So I think about that, when I go to show up, about like, the lineage of women that came before me who would die for this kind of opportunity. And then I think about the one that’s coming next, like my son and my daughter, and the ones that are coming up, and how we are so fortunate, and we are so privileged, and we get to do these things that people only dreamed of. So it’s like, why not? Like, grab that? Right? Why not that? And also, there is like, so little time. Right? There was so little time.

Nicole Laino
Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, recognizing that, that I love what you’re saying there about grab that opportunity and what people didn’t have before, because right now, everybody does have a voice. And that can be annoying at times, because you’re just like, Ah, why? But that’s something to pay attention to as well. Like, who are you? Who are you judging out there? And why? Because typically, it’s something that is speaking about something that’s happening internally, for you. So I love that. I love that, you know, you brought that up about the opportunity that exists right now that didn’t for decades, and pretty much our generations before. Yeah. So I think and I think that that can sometimes part be part of the pressure or the the struggle for a lot of women is they they have this opportunity to have a voice. But they don’t feel empowered within themselves, to share it all. And I think that that’s the journey. It is

Leila Khani
for sure. too. Yeah, same when you start, you’re like, oh, I don’t know what to say, What do I say? And really, nobody’s really paying that much attention anyways. So you can make the mistakes, and you can fumble and stumble and like people still do, it doesn’t matter. People are not paying as much attention as you think. Right? So you can say what you want to say. And then the more you do it, the easier it gets, of course, like anything else, right? And you find your voice and you find your people, and it starts coming together and it gets easier and then shown, right?

Nicole Laino
Yeah. And I think that’s the difference between like being in flow and being in alignment with what you’re doing, versus trying to do something because you want an outcome. Hmm, yeah. And that, again, the whole energetic thing, it’s the reason why I think that it’s the key to the it is the key to success because there’s an energy to success. There’s an energy to achievement and to but it that alignment only happens when you are acting in accordance with what what your goal is and that vision and letting that carry you not trudging up that hill, stabbing everything along the way just to try to claw your way to the top doesn’t doesn’t really work like that. It has to be somewhat inspired. So everybody’s had those experiences, I think, right? Where you sat down to write a post or to do a video or to just speak to your audience in some way. And it’s felt amazing. Yes. Flows. Yes. Pay attention to that.

Leila Khani
Yes, totally agree. I think as women, we have super power of intuition that we have been taught our whole lives to not listen to when in fact, it is like our greatest gift. Right? If we would only listen to it more and follow it and more like magic happens.

Nicole Laino
Yeah, and I feel like a lot of women we’ve we’ve been taught like you said to suppress that intuitive voice. Because and you know, for various reasons, everybody’s got their their things that they’re bringing in that’s holding them back or pushing them forward. But I know that I think a big tip off for me has always been, I’ll say things like, I knew if you ever say like, I knew I shouldn’t have done that. Or I knew I should I knew I should have gone this way, or I knew I should wear. That’s that’s basically your intuition is saying, I told you so yes. And sometimes we get caught in that trap of being like, I knew I was right. And then we’re and then we beat ourselves up for it. The the lesson in that really is just the next time that voice comes up. Because it took me a long time of saying that thing to myself. Before I started to say, Oh, the voice is telling me to do this, rather than talking myself out of it, because the outside world told me that it should be this way. A coach told me that I should do this, that I should be on this schedule that I should be doing this. My intuition is telling me this, and I’m going to follow it. And I’m going to at least test that out. And you know what, almost never disappointed in those results.

Leila Khani
Yeah, amazing. Right? Me too. I started small and like paying attention, because even if it’s sometimes I feel sometimes it’s little things. You’re in the house. And then like you’ll get this like little sense of like, oh, maybe you should bring this or you know, and then you’re like, What are you talking about? That doesn’t make any sense. And you go, and every time you needed the thing that you had the sense, right? And you’re like, I did need to bring that and I didn’t listen. And so now I catch it. Now if it’s there’s like a little Oh, you might want to grab that. I’m like, Oh, I hear you. And I grab it and you need and I’m like yes, I listened this time.

Nicole Laino
Yeah. And that’s kind of a reframe, right? Because we can we get mad at ourselves. So we think about that thing. We don’t bring the thing. And then we get to the place. And we’re like, I knew I should have brought the thing. And then we can start the internal voice of saying, You’re so stupid. Why didn’t you just take it? And it ends up getting at least maybe that’s just me, I’m super critical. But I could I could get into that flow instead of being like, grateful for the very, like, very, very clear lesson that I should listen to myself when I think things. Yes. And I think if there’s any message of this, because there is an intuitive message about wealth. Yep. Totally is an and I know, like, what is your point of view on that on women’s intuition as it as it relates to their

Leila Khani
wealth? Yes. And also, I think this brings back the whole, we are not only taught to suppress our intuition, but we are also taught that, you know, we’re bad with money, and we don’t know how to make money and the all of that stuff, right? When in fact, yes, we have the same superpower when it comes to that. So I don’t know how long ago but a while ago, I started the whole same process of I want to invest in everything. And I want to take all the courses and I want to do all this stuff. And I mean, I mostly have so let’s get real. But yes, still now to this day, it’s more like in tuned, because I listen, right? If there’s a thing that I need to do in my business, or especially when it comes to people to collaborate with, or if I am in the stage of like, wanting to hire people to bring on to the business. And I already know, like, I know the people that I want, because I can feel it. And it was the same thing when I hired like a nanny for my kids. The first person who came like, I felt it and I knew when people were like, Oh, you need to interview like so many people before you find the right one. And I’m like, No, I don’t. I know she’s the right one. Because I know right? And she was and they love her and she’s coming on Monday. And so I feel like we need to tune into that same thing more when it comes to our business and the people that will help like grow our business and the people we hire and the decisions that we make in terms of what we invest in 100% Yeah, for sure.

