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Episode #165 – Living Your Purpose Through Human Design

What is my purpose and how do I live it? You may know you’re here for a reason, but long to find out exactly what it is you’re here to do. Today, Nicole shows us how Human Design and Gene Keys can help you crack the code and shed light on the answer. And the answer probably isn’t what you think it is. She’ll explain why more “knowing” isn’t going to get you to the magic answer and how “doing” is truly the path to clarity.

Here’s a few of the highlights from this intoxicating episode:

  • How Human Design is your map and code on how your energy is going to be expressed (and how this impacts your journey to finding your purpose)
  • Why focusing solely on your Incarnation Cross isn’t going to speed up your discovery (and how it ultimately slows it down)
  • Why operating from your strategy and authority is actually your secret path to purpose
  • What role conditioning plays in the process

Listen in to start your journey to uncovering your soul’s path.


Find out more about the brand new membership community for Human Design enthusiasts. A space I’ve carefully curated to give you EVERYTHING you need to accelerate your understanding of Human Design and take daily action to become the most authentic, unshakeable you. Find out more and sign up now at nicolelaino.com/lab.

We’d love to have you join the new Facebook Group, Human Design for Entrepreneurs so be sure to visit nicolelaino.com/podcastlinks to sign up and grab the free productivity and deconditioning guide while you are there.  

Don’t forget to enter our monthly contest where you can win your own mini reading/coaching session on the show! Leave a review for the show, take a screenshot of the review, share it on Instagram and tag @nicolelainoofficial and you’re in the drawing. 

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  1. Please subscribe to the podcast on Apple PodcastsSpotify, or wherever you listen!
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Hello and welcome to Unshakeable With Human Design. I am your host, Nicole Laino, and we are here with an exciting episode today. I am so excited to talk about this. We’re talking about finding and living your purpose through human design. Now, this is a loaded topic. I have so many notes. I have so many things that I want to say.

I honestly like I’ve structured out the episode, but I really like giving it up and just letting what comes through come through, because this is a big topic because I’m sure it’s not going to be the last episode that we do on this. We’ll come at it from another angle, but I wanted to introduce it here and I’m so excited to do it because I’ve been really immersed in this.

Lately just with my work with the Gene Keys and just, I don’t know, as work with anything evolves I have been obsessed with the incarnation cross, obsessed with these gates, and finding our purpose and our human design. And it doesn’t just lie there. And that’s really what I want to talk about today.

So much to come, so excited. Before we start, I do want to let you know that we have a new program thing coming out that I’m super excited about. It’ll be coming out in June. And if you would like to be the first to know about it, if you would like to be the first to know about when it’s coming out, what we are offering, and opt in for some special pricing.

Then please sign up for our wait list. Go to Nicolelaino.me/waitlist. You can also go to nicolelaino.me/podcastlinks. All the links that we have that are active and current will be on that page. Always. So you can always check back on that page. That’s a good one to bookmark and always stay up to date with our free resources.

The masterclasses, waitlist. Anything that we have going on will be on that page, so that’s a great one to have like in your little pocket there. Let’s dive into the episode though, shall we? 

Let’s talk about purpose. When human design, how to find your purpose using human design. Now it’s pretty intoxicating, right? If I could just learn to read this chart, if I could just figure out what all these colors, these shapes, these numbers and all these things mean, and figure out how to put them all together, then I’ll know what my purpose is. It’s so seductive, isn’t it? Because we all kind of want to know, don’t we?

We are all feeling that, right? Like we want to know what our purpose is. We know we’re here for a reason. I think we all have that inner longing to find the reason that we’re here and to live it out. Now I’m a coach, and when I ask people what their greatest desires are, ask everybody who signs up for a reading with me.

I ask everybody who comes into my programs, what’s your greatest desire in life? What’s the vision that you have for yourself? And most people say some form of living their purpose, feeling useful in this life, feeling like they reached their full potential, their soul’s potential in this lifetime.

And human design purpose does live in our chart. It does, but it’s a little bit more, it’s less intellectual than most people think. It’s, you’re going to arrive at it differently than you probably think you will. And this is a shift that I want you all really to commit to making. And you’ve heard me say it on the show before, but I really mean it when if you’re trying to find your purpose, human design will tell you the trajectory of your storyline.

What are the things that are, what is the light that you are here to shine in this world, and how can you best do that? But it isn’t going to be through studying that you achieve it. You may have an intellectual understanding of it, but you will not have lived it. And then, is the purpose even worth anything?

