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Episode #166 – 3 Reasons Making “Big, Bold Moves” Won’t Solve Your Problems

Big risk equals big rewards, right? Not necessarily. Nicole is going to tackle this advice and share why she isn’t always a fan of this approach in the coaching industry. She’ll walk you through how you can evaluate if a “big, bold move” is actually right for you and if it’s the right time to act on it versus taking the advice, go big or go home as a universal truth.

Here’s a few key points she’ll drop today:

  • Why we should look at situations with the lens of how does this apply to me right now in this very specific situation that I’m in?
  • How human design can save you from the outside world trying to influence you for its own gain.
  • How to make a big, bold move that is much more likely to go your way and be successful.
  • How to avoid “abdicated authority syndrome” and trust your own inner authority through Human Design.
  • The #1 shift you need to make in your process when assessing whether those big, bold moves are right for you.


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Hello and welcome to Unshakeable With Human Design. I’m your host, Nicole Laino, and we are here with a solo episode. That is something that gets my knickers in a twist, if I’m going to be honest. We’re going to be talking about something that really bothers me in the coaching self-development industry, and we’re going to dive into it from the human design perspective.

So before I get started, I do want to call out that we do have a wait list running right now for a new program that we will be launching in June. This is something that people have been asking for for a long time. We are very excited about it. I want to talk about it now, but I can’t. My team will not let me.

So instead, we have a wait list so you can be the first to know when we unveil all of it, you’ll be the first to know. You’ll be the first to know. You’ll be the first to be able to join. You’ll be the first to be able to get bonuses and discounts and whatever it is that we are offering, you’ll be able to get that if you’re on the waitlist.

So please join it, nicolelaino.me/waitlist. We’ll get you onto that list and you can go to nicolelaino.me/podcastlinks. If you want all of the links, we have our wait list link, all of our free guides are available there. They link out to them there. We also have the link to book a reading with me if you’d like to dive into human design reading or if you want to learn about the Unshakable Entrepreneur Program, which is my flagship group program, which is super high-touch and you can work really closely with me.

If you’re really into this work and you hear the readings or you’ve had a reading and you’re like, I want to go all in, then that might be the place for you. I’m happy to talk to you about that. You can reach out to me on Instagram if you have questions. Anyway, Let’s dive in, shall we? We are going to be talking today about three reasons why making big, bold moves will not solve your problems.

Now, this is something that we hear a lot in the coaching industry. You’ll see it on Instagram, you will see that people will say, the reason that I am successful is I’ve made big, bold moves. The reason you’re not successful is you are not making big, bold moves. There’s also a little bit of the same message in the, if you’re not decisive, if you’re not jumping on this, if you aren’t, like you have to take big leaps in order.

Big risks equal, big reward. Now there, there’s truth to that for sure. But I have some pet peeves in here that I kind of want to work through because this is very damaging. When we just take these things, like anything, when we take them and we look at them out of context, we look at them as these universal truths, rather than looking at them as, how does this apply to me right now in this very specific situation that I’m in?

With this very specific decision, this is ultimately how human design can save you from the outside world trying to influence you for its own gain. Even with the best intentions where they’re like, this is what worked for me. This is what you have to do, might not work for you. In fact, a lot of times it doesn’t.

A lot of times it doesn’t because this stuff is not tailored to you. These people don’t even know you. You’re reading something on Instagram that they wrote, or you’re on some mailing list. They have no idea who you are, but they do know what you’re afraid of, and they do know what you want and your desires, and they dangle it in front of you and they hit that pain point and they tell you here’s what you need to do to change it.

Well, maybe, maybe not. And I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt that it isn’t all for evil purposes. Because look, we solve problems. Like I solve problems. I’m solving problems. I’m telling you, human design is the way that you can help yourself. But truthfully, my goal with human design is that you become your own authority, is that you make decisions from a place of complete and total power.

From yourself and not listening to me, and not just taking my word for it, because what do I know? I know quite a bit about many things, but I don’t know very much about you. If I haven’t met you. If I don’t know you, it’s not my decision to make. So when someone says, making big, bold moves, the number one thing that got me to my million dollars, to my 2 million, to my whatever major success in my life, making big, bold moves.

Taking big risks. Well, they make it in their own power. Hmm. And that does not mean that you’ll necessarily be making it in your power, and that is the deciding factor. So let’s dive into it. I broke this down into like three reasons, three things that make this method, if you could call it that, that, that, that make this point of view, not universal.

I’m breaking it down for how it can be damaging and how you can take this and, and start to turn it around and make decisions from your power. Okay? So when you do make a big, bold move, it is much more likely to go your way than the other. It’s much more likely to be successful when you do it according to your human design versus just doing it for the sake of doing it.

So that brings me to number one. Number one, the reason that making big, bold moves will not solve your problem. Is that doing anything because someone tells you that it’s the way is not trusting in your inner authority. Think about when you make a decision like that. I call this “abdicated authority syndrome”.