Nicole Laino
Yeah, I think that that’s kind of a big takeaway for this episode is that if everybody just walks away from this, just taking some time, not to Google, not to scroll social media to see what other coaches are out there or what everybody else is saying to to really turn inward? Yes. And one of my clients actually put we have a grateful post going like we’re we’re tracking or what everybody’s grateful for, because I want everybody getting in the practice of being grateful for The tiniest little things like I love this desk, I can put you in just a space of really feeling grateful. But one of the things that she she was saying is that it was resonating with her because I say all the time, all the answers are within you, yep, are already there. And if everybody could just take a moment to tap into that intuition, that when you’re about to do something, or you’re not sure about something, rather than looking at the outside world and saying waiting for feedback, which is really, there’s so much noise out there now, nothing will lead you astray or down a path of not great results. Like, like the internet. Yep. It can be a beautiful, wonderful thing. But it can also just lead you down to confusion. I think a lot of times, and the one thing that will never confuse you is your intuition. You will be getting really, really clear messages. And you might not understand them. And you might not they might usually they’ll just scare you where you’re like, but everybody, if you catch yourself saying but everybody else is saying to do this, but something inside of you is saying I need to do this.

Leila Khani
That’s the voice. Yeah, that’s

Nicole Laino
what you need to listen to and act on.

Leila Khani
I love that point. Usually it will scare you. Right? Because your next level growth is never going to be comfortable. It’s never going to be safe. It’s never going to be something where like, oh, wow, this is easy. Knew it’s going to scare you. But you’re still going to know, right? Yeah,

Nicole Laino
I have a I have a post it note on my computer here. It says Newsflash, growth feels like shit. Yeah. That’s what it does feel like, like, doing the uncomfortable things like and that’s just to remind myself, like, I just look at it. And like, when I’m not feeling great or something be like, you know, just remember, growth feels like that. Because it does. And honestly, if you are in a place where you are feeling wildly uncomfortable, but you’re doing it because you took a step in the direction of something you want. That’s a good uncomfortable to be in. Yes. And then ask your intuition. Is this the right thing? Yeah, and that you’ll usually get a yes. Like, it’ll tell you the voice inside of you saying I know it’s scary. But this is going to be a fun ride. Trust me.

Leila Khani
Totally, like, investing 20 grand in a program that I don’t have. Are you kidding me? Yeah, you got to. Okay. Right. You don’t know where it’s going to come from? How the how, how, how right. Now?

Nicole Laino
Right? The how is what usually gets us stuck in same thing. And that’s not, that’s not the path to growth, because I’ve been there too, you know, like signing up. 20 grand. I don’t know how I’m gonna pay for this. But something inside of me is telling me that this is the thing and listening to that. And then I turned that into I like almost four times that investment in a couple of weeks. Yeah. It made sense. And it was just, it was like that full belief that it worked. But I had to believe that it was the right thing. You can’t white knuckle it the whole time. Oh, right. Yes, man. And then you’ve got to, you’ve got to move with that train. And trust trusting intuition.

Leila Khani
Yeah. Yeah. The whole you know, wishing and hoping is nice. But you still have to act. Yes. Hold the acting from the person. Right.

Nicole Laino
Right. Act as if. And yes, completely. So I love this. I know I could I could talk about money and women and money in business all day long. But unfortunately, we are out of time, but I know that people are going to want to stay in touch with you. I think you actually had a resource that you were generously giving to everybody. So tell us a little bit, tell them a little bit about where they can stay in touch with you and keep up with everything that you are sharing.

Leila Khani
Okay, so everyone can always come to Leila connie.com. That’s my website LEILAK H A and I have to spell it because and the Freres resources on there, also, we’re going to link to it. It’s a PDF for wild ways to make more money. So it’s a whole the whole like New Paradigm energetic stuff that we were talking about, about getting in tune with wealth, not that old, boring spreadsheet at masculine kind of stuff. So it’s fun, it works. It’s awesome. So I would love to give that to everyone. And I have a free Facebook group called wildly one wealthy women entrepreneurs, and everybody can come and hang out with me there. We do free trainings. I interview my women, I love building like the whole feeling of a sisterhood community when it comes to building our wealth. It’s more fun together, right?

Nicole Laino
I think it’s necessary to I think, strength comes from looking at other people who say like, I feel that too, and you’re all overcoming it together. I always say that, you know, it doesn’t change that the path in front of you is just as dark and just as scary. But for some reason, when you lock arms with somebody, it’s like, okay, I can do this, if you come with me. Yes. And that’s the, that’s what you get in these communities. And that’s why it’s so powerful. You see big change happen when you get into a container, and everybody’s kind of doing the same thing. So I love that. And thank you so much for being here. Thank you for these are such great resources. We will link all of that stuff up in the show notes for you guys. So if you are not able to write all that down or join her group right away, just hop on over to the show notes and we have links that will take you directly there so you can stay in touch with Leila. Leila, thank you. This was such a great conversation. I appreciate you being here. I appreciate you spending the time I appreciate you bringing your energy. I think everybody’s getting some some wealthy vibes just from the episode. And everyone if you’ve made it this far, if you’re out here listening to us at the end, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you. I want you to always remember that this show is a reminder for you that you are only limited by the limitations that you accept. You are truly limitless when you stop accepting those limitations. You are a limitless entrepreneur. So thank you so much. I’m your host, Nicole Laino and I will see you on next week’s episode. Thank you