Or actually does it make it even more painful? If you don’t reach it because you’re not living it and you know what it is, and you’re just not there, some of us have an inkling of that. We have that I know this is my purpose. I know that I’m meant to do this thing and we’re not fully there yet, but to really have this full painted picture.

You, you may know and have this idea of what you’re here to do, but you’re not doing it. It doesn’t come out of the “knowing”. It comes out of the “doing”, it comes out of the living out the other aspects of your design. So I’m going to give you some examples of how this works and how it doesn’t work.

And, but first I’m going to tell you a little bit about purpose and how we look at it in human design. Human design is a map. It’s a map and a code. For how you work, how your energy is going to be expressed. And ultimately, it is your soul’s path. And it tells you, this is how, if you’re operating this way, you’re going to collide energetically with the things that are going to help you on the path to achieving this ultimate purpose.

Now we all have this imprinting on us. We all have these higher energies that we carry. And some of us have a stronger pull to our purpose than others. Some of us are going to have just this really where you can’t deviate from it. And then others, you might have some more challenges in staying on your path.

It’s the rest of the chart. We all focus on the incarnation cross because it is, again, seductive. My purpose is in these four gates. How can I figure it out? If I can only figure out how they all fit together and I can put the story together in my mind, then it’ll just be so much easier. You have it backwards when you do it that way, and it doesn’t lead to greater growth faster.

First, we have to look at the entire chart and see what is your operating process. How are you meant to operate? How will you be more naturally pulled on your path? And that’s strategy and authority. That’s the part that you know, we always come back to it. And if you listen to anything about human design, we all sound like broken records, strategy and authority.

Strategy and authority. Because what it’s doing is if you’re following strategy and authority, there’s some innate things that are happening. There’re just some automatic things that are happening that you’re not doing. You’re not thinking from your mind. You’re not operating from your mind. If you’re following strategy and authority, you’re stopping the mind.

Now, I do this on a daily basis. I do this now actually pretty effortlessly. I follow strategy and authority. I catch myself very quickly when I’m not. And I go, oh, there I go. I’m initiating. Don’t do that. That’s not my strategy. And I come back to my response because I’m a manifesting generator. For those of you who are new here, I’m a five one emotional manifesting generator.

My strategy is to respond and inform and my authority is emotional, so I need to wait. I need to hang out with things before I’m ready to make a decision. And I have to wait for clarity of my emotions in order to make decisions that are correct for me. This is no longer difficult for me to do.

It was difficult in the beginning. In the beginning, I wanted to move faster. I kept thinking that if I didn’t move faster, if I wasn’t making decisions quicker than my growth would take longer. Common knowledge, common misconception really, because the more I slowed down, the faster I moved.

The clearer things became, the more aligned they became. The more money I made, the greater results I got for myself and other people, and everything got easier and my purpose started to show up. It starts to bloom in you because what strategy and authority is really doing is it is putting you in the right place at the right time.

It is helping you get out of your own way. Because we’re all born in this life, and if we were just following our strategy and authority from the very beginning, if we were following our strategy and authority from the very beginning of our lives and we never really deviated from it, then we would just start living our purpose.

It would just start happening. And the reason for that is we’d be pulled along the. The line, the geometric line toward the thing we were destined for. And it’s not a thing that we’re destined for. It’s an expression that we would just be, we would be this purpose. It just would be us and the things and the opportunities, the people and whatever it was the ideas would just come to support us being that thing.

But we don’t live that way. We’re not taught to live that way. Hopefully more and more kids will be raised to follow their strategy and authority, and they’ll just be living more in alignment with who they were designed to be and with their purpose, where they won’t be asking this question of what’s my purpose?

I hope to God that is the future for us, but for most of us who grew up in traditional family households with more traditional values and systems for parenting. Our parents didn’t know better, they didn’t know this, it didn’t even exist when I was a child, but they did the best that they could, but we were taught to make decisions from our mind to make decisions from only our personality, only from that right side of our chart.

And then we took in conditioning, and then you start making decisions to protect your nervous system. Your subconscious starts protecting you from making decisions, going into things that might be correct for you because it’s scared, because it doesn’t want to relive a traumatic experience. It doesn’t want to it’s the conditioning that starts to drive us.

I don’t want to feel that way. And that’s what all those not self themes of all the open centers. And if you have a split definition if you have a small split definition, it’s going to be those bridging gates. That’s what’s going to keep you from going along your natural path. So that’s why that work is so important.

And I’ll give you a really clear example here. If you have an open G center. Or if you have a conditioned, defined G center, because remember, go back to my episode on can my defined centers be conditioned? Because spoiler alert, they can, they most definitely can. In fact they’re, some of the worst issues that people have are conditioned or unhealthy was how we refer to them.