This is when you’re giving your power away to other people. They said this worked. They said that this is what made them a million dollars. They said, I am not a real entrepreneur if I don’t make this kind of decision and if I’m not ready to make this type of leap. All of these tactics out there, PR networking, instagram, LinkedIn, all of these things, they do work. And then the way that they get you to buy something that is outside of your comfort zone is they tell you that by spending that amount of money, by taking that big leap is how you say yes to yourself. You’re really saying yes to them if you’re making it because they said that.

If you are saying yes to something because someone told you that you are a chicken, if you don’t, that you’re not a real entrepreneur, that you won’t be successful, then it’s not your decision. That’s not you saying yes to the product. It’s not you saying yes to the method. It’s not you saying yes, it’s you saying yes to them and their way of looking at this.

It’s you saying yes to the fear that you’re not enough. It’s not you being in your power. And what that leads to is number two. Number two on this list is the reason why big, bold moves won’t solve your problems. It can send you into a state of total dysregulation in your nervous system. So you take a big leap.

And you do it out of fear of not being enough, trying to prove yourself. All of these themes, if you have an open ego, as you’ll see this one a lot, open G Center, might see this one too, might be more susceptible to it does not mean you are immune to it. If you have those defined, either one, be very clear about that.

Open root, the pressure to do it now. I have to make something happen. So you jump into something out of the, out of the fear of not being able to relieve the pressure on your own. If I do this, then it’ll be work then. Then it’ll be done. Then I’ll be able to do it. Then I’ll be further along.

This’ll be the thing that’s that open route. We can see that at play. But that nervous system dysregulation that you’re in is only going to cause you. Now remember, if you go back to my episode on the law of attraction is why the law of attraction is wrong. And we talk about energetics and we talk about manifesting, and we talk about the way that you attract things to you.

We think it’s the thoughts, right? That’s the misconception. Thoughts are where we attract the things to us. Good thoughts attract good things. Bad thoughts attract bad things. It’s actually your energy and your nervous system is a far greater attractor than the thoughts in your head. Your head is what triggers the emotions, which triggers the energetic nervous system reaction to the things that you’re thinking. But at the root of it is that nervous system and whether you can, whether you have the capacity to hold something or not. Do you have the capacity to hold success? Do you have this, the capacity to hold failure?

Now, if you say yes to something that’s like a $20,000 program, because someone tells you that it’s the way. Now it might be. It might be. But if you do it just because someone tells you that this is what will get you there, but you’re not making that decision from a place of you really digging into your own inner authority and saying, this is correct for me, I have made.

Huge investments in my business, and they have been the best decisions I’ve ever made. But it’s because of the way I made the decision, not because someone told me that it was the thing that would get me the thing that I wanted, or they called me chicken, or they made me feel like I wasn’t enough if I didn’t make the decision, if I didn’t make the investment.

Now it has to come from a different place. I’m getting ahead of myself cause that’s kind of number three, but number two, that nervous system dysregulation. If you are so terrified, if you can’t pay the bill. If you can’t pay the bill, and you are so terrified where you are in a constant state of fear that could throw you off where you get locked up and you cannot take action that will actually get you the thing. You might not even be able to make the program work for you. You might not be able to even be able to to operate it because you are so stuck in a negative pattern. With this, your nervous system is being triggered constantly. Your fight or flight is being triggered constantly because you’re so scared that you can’t do anything.

You are now in debt and you are unable to work, unable to progress, and now you’re beating yourself up. Why can’t I do anything? Why can’t I get into action? Why am I stuck? Right? And now you’re not following strategy and authority because you’re so scared that you’re just trying to fix it all. You’re like, I can’t follow what feels good right now.

I have to do what I’ve got to do because I have bills to pay. I owe this person “X” amount of dollars per month. I’ve got to make it happen. Now, you might be able to kick yourself into gear there, but a lot of people, most people don’t. If you are that type of pressure performer, it’s not healthy. It’s definitely not healthy.

But if that’s what works for you and that’s what you want to do and how you want to live, then go do it. Most people do not have success with that method. It’s not sustainable, definitely. It might work once, but then when you want to do it again, it’s just part of you is going to be so afraid of repeating that pattern that it’s going to throw you into that nervous system dysregulation again.

You’re going to go into fight or flight or freeze, and you’ll be stuck just at something else. So that’s the second reason is your nervous system will get all jacked up. You’ll be so afraid that you’re in this fight flight, freeze mode, right? Now, the third reason why making big, bold moves in and of itself will not solve your problems, just making the big, bold move.

The third reason is that now that your nervous system, if your nervous system is all jacked up from number two, now you’re operating out of fear. You’re not operating in your power. Your power is your authority, your power is in your process. And the moment someone pushes you or you push yourself out of your own process, out of fear, out of lack, to use some law of attraction terms, when you make a decision out of lack, then you get more lack because you’re operating in it.