Unhealthy defined centers. If you’re living in an unhealthy expression of those centers, then that’s what’s consistent for you and it’s consistently unhealthy. So it can be wreaking even more havoc than the open centers sometimes. The open centers are just where we fall hard. The open center is where we feel overwhelmed and overpowered by things.

Whereas the defined ones, when they’re unhealthy, they almost feel like who we are in just like a negative way. It’s a distinction that is best experienced versus explained. But I hope that illustrates the point. But let’s say you have an open G center. The open G center, part of the not self, is looking for your purpose because it doesn’t come from inside of you, your purpose, or you’re not going to feel it in that center.

The G Center is the center of self-love, identity, purpose, direction. All of that lives in the G Center. And when you have it open, that doesn’t, that’s not an inside job. Whenever you are around, you are in a different environment and you’re around different people, then that starts to change the way that you view yourself.

You become who you’re around. How fun is that? As long as you’re not taking that on and thinking that their purpose is your purpose. This is what happens with a lot of kids, children who have open G centers. Their parents are often telling them, they’re often very frustrated by these kids because they’re like, they just have no direction.

 They don’t know where they’re going. And the problem with that is conditioning. They’re taught to think that they should know something that is impossible for them to know. So if you’re an open G center right now, and you’re saying like, what’s my purpose? What’s my direction?

Where should I be going? What’s my path? Hear that one from the open G’s a lot. What’s my path? Your path is to follow your strategy and authority into the correct environments that are going to help you feel the path. So do you see how, if you’re looking for your purpose and you’re an open G center, that can become an obsession for you.

So this whole hunting for purpose. This whole trying to figure it out is going to keep you from actually doing the things, actually following the responses, the invitations, the creative urges, it’s going to keep you from following those which are correct for you. Those are your strategies. Depending on your type, it’s going to keep you from listening to your authority, whatever that may be.

For me that would look like, I’m going to make a really hasty decision about this. I’m going to become obsessed about this. I’m going to dig into my purpose, and then I’m going to initiate things that I think will help me live my purpose more. My conscious sun gate is Gate 64, the gate of confusion.

So the gift is imagination and the Siddhi is illumination. Okay, so that must mean that I’m supposed to do something with imagination. Maybe it’s really creative, maybe it’s this, and those things are true. I’ve read all of that stuff and I know that to be true. I know that there’s an artist in me.

I know that I always have been. I’ve always identified with that. And Gate 64 is the archetype of the artist. There is this beauty in it, so I can use that to contemplate what that means to me and how that’s my light in this world, and that’s what I’m here to shine. But contemplating it alone is going to open it up.

But it’s not going to tell me what to do. Response shows me what to do. Authority tells me which responses are the right ones to act on, to follow, and through this dance of contemplating the different energies that I have and deconditioning my design as a whole. And following my strategy and authority, my purpose just becomes who I am.

And I have to say, folks, it is the most I’m getting choked up right now. It’s the most beautiful process. I can’t even truly articulate it to you. What it’s like to walk the path of your design and to just feel all of this beauty open up inside of you. And for the opportunities to just be there without having to push, without having to figure it all out, that you can surrender to the things that you can’t fix, to the things that you can’t figure out because it’s not yours to figure out.

It’s yours to surrender to, and what a beautiful ride it is when you can sit back, surrender. Follow what you’re given according to your strategy and authority, and watch these lights turn on inside of you and watch these lights get reflected back in life. As you start to walk with it in other people, you start to see your purpose reflected back.

It’s really just, it’s so incredible. So it’s a framework that we’re working with here. It isn’t a series of definitions, which is often how it’s looked at. Now. I really love, I don’t just follow human design for, living purpose. Human design is the mechanical part.

This is what tells us what to do. Strategy and authority in my mind and my experience cannot be replaced simply with contemplation. I love both of these together. I love human design for that mechanical process of if this, then do that. And then the gene keys, there is nothing on this planet that I have found yet.

I’ll leave it open for something to appear and for something to be born. But as of right now, there’s nothing on this earth that is more soul opening than the Gene Keys process. It is truly remarkable. And that journey is incomparable. So finding your purpose in human design is really about finding your process, trusting your process, and not feeling like you need to force it or force yourself into your purpose, and trusting that the more you stay in alignment.

The more your purpose just starts to take over your life in a very natural and beautiful way. And then you can relax. Then you can relax. Now, I’m going to walk you through the incarnation cross gates because I do want you to know what they are, and I do want you to see just how this kind of works. We have two sides to the chart.