You’re in that frequency of, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. I’ve got to get it. I’ve got to get it. It’s desperate. Desperate energy, and nobody’s responding well to that. So this one, I, I, I want to say there is no action that is wrong on its face. There’s no decision that’s wrong on its face. It’s the way you enter into it.

That’s what we learn with human design. It’s not about is this investment right? And, you know, just on the piece of paper, is this a good investment or isn’t it? Well, it depends. Depends on you, depends on your situation. It depends on the direction you want to go in. It depends on the reasons why you’re saying yes to it.

And to know that you’re not being swayed by the outside. How you know you are not being swayed by great copywriting and pain point marketing and them speaking to desires that are enticing to you but maybe are over promising. How you know you’re not being pulled by outside forces is to be so strong in your inner force, in your inner authority to know your process so thoroughly to follow it so completely.

That you’re so grounded in it that all of those data points outside, what people say, the copywriting, the features in the program, what you get, all of that stuff, what your spouse says about it. They’re just that. They’re data points. They are ways that you can filter the information, but it’s your authority that makes the decision whether it’s correct for you or not.

And when you follow that, When you follow strategy and authority into something, then you trust your process. Now, your nervous system is in a state of total regulation. You are in a high expression of yourself. Your energy is high because you are so grounded in the choice you made that you are unshakeable.

There you go, everybody. We bring it full circle to the title of the show. But this is what it’s about. It’s about becoming unshakable. It’s about being so grounded in yourself that nothing can rock you. That’s what this work does. So that same big, bold move made because someone told you that it was the right way made even though that you knew it wasn’t right deep down inside of you, but someone made you so afraid that if you didn’t make the decision, you’d fail overall.

Invest in this thing. Do this thing. Make this big move. Or you’re never going to be successful, and you take that to heart and you get really scared that they’re right. So you make the decision and you do the thing and it doesn’t go your way. Versus taking in that information, passing it through your strategy, your authority, understanding yourself on such a deep level, working through your shadows, being so clear.

That you are able to so objectively take in that information, pass it through your own authority and land on- now I know that this isn’t the right time for me. I’m very sure of that, but maybe it will be another time and you powerfully keep moving in a direction that is correct for you, or it might be the right decision.

I have made these decisions and I’ve made them through my authority when I’ve made them through my strategy and authority. Now I have to wait. My authority is to wait out my emotional wave so I don’t make these spontaneous decisions. it doesn’t serve me to make big, bold moves spontaneously.

That’s not my way. It’s wrong for me. And not just wrong on its face. I mean, I’ve tried it, I have tested it, and I encourage you to do that. Test your authority. Try it. You’ll see that it works. I have seen that mine works when I wait, when I’m in my power, when I make those decisions, when I follow sacral in, and then I wait out to feel into whether the decision is right.

I have made five figure investments in my business multiple times. And I’ve made all of those level investments through strategy and authority. One time I did not know that that was what I was doing, but I did do it. It was before I found human design, but I did follow that process. There was something in me, I was like, I know this is right.

I know this is right. It doesn’t make sense, but I know it’s right. I know it’s right. And I sat with it and I waited until the cart was ready to close. And I spoke to my husband and I made my case for why I wanted his support, not his permission, but his support. And I sat with it some more. And then I sat with it till like the literal 11th hour before that cart closed, and I took imperfect action.

And I said yes, because I knew, I was like, I know this is the decision that’s going to change my life. I feel it. Not, I’m afraid that if I don’t sign up now, then I’ll miss the boat on doing X, Y, and Z. Not because the cart was closing, not because the price was going up. None of those reasons. I did it because I knew it was correct for me, and it was one of the best decisions I ever made.

I’m, I don’t even know how many times I, I 10x’d that money within three months. It was a miracle. It put my business over six figures and I stayed there and never dipped below it since. It was a pivotal moment for me, but I made it through waiting. I made it through following my process, even before I knew that that was what I was doing.

So you’re probably doing it now. You are probably, you have followed your process, but it’s about now doing it deliberately and doing it even when you feel scared, in fact, especially when you feel scared. It’s the most important. So I hope that you see how I’m not trashing taking risks in your business.

I am in no way saying, don’t take imperfect action. I’m saying that imperfect action for the sake of imperfect action is not necessarily the answer. And taking risks for the sake of taking risks is not necessarily the answer. It might be right. It might not be right for you. It is your strategy and authority that will tell you whether it is or not, and that’s the muscle that you should build.

Don’t look at the tactic, the big, bold move. Don’t look at that. Look at your process in assessing whether those big, bold moves are right for you. That’s the shift that I’d love to see you make. That’s the work that I would love to see you double down on, because that’s the work that will carry you throughout every decision you make.

In every area and aspect of your life, and that is the work that will make you unshakable. And that’s what we’re here for, right? You’re listening to this show because you want to be unshakable. I’m telling you exactly how to do it. So go out there and do that, everybody go out there and be unshakeable. I will see you in the next episode.

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