We have the personality side, which is the conscious side. That’s the right side of the chart. And then we also have the left side of the chart, which is the design side. This is the unconscious side. Personality is associated with your birth date. That’s the calculation that we’re using there. And then the design side is associated with 88 days roughly before you were born.

Now these are two different calculations that give us different gates now. The conscious sun is the top, so it’s going to be the top two on either of these columns. In the planetary activations, on the sides of the chart, conscious sun, conscious earth, unconscious sun, unconscious earth, also known as personality, sun and earth design, sun and earth. 

The sun is the light. It’s very easy to understand when you think about it this way. The sun energy is the light that we are here to shine. And the personality side, this is who we think we are. This is the personality. This is who we are out in the world. This is what we are largely putting out there. It’s how we view ourselves.

This is the part that we really connect to. That’s yeah I feel like I can use this energy. I feel like you have more of a handle on it. It’s conscious to you. You’re like, yes, that’s me. I’m aware of it. There’s more awareness on the right side of the chart than on the left for sure. Your conscious son, your personality son.

That is the light that you are here to shine. That is who you’re here to be. This is your personality. It is the greatest light that you carry and it holds. This is your life’s work in Gene Keys, and then the earth grounds light. The earth is the part that there, there’s, this is where the depth is that is holding that light down.

They have a relationship. So I look at these together, but I also look at them in their pieces and they start to tell a story. But it’s your story. So even though you might have the same incarnation cross as somebody else, millions of people do. There’s tons and tons of people. You’re going to meet people who have the same incarnation cross.

I do readings for people and there’s certain crosses that I attract they’re my people. I’m like, cross of rulership. You’re in my world. That tells me something too about the people who, about the things that I’m attracting. It’s very interesting to know who’s being brought into and attracted into your life.

There are lots of crosses. I have a good handful of crosses that I interact with a lot in my life. So that’s what grounds you is the earth energy, and they’re going to have a relationship, those two gates. And now on the design side, you have the unconscious sun, your design sun, and your design earth.

Now you can just think about these, that these are the energies that are a bit more behind the curtain. This is the light that’s a bit deeper inside of you. That’s not going to be as easy for you to wrap your hands around. That might be a little trickier for you to understand how it shows up in you, but as you do, it starts to take over in a beautiful way.

It holds a theme and it holds a theme of light. It’s just not going to be the same as the light of, it’s not going to be as big and bold. It’s a softer light that radiates from inside of you. And then the design earth, that is what grounds your purpose. This is that stake in the ground that’s holding you down.

This is an unconscious energy that is holding down or wreaking havoc in your life. It can be the source of your ungrounding or your grounding. Now you can understand all of this, but it’s living by the rest of your design while contemplating these things, while working through this, while understanding the shadow frequencies, the different frequencies of these gates can open up so much for you. And if you do that while living your design, while following your strategy and authority, amazing things happen. This is what we do inside my programs. This is what I do. This is the work that I love to do with people, private containers. This is the work that I live for.

Because it’s just, it’s so amazing to see. What happens with people, and there are so many people who make so much progress, and then I see where they get stuck is where they are not following their strategy and their authority. They’re either hesitating, they’re not trusting that the thing that they know is right, that they are being told is right through their authority.

They’re abdicating their authority and they’re putting it out, or they’re falling into a conditioning element of their design. I see it so clearly now, it provides such a nearly full proof map to show us why somebody is not moving in the direction that they feel pulled in, and it’s a beautiful tool. I hope you found this episode helpful.

I hope you enjoyed it. I hope diving into purpose, I hope this inspired you to dive deeper into your purpose and to dive deeper into living by your design and getting out of the intellectual process and getting into the experimentation and using of your design following. This and building a relationship with your authority and moving only when your strategy calls you to, and your authority tells you that it is the right direction for you.

It’s the right thing for you to respond to take up an invitation, an urge, a creative urge for you to follow through on. I hope this inspires you to dive deeper. And if you would like to dive deeper with me, if you would like to book a human design reading, you can go to nicolelaino.me/podcastlinks.

We have a link to book a human design reading there. I also do relationship readings, which come after the foundational readings. If you want to do something with your spouse, your partner, your children. We do those as well. And if you want to sign up for the wait list to know about what is coming inside the rest of my world, the unshakable world, please sign up for our wait list at Nicolelaino.me/waitlist.

That is also on the podcast links page as well. If you just go into that page, you can sign up for all the things there, and I hope to meet you in a reading. I hope that you take me up on it. I hope that this inspired you in some way to dive deeper into your purpose through your human design. Now, go out there, everyone.

Be unshakeable and I will see you in the next episode.

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